DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

25

Nov

Karlie Kloss for WSJ of the Day

Karlie Kloss is one of Taylor Swift’s life sized barbie dolls, who I guess is on payroll to hang with Taylor Swift and give the illusion that Taylor Swift has friends, because without this gang of models she surrounds herself with, that scream “I had no childhood, I am richer than god, I can buy people, and pay them their day rate, to sit on my couch”…because power hungry people are creepy….but less creepy when surrounded by models…even if what she does with them behind closed doors and under contract is…

I don’t know why, I dig this SpaceX head office photoshoot, maybe because Karlie Kloss has great legs, maybe because I know SpaceX and space mining is the beginning of the end of humanity which excites me…or maybe it is just the panties…it’s probably just the panties….

Posted in:Karlie Kloss|SFW

2015

25

Nov

Kelly Brook is Back to Fat Panty Flash of the Day

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Kelly Brook’s a titty model, glamour model, aspiring actress, from the UK, who is actually in her early 40s and not a titty model, or Glamour model at all anymore, but rather more of a chubby chick, with big tits, and an old, tired face, who sometimes starves herself when she has a job lined up, but for the most part, just matches her tits…

She was actually pregnant 4-5 years ago, but had a well planned miscarriage, because I guess her ego told her to leave the UK and hit LA to be famous…and by famous I mean in staged photoshoots, or at red carpet events, because she is known, that include but aren’t limited to armpit fat cleavage and panty flashes…

I’m not a Kelly Brooke fan, and I’m not a Kelly Brook hater, she’s sort of just there…and here she is..just there….look at those arms…Jesus…

Posted in:Kelly Brook|SFW

2015

25

Nov

Shay Mitchell Nipple for Canada on Snapchat of the DAy

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Shay Mitchell is Canadas own pile of beaver shit…that was shipped off to the USA…where it got cast for a seriously hugely successful show that she’s been trying to break free from so that she isn’t type cast, even if she is typecaast…by diversifying her efforts in releasing teen drama type serialized books…and walking around with hard nipples…because people like hard nipples right…

It’s a whole “I am not going back to Canada you motherfuckers…I will be LA and Hollywood long after this hit show gets cancelled, which I assume is show…because she’s scrambling…

All this to say..who cares…but here’s some of her recent whoring…

TO SEE SHAY MITCHELL in Paparazzi Pics – CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Shay Mitchell

2015

25

Nov

Vanessa Paradis’ 42 Year Old Ass for Vogue of the Day

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Vanessa Paradis is a 42 year old French (from france) actress which means you’ve seen her tits in French movies….in Vogue Paris…for France…because France is all over the news, but not really, the rest of the world is “over” the terror attack and we’ve all moved onto new things to worry about…like our Thanksgiving Turkeys and how annoying our relatives are…especially that uncle who you pretend didn’t molest you when you were a kid…even though he molested you when you were a kid…

But here she is showing her 42 year old French ass, an ass that Johnny Depp tainted for 14 years…with his sperm…making babies…like that hot Lily Rose who I guess is 16 or 17 now….and in a broken home…thanks to super famous dad fucking super strategic stepmom Amber Heard…who prior to Johnny Depp had been in one movie and was in the media for being bi sexual…like it was a story…when really it was more a “I’ll do whatever my client pays me to do”..

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!

And that’s to never respect a homewrecking whore…but to move in and offer comfort to the mom, who may be old, but who still has an ass, that is on the cover of a fashion mag, not a weird fetish mag featuring old moms…an ass that you can assume she likes having filled, at least based on my experience with french women…but those french women are more the white trash French Canadian kind, not the Parisian fancy ones getting shot at the cafe by the Arabs they hate…

Yes…I WENT THERE…

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Paradis

2015

25

Nov

Katy Perry for H*M Holiday of the Day

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I wonder how much H&M paid Katy Perry to create a song for their Holiday campaign, and to create a music video for their Holiday campaign, but I am going to assume it was a fucking lot..

I am not sure if you realize what I am saying here….H&M hired Katy Perry to create a jingle for them, to star in a commercial for them, which is some serious fucking selling out…

Here I though that Katy Perry was an artist, with artistic integrity, so committed to her art..that she’d never cash in as aggressively as possible, making her make even more money that Taylor Swift did, like some kind of commodity..

I never thought that the daughter of an evangelist, scamming religious people, you know real believers into making him money, would be anything but someone doing her hustle for the love of performing..

There was no way she was cashing in on a viral song “I Kissed a Girl”…that resulted in strategic moves that allow her to still exist…Because as you know, Katy Perry is a fucking scam, she’s got big tits, but she can’t sing, she can’t dance, but people buy into her cartoon like movement, product…because people are mprons…and believe she’s more than just a puppet used to sell product.

