I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

22

Apr

Jennifer Aniston’s Caged Titties on Set of the Day

Jennifer Aniston’s shirt reminded me of some kind of fetish shit where you cage a bitch’s tits so tight that the fucking things look like they are going to explode, sure her’s is the tame version, but I thought it was appropriate, since that’s how I know her pussy feels whenever it’s wearing underwear, you know like a caged animal that just wants to escape and get pregnant from Brad Pitt any way she can, and that urge just follows her everywhere she goes and mocks her everytime a dude fucks her annoying self and leaves her high maintenance ego, and for some reason her misery and the fact that she’ll be alone until she lowers her standards makes me feel pretty fucking satisfied a feeling I doubt she ever feels….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Cage|cleavage|Jennifer Aniston|Tits

2010

22

Apr

Jennifer Lopez Reminds Us She Sucks in a Tight Dress of the Day

I never found J.Lo hot. I knew it was a marketing campaign that idiots bought into. Her ass was hardly impressive and the rest of her reminded me of a dude, but for some reason, she made stupid fucking money, and that reason is that you’re all a bunch of idiots who believe everything you see on TV and figure that if the media tells you she’s got a great ass and she dates people like Ben Affleck and P.Diddy, than she must. What a fucking joke, but not as much of a fucking joke as what her husband looks like, seriously get this guy a horror movie or a sandwich, cuz eating disorders may be porn to me, but not when weird weasel looking dudes are up on the shit, you gotta save that shit for teenage girls who would otherwise be fat….

Either way, J.Lo has a movie coming out where she plays a hooker who gets knocked up before she finds the man of her life, some crap single women who want babies will relate to, making J.Lo more stupid money, and here she is in a tight dress working her way out of the wood work and the whole thing was very unfortunate… won’t let her trick me like she’s tricked all of you idiots….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|Tight Dress

2010

22

Apr

Mischa Barton’s Fat Ass Tries to Unlock her Car of the Day

I am a firm believer of kicking bitches when they are down, especailly when they’ve been treated too well in life up until now….and Mischa Barton is clearly really fucking down….and no one has told her emotionally eating won’t get her out of it…but maybe enough hard drugs she’s clearly been dabbling in will…so here’s the pig trying to unlock her car door but she’s having issues cuz pigs don’t know how to unlock car doors cuz they’re too busy rolling around in their own filth being pigs…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Mischa Barton

2010

22

Apr

Gisele is an Off-Duty Model Showing Off Her Ass of the Day

When I think about a bikini model’s ass pictures, even when that bikini model is rumored to be a dude, I don’t think about this, but since I believe everything I’m told and since she looks a lot like a girl to me, with her skinny body and long hair, she’s good enough to check out her ass in jeans, but then again, I check out every single pussy that walks by me, big or small, young or old, cuz there’s no such thing as discrimination when it comes to pussy, unless you consider paying women less than men, giving them less opportunity than men, basing their intelligence on their bra size, encouraging them to raise the kids, run the household, while being the breadwinner as I sit on my ass pretending to job hunt discrimination, but I don’t….I call it giving them what they asked for, considering men never complained in the 50s when their wives were their posessions to do what they want with…this is progression cunts and here’s Gisele’s ass even though she may not have a cunt…

On a sidenote, off-duty bikini models dressed in everyday clothes seems to be my new porn…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ass|Model|Off-Duty Model

2010

22

Apr

AnnaLynne McCord’s Sister’s Cry for Attention of the Day

You know it’s a slow day when you start seeing people talk about some no names, even less accomplished sister, because she’s playin’ it up for the Paparazzi while loving every second of riding her sisters 15 minutes of fame cuz she got cast in 90210 the Next Generation, a show I can only assume will be cancelled very fucking soon, forcing these trashcans to head back home to their parents where they can live thinking they are the greatest, hottest, most talented that Hollywood threw the fuck out, because Hollywood is dated and doesn’t know what the people want…leading to incest lesbian sex tapes that won’t get them back into Hollywood, but will lead to a fetish site that charges memeber 19.99 a month, eventually makin’ them finally get the fame and male-attention they think they deserve because everyone in their small town, that I can only assume is filled with fat inbred trash, would feed their egos every fucking day….and here she is kissing a chick for the paparazzi to get noticed….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Attention Whore|Lesbian Kiss.

