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Archive for the Video Category

2008

01

Jul

Some Mom Shakes Her Ass While Her 4 Year Old Films It of the Day

10 Comments »

It’s a shitty fucking day today, not only did my computer break this weekend out of nowhere and deleted all my files that I have been trying to figure out how to restore all while not understanding geek shit, but the rest of Canada is enjoying their day off because they are celebrating Canada Day which is like Independence Day but 4 days earlier and with a lot less shootings. So all these fuckers are out there celebrating their weird country drinking beer, fucking beavers (the animal not the vagina) and singing the national anthem in honor of Avril Lavigne, Sum 41, Pam Anderson, Mike Myers and all other Canadian celebrities while I sit here watching a video emailed to me claiming to be a mom doing a booty dance while her little kid films her.

I don’t know much, but I do know good parentling and starting your kid up young for a lucrative career is smart, making all the post traumatic flashbacks he gets when he’s a little older and girls he’s banging try to give him a little dance show of their own and all dude sees is the images you see in the video, worth it. Listen to it with the sound on…

Posted in:Bootyshake|Video

2008

10

Jun

Mariah Carey is in a Bikini for Her New Video of the Day

5 Comments »

Mariah Carey is in a Bikini in her new video. These are the pictures. I would write more, but what’s the fuckin’ point. Sometimes things just are what they are and the only thing we can laugh about is how much she looks like a character from Planet of the Apes or some shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Mariah Carey|Video

2008

03

Jun

Miley Cyrus is Out of Control on the Set of her New Video of the Day

21 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Miley Cyrus on set for her new music video because despite being an annoying cunt, she apparently has some kind of successful music career. I like to think that she’s smashing these guitars making some kind of statement about how when you make over-produced garbage, you don’t need guitars, but realized that she’s probably just trying to show the world how rock and roll she while making sex faces. It’s like the time I stuck my finger in my ass and smeared it on some bitch’s face because she wouldn’t have sex with me, the smell was probably similar to the smell of Miley’s boyfriend and by boyfriend I mean father’s dick after he’s done with her achy breaky ass because she’s too young to lose her vagina virginity God’s outdated rules just don’t seem to doesn’t understand.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Out of Control|Video

2008

16

May

Tatu Naked in Their Video of the Day

5 Comments »

Tatu are those Russian pop stars from awhile ago who decided to dyke out on stage to gain popularity and escape the iron fist of communist rule. I was hanging with a couple ugly Jewish girls who I met at the bar I was at last night and the fat one seemed pretty horny. She kept talking about how she’s never eat pussy but would and then went on and on about how good she is at suckin’ dick. She was trying to piss off her ex-boyfriend by acting flirty with me. I would have never gone for it because despite not having standards, I just wasn’t feelin her desperation for cock and that coupled with her busted face and body grossed me out. It turned out that these two girls were cousins and I thought it would be funny that while in their drunken state, I made them make out with each other since they were already pretty touchy feely. They were about to bite before realizing all the levels of wrong that touched on and instead called me a sick fuck and avoided me the rest of the night.

Either way, this is their new video where one of them gets naked.

Posted in:Naked|Tatu|Video

2008

08

May

Olivia Munn Talks About Taking Off Her Panties and Fuckin’ of the Day

8 Comments »

I am being lazy today. It happens. I am not inspired from anything going on and I only woke up at noon. That’s the luxury of being an unemployed piece of shit who drinks too fucking much and stays up until all hours of the night trying to find love.

This video came my way from Complex magazine, the same people who featured me as one of the Men of 2008, which hasn’t done much for me but has given me credibilty in the shit that I write so that people send me hate mail, I have that stamp approval to win all arguments and until the person I am battling is man of the year too, I just can’t take them seriously.

Speaking of battling, here’s some video of Olivia Munn beat boxing like she was a brother in the 80s who couldn’t afford a boombox but needed to provide a beat for her rapping friends only she’s doing it 20 years too late. I fuckin’ hate beat boxing with a passion and find it completely unnecessary and on the same level of talent as a 5 year old who can burp the alphabet or my wife who can make fart sounds with her bare sticky back when she suctions it up against the wall.

Either way, she’s talking about panties and fucking and smelly pussy and that’s every virgin loser who likes comics, videogames and masturbating’s dream.

Go to Complex.com to Find Other Hot Videos

Posted in:Olivia Munn|Video

2008

15

Apr

2004 Hometown Hottie Brittany Lee Gets Her First Big Job Being a Slut of the Day

4 Comments »

This is a Maxim Hometown Hottie winner from 2004 named Brittany Lee doing some “modeling” work for Hustler Lingerie and by modeling work I mean showing off her retarded fake tits for their photoshoot because every other stripper was too busy giving lap dances to make the appearance and none of the other strippers have the prestigious Maxim Hometown Hottie title to go with their fake tits, so Brittany Lee was pretty much the only choice.

