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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

23

Nov

I am – Cindy Crawford Bikini Pictures of the Day

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In being hungover, uninspired, bored and lazy. I decided to let some girl who added me to facebook write this post without having seen the pictures because this shit’s like American Idol, the blog version, only difference is, writing on the site doesn’t make you an idol to anyone except maybe to people in third world countries, but that’s just because they’re jealous that you have a computer and free time to spend writing garbage for a website, while they’re out working the field and eating bugs to survive.

This is what she wrote:

Cindy Crawford is an ugly old bitch who sucks and I ahte her. I wish she would take that mole off her face and shove it down her throat so that she’d choke and then die. But I’d still fuck her.


Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford Covering Her Old Body on the Beach
Cindy Crawford’s a Nose Picker
Cindy Crawford’s Got Some Cleavage
Cindy Crawford and Her Bondage Hat

Posted in:Bikini|Cindy Crawford|Model|old|Unsorted

2007

23

Nov

I am – Britney Spears Upskirt Pictures of the Day

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So everyone rags on Britney for being crazy, when reality is that all girls are fucking crazy except when they are young and not trying to be like Britney, but that’s just because the crazy hasn’t matured and blossomed into a nice crazy flower. I was out last night and this hot bar tender asks me if I am in a band, because I guess dudes in bands look like middle-aged homeless dudes who smell like shit, so being smart, I said yes, because had I told her I write a useless fuckin’ website no one reads, my chances of finger-banging her while doing shots would have been a lot less.

Either way, she buys me shots, I tell her I want to marry her, she tells me she has a boyfriend, you know how it goes. I end up barely making out with her, more like accidentally grabbing her and shovin’ my tongue down her throat, and she was having it, until she remembered she had a boyfriend, turned on me, bitched me out and get me banned from the bar.

What I am getting at is that a little Britney upskirt action isn’t a sign of her being an unfit mother or insane, it’s a sign of her being a fucking chick and if we were to put every girl under a fucking microscope like we do with her, you’d all probably be suckin’ dick and taking it up the ass within a week, not that you aren’t already doing that, but you don’t want us knowing, because you and your buddy were drunk and horny and heading home alone with boners and figured that since you have a hole and he’s got a hole, why the fuck were you wasting your time getting rejected by chicks. It only makes sense…right? Fag.


Related Posts:

Britney Spears Vagina Shot of the Day
Chris Crocker Leaves Britney Alone With His Upskirt
Christina Aguilera’s Pregnant Upskirt

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted|Upskirt|Vagina

2007

23

Nov

I am – Le Call in a Bikini Again of the Day

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I am a lot like Owen Wilson, except for the fact that he’s a suicidal drug addict who fucks hot shit, when I am just a drunk fat dude who recognizes that I suck at life but would never jump. I also don’t fuck hot shit or I just fuck shit unless you count the time I was still slamming my wife and she shit on my dick because she ate too much mexican food and thought she just had to fart and I still finished, but that was years ago and I only did it because being Mexican, the irony was poetic and poetry always makes me cum.

I was at a bar last night and it turns out that people at bars hate me as much as I hate myself, because the last 6 times I’ve left my house it’s ended in some serious conflict where I am the center of the fucking problem. The problem is usually that I am a schoolyard bully who gets off on fuckin’ around with people, and instead of muscling them out and stealing their lunch money, I just run my mouth off and they don’t get me. I don’t do it to fight, I do it is for jokes, but it turns out that I am not funny and that people don’t get me and I can only blame you for my problem, because you’ve given me false sense of talent for emailing me telling me that I am funny, like Hayden Panettiere’s got the false sense of being hot. I am so bad at this blogging shit that I shoulda used this paragraph in the Hayden post but didn’t. No wonder people try to beat me up.

Either way, here are some pictures of his new vagina with a stupid name in a bikini from a few days ago because she’s easy on my hungover eyes and because she’ll lead this fucker to actually killing himself when she fucks off on him after becoming famous off his controversy, and I am all about people who inspire people to succeed.


Related Posts:

Le Call in a Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Le Call|Tits|Unsorted

2007

23

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere’s GQ Photoshoot Video of the Day

So I’ve been celebrating a holiday I am not allowed to celebrate because I am not American, and drinking is my kind of protest, but I also like making excuses about why I am drinking at 6 am on someone’s couch with a dude who has webbed toes, like he was some kind of Hayden Panettiere circus performing freak, except that he’s more attractive than she is, because he can hide his creepy disorders in a pair of fuckin’ socks, while she’s wearing that shit on her sleeve everytime she leaves the house and starts juggling.