2010

22

Apr

Isabel Lucas and Her Guitar Try to Get Noticed of the Day

There’s a big media push behind this Isabel Lucas bitch. She’s some Australian who wanted to make it in America because she saw success at home and figured it was an easy transition. She pretty much only got work in Transformers and people noticed that she was hot, but that was the extent of the shit, but now she’s on her fucking hustle to remind people that she’s more than just hot, she’s the next big fucking thing…..

I can always tell when someone’s got fire under their career’s ass, because the paparazzi agencies start posting more pictures of them, they start doing more stunts and appearances, and most importantly they usually start wearing see-through clothes, accidentally flash nipple or pussy and if we’re real lucky, sex tape…cuz hollywood is pretty much equally trashy as porn…..

So walking around the airport with a guitar like the homeless lesbian who badly sings old punk songs and claims she’s looking for money to travel may not quite be what we’re looking for, but I assume there was a miscommunication…they said “keep your instrument unwrapped and out of the bag”…I’m hoping another miscommunication is that she’s supposed to be filming in Montreal and now she’s dating Jake Gyllenhaal, a very unfortunate thing for anyone, even if he’s got a crush on Australians every since Heath left his life and makes her rise to getting noticed easier…..when really all she needs to do is suck it up and let out her genitals….

People dig her, she’s hot, but I hate her for the Gyllenhaal shit, I just can’t see past that, even if it’s social climbing, the good news is that she’s supposed to be in Montreal, I’m in Montreal and will try to talk her out of this strategy and give her a DrunkenStepfather make-over, but no the kind of make-over I give my wife, because not everyone is so open minded to getting shit on….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Isabel Lucas|PR PUSH

2010

21

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

If a fat, sad looking girl comes up to you to talk about your dog, run the fuck away while you can, because just a few minutes ago, some fat girl started talking to my dog and telling me how she needs a dog, ideally a needy one because she’s really lonely…it was already too late to make my escape….I was the first person to talk to her in a week, other than her mother, co-workers and people who work at stores she goes to and she saw she had me in her trap and took advantage of the opportunity, spoke of 30 minutes about her cats battle with lung cancer, the book she read on dating and how it didn’t work out for her and that she grew up on a farm and really wants to have babies but just has her Garfield who now needs an Oddie….it was pretty fucking miserable but not as miserable as my stepLINks….

Prostitutes….There’s an App for That…
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It Was Fitting That I Failed When I Tried to Show You the Video Game About My Life, Because I’m a Failure At Life Generally. So Here It Is Again – VIDEO
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More of JWoww and Her Insane Tits
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I’m Sure You Can Think of a Thing or Two to Put Inside This Robot Mouth – VIDEO
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Demi Moore’s A Milf We’d All Like To Fuck
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William Shatner and That Little Taiwanese Susan Boyle Homo Did a Duet and It’s Pretty Much the Most Amazing Thing Ever – VIDEO
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Happy Earth Day: The Hottest Vegans
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Some Sluts to To Help You Hump to Get Over Hump Day
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Jordan Carver’s Body is Outta Site
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Patrick Swayze Versus Iron Man – VIDEO
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2010 NFL Mock Draft – The Hottest Wives and Girlfriends
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Miss San Jose Sex Tape Throw Back
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How Not to Sell Arms to India – VIDEO
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some Zoe Saldana Hotness
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Just When I Thought Nobody Could Get as Drunk as I Do, This Guy Goes and Puts Me to Shame – VIDEO
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Justina in Her Bedroom
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Horny Drunk Sluts do Things They Will Regret Later – VIDEO
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A little Kate Beckinsale
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The Service Wives and Girlfriends Calendar
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Random Photos of the Day
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Brianna Amor is Just Too Fucking Much
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Jazy and Jessica Lynn
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It Figures That Peaches Geldof is Into Scat Porn
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Haylie Duff Pokies
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Kim Kardashian Just Because
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10 Awesome Whore Pictures of the Day
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Seriously, Beyonce Looks Best When She’s Dressed Down
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I’d Be Out Fucking the World too If I Caught Herpes From Paris Hilton
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Elexis and Samantha Are Fucking Each Other
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Hey There Daisy Marie
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I’d Totally Bang Vanessa Paradis and Her Gap Tooth
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The 20 Biggest WTFs in Comic History
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Anna Kournikova Pussy F
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Man Gets Drivers License Revoked For Driving a Barbie Car While Drunk
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25 Examples of Unintentional Porn
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Granddad Caught in Act – VIDEO
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I Don’t Know Who Kaley Cuoco is But She’s Making Me Think Naughty Thoughts
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Lesbian Fetish of the Day
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I Don’t Know What Sophie Turner is Up to, But So Long As She Brings Her Tits Along, It’s Fine By Me
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Follow Me. It Does a Body Good
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

