DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

15

Jul

Lara Stone Topless for Calvin Klein of the Day

It looks like Calvin Klein has finally decided to start marketing their brand again. For those of you, as if there are any of you actually reading this, out there….Calvin Klein were beasts in the 90s. They had every hot model. Every campaign felt like some teen porno. They made noise, they innovated, they paved the way for a lot of brands…and every bitch wanted Calvin’s and Marky Mark Wahlberg stuck his dick in a pair, long before sticking his dick in Jenny McCarthy, no wait that’s his brother…

All this to say, they were a brand…they were pushing boundaries…then they disappeared…and now they are back..with a titty model Lara Stone…topless but not showing nipples..

Even though her nipples are everywhere…

I guess they are still being safe, and boring, but at least they are trying….C for Effort motherfuckers…maybe if Calvin took his dick out of some 20 year old model for a minute, we’d get some better content…

Posted in:Lara Stone

2014

15

Jul

Ashley Sky for Terry Richardson of the Day

No Comments »

Ashley Sky is one of the original instagram models. Most people who don’t use instagram, probably have no idea who she is. I doubt she’s really made much money off her instagram hustle, but she’s probably met a lot of rich people….

The rumor is that she apparently had some rich black boyfriend who pumped money into her and her brand…basically promoting her and doing PR for her.

She got into a few mags, but really nothing all that substantial. Then hundreds or thousands of other girls diluted her instagram hustle…leaving her one of the many no names with a big audience…

I heard she’s no single, living in LA, trying to make it, and what better way than to let Terry Richardson cum on her face, with his camera…

You see, he’s kind of a big deal.

Posted in:Ashley Sky

2014

15

Jul

Kendall Jenner for LOVE Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

Kendall Jenner is a Kardashian, therefore she is a product of porn, but more importantly, the devil’s womb, who has exploited her since she was young and continues to exploit her, but at least with this one, she actually likes the whole modelling thing, because she’s tall and lean and built to model…and really being a model is the best job for a rich kid because it requires doing absolutely nothing and getting paid insane amounts of money…

The world is doomed, our priorities fucked, but Kendall Jenner got the cover of Love Magazine and people care…

Also for Love Magazine is this GEM Cara DElevingne doing LL COOL J…..

TO SEE some more Kendall in Paparazzi Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2014

15

Jul

Lindsay Lohan Falling Video of the Day

No Comments »

I was looking for a video of Lindsay Lohan falling yesterday, I figure if there are paparazzi pics of the shit, there’d be some kind of video footage.

What I found was substantially better…..some robot weirdness that for some reason turns me on. I want to call in and have phone sex with this slut…

Coincidentally, I want that with Lohan too, and the night that I hung out with her, she also fell. I don’t know if she was drunk or just clumsy, it was more an unable to handle her shoes situation, that should have ended with me mounting her for the paparazzi…but like this video…I fail…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

15

Jul

Pool Party Crasher and Other Videos of the Day

No Comments »

Road Rage of the Day in Russia….Motherfucker Runs Over Angry Man, Checks his Car, Drives Off

Trolling Live News Broadcast…

Insane Girl Crossing the Street Fail

Fight Leading to Naked Man Fighting

Smokin’ Hookah with the Kids…

Posted in:Videos

2014

15

Jul

Farrah Abraham and her Pussy Toy of the Day

No Comments »

Want to know what I love? Farrah Abraham.

I feel like I have a close relationship, because I RELEASED HER SEX TAPES TO THE INTERNET BEFORE ANYONE ELSE

I also like that she was a teen mother, clearly a bit of a sex addict, proven in the fact that she was a teen mother in the first place, who after the show, decided to do HARDCORE PORN with a Pornstar, not pretending it was a leaked video, the first one called FARRAH SUPERSTAR BACKDOOR the second called BACK DOOR AND MORE …and she was fucking amazing…

I have EXCLUSIVE CLIPS OF BOTH OF THEM

Her body was hot, her fucking was hot, and in turn she was hot…even though she was a mom….and even though she was Farrah Abraham…and even though her face looks like that…

So after going viral with the porn, making more money than Kim Kardashian from the porn, being the biggest porn of last year in sales, she disappeared for a little bit, but has now moved back into the adult industry with these awesome sex toys that have the likeliness of her vagina and luckily not of her face.. since she’s not that pretty, but her not being pretty kind of gets thrown out the window, when you see her fuck, and squirt, and take it up the ass…like an delicate flower sent from heaven to show the world how a good mom who started young and who seeks attention behaves….

