I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

15

Feb

Candace Rae Does Playboy of the Day

I have always wanted to walk into one of the many stripclubs I have been to over the course of my life, and run into someone I know. I’ve thought it’d be so funny to get a lapdance from random people in my past whose life didn’t work out as planned and brought them to giving me lap dances for 10 dollars a song. I thought it’d be funny if it was girls who may have worked at a store I used to go to, or someone from the church group that used to give us warm soup in the park, maybe someone prude who used to judge me for being a pervert, an ex girlfriend or one of the hot girls from school who didn’t give me the time of day, because they had this false sense of talent, before reality set in. It hasn’t happened yet, but a girl I know did do Playboy and her pictures came out today.

Her name is Candace Rae , she is my friend, and she’s finally got naked for me and the rest of the world to jerk off to. I am posting this to encourage her to get more naked for me when we hang out, because it took Playboy to actually get those panties off after at least a year of ignoring my constant requests….

So give her some love cuz she’s on my team…

Posted in:Candace Rae|Playboy

2010

15

Feb

Paris Hilton is Back with her Bikini Wedgied Ass of the Day

I made a vow to never post Paris Hilton pictures again. I was tired of her and wanted her to disappear and she pretty much almost did. I don’t think I had anything to do with it, she was just laying low, but it was a nice moment of piece.

The problem with me is that I am inconsistent. There’s been many times I’ve said “I am never drinking again” or “I am going to lose 40 pounds this week” or “I am going to quit smoking” and I pull through and stick to my guns for a solid 5 minutes because my will power is just so strong….

So I can’t help but post these pictures of Paris Hilton showing her ass in a bikini, I have just trained myself to do this shit and I can’t turn my back to a bitch craving attention, no matter how played out, useless, ugly, disgusting, diseased, boring, annoying she is….

So here’s Paris Hilton making my kind of comeback, now I just want her to do an instructional video on how to play connect the dots with herpes scars. Fa-La-La-La.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Paris Hilton

2010

15

Feb

Aubry O’Day Celebrates her Birthday With Trash of the Day

Aubry O’Day is known for being on some fake tit whore on a really useless Diddy show, that gave her the taste of black that made her want to slowly turn herself black or at least milk the fact that she became a black object of interest, with a fat ass and titties, and so she took up eating to stay thick without realizing that all fat white chicks are black object of interest because she doesn’t want to admit that she’s a nobody that is only good for fucking….

She has befriended some no name Australian slut who was also on a reality show and who looks like a pornstar, but I’m not allowed to say is a pornstar because she’ll sue me, as she has tried before, and I guess they are celebrating Aubry’s birthday together because they have so much in common, mainly being totally fucking irrelevant bitches with fat tits who are too fuckin’ annoying to actually become pornstars everyone already thinks they are….

Either way, here’s a whole lot of fake tit…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Aubry O'Day|Birthday|Trash

2010

15

Feb

Katy Perry’s White Panties Upskirt Getting Out of a Car of the Day

I have an issue with white underwear because wearing them is risky fucking business. They always end up looking like used toilet paper, in a blood and shit smeared mess when you’re done with them 3 to 5 days later. It’s like they are really only white for a few hours, before turning to a light beige color….and that makes them a lot of pressure to wear if you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t want the hookers you fuck judging you and thinking you’ve got no hygiene, which luckily I am not….

So whenever I see a bitch in white panties, especially a pig like Katy Perry, especially when that pig is pregnant, I think whenever those come off and end up in a ball on the floor, the dude whos steals them to use for masturbation, is gonna be in for a serious surprise, and if he’s lucky, he may even get to taste the remnants of her abortion or miscarriage or whever else drips out of her….and all we get to see is a little peak at the magic test tube that is her genital area…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Getting Out of Cars|Katy Perry|Panties|Upskirt|White Panties

2010

15

Feb

Mariska Hargitay’s Boring Beach Pictures of the Day

Here’s the ethnic-named born and raised in America, but you’d think you were calling a mail order bride if you were randoming looking for easter european mail-order brides in the phonebook when bored and drunk. She’s from Law & Order and now she’s in a “shitting in the woods” stance on the beach in what I guess is a bikini….she’s 46, I guess I should give her a break…because my wife is around this age and she can’t even support her own weight when she squats to shit, so I guess this makes Mariska a fuckin’ hero….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Beach|Mariska Hargitay

2010

13

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

Valentine’s Day huh? So how many of you are going to kill yourselves because you’re tired of being alone and this special day really drives that point home. How many of you are going to spend your money trying to impress a bitch who no matter what you do won’t be impressed because she has to deal with the fact that she’s stuck with you on Valentines Day? How many of you are anticipating getting rejected after asking the girl you really like to spend the day with you?

