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Archive for the Tits Category

2007

28

Aug

I am – Aria Giovanni Lingerie Shoot of the Day

Aria Giovanni

2 years ago I got this really cushy gig working coat check at one of the large after hours clubs in the Gay Village here in Montreal. The great things about gigs like that is you basically get paid to listen to good music, talk to cool people and get fucked up all night. You also get to know a slew of regular clients which is nice, but you also end up seeing them in all sorts of weird situations, which when you are underage and working in a bar is pretty fucked, you know??

So there was this regular club girl that came there all the time with her older, greasy boyfriend, who looked like a slimmer version of Brandon Davis, only with a beard. This chick was an eleven out of ten, for real. Nice implants thats didn’t look too fake, long blonde hair, and a nice tan that didn’t make her look like a Jewish house wife. She was always really nice to me and talked to me alot and over time we got to know each other fairly well, and she would always tip me great at the end of the night.

So this one time I was on my break, and I went to the upstairs bathroom to do a few bumps cause it was always way less busy in that bathroom. The last stall door looked a bit open, so I headed for that one to get some privacy. As I pushed open the door, who I do see, but this chick and her man. The chick is standing on the toilet, with her skirt and panties around her ankles, the guy is down on his knees with a pen in his mouth, and he is blowing what I can only assume is cocaine directly up her ass. Now you have to understand that this was about 2 years ago and I was only beginning my decent into drugs and sexual deviance, and at the time, it scared the shit out of me. I bolted out of the bathroom and went back to work. She came to get her coat at the end of the night and I gave it to her without even looking up. Things were horribly awkward ever ytime I saw her after that, but she seemed to tip me even better, so it was like whatever, you know?

Here’s Aria Giovanni. She looks like the type of gal who would let you blow coke up her ass and then fuck her all night, if you weren’t a fat virgin who still lived at home.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Jessica Simpson and Her True Calling of the Day
Tara Reid Bikini Pics of the Day
Britney Swims Topless of the Day

Posted in:Aria Giovanni|Lingerie|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

28

Aug

I am – Danielle Lloyd Bikini Pictures of the Day…

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I don’t know when these were taken, but they seem to be doing the internet rounds today and being the slowest fucking blog to update, I figured I might as well post them. Her name is Danielle Lloyd, she’s pretty much useless unless you sell bikinis, because she is always in fucking bikinis and because I don’t know who she is, but then again I have no idea who anyone is, I also had no idea that Owen Wilson tried to kill himself yesterday, I had no idea that Carmen Electra was white, and I think I started feeling the anxiety of being a total hack, or like that the pressure was on or some shit because I ended up dreaming that I was at some party with all the other bloggers and no one would talk to me, I would just sit there getting wasted and yelling at random people as they passed by while a group of guys in the other room sat and played nintendo and guitar. It was the closest thing I had to a gay dream in years, there were no girls, just blown up laminated posters of some of their most famous posts, like the Jessica Alba bikini ass on all fours picture and shit.

Either way, I am a hack, I am just waking up, this is Danielle Lloyd and I am not a gay blogger, and if I was invited to one of their get-togethers which I wouldn’t be, because they don’t consider me one of them, I wouldn’t go, and if I did go, I’d bring a crackwhore to piss randomly in random placed when I got bored, on demand, ideally a stinky fucking pee on the couch just to scare the virgins a bit.

So the life lesson is that I will not take a night off of drinking and I will keep ripping off other blogs so that they continue hating me…so that I don’t become one of them…


Related Posts
Danielle Lloyd in a Pink Animal Print Bikini
Danielle Lloyd White Bikini
Danielle Loydd in a Bikini for Cancer
More Danielle Lloyd In a Bikini, It Seems to Be All Bitch Does

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Danielle Lloyd|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Elle Macpherson Surfing of the Day

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It seems like surfing is the new thing for middle-aged celebrities to learn. I am going to admit that I have always wanted to be a surfer because they get all the bitches and are living the dream, unfortunately I don’t know how to swim, I am drunk too often, and I am too fat for any surfboard to support my weight – but I still like to believe that one day I’ll be living the dream….

