SFW Archives - Page 818 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

24

Aug

USA Olympic Gold Basktball Team Going Crazy in Mykonos of the Day

The nice thing about Athletes is that they aren’t rapey / rappy / rape rappy.

Not once have I heard a story about paying some 19 year old kid from the ghetto millions of dollars because they are good at what would seem like a stupid fucking skill, one a half retard would be patted on the back from…”Look Ma’ I can get this here ball in that their hoop”…”good boy retard jimmy, you fucking retard….no go back out there and leave me the fuck alone…I shoulda got a retard abortion the second I realized I made a retard”….

That’s not to say all athletes are rapey, especially not your heros, your olympic Gold medalists, but they do like to party like the lamest fucking rappers ever….champagne showers by the pool cuz we won….so we went to Mykonos the most homoerotic of the Greek Isles…

But I guess based on this video of them splashing each other and throwing each other with no chicks…no fucking chicks for an Olympic gold medal team..is as homoerotic as you can get without putting dicks in you..

It’s not gay – it’s team building…

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2016

23

Aug

Bella Thorne Kisses a Girl of the Day

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Obviously…this was bound to happen.

This girl is a master of this shit, she’s just got it all figure out – how simple minded men are – that the less slutty approach gets way more response if there’s a level of slutty in it – becuase being spread pussied on her insta wouldn’t leave anything for the imagination – it’d just be gratuitous – but showing tits in a top, ass in tight pants or shorts, dancing and squatting and swimming is all innocent fun…and pervert dudes love innocent fun…just keep giving them a little taste and they keep coming back for more…

It’s got to the point of girl on girl kiss – I feel like I’m at a college party in the 1990s when this behavior first came to my attention – “girls kiss girls for guys to get horny and fuck them – only to be called rapists the next day”….fascinating…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

23

Aug

Stella Maxwell’s Secret Nipple of the Day

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You need superhero vision to spot this one, which is probably not a big deal to you, because you’re the kind of loser who sees nipples in even the thickest sweater. It’s part delusional weirdo, part really fucking horny, and it’s 30 percent accurate, but that’s good enough, because as long as your virgin loser ass sees a nipple, it doesn’t matter if it’s really there…it’s not like you have any friends to cross reference it with, except maybe like-minded weirdos from whatever internet chat group you exist on, in which case they probably see that nipple too…because they are as pathetic as you…

Now here’s Stella eating that pussy croissant like a pussy…because girl….she eats pussy like a croissant…assuming that she actually ate out Miley in her quest to become the next it-girl model – despite at the time – not being hot…but now…she’s got it going on…it just takes money, success, small implants, a lesbian scandal and hanging out with other models who hook you up to actually make it…

Victoria’s Secret is doing their Michael Bay Holiday commercial in Paris…and this is the glimpse into it featuring Stella Maxwell..

A video posted by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on Aug 16, 2016 at 11:56am PDT

Here life is this mall brand….

Here’s Elsa Hosk – who is hotter than Stella Maxwelll

???? ???? @elizabethsulcer

A video posted by elsa hosk (@hoskelsa) on Aug 20, 2016 at 8:21am PDT

Posted in:SFW|Stella Maxwell

2016

23

Aug

17 Year Old Lily Rose Depp for Chanel of the Day

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I wonder how she got this job?

I mean the good news is that she’s a hot 17 year old, I don’t know if you’re legally allowed to say that…but I’ll assume you are…since people are casting her as a model…

Plus, she has a EURO passport where migrants are fucking 12 year olds, and legally you can fuck 14 or 16 year old girls, at least in France, because they tan topless and that’s enough to make a dude go crazy…

So as long as you’re in France, you can sexualize these, for the rest of you Americans, she is American…so chill the fuck out…

Here’s her mom doing the same campaign in 1991…You sick fucks…you disgust me…

Posted in:Lily Rose Depp|SFW

2016

23

Aug

Dakota Fanning in the Backseat of the Day

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Creepy Dakota Fanning posted a picture of her ass cheek on her shoe…I know there are a lot of fetishes rolled up into this one photo…from feet, to ass, to creepy actress, child star, oscar nominee, whored out by her parents, replaced by her sister, left to figure out this world she missed out on all on her own, with a pile of money to do it….so why not put your foot on your ass and make dreams come true or some shit…which is exactly what she did….sex it up girl…that shit always works…rebel against your family….become your own person….this is the gateway to her doing porn…we have a long road of failures ahead…but I believe we can get to that magical place of broken child star wanting anything to get back in front of the camera….which unfortunately she can do with her social media…dammit…

Posted in:Dakota Fanning|SFW

2016

23

Aug

Sara Sampaio in a Bikini of the Day

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Sara Sampaio is Portuguese version of Adriana Lima, who coincidently speaks Portuguese, in what I think could be a close or a variation of Adriana Lima, where they took her EGG when they first abducted her for the EVIL UNDERWEAR BRAND, 18 years ago…and made this creature in her image…who has similar face, but who they took the dumpy at 30 fat gene out of….

