SFW Archives - Page 781 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

07

Oct

Jennifer Lopez Taking a Shit Face of the Day

Jennifer Lopez is walking around in workout clothes like a typical mom in her 40s…with a billion dollars…who shameless promotes herself as slutty as she can…like she’s not in her 40s…because she’s got the Hispanic vote, and they’ll support her through anything and everything she does, she’s been riding them hard forever…exploiting them even…all while trying to feed her own inflated and annoying ego…to get their feedback on her still being hot….because when you have all the money in the world…having and maintaining some level of sex appeal…is all that matters…

I am not into her, but I am into her face looking like she’s taking a shit, it ties into her big old filled up diaper looking ass…in spandex.

Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|SFW

2016

07

Oct

Claire Danes So Called Cleavage of the Day

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Claire Danes has so called titties at some event for those of weirdos who watched My So Called life in the 90s, and I assume it was all of you, because the average age here is pervert 46 year old, because I am the only one here…I am all of us…

That said, I didn’t find the 90s girl in the ill fitting clothing, hot, it reminds me of horrible time in sex appeal…and Claire Danes and her whining about Jared Leto wasn’t hot to me…but the 90s is back and all these sluts, the instagram whores are pulling that 90s jam, dressing 90s, while being far sluttier than 90s girls who were the worst, making the 90s resurgence involve more 18 year old orgies than my 18 year olds orgies…that didn’t exist…like Claire Danes and her so called tits…

You like how I rounded that one out….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Claire Danes|SFW

2016

06

Oct

Hilary Duff Thick Cleavage and New Tattoo of the Day

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Hilary Duff never excited me…I never thought she was this hot little thing…I generally don’t find any of these actors hot to begin with…but she was just not even on my radar, not when she was 18 and making 100s of millions of dollars doing whatever the bullshit show we was doing – not ever…if anything I just liked laughing at her weird looking sister who clearly got that shitty side of the DUFF deal….so when she got pregnant, married, and turned older than 18…and as the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, months into years…as her baby crawled out of her…to eventually crawl…to eventually be however old it is now….I just didn’t see any appeal, I just assumed her billionaire hockey husband liked her as a human sacrifice to his teammates…a little locker room initiation where she’s the rag they cum on before the new recruit has to lick it off…but then the divorce happened, I guess she did cross fit, trannies starting popping up everywhere, and skinny wasn’t the new black, it was the old black and fat chicks dominated the space…where she turned 28 or 29…and her mom legs got sturdier, thicker, strong enough to carry a fridge on her back up a hill for her trainer…who clearly did a good job training her, as he’s rumored to be banging her, a little K-Fed situation of his own…because when you’re a trainer in Hollywood this is what you dream of….and now…all the pics she’s in is this big and bust, powerhouse…and I just can’t help but think it’s wonderful…I don’t know why I think it’s wornderful..maybe early onslaught dementia…or maybe it is infact wonderful…but I guess what I’m saying is that I am a Hilary Duff fan and I am sexualizing her…even when I shouldn’t be, not because she’s a woman and just innocently walking around, not inviting perverts to sexualize her, but because she’s old, washed up….and I shouldn’t like any of this…but I do…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

In other Hilary Duff news…she got a Tattoo of a sketch of a rose…to honour her pussy, that was once a budding young thing…that has blossomed into a gaping mom thing…and in a few years…she’ll add a wilding…pedals falling off as it slowly dies…to the mix…unless I’ve analyzed this completely wrong…which happens, I didn’t go to art school you know…

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

06

Oct

Elle Fanning for Schon! Magazine of the Day

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People are very in to Elle Fanning, at least I think they are – because her name comes up all the time in the media, and in movie credits, like she exists, she’s a real fucking entity, that people must actually like, I mean why else would she be all over the place, oh right, maybe the media is paid off by the movie companies her parents sold her to, or maybe she’s got the right last name to leverage all the sacrifices her sister made for her, and maybe they are playing that angle properly knowing how this media shit works, up on some Olsen Sister who isn’t one of the twins hustle…all a youthful round ass in fitness gear all the time…because one thing this generation of 18 year olds know, it’s how important fame and social media followers is…and the other thing they know is hardcore porn is socially acceptable, they all watch it, so a little round booty in tight pants while braless is just empowering….and those 40-60 year old creepers like me…agree it’s a great look the shorts must get shorter…the shirts must get sheerer the bras must get more obsolete and the sex tapes and nude selfies must get more plentiful, because you factor in the kind of aged, weathered, disgusting pussy we have access too…this generation is a savior to our jerking off….

That said, these is a hipster fashion shoot, that’s not the kind of hipster fashion I like, if anything it’s creepy and weird, but we wouldn’t expect anything else from the same DNA strain as her creepy sister Dakota….

This is some creepy clown shit…CLOWN LIVES matter…

Posted in:Elle Fanning|SFW

2016

06

Oct

Lindsey Vonn’s Inner Thighs of the Day

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The highlight of this Lindsey Vonn going to the Late Show to promote some bullshit – because she’s an Olympic winner and in that alone, you have to listen, even if her personal brand image is less about skiing, and more about living in LA, with bleached blond hair, and slutty instagram whore tactics and outfit…is her inner thighs..her strong skiing inner thighs…that we can assume TIGER took at least one bite of…

She has recently written a book – or someone wrote a book on her plight as a skier…living the hard life on the slopes in sleepy ski towns…and going to the olympics once every four years…a book that I am sure isn’t about the challenges of dating Tiger Woods Whore Fucker….or a step by step guide to keep your whore fucking man engaged in your sex…it starts in lower body strength and an ability to bounce up and down on a cock all day everyday…thanks to a level of horniness high testosterone from sex brings….