I always made fun of the Maxim Hometown Hottie contest, not because I think Maxim is a piece of shit magazine, but because the girls in in are pieces of shit. I think all these hometown hottie girls grew up with dreams about being a Maxim covergirl as they jealously watched their boyfriend’s flip the pages of Maxim. Then one day, they noticed that Maxim offers everyday hot chicks the chance to be in the magazine and they get all excited with the hope that they will make it into the shit, it will be their big break and important people will find them and offer them work. They will be famous and they’ll get half naked to make the world see just how great they are.

What you end up having is a bunch of attention craving sluts going up against each other to win the championship of attention craving sluts delusional about how important to the world they are and convinced it will lead to bigger things.

I guess that concept is pretty genius on Maxim’s part and deserves a high five for finding willing, free and slutty half naked girls to feature, but unfortunately for the girls, the second the issue comes out, everyone forgets who they are because no one remembers a slut’s name, they just aren’t that important, but if their tits are big enough they can land classy work modeling Hustler Lingerie. I guess the next step for this Brittany Lee bitch’s career is the Heidi Montag Heidiwood catalog…or the gutter..which ever comes first.

Posted in:Hometown Hottie|Hustler Lingerie|Maxim|Video

2008

02

Apr

Dita Von Teese Lesbian Sex Tape of the Day

31 Comments »

Here’s a video that’s surfaced, but is probably from a while ago, of Dita Von Teese dyking out on video with a strap on. I hate Dita Von Teese, she does tame bullshit burlesque shit and looks like a vampire from the 1800s and that makes me feel uncomfortable because all I keep thinking is that bitch doesn’t wash, has the plague and shit’s in a chamber pot in her brothel boudoir or some shit.

I don’t know if this is news because I feel like I’ve seen her pussy before but blocked it out of my mind because I knew she was fucking Marilyn Manson. I remember she did Playboy and was internet famous before her celebrity really hit and now you can watch her rockin a strap on because lesbians may not be cool enough to fuck you, but when they let you watch them go at it, they are are better than all the other girls who don’t fuck you and unfortunately a hell of a lot better lookin than the lesbians I know who want to rip my dick off in some kind of victorious win for women everywhere, but that’s not really saying much because those lesbians are taking male hormones and have hair on their chests and clits the size of a really small penis. True story.

Here’s the Article
GO

Posted in:Dita Von Teese|Lesbian|Porn|Sex Tape|Video

2007

23

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere’s GQ Photoshoot Video of the Day

1 Comment »

So I’ve been celebrating a holiday I am not allowed to celebrate because I am not American, and drinking is my kind of protest, but I also like making excuses about why I am drinking at 6 am on someone’s couch with a dude who has webbed toes, like he was some kind of Hayden Panettiere circus performing freak, except that he’s more attractive than she is, because he can hide his creepy disorders in a pair of fuckin’ socks, while she’s wearing that shit on her sleeve everytime she leaves the house and starts juggling.

This is the video of her photoshoot for GQ that was probably the hottest she’s ever looked.


Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere Hot GQ Photoshoot
Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt
Hayden Panettiere is Ugly

Posted in:GQ|Hayden Panettiere|Photoshoot|Unsorted|Video

2007

02

Nov

I am – Paris Hilton Getting Mad at a Sex Shop for Having her Posters Up of the Day

1 Comment »

This story hit at some point last week. Paris was at some sex shop in Toronto and she demanded they take down her posters because they are disgusting and threatened to call the cops and her lawyer. You know what’s disgusting? The fact that you let that loser videotape your bad sex, only to sell the shit and make a lot of money off it. I am guessing she thought that shit would have died down, since the sex tape is almost 10 years old, so when she did it, it all made sense and helped launch her career and isn’t happy that her dirty little past is still following her around. I am only posting this because it just landed in my inbox and I thought it was pretty fucking ridiculous.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Porn Shop|Sex Tape|Unsorted|Video

2007

05

Oct

I am – Britney's New Video Gimme More Leak of the Day

No Comments »

The only leak I expect coming from Britney was one that came from her rancid vagina or maybe even her asshole that she’s lost complete control of since the babies, not because she’s got a medical issue, but because she’s lazy.

So as the number 1 song in America right now, this new video is a big deal, almost as big of a deal to the world as her going to rehab, losing her kids but getting visitation rights, or that she got her driver’s license on Tuesday but refused to do a drug test and some dude’s shopping around her sex tape….

Reality is that we really shouldn’t give a fuck about this mess, but I know that whenever you hit up a club and this shit drops, every girl in the place is going to slut dance, and despite having no respect for club sluts, I got no issue with watching them dance around or cumming on their faces or at least pretending that I am cumming on their faces when I in reality I am just creepin’ out in the corner cuz I am really just too drunk to walk.

Here’s the video.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Gimme More|Leak|Unsorted|Video