I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Uncategorized Category

2008

18

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

Great News……Along with issues with the paparazzi suing me if I don’t pay them 1000 dollars a month that will be going to the lawyers on Monday and threats from some forum members that they are going to the FBI about shit in the stepFORUM some other asshole reported me to the FBI about my Bristol Palin voicemail messages:

To Whom It May Concern:

Just putting all of you on notice:

The FBI, the Secret Service and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police have been apprised of your website, they have all your IP addresses, as well
You are all collaborators and co-conspirators in a criminal, international enterprise.

The follow-up

You utilized, employed, distributed and obtained confidential information in an illegal manner.
Moreover, you threatened and harassed a person under the protection of the Secret Service….
 
The sick and crazy one is you, apart from being a despicable coward.

Can’t anyone take a fucking joke? Even if it wasn’t that funny. The internet’s gone fucking crazy and it looks like I may end up in jail for my shitty comedy. I shoulda listened to my friends when they told me my jokes are so bad that they should be illegal, I didn’t believe they were telling me the truth and now I feel like I need to quit blogging. These Right Wing Psychos just don’t get me.

Either way, here are my links….

My Pussy is Stuck in the Toilet
GO

Desean Jackson is Gonna Get Fired
GO

Just Can’t Get Enough of Charlize Theron
GO

Sophie Howard is Wearing Purple Latex
GO

Elevator Game Face!!
GO

Think Your Band is Good? Think Again
GO

Forget Real Life, Porn is All I Need
GO

Daisy Lowe is Lookin’ Good in Leotard
GO

Isabella Ferarri Naked Shower Throwback
GO

Remember When Renee Zellweger was Hot? Neither do I
GO

When Stewie Went to Wall Street
GO

HOt Chicks Rip At Each Others Clothes on The Beach
GO

Uhhhh Madonna, What Are You Doing?
GO

Because I Know You Have Nothing Better to Do. Loser
GO

The Out Takes Are Always Better Than the Real Thing
GO

Escalator Upskirt Prank
GO

Fight Breaks Out During ATV Prank
GO

Stop Lying to Your Mom About Having a Girlfriend
Alli’s Breasts Are Amazing
GO

Is This Thing On
GO

Susana Spears Has Taken It All Off
GO

The Sluts From 90210 Need to Eat Some Fucking Food
GO

More Bollywood Amazingness. Yes, That is a Word
GO

Nothing Like a Blonde Web Cam Slut
GO

I Guess That’s as Good a Reason to Steal Something as Any
GO

Meadow Soprano Looks Kind of Alright in Her Bikini
GO

Pink Mans It Up in Some New Magazine Shoot
GO

Because Sometimes Meeting a Slut Just Isn’t Enough
GO

Some Pictures of Janet Jackson That Made Me Barf
GO

Blondie Striptease of the Day
GO

Drunk Off Her Ass. Literally
GO

Sweet Like Candy
GO

I See London, I See France, I See….Mischa Barton’s Nipple
GO

Topless Window Washer Prank
GO

Akiri Lane is One Hot Half Breed
GO

Here’s Some Photos of Brandy She Got Taken to Help Distract From the Fat That She Killed Somebody With Her Car
GO

Gotta Love Those Calvin Kleins
GO

Home Invasion Prank is Mean, but FUNNY!
GO

Jeanette Biederman Shows Off The Masterpiece On Her Chest
GO

The Ten Hottest Female Celebity Sports Fans
GO

People’s Best and Worst Dressed 2008 List
GO

Was this woman aware she would appear next to the term ‘masturbation’ on Wikipedia when this was taken?
GO

Watch this Choreographed Jesus Dance Routine
GO

The 10 Craziest Kelsey Grammer Moments
GO

The 10 Hottest Actresses in Sports Movies
GO

Middle Aged Porn Stars Finally Come Together
GO

Belgian Actress Virginie Elfira is Someone You Will Want to Fuck…
GO

The Top 10 Cheerleaders Gone Bad
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

17

Sep

Kate Hudson is Drunk in London of the Day

Kate Hudson was drunk in London this weekend. Lance Armstrong still only has one testicle and was in Canada this weekend for some charity event where people had to raise 25,000 dollars for cancer to ride their bikes with him.

I know they aren’t fucking anymore, but she still fucked a dude who is missing body parts, which probably isn’t as bad as the time I fucked this chick who was actually a neighbor’s Golden Retriever, boy was I embarrassed when they caught me. I am lying. I would never do that to a dog, but I’ve never fucked an amputee so I just can’t think of anything worse that I’ve done than fucking a dude with one ball, maybe fucking a dude with no balls and the female equivalent would be fucking a chick with no tits (Christina Applegate) but making fun of breast cancer is never funny, unless the chick with breast cancer is Sarah Silverman, because I hate her.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

15

Sep

Some Tommy Lee Lame Drum Solo from the 80s of the Day

I am going to admit that I am not feeling up to the job today, the thought of lookin at pictures of celebrity chicks and writing my stories to them seems fuckin’ boring as shit, but I’ll shape up in the next few minutes, but in the meantime, how about watching this Tommy Lee solo because despite all the cheesy, fake tit, groupie pussy he gets he’s still a fuckin’ loser attention craving drummer in the back of the stage trying to get a little of the glory the rest of the band was getting and that insecurity and really lame execution of a desperate cry makes me feel better than I did about 6 minutes and 41 seconds ago. Enjoy.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

12

Sep

Sophie Monk Rides A Bikini in a Bike of the Day

Here are some pictures of Sophie Monk riding a bike in a bikini top, getting back to her fifth grade memories, when life was so simple. She’s even got the little license plate that reads her childhood nickname her dad used to call her and I guess it’s all because Good Charlotte broke her heart and she’s trying to find that “safe place” they taught me about when I was in therapy. The only difference is that this Sophie Monk refused a seat because she wants to remember what penetration feels like. If you’re wondering why you see a seat in the picture, it’s because she my theory didn’t actually happen, it was just me being stupid and making reference to the fact that the last guy she dated didn’t have a penis and that was before Paris Hilton’s acidic diseased cunt touched it, so now I guess he’s got a scabby fleshy mound like a Ken Doll, but fatter and with more suburban tattoos from the strip mall in his hometown.

Either way, shes wearing a bikini top, oh my god. Virgins Unite that was me trying to make some kind of comic book reference to people who get excited about chicks in bikini tops, but I never read comic books so I’m just clueless on the shit, and probably not that much cooler than you, despite knowing what a vagina feels like.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Angelina Jolie Modeling Shoot When She Was 16 of the Day

So there was a time when a very different lookin’ Angelina Jolie was just some typical rich kid slut who loved attention and who hated herself who got half naked in front of the camera while high in what looks to be some kind of Snuff film, but that doesn’t end like a snuff film should, but instead becomes the gateway to some long lasting career as some dark girl we all wanna fuck, but I see through the act and know she’s more hungry for attention than she ever was for cock, but realized cock was the vehicle for attention.

This is old, you’ve probably seen it already, I am posting it anyway, because it reminds me of videos I try making for girls with no daddies who I meet at the bus shelter, only they never go onto become famous. Enjoy.

Keep in mind that I didn’t double check whether this video works or not, it’s old, so I guess who really cares. Right?

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|Model|Slut|Teenager|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Christina Milian in a Slutty Dress of the Day

Remember Christina Milian from that video where she rolls around in mud, wishing she was black, like the time I put shoe polish on my face and sang slave songs in a pretty shitty southern, broken english accent because I thought it would get me street cred, when all it really did was get me a lot of dirty looks because the black peole were convinced I was mocking them and didn’t realize I was trying to be down with them because I love black girls. I love the skinny ones at least, with their long legs and tight bodies and know how to move all with low expectations when it comes to Christmas, they are just happy to not get shot, so they don’t cost that much while white girls expect so much out of you, whether it’s time, gifts or hugs. I guess it’s because black guys aren’t too down with waiting around for them, especially after knocking them up.

I don’t love the fat black girls because they are horny, aggressive and stronger than me and because I don’t like fat chicks in general. About 2 months ago, I was walking around some hotel lobby, as I do lookin’ for unsuspecting girls from out of town, when some big ol’ Aunt Jamima lookin girl puts her really big arm around my shoulder and asks me what I am doing in town, how long I’m here for and who I am with. Knowing she wants to get paid to suck me off, I tell her I am waitin for my wife, that I am here all week, be sure to try the steak and she gets all mad and tells me how badly she wanted to keep me company all week, for 50 dollars a day. I told her I was offended that she would take me for the kind of guy who needs to pay for friends and sex, then cried into her big ol’ Aunt Jamima arms when I realized that I was the kind of guy who needs to ay for sex because girls just don’t like me, but they do when I am paying them to and that works for me.