This is the video of her photoshoot for GQ that was probably the hottest she’s ever looked.


Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere Hot GQ Photoshoot
Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt
Hayden Panettiere is Ugly

Posted in:GQ|Hayden Panettiere|Photoshoot|Unsorted|Video

2007

22

Nov

I am – Miranda Kerr Bikini Fashion Show Pictures of the Day

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Guess who just woke up still drunk from the Thanksgiving party I had for myself last night that involved drinking and a turkey that wasn’t so much of a turkey but more of a bottle of Whiskey……Here’s some Australian model named Miranda Kerr modeling some bikinis. It’s Thanksgiving and I figured I should throw something up for you fuckers, because I have a feeling that the 6 of you are the kinds of guys who don’t get invited to family functions and ever if you were, you’d be uncomfortable leaving your computer for the amount of time it would take to eat dinner and because I am in Canada and it’s a work day for everyone here, not that that really has much influence on the way I live my life as is now, cuz this isn’t a fuckin’ job.

Either way, I’ve decided that Vagina is my poison, but that’s just because I’ve only been with disgusting girls and like to joke about how I only bag dirt, like a gardener or a hippie with a compost pile in his self containted organic living compound. But then I remember that joke isn’t funny and cry instead because I realize that I suck at life and would like to give thanks for that.

I don’t know when these Miranda Kerr Bikini Pictures were taking, but she’s hot right now and I am into hot girls, so that’s my post.


Related Posts:

Heidi Klum Playing With Her Tits Video from Yesterday
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in Picture
The Victoria’s Secret Angels Fly Virgin

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Fashion Show|Miranda Kerr|Unsorted

2007

22

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I am talking to a virgin on Facebook and I am trying to convince her to have sex with me, not because I can actually get it up for anyone, even a hot 18 year old virgin, but because I’ve never slammed a virgin, all the girls I’ve been with were fucking whores, which was basically why I was getting with them in the first place and figure that if I can sort out this hustle, and convince her to let me put my dirty greasy drunken hands on her, I’ll figure out a way to make my shit work. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

The reason I am so happy about this is because I thought that my window for fucking a virgin was closed. I figured every girl gets fucked by the time she’s 15 and hanging in school yards, despite being a good time, can get you in serious trouble, so the 18 year old virgin is some rare fuckin’ breed, and getting her talking to me is like winning the fucking lottery because I didn’t know that they existed and because girls are usually scared of me.

My problem is that I got no game for virgins and only know how to bag drunk chicks, so this girl’s basically told me that she’s not going to fuck me because I am old, dirty and make her sick to her stomach, even after I pleaded my case that I’ve never slept with a virgin and want to before I die and that she should see it as a charitable donation, even if the bitch doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing, it still makes my dreams come true, then I offered to rent the movie Kids and get drunk in her parent’s basement and she still hasn’t answered. I guess she’s not into my romantic ways.

Join the DrunkenStepfather.com Hate Site Group on Facebook
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Here are the rest of my links….

The Hometown Hotties Dance Reel Because I Didn’t Get Invited To Their Party
GO

The Tila Tequila Lesbian Fight Continues with Tears….on A Shot At Love….Hilarious
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Amy Winehouse’s Nose Full Of Gold
GO

This is the Best Diver in France
GO

Some Drunk Blonde Chick Tries to Crush a Can on Her Head in Her Bikini
GO

Some Webcam Chick Shaking Her Ass on Webcam
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Eva Longoria Photoshoot for Parade Magazine
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Some Coco Cameltoe Action
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The Maxim Online Thanksgiving List Which Is Pretty Much Hot Wet Girls…..
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This Explains Where The Olsen Kidney Infection Came From Cuz She’s a Dirty Bird…
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Lohan and Her Lame as Fuck Dude Who Is Fucking Her Who Isn’t Me….
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Michelle Marsh’s Hot Slutty Music Video
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Fernanda Mello is some Chick in a Bikini
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Jessica Simpson is Emotionally Eating Because She’s Single
GO

