I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

15

Mar

Julie Bowen’s Weird Ass Paddle Surfs of the Day

Julie Bowen, a woman I had never heard of until a week ago because I don’t watch TV, has been confusing me the last week by wearing her bikini on the beach and forcing me to post on her.

I don’t find her hot, I don’t find her interesting, and now she’s doing the stupidest activity you can possibly do on the beach, but I feel obligated to put these because a woman in a bikini, no matter how old or disgusting is still a woman in a bikini and that’s always something semi-interesting even if it really isn’t….

I am actually pretty bitter about bikinis today, I read somewhere that it is spring break, which means that somewhere college kids are waking up and puking in the pool, only to head back to their hotel room later today to fuck multiple drunk chicks in bikinis, cuz everyone’s horny on spring break and I’m not….

Pics via PacificCoastNews and
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Julie Bowen|Modern Family|Paddle Surf

2010

15

Mar

Rosario Dawson’s Tits Doing Some Good of the Day

Part of me likes Rosario Dawson…I don’t know if it is because she looks like a monkey and I’ve always wanted a pet monkey, or that she’s got tits, or maybe its the fact that she used to live in the ghetto squatting in houses when she was a poor little immigrant, before being cast in the movie Kids when she was just a teenager in her panties, before she became a New York scenester cokewhore…but now she’s helping the community at some charity event, that could actually be her doing community service, and who really cares, bitch is busty and if busty is good enough for charity or community service, it’s good enough for me…

Pics via PacificCoastNews and

Posted in:Rosario Dawson|Tits

2010

15

Mar

Denise Richards and Joanna Krupa with Dogs of the Day

I guess it was useless nobody who used to be hotter back when they had an ego and didn’t realize that it would all come to an end now that they got old day at the dog park, I don’t know if that makes sense, but what I’m trying to say is that there was a time when these girls both though they had the world in the palm of their hands, because they were hot and everyone was recognizing how hot they were and giving them low level jobs that were important enough for them to think they had it all, but now they are old, their careers never really took off, and they are just hanging on going to whatever events they can before they are totally forgotten and I still think at least one of them is hot, seriously I don’t know what Denise Richards did to herself, but it looks like serious heavy drug use and bad plastic surgery and I can only hope her spirits are lost because a girl who has lost her spirit is more nudity even if it’s not as good as it was but is still better than nothing….

So here they are with their little friends who eat their tampons, if they still get their periods, who eat their dirty underwear, who watch them shit and piss, and who see them fuck and masturbate…a life much better than the one my dog has, who plays amongst garbage and rarely gets fed anything but Mac and Cheese…but does get to watch me wipe my wife’s ass and even he knows that’s pathetic….

Pics via PacificCoastNews and

Posted in:Denise Richards|Joanna Krupa|washed up

2010

15

Mar

Jessica Simpson is a Big Lady in Red of the Day

I think I realize why Jessica Simpson is so crazy in bed. It’s not because her ex-husband was a queer who could only get off if she fucked him like a dude, but more to do with a fat chick with a dream of getting married and having a family of her own. If you ever go home with that dolled up fat chick, only to learn she’s got 4 cats and a subscription to wedding magazines and baby name books on her coffee table, you can be pretty fucking sure you’re in for a good ride because all the bitch really wants from you is your cum inside her, as her desperation has got to that point where she’d actually bang you in the first place…

So when I see Jessica Simpson, I see hope. I just need another 20 pounds, a few more failed relationships and bad dates, and access to be within 10 feet of her because when that happens, her pussy will be so craving, even homeless dick is dick that can give her what she wants, and hell the homeless dick may be crazy, but at least it will stick around for the bed and food in the fridge…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Big|Jessica Simpson|Red

2010

15

Mar

Dannii Minogue is a Furry Pregnant Slut of the Day

I’m not sure if Dannii Minogue is famous for anything more than being Kylie Minogue’s sister, but figure she must have done something in her life for people to bother with her, at least something more substantial than getting knocked up and wearing little tight furry outfits that make her look like some kind of muppet I want to fuck that’s already been fucked because it means I can’t get her knocked up and usually that she doesn’t have AIDS because I hear most doctors encourage abortions when you’ve got AIDS, so condoms become a thing of the past, which based on everyone I know, they pretty much already are….seriously, I don’t think I’ve met a girl who uses condoms in the last 5 years….dirty….but I guess not as dirty as the things I would do to this bitch dressed like a monster with a monster polluting her womb….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Dannii Minogue|Pregnant|Slut

