SFW Archives - Page 726 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2017

04

Jan

Heather Graham Bikini Romance of the Day

Heather Graham only has 6000 followers on her instagram @ImHeatherGraham and that is fascinating to me…

At first I thought it was a joke, some mean spirited joke someone was playing on us, because Heather Graham is iconic to perverts who watched movies like Boogie Nights in the late 90s….how could some mall employee in Idaho be more relevant with her 40,000 followers than an actual celebrity…

Then I remembered, she’s old and must not be interesting to people, as old people are…and figured she probably doesn’t update her shit at all…I’ve seen accounts that are just named after a celeb that get tens of thousands of likes…but it turns out she made a post a day ago…so she’s active on it….

But more importantly, I remember the late 90s….were 20 fucking years ago..and she’s probably in her 50s…but 50 or not…she’s still got her tits…and that’s an achievement – especially in this breast cancer filled world…

These pics are pretty fucking boring…but what do you expect from a grandmother using social media.

Posted in:Heather Graham|SFW

2017

04

Jan

Aly Michalka’s Butt Shot of the Day

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I still don’t really know who Aly Michalka is, I know she has a sister, I know they were in a band, I know they had a Disney show and I know one of them had a lot of plastic surgery, yet I don’t know much more about who they are, what they do…what they are about…what inspires them and makes them thrive…

After re-reading that paragraph, I know an insane amount about these Michalkas, I mean more than I probably should…and it’s all thanks to having a pervert blog for pervert people who watch Disney Channel in 2004…and who still care…..12 years later…where the once jailbait is now…because you are romantic…and I guess so is Aly Michalka as she shows you her panty wearing ass for no reason…other than to remind you she still cares….not quite a Jon Benet of her generation, but kinda..thanks to her parents who instilled very important morals and values into her…

Posted in:Aly Michalka|SFW

2017

04

Jan

Joanna Krupa is Paddleboarding of the Day

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Poland’s own…Joanna Krupa may be a shameless self promoter…who was born in Poland but lived in the US all her life…but that doesn’t mean she can’t use it as a marketing hook…this bitch is all about the marketing hook and that’s ok because she’s got a hot body…and when a girl has a hot body…she has every right to be a shameless self promoter…especially when she’s in her 40s like Krupa…

It’s like know your role in the world…and call your paparazzi friends…take those pictures….because tabloids like content and will publish pics of her even at her level of barely famous….

She was a Glamour model who was lucky enough to book Dancing With the Stars, thanks to a good audition and a need for Dancing With the Stars to have hot pussy for the husbands to watch dance, turning her into a reality star…

She is currently out of work…but that doesn’t mean she can’t keep her name in the media cycle…all she needs to do is get into that bikini….

Who knows what is next for someone I’m amazed has even got this far, but when you look like this, good things happen, no matter how cheesy you are….you just have to recognize your talents…and build off that…and maintain that shit as long as you can…because there’s plenty of older rich guys who want something like this to bring to the country club that allows jews….it’s a status thing, a novelty, like showing off a new car your friends can’t afford….only with a vagina that has sex with you…pretty perfect to me…

TO SEE MORE KRUPA IN A BIKINI CLICK HERE

Posted in:Joanna Krupa|SFW

2017

04

Jan

Ryan Newman is Fun of the Day

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The other day I was calling all these young, exploited girls Jon Benet Ramsey of their generation – but not dead…

All shameless celebrities, like Ariel Winter, Bella Thorne, even Selena Gomez 10 years ago….before she had to go to rehab for being dumped by Beiber, like a coddled little twat who can’t deal with her emotions….thanks to parents who had a fucking dream…

And I realize that it is a wonderful thing, when parents teach their kids the importance of being half naked / in bikinis as often as they can…because it builds and audience, gets them more jobs and everyone’s ego can collectively circle jerk, squirt all over their faces in joy of winning the most basic tactic to get known…

And I think she looks great….

Posted in:Ryan Newman|SFW

2017

04

Jan

Leelee Sobieski’s Religious Bathing Suit of the Day

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LeeLee Sobieski must be an Orthodox Jew, you know with a name like Sobieski, raised by her painter artist father and her manager (obviously) mother…probably void of religion, even though she’s been stated that she grew up pan religious…but is proud of her Jewish roots – and in all these years since she’s had a job in the soulless, but also Jewish Hollywood, she’s probably had some time spiritual awakenings…and has committed to her “chosen one” birth right…and in doing that, she’s not showing her big sloppy tits in a bikini, she’s a mom now….but is instead in something super orthodox, I’m just surprised it doesn’t have pants….you know…the way a good Orthodox bathing suit should. I guess you can’t take the young starlet who is a harolot completely out of her new quest to find meaning…

Unless this is just a bathing suit she chose because she liked it and fears skin cancer, in which case, she should look into something with more tit…because the world likes tit…not being confused by this wet suit, fully covered, 1890s inspired weirdness…

It being a religious outfit – makes substantially more sense…not that we should bother with LeeLee Sobieski, she’s old news…but at least she’s got skinny legs…I love skinny legs.

