I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2009

18

Aug

Lil’ Kim Performing With Her Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

Lil Kim is a whore, not that you didn’t already know that, not that we actually know that she is one because for the most part girls who are this sexual on the outside are really fucking garbage in the bedroom, not that Lil Kim is really sexual on the outside, she looks more like a plastic Asian sex doll, but the way she presents herself is pure whore. A real brainless marketing strategy for anyone with a pussy.

Here is Some Video of her Tits talking bullshit to some Romanian dude because whenever I hear that Romanian accent I get excited and assume it is going to end in gypsies juggling beach balls with bears at some traveling circus.

Speaking of Romania, I once knew a Romanian dude who had a 14 inch penis and everytime we got carded buying beer or cigarettes he’d pull his dick out for the clerk and say “does this look underage”….a dick probably too small to touch the walls of Lil Kim’s massive meaty vagina…..that she’s Poppin in this video in Romania

And here are some pictures of her performing and rockin’ a mic like it was cock promising to relaunch her career….

Posted in:Lil Kim|Tits

2009

18

Aug

Whitney Port and Her Legs of the Day

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Whitney Port is that cunt from the Hills who isn’t all that much to look at, but at least she’s got legs that I wouldn’t mind chopping off and putting on this hot amputee chick I know. Not because I am psycho and think about dismembering girls but because I’m a humantiarian like that, you know just doin’ my part to help the less fortunate, in a kind of Robin Hood taken from those who don’t deserve it and giving to those who do…..cuz this amputee with legs like this would be a fuckin’ 10, while Whitney Port with legs like this is still nothing but a piece of shit.

Posted in:Legs|Whitney Port

2009

18

Aug

Karina Smirnoff and Her Obnoxious Love Pictures of Love of the Day

1 Comment »

I probably have no heart, or maybe its no soul, or maybe I just get embarrassed for other people when they act like assholes. I am also disgusted by outrageous displays of affection. I find it horse shit because I know that in my life I’m sure I’ve experienced love, but never have I suggested we go out there and document the shit in some obnoxious Sears portrait.

Over the years, I have been forced to deal with friends and their girlfriends who took on this psycho behavior, where all of a sudden the bitch gets it in her head that they are going to get married and spend the rest of their lives together, where she starts taking him out to buy bed sheets and plates for when they live together, or when she goes so far as to complain about them never having pictures of them together, forcing him to get suited up and pretend he loves her while feeling like a total asshole the entire time. Cuz no man would suggest documenting his love this way….men are more into documenting their love by filming them fucking a bitch up the ass.

Either way, I would tell them that their girls were high maintenance and needed a lot of work and attention and the fact that she wants these photoshoots is a fuckin’ warning sign that your life with her will be all about her. She’s not gonna be the kind of bitch who brings beers out to you and your boys while you’re watching your neighbor’s daughters tanning, she’s the kind of girl who is gonna want 100 percent focus on her at all times and that this is just a glimpse into that cunt behavior that is going to either make you want to kill yourself, or kill her then yourself.

They never listened, I’d be coined a bad influence and they wouldn’t be allowed to see me, I wouldn’t get invited to the weddings, but I would get to see their obnoxious marriage website where these staged loving tacky garbage pictures would be displayed next to the story of how they met and 5 years later while going thru the divorce, they all come crawlin’ back to me cuz I know all the good whores willing to suck dick for an amount someone who just gave a bitch everything he ever had could afford.

Here’s Karina Smirnoff, the hot Dancing With the Stars dancer and her boyfriend/fiance in some staged love pictures to celebrate their love to the world or some shit and they whole thing is trashier than her mail order catalog ad her chose her from…

Posted in:Karina Smirnoff|Pictures|Wedding

2009

17

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

7 Comments »

‘

I got a threatening email from Playboy…..

Dear Sir or Madam:
 
It has come to our attention that you are utilizing copyrighted images of Heidi Montag on your website http://www.drunkenstepfather.com/index.php/2009/08/13/heidi-montags-playboy-pictures-of-the-day/.
 
THE USE OF THESE IMAGES IS UNAUTHORIZED.  IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY WITH THE TERMS SET FORTH BELOW BY MIDNIGHT TONIGHT, AUGUST 14, 2009, WE WILL CONTACT YOUR ISP AND HAVE THE IMAGES REMOVED PURSUANT TO THE DMCA.