Here’s a caption she posted to this nude ski porn pic….

Well guys, it’s finally here! After a year and a half of hard work and a lot of personal growth, tomorrow my book will officially be sold in stores AND I’m starting my book tour! It’s taken me 31 years to finally be confident with my body and who i am, and I can’t wait to share this with you!

Here are those inner skier thighs….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsey Vonn|SFW

2016

06

Oct

Dianna Agron’s Shitty Naked Bath Snap of the Day

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Dianna Agron liked this snap of her named in the bath with a POODLE filter so much she put it on her instagram…

I know…who cares or even know what Dianna Agron is…

Well it turns out that she is from CSI NY, Glee and who the fuck cares what else, she’s 30 and a good old American actress, singer, model and dancer from Georgia who probably thinks she’s a talent, a triple threat, she was on GLEE you know, and that was a huge show…a triple threat as talented as all the other 30 year old girls in LA trying to make it, or who have already made it and are on their decline…that no one really cares about because we like 18 year olds…

She is engaged to one of the SONS in Mumford and Sons…so she’s not going to have to work ever again, but she should work on her slutty snapchats for her fans who jerk off to her, they need work…something she probably doesn’t know much about since according to her IMDB….doesn’t happen much…

But at least she’s getting naked under the guise of being playful with snap filters…not so brilliant, but none of these twats are…

Posted in:Dianna Agron|SFW

2016

06

Oct

Alena Blohm for Calvin Klein Underwear of the Day

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Alena Blohm is a german model and she’s in this 90s throwback Calvin Klein underwear campaign, not that she remembers the 1990s, she was only born in 1993, but forgetting is something the Germans seem pretty good at, because she may be far too young to have killed the Jews in 1940s, only to act like it never happened, with its whole genetic programs to create the aryan race that creates girls like this, but her grandparents aren’t….

That said, all these young hipsters are reliving the 90s hard, companies are re-releasing 90s products, their ads are all 90s, and it makes me feel like it’s a reminder of when AIDS was still a thing, not that any of you were getting laid in the 90s, missing out on all that fun, but you were jerking off to Baywatch…which is almost the same thing…

Posted in:Alena Blohm|SFW

2016

06

Oct

Amanda Seyfried’s Ass in Leggings of the Day

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Amanda Seyfried is so fucking boring…at least in the media, but she’s got solid tits on a relatively small frame, and Lindsay Lohan hates her, so she must be good at something, must be good at making the queen that is Lohan mad, which could be resentment for Seyfried being a job thief, but could also be because Seyfried is a cunt…because you don’t get famous and maintain a sweet, nice, considerate, warm personality….

Proven in the fact that she’s forced her now fiance to leave his wife for her, because these bitches get what they want…while giving us what we want with an uneventful 30 year old ass in leggings…not so hot..she’s more about the big tits…but it happened…and we all get to witness it two days after the fact…because internet.

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried|SFW

2016

05

Oct

Stella Maxwell’s Looking Hot for HappySocks of the Day

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Stella Maxwell is not just a lesbian looking hipster with uneven sized tiny tits….she’s not even a lesbian looking hipster with uneven tiny tits….she’s a promo model…she’s a Victoria’s Secret model…

She’s no longer a Miley Cyrus fucking social climber, and no longer sucking up to Barbara Palvin to get into Victoria’s Secret…because she’s fucking made it….and here’s a campaign she did for a company that was almost advertising on this site…I feel so connected to fame…and fortune…and style…and

They booked erotic fashion photographer Ellen von Unwerth for their campaign…she’s a big deal and that’s why these pictures are so fun…not that fun, but this is a socks company….

Posted in:SFW|Stella Maxwell

2016

05

Oct

Gigi Hadid is Such Dog Shit for Reebok of the Day

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Gigi Hadid is such dog shit. She’s now been cast by Reebok for some fitness line because she’s starved herself for her fake model career, a model career that is built on bullshit instagram followers, a fake friendship with some Kardashian cunt, and the world being a bunch of fucking clowns who follow garbage trash because they don’t know who else to follow, leading to brands hiring garbage trash because they don’t know who else to hire…it’s just the way it goes…

Now this bitch, like call her rich arab brat with a trust fund, a deep voice, a celebrity boyfriend, and a lot of hype because all she wanted to for her 18th birthday was a modeling career, with some instagram fame…and like most rich arab brats, she got what she wanted….all while rocking a doughy face that looks like some kind of doll, and not in a good way, not the kind you’d want to really jerk off on…but the brands think you do…otherwise why would they use her in the campaign…a campaign you know she’s paid heavy money on…but more importantly, a campaign that won’t convert for them, because I talk to 18 year old girls all fucking day…and not one of them thinks this bitch has it going on, or that this bitch is anything more important that a rich kid brat with access, or that she’s got any substance beyond the garbage that she is….but the good news is that GIGI and her ego do…they think she’s so important…and that’s why she’s out there being shameless…and owning this model thing…even if it’s a joke…you can’t let people think you think it’s a joke…when we all know you know it’s a joke…because the brands will stop writing checks you don’t need…

I guess what I’m saying is take the model jobs from the 1% and start giving them to the unknowns who are actually hot…it’s important…

Garbage…but at least she’s looking skinny…