MAKES SENSE TO ME…

Well, she’s in Europe filming some bullshit – but her schedule is so rough she took much needed time by the pool in her bikini for the paparazzi, it’s probably part of her contract with the EVIL UNDERWEAR BRAND…..

And I like how skinny she is…more girls need to get back to this skinny thing…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sara Sampaio|SFW

2016

23

Aug

Natalie Portman is Seducing You of the Day

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I used to fuck an engaged girl who looked a bit like Natalie Portman, so every time I see a picture of Natalie Portman, I remember fucking this Jewish girl unprotected up the ass while her engagement ring reflected the light her cell phone was casting on it as her soon to be husband would be calling her to find out where she was – to ask why she wasn’t home – and all that other fun stuff that comes with cheating….

I also think about how Natalie Portman is iconic in the Jewish world – because it proves a Jewish woman can be really hot and it gives the Jewish men reason to become billionaires to seduce this grade of Jewish women – so that they don’t have to end up with the fat one who runs her dad’s deli….it’s a cultural thing…

In a triple threat, Portman is ALSO a Star Wars character and that sets you up with the weirdest fucking people to follow you through life, so seeing her in this red dress promoting bullshit…is pretty nice..

Posted in:Natalie Portman|SFW

2016

23

Aug

Dianna Agron Muddy Tits of the Day

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Dianna Agron is some actor and singer – but I’m only interested in her for her muddy 30 year old tits…up on some Al Jolston blackface tits – making me get all jungle fever up on the shit – imagining her as the NUBIAN princess she’s clearly trying to be…

People get so mad when people do blackface, even on Halloween while dressed like the President, but they don’t get mad when you do Orange face to represent trump, and they sure don’t get mad at a white bitch doing Black Titties…proving that tits cure racism…now that I’ve figured that one out…I feel I can take a nap…

Posted in:Dianna Agron|SFW

2016

23

Aug

Eliza Dushku in a Bra of the Day

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Eliza Dushku is in a bra for some campaign and her face looks like it’s been mangled or jacked up like a Kardashian, these things happen, we live in a vain and empty world that makes girls think they need new lips, noses, face resurfacing….in both surgical procedures, creams and filters to lie to all of us via social media….

Well, she may be 40….she may have dropped out of hollywood to move back to Boston to finish school, because acting is vapid and a waste of time when you’re not getting paid….or work…like Eliza Dushku….

But there was a time when she was the New Girl, the It Girl, the Girl Next Door, the Hot Girl, The amazing girl in all the teen comedy’s that dropped before Judd Appatow and Seth Rogan destroyed the genre…

There was a time when I was into celebrity pussy, I thought, that’s good celebrity pussy, I never have to meet that celebrity pussy, but I see it in movies and it keeps me watching movies, I’d otherwise turn off, cuz it’s hot to look at…

But that was before life made me hate all these overrated girls to focus on the underdog, who sometimes was missing limbs, always had STDs or a rank pussy, or something totally disgusting about her, because the underdog is less of a cunt…now…I just hate everyone…

A video posted by Official Eliza Dushku (@elizadushku) on Aug 20, 2016 at 5:35pm PDT

Posted in:Eliza Dushku|SFW

2016

23

Aug

Haley Joel Osment Titties of the Day

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No one likes my joke that Haley Joel Osment is his now more successful, despite not being Oscar nominated, but still working, sister….

No one thinks a good tranny to get famous like Bruce Jenner idea which would make sense, a rich 18 year old gets no castings, what’s a boy to do after tasting that fame and feeling really talented in the space, left to his own devices…he gets breast implants, grows his hair, tucks his dick and reinvents his goddamn self….it makes perfect sense…especially since this one flaunts them tits every chance she gets….

It’s probably because no one reads anything I write….although, I did match with a tranny on tinder last night and I kept asking about IT’s uterus…which apparently upset the tranny knowing he’ll never have a uterus….it was pretty good times….without having to leave the comfort of my own pissed stained couch…

Posted in:Haley Joel Osment|SFW

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