Unsorted Archives - Page 68 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

24

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Bikini of the Day

These have been out for a while. I saw them over the weekend. I thought that it was nice to see her taking a vacation from her life that is a vacation. I am not one to really talk. I may not have any money but I don’t have to get up to look at some asshole boss in the face everyday….and sometimes that’s more important than having money.

Either way, I like pregnant girls because girls generally won’t ever let me get them pregnant. That means I have never had sex with one, or had to deal with all their raging pregnancy emotions and hormonal imbalances. I am the kind of guy who girls end up banging out of confusion or depression and as their lives go on they realize that I am not worthy of dropping my seed in their womb. Even my wife told me that there was no way she would ever have my babies when we first hooked up and I thought it was the right thing to do since I was married and hated her.

Reality is that kids are kinda cool and would have distracted me from things I hated, until realizing that they were damn expensive to keep around and then I’d resent them for having to get a job that would make me face a boss everyday just to pay for their stupid designer clothes….So reality is that I may not have a legacy or a little fucker to pass all my wisdom onto, but at least I don’t have to work…

Point of all this is to say I could go off about how bitch looks like a rat-faced rodent of some sort and that she’s probably pregnant with 10 little babies in this litter, or I could go on to talk about how she’s so anorexic and now she’s not pregnant she just has a distended ethiopian stomach (it’s her heritage), I could go onto how the baby isn’t really a baby, it’s just where Good Charlotte hides their make-up and gay porn because they are fags and they don’t want that getting out…I could talk about how dumpy her ass is or how her milk filled tits are really luxurious but I am not going to do that because I would rather go out and get drunk. See ya.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Titties
Nicole Richie’s See Through Maternity Slutwear
Nicole Richie is Pregant!!!!

2007

24

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie's Pregnant Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

These have been out for a while. I saw them over the weekend. I thought that it was nice to see her taking a vacation from her life that is a vacation. I am not one to really talk. I may not have any money but I don’t have to get up to look at some asshole boss in the face everyday….and sometimes that’s more important than having money.

Either way, I like pregnant girls because girls generally won’t ever let me get them pregnant. That means I have never had sex with one, or had to deal with all their raging pregnancy emotions and hormonal imbalances. I am the kind of guy who girls end up banging out of confusion or depression and as their lives go on they realize that I am not worthy of dropping my seed in their womb. Even my wife told me that there was no way she would ever have my babies when we first hooked up and I thought it was the right thing to do since I was married and hated her.

Reality is that kids are kinda cool and would have distracted me from things I hated, until realizing that they were damn expensive to keep around and then I’d resent them for having to get a job that would make me face a boss everyday just to pay for their stupid designer clothes….So reality is that I may not have a legacy or a little fucker to pass all my wisdom onto, but at least I don’t have to work…

Point of all this is to say I could go off about how bitch looks like a rat-faced rodent of some sort and that she’s probably pregnant with 10 little babies in this litter, or I could go on to talk about how she’s so anorexic and now she’s not pregnant she just has a distended ethiopian stomach (it’s her heritage), I could go onto how the baby isn’t really a baby, it’s just where Good Charlotte hides their make-up and gay porn because they are fags and they don’t want that getting out…I could talk about how dumpy her ass is or how her milk filled tits are really luxurious but I am not going to do that because I would rather go out and get drunk. See ya.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Titties
Nicole Richie’s See Through Maternity Slutwear
Nicole Richie is Pregant!!!!

2007

24

Sep

I am – Miley Cyrus is Pregnant of the Day

2 Comments »

So a little life lesson for all you teenagers or parents of teenagers out there is that if you or your daughter dresses like this in public it’s just a matter of time before you’ll be driving her to the STD clinic and the Abortion Clinic because no matter what people say, suggestive clothing breeds slutty girls and more and more girls are dressing sluttier and sluttier every year, which is good on the eyes but also good for Abortion Clinic doctors and Birth Control Pill Manufacturers….