1.      Remove ALL UNAUTHORIZED images of Ms. Montag by 12 A.M (midnight) today, August 14, 2009; AND

2.      IF YOU ELECT, You may display one (1) image on your website provided that you link the image to www.playboy.com/heidi .
 
This notice is not intended to and shall not waive or prejudice any rights and remedies that Playboy may have at law, in equity or otherwise. Any and all such rights and remedies are hereby expressly reserved.
 
Regards,
Rebecca Blabolil
IP Enforcement Specialist

So I wrote back….

Rebeccers,
I will take them down because I don’t give a fuck about Heidi Montag and wish your spread were pictures of her getting tortured, or maybe of her career coming to an end.
You on the other hand Rebecca, write letters with such precision, professionalism and conviction. I am totally hard right now and would love for you to tell me what you are wearing, but more importantly, what you are doing to yourself, because if I was there, I’ll tell you this much, you’d be pinned up against the wal, with me inside you from behind, begging for me to fuck you deeper, because even in my fantasies I have a small penis.
I love you, send pics….

Regards,
Jesus Martinez
IP Enforcement Specialist Lover

Here are my stepLINKS….


Because Slut is the Best 4 Letter Word I Know
GO

Naomi Campbell Upskirt
GO

Since Everyone is Talking About Mad Men…
GO

Sexy Model Pics Of Melody
GO

Since My Step Daught Had a Sex Dream About Jeremy Piven Last Night Here’s a Good Interview With Him That May Inspire Her to Stalk, Marry, Then Divorce Him So I Don’t Have To Work Anymore
GO

I’ll Give Jesse Jane Somewhere to Put That Tongue
GO

TRAILER PARK BOYS 2 TRAILER
GO

And More Naomi Campbell
GO

Prince Harry is Almost as Bald as I Am
GO

Flowchart for Determining if You Should Get a Divorce
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Take That, OctoMom!
GO

George Clooney is Gonna SUE!
GO

Sara Harding Stops Trains With Her Ass Shaking
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Seriously, What the Fuck is Wrong With Tyra Banks?
GO

Hmmmm Tanlines Can Actually Be Kind of Hot
GO

Ahhhhhh Emma Watson
GO

DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY HAS NEVER HAD MORE TRUTH THAN IT DOES NOW!
STEVEN TYPER WHAT THE FUCK!
GO

George Michael Got Arrested
GO

Two on Two Naked Oil Wrestling!
GO

How Awesome is This Kid?
GO

Lucie and Her Favorite Toy
GO

Man or Women, Place Your Bets
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Ahhhh Tori Lane
GO

Fuck You Lily Allen
GO

Carmen Electra Looking Like a Whore And Doing What She Does Best
GO

Malene Espensen Topless Lingerie
GO

Sensasional Adrean
GO

Princess Blueyez Will Make You Wanna Work It
GO

Evan Rachel Wood Looks Slutty and I Like It
GO

Bear Jumps in a Backyard Pool in San Dimas – VIDEO
GO

These Babes Will Make Your Dick Hurt
GO

Abbey Brookes is Worth Beating Off To
GO

JONAS BROTHERS DEATH METAL
GO

Human Powered Hovercraft
GO

Go On, You Know To
GO

Kid Freaks Out Over Vanessa Hudgen’s Tittay’s
GO

April Gutierrez Crowned Miss COED August 2009
GO

Do You Live This Song As Much As I Do
GO

Atlas is One Lucky Guy
GO

Absolutely 100% Guarantee You Can Fuck This Big Tittied Porn Star (For $1500)
GO

Eva Mendes’ Big Black Nipples
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

17

Aug

Naomi Campbell isn’t Wearing Underwear of the Day

5 Comments »

Someone sent me this picture of Naomi Campbell flashing her genitals at some party because they know I like black girls and creeping on girls on balconies.

I do have black girl fetish that I’ve never been able to live out because black girls don’t seem to like fat poor drunk mexicans at least not when they are me. After inspecting this picture, I think the key word the reader who sent this in missed out on was GIRL, cuz he definitely got the black part right, but there is no way that’s a vagina, or at least like any vagina I have ever seen, it’s goot be testicle or cock peeking out of her pants, or maybe it’s the alien from ALIEN, cuz it looks like it’s waving at me or some shit and I am scared.