If you’ve got a brain, you’ll go out drinking all fucking weekend and find yourself the single drunkest chick in the bar because you know she’s getting drunk to medicate for being alone, and will take whatever comes her way to not be alone.

I can’t drive this point home more than I do year after year, but if you never get laid, or pick up in bars, your destiny is about to fucking change, seriously, desperate miserable girls are hurting so bad they will fuck you….seriously….

While you’re polishing your dancing shoes, or whatever you kids do these days, feel free to check my stepLINKS, since they are my Valentine’s Day gift to you……

Remember How Snookie Was All “There’s No Nudes Of Me” and I Was All “Yeah Right, Dumb Slut”? Well She Was Lying and My Statement is Still True and we like Dumb Sluts No Matter How Fat They Is.
GO

Coco and Her Ass Support Haiti and You Should Too
GO

15 Hottest Magazine Covergirls of the Decade
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The 10 Hottest Celebrity Bachelorettes
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Because You Should Give You Hand and Wrist a Break
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Tamara Ecclestone is a Welfare Version os Megan Fox, Which is Pretyu Bad, Cause As Far As I Know, Megan Fox Has Pure Welfare White Trash In Her Blood
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Mascot Attack – VIDEO
GO

Alicia Keys Panty Upskirt
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Lauren Conrad Can Barely String a Sentence Together Without Saying ‘Like’ 20 Times. Here She is Looking Fuckable at the Book Signing For the Book She Didn’t Write
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Pam Anderson Gets More Pathetic By the Day and I Love It
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Hahahaha and More Shit You Can Buy From an Infomercial
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Francia Raisa is a Hottest, Less Desperate Kim Kardashian
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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The 25 Hottest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Models
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Now That’s How You Win a Marathon
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Melissa Lauren Will Rock Your World
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Jon Gosselin’s Ex, Hailey Glassman, is a Dirty Slut
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Ice T is Fucking Hilarious – VIDEO
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Rhian Sugden is Topless
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Molly and Jana Get It On
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Selita Ebanks Throwback
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Check Out the Rack on Lauren
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And More Bar Refaeli
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I Don’t Care About Rihanna’s Music, But She’s Lookin’ Damn Good in This Photoshoot
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Dani is a Real Piece of Art
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Steve Nash is the Most Ridiculous Man in the World – VIDEO
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I Love Me a Brunette
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Khloe Kardashian Wants to Film Herself Masturbating
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Now THAT’S a Taco
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Madonna Will Make You Puke in 3…2…1
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Praying Mantis Vs. Computer
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Zulfija, Nadia or Dorothy? Take Your Pick
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Lady Gaga is Disgusting and Looks 100 Years Old
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Well Hey There Jodie
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

12

Feb

Pornhub Video Contest of the Day

I figure you broke ass motherfuckers could take advantage of this contest and make your broke ass motheruckers some money.

All you need to do is write Pornhub somewhere in a video that doesn’t have to be sexual, or have nudity, or be pornographic, so you don’t need to recruit the women you are already scared to talk to and if you get the most views, you are elegible to win 10,000 dollars.

You know 10,000 dollars is a lot of money you can use on pussy, strippers, gambling, drugs, booze, even a vacation, so you can write it on your chest in peanut butter and have your dog lick it off you, or you can write it on the sex doll you made out of old towels, newspaper, cold cuts and a picture of your favorite celebrity and become rich enough to spend 10,000 dollars on something you’ve always wanted.

Here’s the press release that just landed in my inbox and realize how much I do for you, you’re lucky to have me, cuz no one else cares..and I really think you should enter videos for free just based on the fact that you have obviously used their site to jerk off before…..