Miley Cyrus is reportedly knocked up and keeping the baby, she is 15 years old and although 15 year old pregnant chicks is a scary fucking thought, I don’t think that it’s trashy. When I was 15, I was fucking without condoms on or birth control pills. Shit just felt good and I was too excited to bust not to bother thinking of the consequences. Reality is that I couldn’t really have ever knocked up the women I was involved with though, because they hadn’t gotten their periods yet or they were already too old to get pregnant. I kinda like rollin’ on both ends of the spectrum….

Either way, like a good Christian country girl, she is going to keep it and I say that if God made her fertile enough to get pregnant in the first place, then she’s obviously got no choice in the matter. I was sitting on a park bench the other day and I saw a group of 15 year old girls playing with a ball. I thought to myself for a split second that these girls have gone through the bulk of puberty. There bodies won’t be changing all that much more, they have their tits, they have their hips, they have their periods, but they still like playing with balls in the park….meaning sometimes your body moves a little quicker than your brain does, let’s just call this one of those moments…because having a baby is going to suck for her. I can safely say that Billy Ray and his Achy Breaky Heart will be the acting parent in the situation.

Related Posts:

Christina Aguilera Pregnancy Nipples
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant TIts
Alena Seredova Is Pregnant on the Runway

2007

24

Sep

I am – Margaret Cho Nipple Tassle Dance of the Day

10 Comments »

If you are into washed up, overweight Korean lesbians, than you are probably into Margaret Cho. I knew a fag who used to be obsessed with this bitch and would constantly put on her video whenever I was over, so I can only assume that he did that when other people were over too. This guy lived and breathed Margaret Cho and constantly dropped her jokes in any social situation. We weren’t friends for long, he just always hooked me up with drugs, but that Magaret Cho shit just pushed me away, because no free drug was ever strong enough to mute her voice in my head…I think I used to even have dreams of her fat face imitating her Korean parents.

I assume that her act is suffering, because here’s a video of her doing some Nipple Tassel dance.

Related Posts:

Nicole Schrezinger’s Nipple in Her Video
Beyonce Tit Flash on Stage
Dita Von Tease Performing with Nipple Tassles

2007

24

Sep

I am – Meg White Sex Tape of the Day

1 Comment »

I am a little slow moving today with the whole being hung over and having a site that crashes more than Lohan driving drunk and high in her benz, but who really needs to be fast on this Meg White sex tape shit. Bitch is a fucking pig and always left me feeling uneasy. I never found her hot, so watching her get fucked isn’t really hot either. The only time I would want to see her get fucked is on stage by her brother, but that’s just because I am convinced they bang. Otherwise why would he let her in his band? You never do see the dude in the videos face…That said, who really knows if this is even Meg White, I don’t think anyone has looked at her long enough to know what she looks like, they just see a brunette fat chick and assume….

Either way, she’s a bad lay but takes the load inside her like any self-respecting woman should, provided she’s into STDs and unwanted pregnancy….which I am but only because there’s just something exciting about waiting it out for the month in uncertainty. You know that excitement that hits when your girl tells you she’s got her period, even though that only lasts about 3 minutes until you realize that she’s probably not going to let you fuck her for the next week, unless you have a cool chick who’s into period sex and you don’t mind the mess.

Speaking of mess, here’s that video, listen to her pant, then fuck yourself. Sicko.

I am – Paris Does Montreal of the Day

6 Comments »

I found out that Paris was going to be hitting up some ChaChi bar in Montreal about a week ago. I thought it would be funny to get myself into the event even though it’s not that funny. So I tried contacting the club involved. They wanted nothing to do with me or the website so I had to think of alternative options….

