2009
29
Jun
It was the BET awards and I’m not white or suburban enough for that shit, but I am hood enough to fall in love with every black chick I meet, whether it’s being featured in local hip hop video cameos or hitting up the hip hop club, I’m there, mouth dropped, lookin’ in amazement at the kind of asses this girls are made with, so amazed that sometimes I forget they have tits, until one of them comes a long in a see-thru shirt to remind me.
2009
29
Jun
I remember asking someone who was a few degrees of separation from Sophie Monk if she could let her know I want her to sit on my fuckin face and finger my asshole until I fall asleep, but she told me not to bother giving her any attention because she’s fuckin’ useless, crazy and getting fat.
I think it had more to do with the girl who was a few degrees of separation from Sophie Monk, didn’t want to admit she was talking to some dude from a website because it’s a desperate look, but not as desperate as me trying to get some girl who works for this bitch to tell her I want her to fart in my mouth just so I can taste what that mom ass is bakin’.
Maybe I’m won over cuz I never had a mom, maybe cuz I find something about her hot, maybe it’s cuz she’s accessible, but whatever it is, no matter how fat she gets, I’ll always be willing to hit up an all you can eat buffet with her, as long as it ends in me waking up with the Paris Hilton strain of herpes she has from her fiance fuckin’ around on her….
Here are the pics…
Posted in:Sloppy|Sophie Monk
2009
29
Jun
I refuse to go see Transformers partially because I don’t give a fuck about those kinds of movies and haven’t seen the first one, but also because I don’t like the public humiliation of sitting in that theater amongst a whole lot of loser virgin dudes, because I like being around vagina. That’s why I’m into going to those Highschool Musical, Bring It On, Miley Cyrus jams, because that’s where you get looked at like a sex offender by all the 14 year olds and their parents, and if you’re lucky, they don’t notice you jerkin off.
That said, this Isabel Lucas whore blew me the fuck away, she looks good, and is a solid strategy to seduce the loser virgins into buying the DVD and hitting the theaters again, over and over, until they realize that no matter how many times they see the shit, bitch isn’t gonna jump out of the screen and go home with them. Word.
Posted in:Isabel Lucas|Water
2009
29
Jun
They are reporting that Gisele is pregnant, I guess that means we can all expect her on Oprah for being the first official pregnant man, not just some fake ass bootleg transexual frontin’ like it didn’t still has a pussy and just dresses like a dude like the last one.
Yes, talking about Gisele being a man is played out, but according to Tom Brady, so is his asshole from getting fucked up the ass every fuckin’ night by her. It is the football way….
You’d have to be into anal sex with men to rock these shorts, just yesterday I saw some gay dude who was getting down with gay pride walking around in a leather pair of booty shorts and nothing else….you would have liked it…homo
2009
29
Jun
I like Janice Dickinson cuz she looks all kinds of crazy, and all kinds of crazy leads to insanity in the bedroom, like the kind of woman who pretty much takes charge of you in the and leaves you broken hearted, limping and humiliated, while she sits there sippin’ her cocktail and smoking her cigarette. Like the girl who will fist a dude while spitting in his face and calling him a worthless piece of shit faggot, before jumpin on his dick, pretty much hitting him like a fuckin’ school bus, unsure of what the fuck happened and I am not sure if that makes sense, but it does to me and it’s amazing.
Here are her hard nipples.
Posted in:Hard Nipple|Janice Dickinson
2009
29
Jun
Here is further evidence that girls are gold diggers, because I have seen that Everyone Loves Raymond show and shit made me want to kill myself, and not in a good way, like I want to do the world a favor and end my existance, but in a horribly savage way that involves heavy pain, and slow death, because the world is a horrible fucking place that produces this kind of garbage, but for some reason he’s managed to get Pussy….and I bet it has a whole lot to do with his bank account and not so much his work on that show….and if I find out that women would watch him in action and touch themselves…I may take myself up on that whole painful suicide plan, but for now it’s up in the fuckin’ air…
Posted in:Bikini|Brad Garrett
2009
29
Jun
There’s something nice about girls who wear bikini tops instead of bras, it’s like they are prepared for something that none of us are in on, whether it be a flash flood, or maybe an emergency situation that involves saving a drowning kid from a public pool, or a dying pigeon in a fountain, or why ever the fuck else you’d wear a bikini to get your nails done and I’m not complaining, because I like bikinis, just not on me, they make me look fat, but so does pretty much everything else, including leaving the house.
I have no idea who Ashley Green is but you can google the shit as well as I can, probably even better, since my computer has aids, so it will give you something to do. You’re welcome.
Posted in:Ashley Green|Bikini
2009
29
Jun
If I had known that I would have been in a club with Lady Gaga last week, I probably would have played things out a little different, and instead of grabbing her ass around her secuirty guard’s back, and demanding a drink, only for her cunt fuck face to give me a dirty look, like she’s not a ugly piece of shit girl I would normally piss on if she hadn’t tricked the world and got herself famous, and I would have suicide bombed her fuckin’ pussy.
When I see her, I feel angry, and when I see her pulling stunts like this with her stupid hair piece to hide her accidented face and I just want her dead.
Posted in:Disgusting|Joke|Lady Gaga|Stupidities
2009
29
Jun
I know part of you wants to knock up the first bitch who comes your way so that she can never fuckin’ leave you and you won’t have to be alone anymore, but seriously, after lookin’ at these Coleen Rooney pics, you’ll realize that it’s a bad fuckin’ idea, but then again, any girl you land will probably already look like she’s pregnant, because you can only attract the lonely fat ones, who don’t need your contribution, I mean other than for the whole pregnancy to force you to stay with them for the rest of their fat bitch life as to not feel alone, and I guess that makes you motherfuckers soul mates….
Posted in:Bikini|Coleen Rooney|Pregnant
2009
29
Jun
Lohan’s birthday party wasn’t hosted by me, like it probably should have been, I mean if she wanted shit to be a little less cheesy and a lot more homeless, but I guess when you do it in Vegas, cheesy is totally what you’re into, and when you’re Lohan, so is drugs and other girl’s vaginas, I mean not that I know that for a fact, because she’s playing to cool to answer my fuckin’ emails that I’ve been sending her the last 2 weeks and shit is breaking my fuckin’ heart, but not as much as seeing her in this bikini that looks like it can’t give me a boner, even if i was railing lines of Viagra all fuckin’ day….maybe it’s got somehting to the swollen vagina in her bikini bottoms that looks like it is throbbing, pulsating, convulsing, and ready to attack, suffocate and murder a motherfucker that it crosses paths with….
Here she is a little covered up….
Posted in:Bikini|Birthday|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized
