SFW Archives - Page 981 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

12

Jan

Tara Reid in a Bikini of the Day

Tara Reid is alive..and a skeleton…but at least she invested in her tits, so that no matter how close to MUMMY or death she gets, she’ll always have massive bulbous breasts to play with….all while giving her a great advantage in casting for low budget Horror Movie characters, where she can play the scary evil grandma…or the anorexic 50 year old and not require much make-up….because really that’s all she’s qualified for…

BUT I am old and remember when she was the hottest thing ever, and I remember those days and these bikini pics make me wonder where it all went wrong…does spending a decade hard partying really destroy you this much..and have to ask…how the FUCK would anyone let her post these, oh right, she doesn’t have a team anymore…because she’s poor…maybe that’s why she’s not eating…spending all her money on meth not cake…

I’d still get up in that though…even if it smells like it looks… death…

Posted in:SFW|Tara Reid

2016

12

Jan

Shay Mitchell Lingerie of the Day

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Shay Mitchell is from Canada…Shay Mitchell is also from TV…Shay Mitchell is Shay Mitchell…she’s trying to rebrand so she’s not typecast…she’s in lingerie…Fascinating…

These pictures of her in her lingerie are from 2015, probably for her massive social media, as these girls need lingerie pics for their own personal collection, in what I think is the weirdest movement in pop culture, that I don’t hate because I like half naked girls, but I don’t know or like that they are so self involved that they feel the need to stage photoshoots…SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING LAME…

But She’s Canadian….and being a thirsty try hard trying to get ahead giving the fans what they want in the form of slutty behavior is party of her hustle…to break free from the show that made her…to give her a career in the future just holding teas and protein powder for instagram….

WEIRD.

Posted in:SFW|Shay Mitchell

2016

12

Jan

Bella Thorne Fitness Porn of the Day

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Bella Thorne understands the system, but the looks of it, she’s been working towards this relevance for the last 40 years. She doesn’t look freshly 18 and I would like to see her actual birth certificate, not the one her family doctored 10 years ago when they put her into Disney or Nickelodeon auditons..that worked out in the end, who knows why…but this is her time to shine, her time to produce fitness porn for her fans…her time to maximize the fact that perverts are into jerking off to her because she’s 18….and they love that shit…even though her body tells a different story of genetic modification and hormones in the food..

Here’s her famewhore, groupie, coat tail riding sister we can call Ali Lohan, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jessica Simpson’s Sister, I don’t even remember her name, ThE HAYLIE DUFF…sisters of famous it girls have felt inadequate, thisty, and pushed the limits further than the sister, trying to maximize their exposure and feel like like failures…it’s like “why am I not as good as my sister, but at least my sister is doing it, so I can go along for the ride, even though my family and everyone around us doesn’t give a fuck about me”….I’m just bitter she blocked me on instagram…

It’s safe to say that I wish the geotag info was posted in this pic, so that I could show up and say hello..

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

12

Jan

Irina Shayk is Pretty Much Everything of the Day

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Irina Shayk is perfection….Sure, I don’t really like the fact that she’s a soulless Russian, because soulless Russians break fucking hearts on their soulless quest to find richer guys than you, after you’ve imported them from Russia and they only care about their own security and future, I guess thanks to a generation or two of total political unrest..it’s like “look out for yourself, or you’ll become a sex worker on cams, instead of Brad Cooper, yes that brad Cooper, the A-Lister Brad Cooper’s, vagina he fucks”…and in exchange she has the opportunity to have his baby and guarantee child support from him, but she’s calculated, brilliant and working it for more than just babies…she’s probably even playing hard to get and making him work…which i guess is a far cry from when Russians were smuggling Levis and Michael Jackson albums into the country that was also their prison…

It’s safe to say that I wish the geotag info was posted in this pic, so that I could show up and offer to wash her bathing suit for her…with my mouth…

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2016

12

Jan

Kaley Cuoco’s Sports Bra on Instagram of the Day

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Kaley Cuoco gets paid 100,000,000 dollars over the next 2 years of her stupid fucking show that everyone on airplanes seem to fucking watch….because I guess that mindless sitcom format, FRIENDS or SEINFELD, still speak to the human condition, while I look on amazed as these robotic sheep laugh along with the canned laughter to bad jokes…because it’s easy..

She’s the Hot girl in the show, but not the hottest girl in the world, or even the hottest girl in the world, or even the hottest girl in the room or at the pary, but when she is in a sports bra, or carrying her bank statements around with her, you forget that she is overrated, and crazy and can focus on her fake tits. Which is what matters.

It’s safe to say that I wish the geotag info was posted in this pic, so that I could show up and offer to walk her home and read her a bed time story as I stretch out her 100 million dollar pussy with my fingers…

Posted in:Kaley Cuoco|SFW

2016

12

Jan

Hilary Duff’s Strong Legs for Cosmo of the Day

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Hilary Duff is a fun divorcee. It’s like she doesn’t even miss her baby daddy, the billionaire heir turned Hockey star from Canada, I guess she was tired of being a puck slut, used in the lockerroom to build morale in some team initiation and team building exercising – all while using her child star, broken, holes…

Well, she’s on a TV show, she’s showing her leg at some office, and she’s thick and fit, which I’m sure the blacks like…and so do you…because you’re one of those weirdo fans who doesn’t know how to move on from 1996…the good years…

It’s safe to say that I wish the geotag info was posted in this pic, so that I could show up and offer my services as a drunkenstepfather….not that I like kids, but rich and famous girls with thick thighs who you know know how to fuck when they aren’t being bratty spoiled cunts thanks to having little to no growing up to do, but rather a staff coddling them….which is something I can handle…as long as I’m medicated and coddled too…

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

12

Jan

Jojo Levesque Grabbing Titty of the Day

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Jojo Levesque confuses me, mainly because when she was a hit jailbait performer, there was very little hot about her, she was 15 and like some bootleg Avril Lavigne, yet that didn’t stop the perverts, the perverts who bought into it, probably because she was 15…and that’s just fucking creepy…

Well, after leaving the industry for a black boyfriend, she’s back and now grabbing tits, giving us something to actually get into…to forget that she banged black guys – as white guys hate when white girls fuck black guys…

I am not allowed to name the girl who’s tit is getting grabbed, we have a pact, but I will say between you an me, she’s pretty fucking magical…amazing…sexy as fuck…and I would have her babies….you may not see it in the pics…but when she tells drunken frat girls to shut the fuck up…that goes right to the depths of your soul and that’s probably why Jojo is going at it…

Posted in:Jojo Levesque|SFW

2016

12

Jan

Kendall Jenner Practicing Her Family Craft of the Day

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Here’s Kendall Jenner posting some training videos her mom puts her through…

We call it the get used to the camera, that makes us money, open that mouth, that makes us money, when they two come together, that makes us money, now open wider, the dick you’ll be sucking when we need you to bring out the big guns, and to dial into our core business and brand, will be massive and black…WIDER…and keep those eyes looking at the camera…good girl….now go promote some nonsense on your instagram and get us paid….we own the world…WE OWN THE WORLD….

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

12

Jan

El Chapo Raid Video of the Day

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Here’s 14 minutes of the El Chapo raid, which is straight out of a movie, possibly directed and produced by Sean Penn….that isn’t a movie at all…because El Chapo’s not a pussy actor, even if he hangs out with them…

I didn’t watch the whole thing, because Mexican billionaires make me mad, it’s like arent they supposed to be working the hotels and taco stands across america..what is this backwards shit…

The real reason I hate Mexican billionaires, is because as a Mexican, he makes me feel inadequate, and like a Vine Star or a Youtube star make me feel like I fucked up by not getting into Vine or Youtube in 2008 when it mattered…but instead just focused on barely writing posts that make sense here…either way…crazy video..

Via

Posted in:El Chapo|SFW|stepNEWS|Videos

2016

11

Jan