I was given Paris’ number a long time ago and we used to have a little dialog going. Unfortunately her number was released on the internet and she changed the shit. So I was stuck with Stavros’ number. Now if you don’t know who Stavros is, he is the fuckin’ man. He has banged anyone famous you can think of, from Petra Nemcova, to Lohan to one of the Olsen twins – so I decided to reach out to him…

Now, Stavros has been in my phone for a while, and I constantly send him text messages and he responds. I never understood why, becauseI have told him that I am from drunkenstepfather, and he always seems to ignore what I say. I had no idea how to get into this shit, so I asked him an he put me on the list. He was under the impression that I was his boy MIchael Perez and I just rode that shit home. So as he told me that I was on the list, and I’d ask him under what name and he told me Michael Perez, I just went along with it…

When I got to the club I told them that I was this Michael Perez motherfucker and they didn’t have me on the list, so I wrote Stavros a CURT text message saying that I was gettin dicked around. The dude was wearing overalls and no shirt and made me feel uncomfortable…Within about 15 minutes the owners of the club found me in the group of 100s of people, apologized and brought me inside like I was important, even though I hadn’t showered and was wearing ratty clothes. I was on Paris’ list and they thought I was some Michael Perez motherfucker who was important for whatever reason. I got to the bar, thought it was hysterical cuz everyone in there was showered and good looking, drank as much as I could afford and waited for the night to end. I fell down the stairs to the bathroom and I was rejected when trying to get into Paris’ VIP area, by Paris Hilton. The security dude brought her my cell phone where all the Stavros messages went down, and she looked at it and said that I could join her stupid dance circle.

The whole epxerience was fucking jokes and I kept laughing. I met some black chick who liked roses and some blond chick who thought I was bored and I just drove that shit home

I think the highlight of the night was watching a whole club zone in on Paris and watch her every move. Bitch would dance and everyone in the place would clap like she was Barney. The whole place was focused 100 percent on her. I guess they didn’t notice how handsome I looked.

When I was leaving, I was told Paris hadn’t left, so I waited around to let her know who I was. Not that it got me invited to her hotel room, but it was still funny, and that is the video you see. I will deny that being my voice because the asshole in it sounds jewish and 13, but reality is that we love Paris and Stavros and this is the proof. I am now Michael Perez and you are still an asshole.

So after all is said and done, they still don’t know what this website is or that it exists, but Paris Hilton is 100 percent worth a round, and I would be willing to get herpes for one night in her. I will be tickling my balls with the hand I shook of hers, just after I disinfect it. Paris changed my life, and I am a groupie now…I am pretty easy to win over…all I need is a little booze and some attention…CUDDLES….

UPDATE: I was fucking drunk when editing and writing this post at 5 am. I was out alone and stealing booze off some dudes with gel in their hair’s bottle….I shoulda asked her to bring me back to her hotel to let me lick her asshole. But I forgot. I did feel like a 14 year old girl waiting around to see Paris, but I needed to get something for the site and I wasn’t about to get arrested over the shit, so this is what you get.

If you were looking for a video of me throwing my feces at her, this isn’t it. I am too nice for that. I forgot to tell her I was from Drunkenstepfather.com, I was just trying to get over my big breasted Barmaids big breasts and the fact that people actually care about Paris. Like care so much that there was a crowd outside the place. I was also trying to get over this really rich bald old guy and his entourage of 10 really hot 20 year olds who I can only assume were on Payroll, making me realize that when you have money you can have any pussy you want.

It may look like I was all lined up to meet and greet her, I was just standing outside with some dude from Afghanistan when this went down…harassing random people coming out of the club…but I barely got any of it on video because I was drunk. I did try to hustle a black girl and that was a first for me. It wasn’t a success because some male model type was handing out roses to all the girls and that made all their panties wet, if they were even wearing panties…which made the floor wet…either way, I was upstaged by him and I was only doing it because I figured she wouldn’t mind my stink.

Here’s the rest of my videos from that night I can’t embed the shit…So Click the Link…
GO

Related Posts:

Exclusive Paris Hilton Party Pictures
Paris Hilton Upskirt of the Day
Paris Hilton Academy Award Bathing Suit

2007

23

Sep

I am – Hometown Hotties Finalist Jaime of the Day

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Here’s another Hometown hottie review because I have nothing better to do with my time, like the lesbian sitting next to me with a shitty red dye job, bicycle shorts and combat boots. I guess I was right all this time, bicycle shorts are pretty fucking gay. But that’s not the point the point is that this bitch Jamie is putting herself out there, like an attention starved whore, trying to get her big break based on her looks….