Tara Reid Lookin Disgusting and Slippin Some Thong at the Airport
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Hilary Duff Pretends To Like Hockey Because She’s Slamming a Hockey Player and Has To Pretend To Show Interest in What He Does
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Some Chick Named Sasha Grey Posing Naked Gallery
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Some New Kim Kardashian Ass Pictures
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The Plastic Surgeon Who Coulda Killed Kanye’s Mom Appears on Larry King Only To Fucks Off
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Some Hot Lingerie Photoshoot Video With Mia Rosing
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Paris Hilton’s Tongue in China….
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Some Dumb Blonde Chick is Outsmarted By a Microphone
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Shakira’s Concert Causes Controversy Because She’s To Slutty
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Britney Spears Hiding Under Her Blanket
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Here’s a Pre-Release of Godmack That’s Not Coming Out Until December Leak
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Classic Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Polka Dot Viki is Some Slut Getting Naked…
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Nicole Richie’s New Gig is Promoting Dog Urinals or Some Shit…Because Even She Thinks She’s A Useless Celeb
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UCSB Students Punk the CIA…I Don’t Get this Video But Maybe You Will
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Daytime Drinking on the Street is Rock and Roll…Wearing UGGS While Daytime Drinking on the Street Is Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts
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Christina Applegate’s Lame X-Mas Fur-Get-Me-Not Ad
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Emma Greenwood’s Upskirt Pics That I Think are Intentional
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Some Girl in Her Underwear Doing Shadow Puppets
GO

Some Kid Sticks His Face in a Fire Ant Hole Because He’s an Idiot
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Ivey Ames Sucks Dick For You
GO

Use This Spray To Get Laid
GO

The Olly Girls Are Hot in Bikinis and Know Sports…..
GO

From Photobucket –

Oh Baby…
GO

From the Forum:

Some Suicide Girl in the Bath
GO

The Slut Poll
GO

The Playboy 2008 Girls Next Door Calendar
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart in Video
GO

Download Some Suicidal Tendencies
GO

Some 52 Year Old Getting Some Dick
GO

Download Some More of The Who
GO

Download Some Deborah Harry Album
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

21

Nov

I am – Heidi Klum is Hot and Annoying of the Day

I posted a link to this video in my stepLINKS last night, but since you asshoels and don’t support what I do, you probably didn’t see it. It’s a video of her acting like an annoying bitch but she’s in a bra so the words she says and the dances she does don’t phase me and that is why hot girls are my poison.

I am the kind of guy who will put up with so much fuckin’ bullshit from a hot girl just because I like lookin’ at her and for the most part every hot chick I’ve come across in my life has been an idiot, probably because they are hot and never really had to refine their personality to be socially acceptable because they were always given what they wanted and that’s why hot girls are their own breed of human because the rules the rest of us have to follow just don’t apply to them. The the only rule that should apply to them is to get in my soiled bed, ignore my fat wife and the damp sheets from her sweating, pretend the shit smell they are smelling is roses, and let me give them a full body massage with my tongue, and that includes their asshole.


Related Posts:

Heidi Klum Naked in a Magazine
Heidi Klum Reliving the Past on the Runway
Heidi Klum in a Hot and Expensive Bikini
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in Picture

Posted in:Crazy|Heidi Klum|Hot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

21

Nov

I am – Le Call in a Bikini of the Day

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You don’t know who this bitch is and either do I, but the word on the internet is that she’s Owen Wilson’s supermodel girlfriend who I’ve never heard of, but then again, I am not good with remembering names or celebrities, I only remember vaginas.

The thing I like about Owen Wilson is that he tried to kill himself and failed. I always find failed suicide the biggest fuckin’ joke, not because I am into people dying or anything like that, but because you know when a motherfucker hates themselves so much and wishes they were dead and decide to actually go through with it because they are failures and suck at life so much and don’t deserve to live and end up failing at that too, it’s like can’t you get anything right you fucking loser.

I knew a dude who jumped off an overpass onto a freeway back in the day, his logic was that if he doesn’t die, he’ll at least get run over, but what ended up happening was two broken legs and few other broken bones and some head injury and no cars ran him over, and no one called an ambulance for him for 4 hours, because he did it late at night in some deserted part of the highway that no one was driving on and now dudes half retarded and has a limp and everytime I see him I can’t help but laugh.