Here are some pictures of a SLAMMIN’ Elle Macpherson in a bikini that someone sent in to me. She was one of the original bikini models who opened my eyes to bikini models and I remember spending endless nights curled up to my Sports Illustrated 1988 or 89 video where here nipples were exposed numerous times…..

I came across this story I wrote a while ago and figured I’d post it because I don’t think I have yet and since it’s a true story, you need to read it….

I knew this gay kid who was from a gay family. He had a brother and he had a father and he never really spoke of his mother, but it is safe to say that she is either dead or fucked off on them. They grew up in a good part of town and they had a nice house and a good female influence in the shape of a 250 pound aunt who was the biggest leather wearing dyke in the county. His dad was a fag, his brother was a fag and he was a fag but he was in the closet, his dad was in the closet and his brother was in the closet. They were all in the fucking closet for fear of being judged, disowned or whatever because the dad played the front of the homophobe while doing dudes in his spare time.

The family had an unfortunate experience of finding out that each other were into the cock when they all accidentally ended up at the Gay Sauna on the same night and one brother happened to be on the receiving end of the Glory hole and another brother ended up on the left side glory hole and his dad ended up on the right side of the glory hole and dude ended up servicing each of them to completion unknowingly until the meet at greet in the hot tub where the dad decided that it was time for a sit down and talk about him being a faggot and the faggot way of life.

So the point of the story is that the gay kid I knew sucked off his dad and his brother in one sitting, one night, a series of unfortunate events and that story is more fucked up that these pictures of Elle Macpherson could turn any man straight…..


Related Posts:

Elle Macpherson is Insane
Elle Macpherson and her STD
Jennifer Garner Paddle Surfing
Courtney Cox Surfing

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Elle Macpherson|Hot|Model|Surfing|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Tits and Gut of the Day

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Some dude called me a homo and a whiner today because I called him a cocksucker and I realize that I do whine and complain alot and I am okay with that. I emailed some big entertainment company asking them to advertise on my site, they were nice enough to respond to me and send me a rejection directly, usually my emails go unanswered and are just lost forever.

Since I knew the email was hitting his inbox, I took the opportunity to send him an email expressing my opinion. It may not be funny or interesting but I am posting it anyway….

Do you not want to work with me because there is some barely there nudity on my site? It is not a porn site, it is mainstream entertainment site that aims for readers that 21 and older. I figure that if you’re over 21 I sure as hell hope you’ve seen tits before, otherwise you should probably just jump or maybe go gay or something, because let’s face it being a virgin isn’t cool and never will be, no matter what the asexuals at your University are telling you. I think I saw my first set of tits when I was 11…..and I am not talking on my mother, I am talking on a real live girl and it only cost me $5.

Either way, I understand you have to protect your company and your crazy bible fucking audience, it’s just the way of America. It’s more outdated than any other country, but it’s playing things safe and I respect safe, it’s the reason I’ve never tried heroin. I guess the land of the free is really the land of the heavily conservative and scared to push boundaries and you spend your resources discussing whether a congressman is really a republican because in 1990 he was videotaped with supporting pro-choice when a real republican is pro-life….because I can only assume they’ve never knocked up a bitch they didn’t want to get married to because otherwise they’d know that killing a fetus is more exciting than being stuck with a fat whore you had a one night stand with when drunk….because a life of misery is a life not worth living….

If ever you change your mind and want to work with me, I am pretty cheap, at least that’s what my wife always says, but that’s only because I hate her and use her credit card to buy her Christmas gifts. Cuddles.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Speaking of Abortion, Here are some pics of Nicole Richie and her new tits and baby stomach. I am surprised she didn’t have an abortion and I am sure she’s had her fair share of them in the past…Let’s just hope her drug addiction and eating disorder doesn’t turn this kid into some kind of flipper baby….even if it’s the only way anyone can put up with her bullshit….


Related Posts:

Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top of the Day
Nicole Richie is Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Hiking Ass

Posted in:Belly|Nicole Richie|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie's Pregnant Tits and Gut of the Day

nicole_richie_pregnant_top.jpg

Some dude called me a homo and a whiner today because I called him a cocksucker and I realize that I do whine and complain alot and I am okay with that. I emailed some big entertainment company asking them to advertise on my site, they were nice enough to respond to me and send me a rejection directly, usually my emails go unanswered and are just lost forever.