21

Apr

Laura Vandervoort Bra from Some Bullshit Show of the Day

I don’t know who this bitch Laura Vandervoort is but she’s on some space show, so I can only assume some of you think you’re already married to her despite having never met her, but there’s always hope she’ll be at the next sci-fi convention…so I’m not sure if you’ll be happy to see her in a bra, or upset to seeing her cheat on you with another guy while you’re the only one in her life in your insane world…..but I’m posting it anyway, because despite hating bras, I like them better than I like shirts…

Posted in:Bra|Laura Vandervoort

2010

21

Apr

Sienna Miller in Shorts of the Day

We’ve all seen Sienna Miller’s hipster “UK Fashion Scene” bush in various movie roles. We’ve also seen her hot tits. We’ve seen her destroy marriages and we’ve seen her living the party life with a wide array of cock….We’ve also seen her fade into obscurity. We’ve seen the world stop caring about her…and we’ve seen that she’s actually a dirty ratty lookin’ bitch and not actually hot…and now we’re seeing her in jean shorts with Jude Law, because I guess they are the perfect couple for each other and understand each other because they both have the same stupid accent and they both made it in America according to what America thinks making it in America is….and who the fuck really cares…apparently I do because I just wrote this…but I shouldn’t and either should you…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Shorts|Sienna Miller

2010

21

Apr

Sophie Marceau Ass for the Necrophiliacs of the Day

Here is an almost erotic clip of Sophie Marceau’s Old Lady Ass, if you’re a necrophiliac and like your bitches to look like they are lying in a locker at the morgue before you have your way with them, something hard to introduce into sex on the first date, in a “come on baby, let me just paint your lips this shade of blue and you just lay there like you’re dead and let me have my way with you ok?”, that’s why I always just recommend really strong sedatives to my necrophiliac friends….

I’m not cultured or into other cultures, but french movies have offered some of the best real sex scenes in a movie, like this one called Baisse Moi that I jerked off to at least once, because there was actual penetration, in a movie that wasn’t considered porn, something that makes sense…It’s like why pretend to fuck when you should actually be fucking to make your role look a lot more authentic than the love scenes Hollywood likes to include in their movies….

Some other bitch was in the movie named Linett Hernandez Valdes, not to be confused with Juan Valdez, the Columbian “coffee farmer” cuz “coffee” is Columbia’s number one export in terms of hiding cocaine in the shipments….she showed tit, I like black chicks, especially when latina even though I’d expect more out of this AFROTINA since this was her first role….

By the way, the movie is called L’Homme de Chevet if you ever want to ignore it at the movie store or pretend you saw it to a bitch you want to impress….

Posted in:Ass|L'Homme de Chevet|Linett Hernandez Valdes|Sophie Marceau|Tits