2010

15

Mar

Queen Latifah Fat Bikini Tits are a Spring Break Disaster of the Day

Queen Latifah, like Precious and Mo’Nique prove that you can make it without actually having anything remotely appealing about you, because I guess hollywood execs like casting the fat, ugly, black chicks, cuz they are racist, while you rarely see the white equivalent on screen…It’s like the world can embrace fat chicks as long as they are black….and apparently as long as they aren’t in a fucking bikini, because this is the kind of thing I’d expect at my Cuban two star all inclusive Spring Break hotel I’d end up in because shit only costs 350 dollars and attracts the quality, not that I can afford 350 dollars, but you get what I am saying, and if you don’t you’re an idiot, because when I think of Spring Break, I forget that for every hot chick, there is an old fat bitch doing shots like she was a young chick….and today that happens to be Queen Latifah….unfortunately….unless this kind of shit turns you on like you’re some kind of racist thinking you’re a slave owner or some other twisted shit that gets girls like Latifah fucked….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Fat|Queen Latifah|Tits

2010

15

Mar

Cheryl Burke in Her Bikini of the Day


Here’s one of the dancing with the stars dancers in her bikini and despite dancing all fucking day every fucking day it seems like the good life may have taken the fuck over for her. She looks like she’s been eating all the fancy cheeses and burgers and fries her money can buy, like when she was the fat chick in high school no one wanted to take to the prom, before turning to dance with a bunch of other rejects looking for friends, only to end up on TV instead of the stripclub where she would have belonged if she gained weight in the right places…you know less on the hip and more on the motherfuckin’ tits….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Burke

2010

15

Mar

Nicole Scherzinger’s Stomach Leaving the Gym of the Day

One of the most exciting days in my life was when I accidentally snuck into an event and was right next to Nicole Scherzinger…but it had nothing to do with being in the same room as this Pussycat Doll twat or her Girlicious crew, but everything to do with open bar….an invention that has made weddings something I wish I had the confidence to crash, but the one time I did crash a wedding was at some ghetto reception hall and by the time I worked my way in there, it turned out that it was an Asian wedding and I was the only non asian there, who was politely asked to leave before they pulled some ninja on me, but luckily before they did, I managed to grab a beer….ever since then, even after seeing the movie, I can’t bring myself to do it, but instead I just sit here dreaming of it, instead of finding a way to make money so that everyday feels like open bar…even when it isn’t, not that you care, but maybe you will care about Nicole Scherzinger’s tight body, cuz despite looking way too much like a Kardashian black man urinal, and just as cheesy as the Kardashians, she’s still worth noticing, I guess….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gym|Nicole Scherzinger|Stomach

2010

15

Mar

Aubrey O’Day Tits Still Trying to Be Black of the Day

One of the more confusing things about Aubry O’Day is how she’s trying to turn herself black. I remember reading about how she fucked Diddy and other rappers back when she was on TV, before everyone forgot about her, and I get that some girls are really into black dudes, whether it is to upset their dads, the size of their dicks, their powerful position in the music industry, the fact that they fuck fat chicks, or whatever other reason their is for a white girl to go black. See I like under 30 pussy, she likes black dudes, you like wearing women’s panties, we all have our preferences and I don’t judge anyone for anything that makes them happy….

I just find it funny that she’s found comfort in the fact that black dudes like fat chicks, so it’s allowed her to eat all the fucking milkshakes she can, so many milkshakes that the store made her the fucking spokesperson, figuring that a fat no name bitch with fat tits is a good look for their brand, especially since everyone’s so entertained by the fact they chose her that they are writing about it….I also find the color of her skin funny, it’s like she’s trying to turn into that orange shit color that’s worked so well for the Kardashians in luring black cock.

Either way, here she is getting felt up by Elmo but more importantly showing off her stupid contacts that make her look like she’s cast in some bootleg Twilight softcore porn…but life’s not that good for her…and instead she’s stuck endorsing milkshakes…

Pics via Bauer and
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|cleavage|Tits

2010

15

Mar

Kelly Landry’s Hot Body in her Bikini Body of the Day

I don’t know who Kelly Landry is, but I do know she should be a lot more famous than she already is, not that what she does really warrants her as being famous, because she gets gigs like hosting Wheel of Fortune Australia, something pretty fucking insignificant because it is in Australia, despite the fact 98% of Australia are poor white trash that fucking love sitting at home with their fat wives drinking beer in their trailer watching game shows….because Australia is insignificant, so she hasn’t quite hit it big here, but if she keeps up this kind of behavior, like walking down the beach with her solid body like a common hooker, she’ll do fine here….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Landry