As a fan of your site we thought you and your readers will be interested in our upcoming contest. Pornhub is about to launch its first online video contest: Pornhub Fever, where we will be giving out $15 000 USD in cash prizes.

Yes, we’re an adult site. But video entries DO NOT have to be adult in nature. We are looking for fun and unique videos. They can range from reciting Shakespeare to singing Baby Got Back in acappella while dancing in a camel costume. As long as the Pornhub insignia is visible in the video we will accept it. 

For webmasters, this means that your readers could upload videos about your site. Maybe they’re giving a review or reading directly from your site. It’s up to you and your readers what content to upload.

This is a worldwide contest and the amount of traffic and views checking out the videos will be staggering.  Winning videos will be displayed on the front page of Pornhub.com with a guaranteed exposure of over 250 000 viewers.

Voting begins February 24, 2010. Each week for five weeks cash gifts totaling $1 000 USD are given to the winners.

1st: $600 USD
2nd $250 USD
3rd   $100 USD
4th $50 USD
5th: A Pornhub t-shirt

1st and 2nd place winners will not be eligible for subsequent weekly votes. The grand prize of $10,000 USD is held between the top two winners of each week. The contest ends April 7, 2010.

Whether you’re interested in added exposure or want to compete in the contest yourself, it’s your call.
To find out more about Pornhub Fever: http://contest.Pornhub.com

Should you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

The Pornhub Team

SO START SENDING IN YOUR VIDEOS NOW AND YOU CAN WIN!!!
GO

Posted in:Pornhub Video Contest

2010

12

Feb

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2010 Video of the Day

The SI Swimsuit 2010 Edition is hitting or has hit and I have loved these hot bitches in their bikinis they take pictures of since the 80s. Seriously, I’ve loved how insecure they’ve made other girls, I’ve loved the masturbation material, I love the fact that they would show a little nipple in a time before the internet, and I love that it has been free. I’ve never cared for sports or SI, but every year they come around and make it worth picking their garbage magazine up in the store…real basic but genius marketing like Victoria’s Secret…and I don’t care about promoting it, if anything they make it impossible for me to not promote it.

Here are two more models I want to fuck in video.

And Here’s Bar Refaeli’s Video….cuz she’s pretty fucking hot….

Posted in:Ana Ivanovic|Bar Refaeli|Sports Illustrated 2010

2010

12

Feb

Dave Navarro and his Teenage Groupie of the Day

I guess Dave Navarro gave up on teenage groupies and decided to stick it to some 28 year old communist immigrant dancer. The funny thing about immigrants is how they dress when they come here. It’s like they try to fit in so they follow their idea of what is popular, like in Izabelle Miko’s case, Avril Lavigne. So bitch goes off and does the stupid “Punk” streak and jumps on the first semi-famous dick she can find, which lucky for Navarro is him, because I’ve fucked dancers before, and it’s pretty next level, and they weren’t even immigrants trying to lock me down for citizenship, but were girls I either paid or got drnk enough to no say no. Their strong legs and flexibility is hard to fucking beat…it’s so good it makes you forget the bitch is using you to get noticed because she was in Coyote Ugly in 2000, back when she thought it was her big break and since then no one knows or remembers her, so the first ready and willing motherfuckin’ sex addict with any level of celebrity comes along, she jumps at the opportunity, cuz communist girls know to jump when the opportunity presents itself…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Dave Navarro|Groupie|Teen

2010

12

Feb

Kelly Clarkson is Lookin’ Good of the Day

I hear Kelly Clarkson gives a much better performance if they rub her mic in bacon fat. Shit drives her fucking bananas and she knows she can’t just run off stage in the middle of a show to pig the fuck out, so she gives it as hard as she can, jacked on pheromones from the smell of her one true love, knowing that if she just makes it thru the next hour, she’ll be in her hotel room bath eating her way thru life in no time. Seriously, at this size, it’s safe to say her love songs are about food, eating and sitting on her fat ass. Either way, it’s always nice to see girls you may have jerked off to become seriously fat chicks, not that you’ve ever jerked off to her, but I’m thinking at least one of you has, cuz I’ve always thought she was disgusting but the hate mail I get about her seems to make me think other people don’t….maybe because she’s the first American Idol representing America with her pant size.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Hot|Kelly Clarkson