At least she looks like she’s having fun, while winning as a badly dancing monkey…because why would she be be anything but having fun…making millions in one afternoon…

It’s so fucking Crazy….no, H&M didn’t pay me to post this, but I wish they did, because like Katy Perry, I want to sellout too…

Posted in:Katy Perry|SFW

2015

25

Nov

Nina Agdal Holiday Campaign of the Day

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Michael Kors is a Huge fucking brand….so I wonder why the hired such a bootleg model…or why they did such a shitty video…or why it only has 2,000 views…

Knowing they probably paid 250,000 dollars to 1,000,000 dollars for this…makes me want to hunt down the marketing person, lock them in my fucking basement, and let them die a long, drawn out, death…they deserve for being such fucking clowns, who lack creativity, vision, and even their “safe”…bullshit, fucking sucks…

If you use a hooker who makes 10,000 dollars a year like Nina Agdal, use her like the fucking hooker she is…

If you’re looking to build out your brand, do something interesting, even do something different…do something different..

It doesn’t mean “get naked girls shoving iphones in their assholes”…something we know Nina Agdal would do..

It does mean using your fucking money smarter and doing something interesting…

There is so much waste in the world…wasted money, wasted opportunity…and I am only posting this because it fucking sucks…not because Michael Kors paid me 100,000 dollars to post it…ya know…

Fuckers…and their downs syndrome looking models…

Posted in:Nina Agdal|SFW

2015

25

Nov

Kaia Gerber for Teen Vogue of the Day

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I figure if Cindy Crawford is willing to pimp her kid out to the media. Throwing her into modeling shoots, because modeling was so good for Cindy Crawford, it even landed her a billionaire heir to the Gerber empire husband, that with his sperm, she made this Kaia brat…straight from the mean streets of Malibu…and now in magazines…because these idiots can’t just be gracious or graceful in their fame and fortune, they just need to keep milking it and milking it, and all it takes is making a few calls, because she’s Cindy Crawford….

Even if this 14 year old model was a troll, missing fingers, with server developmental disabilities, wheel chair bound, albino….and covered in contagious lesions…she’d still be cast in Teen Vogue, they’d just use a lot of make-up, all thanks to being Cindy Crawford’s daughter…

I’d assume that after seeing all the drugs, all the bad people at the parties she attended, Cindy Crawford would want her kid to do something more substantial…that involves not being a vapid twat…but instead…this is how she spends her high school weekends…

I just can’t see how anything good will come from this…she’s still a fucking kid…even if kids these days have more sex partners than you by 12, and not even the ghetto ones from the projects…but rich ones too…thanks to internet porn and parents too into themselves to raise them properly…

I guess the good news is that she’s cute, has potential, and in the next 4 years…will be walking the runway for that scam Victoria’s Secret, because that’s how their casting works…

Everyone wants to be an instagram model, but legit with actual photoshoots..weird..

Posted in:Kaia Gerber|SFW

2015

25

Nov

Top 10 Star Wars Gifts for Black Friday of the Day

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Halloween is over, so it’s almost Christmas, am I allowed to say that it’s Christmas, in this era of distress, where Starbucks gets slandered by the non-Christians who feel oppressed by the Christian world they live in and shouldn’t be exposed to….

You or someone you know is probably a what I call a Virgin loser, but what you probably called a Star Wars fan…which is probably 99 percent of you, as Star Wars is the most anticipated, highly marketed, overrated bullshit to ever exist…but it made George Lucas a billionaire, so I guess it can’t be that bad…right?

So with the help of my friends at TheGadgetFLow Here are the Top 10 Star Wars gifts according to me…yes I hand picked every last one of these fuckers….even though I hate Star Wars and think it is all that is wrong in the world…but I guess I’ve had sex with girls before…so I can’t relate…

Some of these gift ideas are pretty good though…

1- the Star Wars Millenium Falcon Drone

2- Star Wars Droid

3- Light Sabre Chopsticks

4- AT-BT Boombox

5- Star Wars Toaster

6- Lightsaber Umbrealla

7- Lightsaber Thumb Wrestling

8- Star Wars Car Decals

9- Relic v@ Cross Guard

10- Death Star Ice

GADGETS VIA HERE

Posted in:Ad|Gadgets|Top 10

2015

25

Nov

I Give Thanks for LA Public Transport and Other Videos of the Day

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Apparently This is a WWE Stalker the WWE had a Restraining Order on – Getting Shot by the Cops for being a Wrestling Fan

Palestinian Terrorist Armpit Hair After Being Taken Out for Trying to Stab Israeli

Fat Guy Steals Little Boys Ipad

Weird Accident where Driver Gets Run Over By

Man Skating on Street Ice

Masturbation on the Bus

Dancing Bird…

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2015

25

Nov

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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THANKSGIVING TOMORROW…

I thought it was today, since everyone pretty much checked out on Monday with dreams of Turkey sliding in and out of the girl they meet at the bar with no family’s ass…

Or maybe that’s just me…everyday…

I figure you don’t need it to be thanksgiving to make “Stuff her like a Turkey” jokes…

Here are some morning links….in anticipation for tomorrow….and the next day…and the next day after that…

Sean Connery Tried To Have a Threesome With Carly Simon and her Sister
CLICK HERE

Girls in Bikini…
CLICK HERE

Raven Messes With His Caretaker…
CLICK HERE

Courtney Stodden Bo Peep
CLICK HERE

Natasha Oakley in a Bikini…
CLICK HERE

Mountain Lion Returned to Forest Freed from Circus
CLICK HERE

Flasher of the Day
CLICK HERE

Hovering a Helicopter
CLICK HERE

Girls in Yoga Pants
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS