The worst obvious joke that comes with the Golden Globes is when people call celebrity tit their Golden Globes, like if I said “Here’s Mariah Carey and Her Golden Globes at the Golden Globes”. Every year that joke, that I can’t even consider a joke because it’s so fucking stupid, gets played the fuck out, yet every year some asshole thinks it’s a good idea to recycle the shirt and I guess this year, I am that asshole…cuz here are Mariah Carey’s Golden Globes.
Trust me, this is all a product of me hating myself…
No matter how obviously desperate Jennifer Aniston is, she still bores the fuck out of me….she could be demonstrating how to use her vibrator/closest thing to a husband she’s got and I wouldn’t give a fuck because this kind of desperate bitch only targets specific caliber men, cuz she thinks she’s too good for the people who would actually get involved with her.
Here she is at last night’s Golden Globes, she decided to show off some leg for a little male attention, because she’s not so good at keeping male attention, all while getting older and not at the peak she was once at, and figures time is limited and if she doesn’t get someone locked in now, she may never get a man.
Her standards are too high and she thinks she’s better than she actually is and since that hasn’t done a whole lot of good for her, maybe she she take it down a couple of notches and accept that she’s not the hot pussy she thinks she is and a ton of virgin losers out there would die to crawl up her pussy and never leave it’s warm, moist aging side…..
America produces best selling artists by designing hit songs based on the psychology and chemistry of the human brain. Endless research has gone into what we retain, what we repeat and why shit is in my brain when I wake up, even when I don’t listen to the music, in some Josie and the Pussycat shit that is real life because all America cares about is makin’ money…no matter how ugly and annoying and bullshit Lady Gaga and her act is.
The UK, does things proper by attaching hot pussy to bad music, like they did with The Saturdays by putting a couple members of S Club 7 Junior also known as S Club 8 who you probably jerked off to when they were 11 and putting them together with some other hot pussy to give you music videos and press shots you can jerk off to.
Here is one of their members, named Frankie Sandford showing off her tits for you, because she’s nice like that.
I always respect piggy fucking people, like clearly fat people, who move like they aren’t fat because they either don’t realize they are fat, or just decide that they won’t let fat get in the fucking way because I am a fat person and I have enough trouble putting on my shoes, or getting up off the couch, or doing up my belt, or wearing pants that don’t have elastic waistbands.
That’s not to say that I actually respect this Snooki Jersey shore trash, because idiotic trash is never meant to be respected, but reality is that she doesn’t really annoy me at all, maybe because I don’t watch the show, but probably because she’s just loving every second of her fame like the cheesy fucking person she is and there’s nothing worth hating about that….
Here she is with her fat ass performing her own stunts…..
The paparazzi say these are pictures of Lindsay Lohan and I don’t really see it, because whatever the fuck is hiding under this hood, looks more like some kind of troll that some young, washed up, haggard starlet. Maybe it has to do with her feeling inadequate for not being allowed in the Golden Globes, forcing her to go on a rampage fucking up her face with botox and collagen and when she realized she had to leave her house to go get wasted in order to forget how miserable and useless she’s become on this Blue Monday, she got strategic in her clothes. If this is actually Lohan, her body is still hot enough for me, I just wish she was showing off a little more lesbian pussy, just to see if it still looks as haggard and meaty as it did back when she shoved every single dick in it….
It’s not secret that Mischa Barton is a wreck. She’s clearly addicted to something, her career has gone to fucking shit and she looks really fucking horrible, but it looks like she’s got a new job and that’s playing a hooker on Law and Order, something usually reserved for up and coming actresses you’ve never heard of, but I guess Mischa needed to be in front of camera, and she thought this role was fitting, since she’ll be doing this as a full time job in a few years after she burns through all her OC money. It’s good practice and I hear she’s been offering other cast and crew members 5 dollar blowjobs in back alleys cuz she needs the money. She’s a natural and here are the pics…
I hear it is the weekend, everyday is pretty much exactly the same for me, but I’m hoping this time weekend involves as many drunken naked vaginas as possible but unfortunately that’s usually only one naked vagina, a very large vagina that belongs to my wife that is only useful when I shove my hands inside it to keep me warm since we don’t have heat when she’s sleeping and I’m drunk and I am not really happy about that, but it’s the hand I’ve been dealt.
Here’s my new Facebook Since the Fuckers Disabled Me for No Reason Other than Racism ADD ME
Seriously – They deleted my profile and I need to get you all back ADD ME
If you haven’t added me – I hate you – But will give you another chance… ADD ME
Here are the stepLINKS you’ve been dealt….
Jimmy Kimmel Basically Puts His Foot Up Jay Leno’s Ass on Live TV Because Leno is a Greedy Fucking Piece of Shit I Hope Seriously Fails for Being so Fucking Disgustin…. GO
Carrie Prejean Proves She s aGoos Christian…By Showing Us All Her Nipples…Again GO
Lauren Pope is The Kind of DJ Slut I Want to See in a Club….Since Her Topless xis Much More Interesting that Ronson’s lesbianism and DJ AM’s broken dreams and addiction demos GO
Because Lord Knows You Don’t Have a Fucking Date This Weekend GO
If you can jerk off to these pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio’s hot mom body in lingerie, you’re either a 14 year old, or a fucking skilled masturbator, because in this era of internet porn I need a hell of a lot more pussy lip to get me going, even if that pussy lip was ravaged and beat the fuck up by passing a baby through it… This photoshopped bullshit just leaves me unsatisfied and annoyed because I want to see what her actual body looks like, because I know shit is pretty fucking good without the bullshit post production shit that makes it look like she’s a fucking plastic sex doll….that said here she is in some lingerie for some catalog….
Bonus – Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr for what I can only assume is the same catalog and she’s lookin’ alright….
I don’t know how recent this video is, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it, so I can only assume it’s been online forever. I know this app is obviosuly just a smart viral video, but I still envy the motherfucker for having that many people willing to get totally naked for the sake of his videos, I try my best to get girls to get naked on camera and they always refuse, so whoever is behind this is either a God, or gay, cuz girls trust gay dudes cuz they think they don’t have ulterior motives, even though they still put you on the internet, but it’s seen as art and not smut or some shit, and based on motherfuckers language I’m going with French, which is a lot like being gay, cuz it tricks bitches into thinking they are sensitive and romantic, despite being just as sleazy as me….
Who the fuck are the Saturdays and why the fuck are they such whores I want to fuck. I need to further investigate this trash on youtube to analyze their videos while masturbating, I’m wondering how bad their music is, cuz traditionally the hotter the band, the shittier the sound, but I’m far too hungover and impotent to bother, but I’ll let you do it for me, cuz you have nothing better to do with your time and I guess time is the one main benefits of being a fucking loser with no life, friends, job, hobbies….yo have all this free time in the world that you don’t know how to use….there’s only so much chronic masturbating to fill up your days….and by the looks of The Saturdays….