Her first mistake is that she wrote she’s hooked up. I can only assume her boyfriend is some insecure bitch with a chick that he is over-protective over and the condition of her entering this contest was that she made it clear to the world that she’s not available, when in reality motherfucker should be denying any involvement with her, letting people think they have a chance with her and riding shit out to the top…because if motherfucker does that he’ll be sitting by the pool of a very nice house one day, instead of driving up to the local strip club to pick his baby momma up….because that’s where all failed models end up…not that these girls are even models, they are more like softcore pornstars because you know this isn’t leading to Sports Illustrated covers, unfortunately the girls involved don’t know that.

I get told that I am an asshole all the time, some people say I am gay for having high standards in chicks, I set the bar too high and dis even the hottest of hot. The truth is that I don’t really have any standards at all. I just am trying to give objective commentary on the site. I just like a good blowjob. I prefer looking at hot chicks naked than ugly ones.

That said, Jaime’s alright lookin, she’s got a good body, she’s got a good enough face it just looks a little rough to me. She’s not really the natural beauty who makes you hear angelic voices when she’s on all fours in your bed, but I’d still watch her shave her box in the shower, and if she was my girl, I’d even invite my friends to come watch, because I like to share the wealth….unfortunately, every time I try to pawn my wife onto my friends, they end up never talking to me again. She’s fat like that.

Related:

Check Out Jaime’s Profile

Check Out The Maxim Hometown Hotties Contest

Previous Hometown Hottie stepREVIEWs:

ERIN
LETICIA
KENDA
JUDA

Posted in:Hometown Hotties Contest|Jaime|Maxim|stepREVIEW|Unsorted

2007

23

Sep

I am – Tara Reid See-Through Shirt of the Day

2 Comments »

Since it’s Sunday and I am supposed to be in the gutter somewhere, I decided to let Julien the resident gay blogger hit up the site with a post, because otherwise I wouldn’t bother. I pretty much hate the computer and just walked down the street seeing black spots because of it, or at least I say it’s because of it, but it is probably AIDS, Liver Failure, Syphilis or any other exciting debilitating disease fat ouytof shape unhealthy drunken chain smokers get.

Speaking of AIDS, here’s Julien’s post, since it is the Gay disease after all.

I think the last thing that this site needs is photos of Tara Reid looking like a drunken whore, but here are some photos of Tera in London wearing a see-through kimono type-thingy. She looks like she is in a burlesque production of Madame Butterfly or some shit.

Anyway, you can almost see her busted tits, so I figured that the three prepubescent boys who read this site will be all over it. I love how she tries to class things up a little, you know going out and getting shit-faced in London instead of LA. What the hell is she even doing outside of California. Itâ€™s not like sheâ€™s filming the new Indiana Jones movie or somethingâ€¦it’s not likely that she’ll ever film a new movie.

Itâ€™s good to see olâ€™ Puff-face out and about again, you know with Lindsay in rehab, Brit all concerned with her kids and Paris apparently acting like a saint, I was afraid that the older generation of party whores would have to step down and make way for Hayden and company. But itâ€™s nice to see Tara being the drunken workhorse that she is. Sheâ€™s like a Ford truck, an American institution.

-Smooch!
Julien

If I hated gay people as much as I pretend to, I’d never let one write for me, so all you gay activists reading don’t send me hate mail about AIDS being a gay disease. It’s a proven fact that it is. I am just in shock that Julien didn’t talk about the fag that Tara is getting fucked up with. I guess it really doesn’t matter….Here are the pics.

Related Posts:

Tara Reid’s Old Man Ass in a Bikini Pictures
Tara Reid in a Bikini Pictures
Tara Reid Takes Her Tits for a Walk Pictures
Tara Reid in Short Shorts on the Beach Pictures”

Posted in:Drunk|See Through|Tara Reid|Unsorted

2007

22

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

I missed the links yesterday because I was too busy having good times while rockin’ the flu. Nothing really happened but it was hot outside and I didn’t feel like being in the house. My wife was being annoying and despite wanting to divorce her I realize I have no where else to really go, so instead I take to the streets.

I heard that Paris Hilton was in town so I was stalking hotels and bars and all that shit, but didn’t come across anything. It was made official that she came in today. I wish I had more notice because I would have tried to set up a dinner with her, but after realizing that she probably has no idea who I am and that if by some weird fucking coincidence that she did know who I was, taking me out to dinner would be the last thing she’d be willing to do. If any of you know her, get her to give me a call.

Here are my links, a day late but always the best link dump on the internet. Hands fucking down.

Nicole Richie on the Beach in a BIkini and Pregnant…
GO

Some Amazing Maxim Asses Video
GO

Guess the Celebrity Thong
GO

Avril Lavigne Acting Like a Retard on her Birthday
GO

Megan Felix is some Chick from Portland Who is Half Naked
GO

Some Girl in a Thong Farts in Her Sister’s Face Video
GO

Funny Hot Chick Stripping Video
GO

Kate Moss Slutting Out in the White Stripes Video
GO

Monica Bellucci Topless on a Yacht
GO

Monica Bellucci Naked in Dracula Video
GO

Christina Aguilera Takes Her Tits on a Walk
GO

Jordan Flashing Her Ass to the Camera
GO

Some Crazy OJ Fan…VIdeo
GO

Cassandra Jean is Trying to Be Miss Ripe and She’s Lookin’ Alright…
GO

Bianca Beauchamp Is a Montreal Fetish Model Posing
GO

Two Girls Get a Little Sleazy in a Reality TV Show Confession Booth
GO

Some Woman Gets Tasered Multiple Times in Ohio Video
GO

Some Hot Spanish Site With Lots of Porn, Amateur Chicks, I don’t Read Spanish, But I Don’t Need To to Spot Titties…
GO

Some Photobucket Nudity For You TO Love
GO

A Very Brady Lesbian Scandal
GO

2 Chicks Named Sam and Amanda Re-Do Barbie Girl Video
GO

Some Insanely Fast Undressing
GO

A Lot of Pics of Dannii Minogue in a Bikini Getting Wet
GO

Here’s a Video Of the Sexual Positions of Lesbians Making the Rounds….
GO

Some Kid Tells His Mom He’s Atheist and Doesn’t Believe in God and His Mom Freaks Out…
GO

Some Mariah Carey Has Big Tits Pictures
GO

Some Teen Slut Article With MP3s I Don’t Know Why I am Linking…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

More on Kim Kardashian in Playboy
GO

Hot Bikini Model Playing With a Balloon Video
GO

Some Weightlifting Chick Can’t Handle the Weight
GO

Some Chick Named April Verie in Some Hot Video of One of Her Half Naked Photoshoots
GO

Sharon Osborne Talks About Sex With Ozzy and It’s Really Fuckin’ Hot
GO

Britney Is Going Back to Rehab
GO

Salma Hayek Has Her Baby Say Goodbye To Them Tits…
GO

George Clooney Had a Motorcycle Accident With His Girlfriend…He Lived..
GO

Some Bum Fights an Invisible Person
GO

Some Chick Named Amy Reid Posing and Showing Off Her Tits
GO

Tori Spelling to be a Guest Pusscat Doll…Great…
GO

Britney Spears May Go to Jail
GO

Some Plane Takes Off Then Lands Right Away Video…
GO

Some Photographer Violently Head Butts Some Pop Star You’ve Never Heard Of
GO

Donald Trump and His Bitches
GO

Some Girl Gets Double FIsted and It’s Disgusting
GO

Some Imogen Tomas From Big Brother Posing in Lingerie Video
GO

Courtney Love’s Daughter Francis Bean and Demi Moore’s Daughter Tallulah Belle Underage and Rockin’ Out
GO