So the good people at TOPCO…have licensed the exclusive use of her VAGINA for good and not evil…

I’ve already asked them to send me every single one in the set…even two or three…that I can put between my wife’s legs and fuck a new vagina that’s not as tainted as either Farrah or my wife…

You see, I would never want to deal with Farrah in person, I’ve met her and she’s a bit of a crazy person…but I am totally down to desecrate her pelvis in my basement….

So love her or hate her, you won’t be able to resist how good these pics of her celebrating her new business venture are….

Ridiculous, and amazing…I’m a fan.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS BECAUSE THEY ARE AMAZING CLICK HERE

TO WATCH HER IN PORN CLICK HERE

Posted in:Farrah Abraham

2014

15

Jul

Christy Mack for INKED MAG Of the Day

No Comments »

Christy Mack is a hugely popular porn star who blocked me on Social media very early on in her career…

It probably had something to do with me making fun of her for being a pornstar, but I only did that because I like making fun of girls who have any level of celebrity, whether it’s casting couch hustle or pornstar fucking for money hustle. It’s one of those, I feel it is warranted because they put themselves out there, get paid to leave their dignity at the door, and with all the hater, comes all the super fans who make her really matter, who I guess she prefers to focus on…understandably…I’d block me too….I’m a brat.

That said, I’ve never seen her porn, apparently she’s one of the dirtiest fucks around. I don’t really dig that whole tattoo, inked up girl movement, but it is huge and people are all about it…so I get it.

I have seen her in person 2-3 times, I didn’t even realize she was Christy Mack, because let’s just say she looks a lot better in pictures…but I probably wouldn’t tell her UFC fighter boyfriend that…because people who know how to kill people with their fists are the kind of people you try not to dis their porno wife…..

Either way, my friends at INKED MAGAZINE did this great shoot with her….and these are the pics of her looking hot as fuck…if you’re into this tattooed girl thing…and you probably are…because it seems like everyone is…It’s so dark..

Posted in:Christy Mack

2014

15

Jul

Jessica Simpson’s Instagram Bikini Pics of the Day

No Comments »

There’s some story going around that Jessica Simpson is changing her name to Jessica Johnson…because she got married…and it is still a traditional thing for some women to do…because they want the same last name as their kids…and they like the idea of changing their name for their man…despite what all the feminists are pissed off about…you know up on some “It’s no a man’s world anymore, don’t let him dominate you girl”…bullshit..

I mean she’s a fucking Texan Christian with a homo dad who was once of the church…who raised her in the church…before hollywood put the devil in his pants…doesn’t mean this girl doesn’t want some level of white girl normalcy after years of being a sinner…

Or maybe her man really did gold dig her hard…with solid mind fucks…either way, she can go back to her maiden name when she gets a divorce and in the meantime let’s appreciate her being fit, busty and in a bathing suit…because ultimately…who cares what she fucking calls herself…it’s not she matters in any of our lives…except maybe when shopping for Christmas gifts for your wife you hate at K-Mart….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2014

15

Jul

X-Men XXX Porn Parody Exclusive of the Day

No Comments »

My friends and celebrity sex tape industry experts at VIVID.COM – are also Parody Experts were nice enough to give me an EXCLUSIVE CLIP OF X-MEN XXX

I figure that if you’re visiting this site, you have got to be some kind of nerdy, weirdo with aspergers, who is way too into celebrity babes to really leave the house and meet a fucking girl of your own, so porn is what it is, and what you’re left with…porn and fucking comics…sci/fi fantasy…never getting laid…

It’s the season of COMIC CON, but you don’t need me to tell you that, so this should fit in nicely with your social life…and virgin loser needs…

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE CLIP

Here are some pics

TO SEE THE EXCLUSIVE CLIP
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE

2014

15

Jul

Kristen Stewart in Drag for a Shity Music Video

No Comments »

I don’t know who this faggot Jenny Lewis is, but I know her video is a pile of shit set to a shitty viral song….

Up on some Mackelmore, let’s target single middle aged sluts who too the Sex and the City approach to life, fucking as much they could, only to realize dudes marry and knock up wives, not career obsessed cunts…with dirty pussies…especially after they turned down babies and family for career, only to be menopausal on a pile of money – feeling empty as fuck…

I’m posting this because Kristen Stewart and her inbred eyes is in it in drag…being one of the guys…because based on her sex appeal…I am pretty sure she is…

Posted in:Video