Since we’re talking about whores here, here’s some Christina Milian trying to stay in the picture by wearing some slutty dress you want to fuck off her.

Posted in:Christina Milian|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

The Best Videos of People Doing a Dance to Rihanna’s Disturbia I Could Find in 3 Minutes of the Day

I decided to look up random people dancing to the song Disturbia because I was bored and not feeling creative and that song is on all the fuckin’ time. None of these girls have the dirty moves I’ve seen girls do in clubs to this song, but it’s always funny watching white people dance. I don’t know if everyone is 18 on this shit, but I blame Youtube for not providing a warning or disclaimer and breeding a whole new generation of dudes who get off to young girls in their underwear by making it a lot more accessible than slipping roofies in their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, if you know what I mean. Which you do….

I am sure there are better videos of this out there, but I’m not going to bother lookin’ for them.

Posted in:Rihanna|Uncategorized|Youtube

2008

10

Sep

Blake Lively is a Leprochaun of the Day

Despite popular belief, there is nothing hot about Blake Lively and these pictures of her dressed like a fucking Leprochaun, or some used Kleenex pretty much prove it. I hate when girls who don’t deserve attention get attention because we have enough ugly chicks in the world, and should do everything in our power to break them down, to realize that they are ugly so they develop complexes and never leave their houses because they feel too ugly to and because everytme they do leave their houses, they have guys like me pointing and laughing at them, until they eventually don’t bother making the world a much nicer place. So as useless as Blake Lively seems, she’s got the power to change the world by caging one ugly bitch at a time, starting with her.

Instead, she’s got this ego that she’s important and hot and that people like her and I think that along with September 11, AIDs and poverty, that is one of life’s great tragedies.

Posted in:Blake Lively|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Jojo is Still Alive for the People Who Still Jerk Off the Her Music Videos of the Day

Remember Jojo, the ghetto chick who spoke with a black accent and dated rich teenage rappers like Lil Bow Wow or the other one who I can’t remember right now. She’s the girl all these perverts were so excited to see turn 18 because they thought she was so hot and once she turned 18, everyone forgot about her, which leads me to believe that everyone is just a bunch of perverts who find a bitch hot because she’s illegal to fuck and the second she’s no longer official jailbait, they forget about obsessing over.

I never thought Jojo was hot or would turn out to be hot and I was right, but that’s just because I don’t look at jailbait as the forbidden fruit, I look at is as easy pickins, I mean not for me, but for someone with decent looks and a little charm, because their little minds are so easy to manipulate into doing all the evil things you want them to do because they just want to be adults and being an adult usually involves sitting on a dick, so instead of jerking off to their music videos, you should just tell them that grown girls never say no to your requests and make them feel insecure about being young by saying things like “if you were older you’d be so hot” or “if you were older you’d be way more fun to hang out with” and before long, they’ll be workin’ you like they work their crimpin iron or whatever the McDonald’s cash register you met them at…..

Either way, here’s some Jojo in purple….

Posted in:JoJo|Jojo Levesque|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Hayden Panettiere’s Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Comments Off on Hayden Panettiere’s Feeling Herself Up of the Day

I am guessing these pictures came out yesterday and they are of Hayden Panettiere adjusting her tits since no one she knows wants to do it for her for fear that their friends will call them gay and you know how hard it is to live down that rumor. The truth is that I don’t really understand why she has to turn to masturbation when there are a lot of perverts with no standards out there and the truth is that we all grew up with Tonka Trucks and she’s just the real life female version only instead of filling her up with sand in the sandbox, you can fill her up with cum in her manly box, that is rumored to still be a box despite the fact that it’s got a six pack, knows how to do chin ups and can crush a can of beer with it’s clit hood, at least that’s the rumor.

Truth is this post is stupid and so am I so I’ll keep it up anyway because I like the direction I tried to go with this, I just didn’t really deliver as well as Hayden did with her titties, ya homo.

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Posted in:Breasts|Hayden Panettiere|Uncategorized