Since I knew the email was hitting his inbox, I took the opportunity to send him an email expressing my opinion. It may not be funny or interesting but I am posting it anyway….

Do you not want to work with me because there is some barely there nudity on my site? It is not a porn site, it is mainstream entertainment site that aims for readers that 21 and older. I figure that if you’re over 21 I sure as hell hope you’ve seen tits before, otherwise you should probably just jump or maybe go gay or something, because let’s face it being a virgin isn’t cool and never will be, no matter what the asexuals at your University are telling you. I think I saw my first set of tits when I was 11…..and I am not talking on my mother, I am talking on a real live girl and it only cost me $5.

Either way, I understand you have to protect your company and your crazy bible fucking audience, it’s just the way of America. It’s more outdated than any other country, but it’s playing things safe and I respect safe, it’s the reason I’ve never tried heroin. I guess the land of the free is really the land of the heavily conservative and scared to push boundaries and you spend your resources discussing whether a congressman is really a republican because in 1990 he was videotaped with supporting pro-choice when a real republican is pro-life….because I can only assume they’ve never knocked up a bitch they didn’t want to get married to because otherwise they’d know that killing a fetus is more exciting than being stuck with a fat whore you had a one night stand with when drunk….because a life of misery is a life not worth living….

If ever you change your mind and want to work with me, I am pretty cheap, at least that’s what my wife always says, but that’s only because I hate her and use her credit card to buy her Christmas gifts. Cuddles.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Speaking of Abortion, Here are some pics of Nicole Richie and her new tits and baby stomach. I am surprised she didn’t have an abortion and I am sure she’s had her fair share of them in the past…Let’s just hope her drug addiction and eating disorder doesn’t turn this kid into some kind of flipper baby….even if it’s the only way anyone can put up with her bullshit….


Related Posts:

Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top of the Day
Nicole Richie is Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Hiking Ass

Posted in:Belly|Nicole Richie|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Lohan’s Sex Scene from I Know Who Killed Me of the Day

I never ended up seeing the Lohan movie “I Know Who Killed Me” because I don’t have money for that shit and because I don’t think anyone else did meaning it stayed in theaters for all of 3 weeks….but I am okay with watching the Lohan sex scene because I can only assume this is how she fucks in real life, and knowing that if I was really in the room with her and not just there in fantasy, all I’d be thinking about is shit, I hope I don’t get herpes…why the fuck am I doing this…I am going to totally get herpes…I’ve been alive 37 years and I’ve done a lot of bad things…but never got herpes…I can’t believe my dick is working this is amazing…fuck I don’t want herpes…then I’d cum. here’s the video.

Posted in:Ass|Lindsay Lohan|Sex Scene|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Lohan's Sex Scene from I Know Who Killed Me of the Day

I never ended up seeing the Lohan movie “I Know Who Killed Me” because I don’t have money for that shit and because I don’t think anyone else did meaning it stayed in theaters for all of 3 weeks….but I am okay with watching the Lohan sex scene because I can only assume this is how she fucks in real life, and knowing that if I was really in the room with her and not just there in fantasy, all I’d be thinking about is shit, I hope I don’t get herpes…why the fuck am I doing this…I am going to totally get herpes…I’ve been alive 37 years and I’ve done a lot of bad things…but never got herpes…I can’t believe my dick is working this is amazing…fuck I don’t want herpes…then I’d cum. here’s the video.

Posted in:Ass|Lindsay Lohan|Sex Scene|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Sara Harding’s Tits of the Day

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I did some thinking a few weeks ago and realized that all my slutty behavior as of lately could potentially ruin my life in the form of a baby since I never bother to use condoms. Most of my sex takes place in dirty bathrooms and alley ways behind bars for the most part and I just can’t be bothered with them in the heat of the moment. I’ve never really been into condoms because they generally ruin all the sensation involved in fucking and I’m not scared of AIDS anyways.

The pill pack includes this big long sheet listing all the things that could go wrong and basically tell you all the ways you can die because of being on the pill, which is really reassuring. What they didn’t tell me however was that my tits would basically double in size in a one month period. No, they aren’t fucking DD’s, but when you have small tits and they suddenly double in size, you suddenly stop hating life as much, and possibly believe god has been listening to your prayers all these years and did something for once.