I guess the good news for Owen Wilson is that he is lucky he didn’t end up dying and that he got a new lease on life, because it seems to be working out for him alright, this girl is much higher quality than that damaged Kate Hudson trash, even though the girl only with him because she’s using him to get her name out there because she knows there’s going to be media attention since he tried killing himself, and I’ve never been too worried about girls using dudes as long as they are putting out, because shit’s usually less expensive than hiring whores.


Related Posts:

There’s No Way Kate Hudson Could Lead Anyone to Suicide
Kate Hudson Bikini Pics To Use for Comparison
Karolina Kurkova’s Ass in Intense Shorts Because She is a Supermodel
Some Rachel Hunter Bikini Pictures Because She Was a Supermodel

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Le Call|Supermodel|Unsorted

2007

21

Nov

I am – GQ Does Photoshoots of the Day

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Since it’s Thanksgiving, I’d like everyone to take a moment for our troops in Iraq who can’t be home for this really special holiday weekend and are instead fighting for our freedom. Thanks guys! I’m just joking….because Thanksgiving isn’t a real holiday. It’s more of a joke.

I don’t understand why you American assholes make such a big deal out of it. I am in Canada and we got a day off back in October, even though everyday is a day off for me. I don’t understand why you have movies about Thanksgiving weekend or 4 -5 day weekends for the shit, it’s a bigger deal than Christmas and I can only assume that the Jews are behind this shit.

Either way, I would like to give thanks to GQ for always getting hot pics and good photographers hustlin’ their magazine’s celebrity spreads and apparently they hired a magician or some kind of tribal miracle worker because Hayden Panettiere actually looks good enough to stop trying to convince to join my DrunkenStepfather carnival and watch shower instead. I am hoping she doesn’t get the wrong idea and think she actually looks like she does in these pics, even though we can all agree we wish her actual self will turn into her picture-self, because that’s just going to be fuel to the fire that is her ego that already thinks she’s the hottest troll to hit the mainstream.

They also did some sexually suggestive Rihanna pictures, but bitch is always sexually suggestive so it’ not that big of a deal, but I’ll post them anyway, because I’m accommodating like she was before she was famous, back home on the island she comes from, workin’ at resorts and whorin’ out to a lot of rich married Americans hoping that one of them would fall for her talent and give her the big break, and by big break, I mean knock her up, forcing them to marry her and bring her to America, so that she can take 5 day weekends to celebrate thanksgiving too. Because having days off for holidays that shouldn’t be holidays is all part of the American Dream.


Related Posts:

Some Miracle Worker Took These Jessica Biel GQ Bikini Pics
Rihanna Bikini Pictures
Rihanna and Her Slutty Outfit
Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures

Posted in:GQ|Hayden Panettiere|Photoshoot|Rihanna|Slutty|Unsorted

2007

21

Nov

I am – Vanessa Minnillo Still in a Bikini of the Day

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So bitch is rockin a bikini on the beaches of the Virgin Islands, which is kind of appropriate because you’re jerking off to these pics and well, let’s face it, fucking yourself doesn’t count as losing your virginity….I don’t know why I bother with the you’re a virgin jokes, they really aren’t funny but I guess funny isn’t really my thing…

The reality is that I write this site for hot chicks and if you’re reading this and not a hot chick, you’re seriously fucking up my masterplan. I figure hot chicks like celebrity shit and I don’t so it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make in attempts for getting them to fly me out to Virgin Islands or really any tropical place, including their bathrooms, because compared to the shit hole I shit in, the local gas station bathroom is luxury, to watch them frolick around in a bikini, but only because the hot chicks I am interested and who I am writing for are also rich and willing to support me.

This is all part of my hot chick brainwashing quest, because I am tired of seeing hot chicks with guys I consider losers, even though they are good looking and have money and cars and buy them nice things and treat them better than I will, because Chachi motherfuckers and their magnums of Grey Goose with their gel haired dropping jokes from some shitty movie they just saw or doing the Borat are the people who deserve to be virgins.

Either way, Here are them there pics.


Related Posts:

Vanessa Minnillo in a Bikini Yesterday
Vanessa Minnillo’s Ass Shopping
Vanessa Minnillo Fully Nude Pictures
Nick and Venessa in the Hot Tub

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Hot|Tight|Tits|Unsorted|Vanessa Minnillo