DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

07

Feb

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

Whenever I see flashing lights outside my house, even though I don’t do anything illegal, I always think the cops are going to break down my door and come after me. I don’t think it’s narcissism – I think it’s just some weird paranoia that I am going to be inconvenienced in my night of drinking on my soiled couch….where I’ll have to put on a shirt and pants and deal with the whole legal system…

Last night, the old lady in the apartment down the hall from me slipping on ice, the ambulance came to save her…and I saw the lights, turned off all my lights and spent an hour in the fucking closest..hoping to not get caught….something I am sure anyone visiting this site knows all too much about…but you’re in a different kind of closet.

My life is far less exciting than when I’d leave the house to try to get girls to flash me their tits…but with this computer…tits are everywhere….and it’s cold out there…

Here are some morning links…

Goldie Hawn – Grandma Porn…
CLICK HERE

Quentin Tarantino on that Uma Car Crash
CLICK HERE

Eagles Quarterback Proposed After Superbowl Win
CLICK HERE

In case you Missed it – That UMA Car Crash
CLICK HERE

The CEO of Pepsi – A Woman – Getting Hate for Saying Doritos are for Dudes
CLICK HERE

This Slackline Wedding is Just Dumb as Fuck
CLICK HERE

Pam Anderson in a Short Skirt
CLICK HERE

Sarah Silverman is No Longer Kate Beckinsale’s Hot Daughter’s StepMom
CLICK HERE

Newsweek Raided for Serving Video Ads on BOT Traffic, something ALL the big Publishers Do and Make Millions Doing…
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2018

06

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

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People sometimes ask me how I became such an important internet entrepreneur with this whole blog like a 12 year old girl about celebs I don’t care about for very little money because I am an idiot who won’t jump into porn, or the mainstream and just sort of exist…

And I always say that it all started with a girl who worked at a shoe store – who asked me if I could sell her dirty panties online for her – in an era when no one sold dirty panties – and that I agreed to do to be around the dirty panties – only to find out the dirty panties I was being provided was glue stick and tuna water soaked…..and not actually worn….but more importantly…that ebay in 1999 didn’t like dirty panty vendors….

LOOK AT ME NOW…a REAL SUCCESS STORY…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Lohan Reciting her Favorite Lines from Mean Girls – Cuz She Milks This Show Hard
CLICK HERE

Tarantino Said Polanski isn’t a Rapist – it was Consensual…
CLICK HERE

127 Pound Woman Eats 501 Wings
CLICK HERE

Maitland Ward Nipple
CLICK HERE

Girl in a Bikini of the Day
CLICK HERE

Jerking Off to Posh Spice Nipples
CLICK HERE

Selena Gomez pays A Lot for Rehab – She’s Real Crazy
CLICK HERE

Taylor Swift Spent 50 Million Dollars on Apartments in NYC
CLICK HERE

Uma Thurman’s Kill Bill Car Crash
CLICK HERE

Vandal Caught on Camera
CLICK HERE

Kyle Jenners Kid is Named
CLICK HERE

Saoirse Ronan – Cleavage
CLICK HERE

Ashley Graham in Bikinis with her Fat Mom
CLICK HERE

Rose McGowan Fighting with the Trans Woman
CLICK HERE

White Man Tricks Locals Speaking HINDI
CLICK HERE

Katy Perry Says I Kissed a Girl Would Have Different Lyrics if Written Today Cuz She’s a Trend Chasing Pile of Shit
CLICK HERE

J.Lo in GUESS Ads for Rapist Marciano…
CLICK HERE

Amber Rose Looking Rough
CLICK HERE

ROBOT PENCIL PRINTER
CLICK HERE

Daredevil Slackline Wedding
CLICK HERE

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From the Forum

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Lily Rose Depp at the Airport
CLICK HERE

Lucy Watson Leather Skirt…
CLICK HERE

Emmy Rossum in a Dress
CLICK HERE

Jaime King – Old Heroin Addict
CLICK HERE

Paris Hilton at an Event
CLICK HERE

Sarah Hyland Almost Looking Hot at the Gym
CLICK HERE

Madison Beer of the Day
CLICK HERE

Victoria Beckham Nipples
CLICK HERE

Sarah Hyland ALmost hot in Leggings
CLICK HERE

Megan Fox Old Lady in Slippers
CLICK HERE

Francesca Eastwood is HOT
CLICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!!

(LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!)
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Random Tumblr Porn of the DAy
CLICK HERE

JERK OFF BETTER!
CLICK HERE

FAT NAKED BITCH
CLICK HERE

Nude Photography of the Day
CLICK HERE

Cam Girl Doesn’t Care That Her Mom is in the Room
CLICK HERE

Some Big Titties
CLICK HERE

19 Year Old Tide Pod Eater / Meth Head
CLICK HERE

Weird Public Pussy Eating at an Event
CLICK HERE

Topless Firefighter – Looks Legit
CLICK HERE

2 Girls 1 Dildo
CLICK HERE

TOOLS TO HELP YOU JERK OFF !
CLICK HERE

Titty Model and her Polaroids
CLICK HERE

Horny Fat Teen
CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Be Tough. Wear Bullets!
DON’T CLICK HERE

Find More Great Links Here….
DON’T CLICK HERE

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FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR | SNAPCHAT

Follow My SFW CAM GIRL Youtube Channel
CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Posted in:stepLINKS

2018

06

Feb

Barbara Palvin Legs of the Day

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Barbara Palvin once a patsy for the people at Victoria’s Secret to avoid a scandal involving Miranda Kerr fucking Bieber after their bullshit infomercial all you idiots buy into….

Now ousted by Victoria’s Secret for whatever reason, and really she may even still work at Victoria’s Secret, I don’t keep track of that brothel or the sex workers they’ve hired….I just post shit as it comes in….

Still willing to get in lingerie, because as an 18 year old Hungarian she knew the sacrifices she had to make to get out of that Cold War era bunker she lived in, and will continue that struggle….of getting into lingerie…which isn’t really a struggle…but let these girls think their work matters…

This time for GQ Portugal…not offical GQ…but it counts…they license the same logo…you know and I’m sure people in Brazil read it…cuz of the Portuguese…assuming people anywhere still read magazines…

Posted in:Barbara Palvin|SFW

2018

06

Feb

Kate Upton Fat Girl in SHORTS of the Day

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Kate Upton, in fascinating Kate Upton news, was actually raised in Florida, which makes her story all the more trashy, despite having a grandfather who invented WHIRLPOOL appliances…her father was a high school gym teacher, and she spent her days riding horses, before she was too heavy for the sport…because that’s what rich WASPs do….

She was originally found at a Casting call in Miami, and moved to NEW YORK, where at 18 she was the face of GUESS?, her first international campaign before Marciano sold her off to SI, because they do have a partnership GUESS? and SI and work together on building out the celebrity of these models to make them a bigger deal…and now…she’s not only showing off her weird chubby awkward shaped body in short…but she’s also calling out Marciano…THE MAN WHO MADE HER CAREER…a sexual predator…because I guess a young, dumb, eager Kate Upton…motorboated his ass and has been able to LIVE the fucking dream because of it.

I am not all for sexual predators, but to call out the man who bascially gave you the life she lives, there would be no SI, No Champion Pitcher Husband, she’d be working at hooters…I mean except for her starting out rich…but you know what I mean…if you sell your soul to the devil you can’t get mad at the devil…but you can put on shorts and creep us all out.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Here she is in pink leggings – because why not…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2018

06

Feb

Natalie Portman in a Magazine of the Day

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Natalie Portman is the Jewish icon to Jewish men everywhere – because she’s hot – and they look at her as a beacon of hope that their Jewish wife they are forced to marry – unless they get a non Jewish girl to convert – will look like this….and not like their accountant…you know how these things work…

I saw her NATALIE PORTMAN RAP that went VIRAL…and now I am seeing her getting butt fucked by a YOGA ball…I guess her Israeli army training has taught her versatility…not that she did the army, she was too famous for that, she’s no Gal Gadot mooch, she’s legit especially to the Star Wars Nerds who chronically masturbate to her even though she’s pretty much 40 years old.