Posted in:Naomi Campbell|No Underwear

2009

17

Aug

Clever Teacher of the Day

1 Comment »

Before dropping out of highschool, I was always the first to call out a teacher for being a failure in life. When they’d mark my papers or tests and I did shitty, I’d turn to them and ask them what the fuck they know, because if they were so smart, they probably wouldn’t be teaching. It’s that whole “those who can’t, teach” bullshit. But I guess I was wrong and teachers are actually pretty fuckin’ clever, they are just perverts who like young girls and being in a position gives them something to jerk off to when they get home after work, and sometimes if they are lucky, they can take them across stateline to fuck the shit out of them where 16 is legal. So I finally found a teacher that has all taught us something we can all use.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

17

Aug

Murderer Sex Tape of the Day

3 Comments »

[VIDEO REMOVED CUZ I DON’T WANNA GET SUED, ]

After watching this Rebecca Gayheart sex tape, I wish I was the little kid she ran the fuck over, so I wouldn’t have to experience this boring fuckin drug induced naked threesome hot tub party with her husband Eric Dane and some other slut named Kari Ann Peniche.

It is censored, it was posted by Gawker, I don’t know where they got it from and I am too lazy to hunt down the original, but when I get it I will post it here, cuz I know you all wanna see McSteamy’s dick, you gang of fuckin’ homos.

This is obviously a publicity stunt. A really boring publicity stunt….She should be spending her time running over kids and not getting naked…Enjoy…

Posted in:Rebecca Gayheart|Sex Tape

2009

17

Aug

Shauna Sand’s Family Day at the Beach of the Day

3 Comments »

Shauna Sand spent a wholesome day with her kids at the beach and she didn’t forget her “makes me feel like I am still young and have it going on, you know like back when Playboy was knockin on my door because stupid fake tits were relevant, and people cared about seeing them naked” boyfriend who she clearly has on payroll. She needs him around to grab her ass, otherwise the silicone gets all hard and doesn’t fall nicely, it’s pretty much his job and orders from the surgeon.
We’ve all seen her in this bikini before, it’s boring, repetitive and the only excitement it all brings is what the hell is her daughter going to be like when she turns 18, will she take her mom’s lead and be a dirty, disgusting whore, or did has being brought up with money, given her a better outlook on life, one where she is embarrassed by this trash leading to her not inviting Shauna Sand to her wedding, I guess we’ll have to wait and find out. Stay tuned.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Family|Shauna Sand

2009

17

Aug

Charlize Theron Makes the Wrong Bathing Suit Choice of the Day

5 Comments »

I just did a post on Madonna making the right choice in bathing suits and now I’m doing a post on Charlize Theron making the wrong choice in bathing suits, leading me to believe that I should start a new website giving beach and watersport fashion advice, since I’m a fuckin’ expert on the shit, at least a self-proclaimed expert on the shit, where my logic is a complex as saying if you’re hot put on less clothes and if you’re disgusting, old, weathered, fat cover that shit up cuz none of us want to see it and in Charlize Theron’s case, while she walks along the beach, only steps away from being wet and splashing around in the surf, wearing this outfit is just fuckin’ wrong and unfair to the people who rent your movies and look at your Playboy spread for inspiration and a better tomorrow. Dressing like you’re an accountant going to a fuckin company picnic is boring, now take off your fuckin pants you South African whore.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Charlize Theron

2009

17

Aug

Madonna Makes the Right Bathing Suit Choice of the Day

No Comments »

I am definitely not the ideal parent, you know the kind of guy you’d want your kids to look up to as a mentor and advisor. I’m not the person you’d want teaching your kids life lessons and important things like how to treat other people, or how to drink without puking, but that’s okay, because I don’t have kids of my own to fuck up.

Madonna on the otherhand does and I think bringing her 20 year old fuck toy into her kids’ life some serious asshole behavior, that’s the kind of shit that will turn Lourdes into some kind of daddy issue whore, mimicking her mother and ending up with a pussy that has seen more cock than my uncle’s chicken farm, not that that’s a big deal, especially considering those are the only kinds of girls who have sex with me, and the fact that Madonna’s got staff to take care of the kids and to let them know that what their mommy does is wrong and that she’s a horrible, vile person who I am ashamed I ever masturbated to, but the one thing she did do right is her choice in bathing suits, because a covered up Madonna is a far better Madonna than one in a bikini. Good job, you whore. Let’s hope you drowned.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Madonna|Swim