Posted in:Leelee Sobieski|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Dakota Fanning Crotch Shot, Hailee Steinfed Bra and Emma Stone Wet Lesbianism for W Magazine of the Day

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W Magazine got dirty….

Dakota Fanning crotch shot, if you look long enough you can see her uterus….

Hailee Steinfeld dick sucking a lipstick, like it was your cock, only twice the size you mini cock weirdo….

Or Emma Stone Wet Lesbianism…..

What the fuck is going on here…this is better than Playboy….

TOO MANY FETISHES FOR YOU LOSER NERD FAN BOYS

Posted in:Dakota Fanning|Emma Stone|Hailee Steinfeld|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Elisha Cuthbert in a Bikini of the Day

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Elisha Cuthbert, Montreal home grown hottie who has turned her back on her hometown – because she’s gone off and become famous….I’ve only seen her in the city once, she was with a Hockey player…and was a brat acting like you’d expect a famous bitch to do it….

I don’t think you can consider her from Montreal, but not much happens in Montreal because she has gone on and done so many wonderful LA things….like coke off Paris Hilton’s clit….

I remember I waas trying to stage a candle light vigil for her career at her parent’s house ….that never happened because I am lazy…mourning her career….and I remember trying to be friends with her sister…another fail….but I barely remember Elisha Cuthbert….or her spending half your 20s being a cokewhore ….and that behavior clearly doesn’t always ruin you….and this is the proof….she looks hot…

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Bella Thorne And Sharks in Bikinis of the Day

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Luckily for Bella Thorne – she’s not on her period – I don’t know if she’s old enough to have a period – but probably has her period thanks to her parents exploiting her at a young age – traumatic – she just doesn’t even know it, the hormones in the food and the fact that she’s actually a 40 year old…pretending to be 18…to relive the moment and make it happen for her – and happen is happening, with her 15 million followers thanks to being slutty in pictures but not too slutty so that she can maintain her mainstream acting career…which is super fucking weird…but not really – since instagram is everything- instagram is life – just ask Mark Zuckerberg as he counts his fucking money…

She’s still on Vacation, still in a bikini, but will continue to be in bikinis, even after this vacation is over…because that’s how it works. Instagram.

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Katherine McPhee Killer Bikini Selfie of the Day

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I love fries…

I crave fries everyday…but I deprive myself of fries knowing that despite liking a slow death, eating them three times a day is not good….

So when staring at Katherine McPhee in her bikini – all I see in this picture is fries….

I guess when impotence and low testosterone take over your pathetic alocoholic life…you’re food addiction takes over your perversion – and you end up just craving foods like a chick on her period…despite there being a very fertile girl from American Idol, who has historically fucked old dudes…huge titties, ready to breast feed the world, in a meal of their own…participating in the french fry fetish…

This selfie is one of the best…good work…McPhee…

Posted in:Katherine McPhee|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Lily Rose Depp is Wonderful of the Day

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Lily Rose Depp may only be 17, but she’s wonderful, and 16 is legal in France, where she is a citizen, allowing you to follow French law when you stare at her amazing face, that hardly looks 17, but that does look amazing, and interesting, as she does what all these celebrity rich kids – who live in LA do….they ride the fame wave their parents set up for them and cash in like they are actually working towards something…and people are such groupie whores that want anything remotely related to celebrity that they buy into it, pay her….and all that other shit…

So here is some underage but not creepy pics of what will blossom into a lovely Lily Rose Depp adult in 5 months, and she’s in a shoot for a magazine called Jalouse, that I will just assume is for France, and not something pretentiously named “jealous” in french, but probably is, because it’s fashion people and fashion is about being jealous of all these cunts you can find on instagram showing off their bullshit overpriced made in china dog shit..

People are so lame…but she looks good…and that is what matters…that’s the only thing that matters…good genetics to fixate on – in this world of pure shit everywhere…

Posted in:Lily Rose Depp|SFW

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