Some Hot Bikini Model in a Black Bikini Showing Off her Body
GO

Some Jamie Lynn Spears Out At Some Event in a Short Skirt
GO

Some Protesting Chick Gets Brought Down With a Fire Hose
GO

Download Old Eminem EP – Straight From the Lab
GO

Download Old Eminem – Freestyle Manual
GO

Some Chick’s Stolen Nude Pics
GO

Another Girls Self Shot Pics
GO

Some Chick Going Crazy on Webcam Masturbating
GO

Check Out Big Boobs Alert Site
GO

Some Dude Cums Inside a Girl and She Freaks Out…NSFW
GO

Some Underwater Porn Clips….NSFW
GO

NN Latin Teen Scores a 72 but the Chicks are Cute
GO

Use This Spray to Get Laid
GO

Find Some Pussy in Your Hometown…
GO

Bonus:

Here’s a Lesbian Video For You to Watch – Pervert
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

22

Sep

I am – Katie Price Showing Off Her Panties of the Day

No Comments »

So Marie Eve stopped posting on the site about a week or two ago and she took her gay blogger with her. I figured that it didn’t really matter because no one came into read the site anyway, so I could do a good enough job running it into the ground on my own. What I didn’t realize is that I like to be lazy and being lazy makes posting shit fucking hard so there help was really more of a way for me to do better things with my time than sit in front of a computer talking shit about celebrities and myself, because no one wants to read about some guy and how much he sucks. They want to read about how fucking awesome they are and I just never really come across as being awesome. So I am going to work on that….

I got an email for Julien the gay blogger with the gay erotica that my closet case reader who constantly emails me asking for more Julien loves and I figured I’d give him a second chance, only this time it’s to work the weekend shift. Here’s what he had to say about Jordan aka Katie Price….and his other gay escapades…

Hey sweethearts, I’m back. Jesus, in all his wisdom decided that I should be segregated to post only on the weekends. So I guess that I’m the “Last Call with Carson Daily” to his “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”. No, wait, that doesn’t work because there is no way that Jesus is Conan, he’s actually more like Jimmy Kimmel and I guess that makes me whatever the fuck follows Jimmy Kimmel…ok fuck it this analogy sucks. Whatever, I’m not complaining, at least this gives me a distraction from my ever increasing drug habit and my desperate attempts to convince guys to fuck me. Speaking of which, I was at this bar the other night and I was clearly the only fag there. I mean there were a whole bunch of repressed “straight” assholes, but I don’t have time for them. I was going to leave and try to find a good after party when in walks this really hot fellow homosexual. And when I say hot I mean capital H HOT! When I laid eyes on him, my asshole skipped a beat.

So I waltz my way up to him and just start talking. I mean I figure I have a sure thing here because this is straight bar and he has no other options. So we get to talking and blah blah blah and after a while my buzz is wearing off but I’ve still go this raging boner for this guy. And he’s totally giving me all the right signals, eye contact, touching of the shoulder etc etc. So we are talking about The Family Guy and I go “Do you want to come back to my place and watch it? I have all the DVDs and live up the street” and he looks at me and goes, “No thanks, I’m going to leave with my girlfriend.” And he walks away. What a fucking loser. I mean this guy was clearly a flaming homosexual and he’s has a “girlfriend”? I mean this guy made Zac Ephron look like fucking He-Man. I’m sure he demands that his girlfriend puts on a strap-on every night. Whatever, I have no time for that fucking loser. I mean, if he’s not out, it probably means he can’t fuck for shit anyway.

Speaking of homosexuals, here is Jordan aka Katie Price flashing her shit with her “husband”. This is guy is so fucking gay, he’s deeper in the closet than a winter jacket in July.I’m sure Jordan is flashing her panties for the world. Probably because she is so deseperate for some guy to fuck her she’s trying to give it away. Actually, now that I see them together, I’m thinking that he’s actually not in the closet but an out and proud gay man and he has just mistaken Jordan for a drag queen.

Smooch!
Julian

Related Posts:

Jordan’s Husband in Make-Up Cuz He’s Gay Pics
Jordan Topless on the Beach Pics
Jordan’s Pregnancy Walk Pictures
Jordan Pregnant Bikini Pics

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Panties|Unsorted

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