But he hasn’t, and he didn’t, because there is no God and if there was, he would most certainly hate people like me and you, which is why I will always be a poor slut, getting attention in the form of dirty sex, and you will be a virgin forever.

Here’ Sara Harding. My tits are about as big as hers now, and I don’t hate her much as I used to, because now we have something in common.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Sara Harding is a Club Slut of the Day
Sara Harding Naked of the Day
Charlie Uchea Nip Slip of the Day

Posted in:Sara Harding|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Sara Harding's Tits of the Day

sara_harding_tits_header1.jpg

I did some thinking a few weeks ago and realized that all my slutty behavior as of lately could potentially ruin my life in the form of a baby since I never bother to use condoms. Most of my sex takes place in dirty bathrooms and alley ways behind bars for the most part and I just can’t be bothered with them in the heat of the moment. I’ve never really been into condoms because they generally ruin all the sensation involved in fucking and I’m not scared of AIDS anyways.

The pill pack includes this big long sheet listing all the things that could go wrong and basically tell you all the ways you can die because of being on the pill, which is really reassuring. What they didn’t tell me however was that my tits would basically double in size in a one month period. No, they aren’t fucking DD’s, but when you have small tits and they suddenly double in size, you suddenly stop hating life as much, and possibly believe god has been listening to your prayers all these years and did something for once.

But he hasn’t, and he didn’t, because there is no God and if there was, he would most certainly hate people like me and you, which is why I will always be a poor slut, getting attention in the form of dirty sex, and you will be a virgin forever.

Here’ Sara Harding. My tits are about as big as hers now, and I don’t hate her much as I used to, because now we have something in common.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Sara Harding is a Club Slut of the Day
Sara Harding Naked of the Day
Charlie Uchea Nip Slip of the Day

Posted in:Sara Harding|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Kylie Minogue’s Cleavage in a Kite of the Day

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You all know the story, I realized that gay bloggers get all the fame and glory on the internet. That girls flock to them and that they can get away with saying a lot ruder and racier shit than I can so asked my stepdaughter to hook up her gay friend for the job, that isn’t really a job, because it doesn’t pay. Since I don’t know where my stepdaughter is and haven’t seen her in a couple of days, I am going to post Julien’s post because having a token gay blogger is going to make me famous…..bitch.

I was trolling around Cragslist the other day, looking through the Causal Encounters section, the M4M section and of course looking through my favorite section, Missed Connections. I go through that one daily to see if anyone has had one for me but so far no luck. I mean what are they going to write “I saw this coked out faggot wearing women’s jeans and a lamae t-shirt riding the bus and I thought he was pretty hot�? I don’t think so.
And yes, I actually own that outfit.

So anyway I was on Craigslist and I saw an advertisement for a sex party that was happening that night. Now, in the gay community, sex parties aren’t that unusual, they pop up on Craigslist from time to time and I had never gone to one, but this was a particularly slow night so I thought what the hell. So, I go to this guy’s house and I enter into the living room where everyone was having sex. The guy had arranged the living room so all the couches were along the sidelines so there was this big open area in the middle. There were a few couples on couches here and there but the main attraction was in the main area. About 8 guys were standing up in the middle of the room fucking each other in one long line. Each guy had his dick in the ass of the guy in front of him. I watch this for about 5 minutes deciding whether or not to jump in there when Kylie Minogue’s cover of “The Locomotionâ€? comes on the stereo and all the guys in the train go wild for it. And I thought to myself “Wow, this too gay even for me.â€? So I left.

Here are few pics of Kylie dressed up half-way between Amanda Lepore and a kite. Oh and remember while you are jerking off to her cleavage that she had breast cancer. So you should feel really bad about that. Unless that’s what you are into. You sick fuck.

Smooch!

Julien


Related Posts:

Kyle Minogue’s Breast Implants
Dannii Minogue Getting Tight With a Chick
Dannii Minogue’s Lap Dance Video
Kylie Minogue’s Ass

Posted in:Breast Cancer|cleavage|Dress|Kylie Minogue|Tits|Unsorted