Posted in:Natalie Portman|SFW

2018

06

Feb

Caitlin Stasey Pussy of the Day

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Caitlin Stasey is some Australian on some show called Neighbors, that has been on TV for 50 years or more, that has created Kylie Minogue and other idiots possibly including Margot ROBBIE, Fat Amy, Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Melissa Joan Hart and whoever the fuck else is from AUSTRALIA polluting our lives in NORTH AMERICA, like the THIEVING pieces of shit they were bred to be….Australians…

This one, along with her trashy accent, her constant willingness to flash her tits on her feed for attention, has gone out there and posted her pussy lips to her 240k fans…because SHE IS AUSTRALIAN…and Australian women are the right level of trashy, willing to get drunk and fuck and this one I guess is trying to make a name for herself – with her pussy – I am a fan.

I don’t know if this is actual pussy, but it looks like it probably is….on the right….if that’s not pussy skin…I don’t know pussy skin.

Posted in:Caitlin Stasey

2018

06

Feb

Demi Lovato Tits of the Day

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Demi Lovato understands marketing, or her team of people do….because these titty pics she posted over the weekend got 1.6 million likes, while her regular posts that aren’t sexual get 1 million – 1.2 million likes…you see it’s SCIENTIFIC….tits get hits…

I know she pulled this bullshit about being a feminist, activist, body positive….but that quickly turned into fitness whore, half naked with them titties out, and she’s running with this angle or strategy..and since you like celebrity tits…even if you’re like me and hate celebs…it makes for a great tit filled time…not that this is that hot, but it happened.

Posted in:Demi Lovato|SFW

2018

06

Feb

Alexandra Smelova Naked of the Day

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Alexandra Smelova is the nude model of the day, because I realize there are more girls getting nude in photoshoots for fun, than there are girls getting nude for photoshoots that are paid, and often times the nude photoshoots that are for fun, are with girls a lot more interesting than girls who would get paid to get nude….

She’s from Russia, which is exactly where you’d want a model like this to be from, so that you could offer to buy her for a green card, provided her boyfriend isn’t some rich Russian mobster gangster rigging your election or doping the olympics, because the Russians are ruthless people with hot chicks like this to keep them all rewarded….

Posted in:Alexandra Smelova

2018

06

Feb

Bethenny Frankel is an Old Lady in a Bikini of the Day

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Bethenny Frankel has been a very rich reality star for a very long time…but she’s also been a fucking zombie who likes to get into a bikini to show off her fake tits as these women do…I mean why else buy yourself a set of tits…right…RIGHT….

The funniest thing about her, is that her entire existence is based on a series of bikini paparazzi pics, that’s all I’ve seen her do the last few years since her Housewives shit ended.

She has one of those hard looking faces that you just can’t quite figure out how she ended up on TV, but who cares about an old lady’s hard face, when she’s got a skinny body , and really she made her money off producing a product line of SKINNY GIRL booze, for the skinny girls to get drunk, the way you like them…so it’s nice to see her keeping it up…

It means she’s passionate about SKINNY, no room for the fat….so for that we celebrate a leader in SKINNY…even if she looks like a ZOMBIE…

Posted in:Bethany Frankel

2018

06

Feb

Solid and Stripe Bikini Company Swim Team Campaign with Lots of Models of the Day

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Hailey Clauson, Lily Aldridge, Jessica Hart, Carolyn Murphy, Jourdan Dunn, Eniko Mihalik, Elsa Hosk, Natasha Poly, Toni Garrn, Josephine Skriver, Barbara Palvin, Isabeli Fontana, Hannah Ferguson – all got together for what I assume is a Sports Illustrated campaign for a bikini company, and all got into their bikinis, to do bikini modeling, in a world where everyone at least on social media seem to be in bikinis at all time, and everyone seem to be bikini models in their own right, so that we don’t need these overpaid peopled doing these overpaid shoots….because you can capture it on the iphone…

Which I guess is why Solid and Stripes was able to afford all these models – private plane to the beaches – because all these motherfucking instagram girls are eating up their bikinis all day…I mean this is a lot of fucking expensive pussy whether we think they deserve to be paid or not – getting paid….

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Bikini Photoshoot|SFW