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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2009

Jun

Hilary Duff is a Porker of the Day

23 Comments »

It’s no secret that Hilary Duff is gaining weight. She’s not that little teen popstar she once was. She’s a fuckin’ lady and she’s filling out like a party girl who drops out of the scene, quits the rave drugs, and gets a 9 to 5 job, boyfriend and a seriously love for baking. I hear Hilary only did it cuz she needed the padding for all the hockey gangbangs her boyfriend puts her through, but I think that just may be a bad joke I’ve got on repeat everytime I do a Hilary Duff post.

Posted in:Fat|Hilary Duff

2009

Jun

New Young British Lesbian Couple of the Day

2 Comments »

Here is a post you really won’t give a fuck about, but I accidentally downloaded the pictures thinking they were of some random UK bitch actually getting caught dyking out, but instead I got some lesbian tree huggin’ date in the fuckin’ park. The blonde one who looks like she is into motorcycles, combat boots, ripping off dicks because her mother died of a heroin overdose because of penis, is named Pixie Geldof, and there’s no real shocker that she’s into eating cunt. The other one is some aspiring song writer, who is Anne Heche-ing this bitch because she knows her dad has all kinds of ins in the record industry, but when you look like Pixie, you might as well use any bargaining chip you have, even if it is false promises of hook ups from your dad.

The the fact that I know all this, depresses me, but not as much as the fact that I just made this totally useless fucking post. I mean useless unless you think teenage girls rubbing each other from head to toe with their tongues, you know their naked bodies pushed up against each other in the girl’s locker room at the Gym before swimming class, or yoga class or pretty much any fuckin class, or on a field day, or even in a bar or bar bathroom, or pretty much anywhere and under any circumstance, even if panties are left on is hot, like I do.

Posted in:Lesbian|Pixie Geldof|Remi

2009

Jun

Megan Fox and All Her GQ Pictures of the Day

12 Comments »

I know people find Megan Fox so fucking hot. You know constantly referencing her as the hottest bitch in Hollywood, while all I see is this Angelina Jolie impersonator with shitty tattoos and a lame boyfriend who has had a ton of plastic surgery, but you know what, it’s not about me.

Yesterday, I was talking to some 17 year old girl, as I do, you know to get in good with them when they are young, so that by the time they are 18, they feel comfortable enough to let you go down on them one night while drunk, despite the fact that 18 year old girls these days have been fucking since they were 7 and are dirtier than dirty 30 year olds you meet in AA.

Either way, she was going off about Megan Fox and how amazing she is and how she loves her views on sexuality and how she would totally scissor this bitch all night fucking long, and I realized that sci-fi dudes are not the only ones who jerk off this this cunt, but everyone does.

Here is her entire set from GQ. I posted a few of them the other day, but figured why not give you all there is….

Posted in:GQ|Megan Fox

2009

Jun

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass Hangs with Brittny Gastineau’s Fat Tits of the Day

5 Comments »

One day, not too long ago, a fat ass met it’s soulmate who was a fat set of tits. It wasn’t a conventional love affair, but they somehow knew they belonged together, not that were going to take over the world together, but they would definitely go out for ice cream, because ice cream is really all they have in common, but in this case, it is a match made in heaven and that bond is more than enough, because ice cream and really anything sweet is such a huge part of both of their lives….

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

Jun

Katy Perry is Disgusting at Some Event of the Day

10 Comments »

This girl is famous. She is the same girl you didn’t notice in your high school class, not even when gym class rolled around and she put on a tight shirt, hoping some of the boys would look her way, because tit was all she had going for her, but instead the plan backfired and got her teased harder, laughed at better and emotionally crushed, leaving her home alone on Prom Night trying to figure out how she’ll get her revenge on all of us,

So she came up with this Popstar idea, despite all odds, but fueled with the need to prove herself and get her revenge on all the haters, she didn’t take no for an answer, and broke down barriers, like her busted fucking face, her lack of both dancing and singing talent and some miracle made her who she is today, luckily putting her on the international scene so more people out there can take a shot at her, and hopefully break her the fuck down and knock her off this high horse, cuz she doesn’t belong to be on a fuckin’ High Horse, she should be outback shoveling someone else’s high horse’s shit stroking it when no one is looking, wishing one day it will belong to her, before getting kicked in the head by it and ending up in a vegetable only to be taken off life support by her family, in some kind of celebration, cuz even they hate her. Seriosuly. Make her go away.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2009

Jun

Jessica White Isn’t White of the Day

5 Comments »

Good one. I know. That’s why I don’t get paid the big bucks, like I was some kind of Sports Illustrated model for having good legs. If only life was as easy for all of us. Instead I walked into a bar last night and drank an half full pitcher of beer that was sitting on a table and that was abandoned by god knows who, because I am an optimist but also because I like stepping up and taking responsibility for things people leave behind. In a lot of ways, drinking that dirty beer was fuckin’ heroic.

Posted in:Black|Jessica White|Legs

2009

Jun

Miranda Kerr Naked in Rolling Stone of the Day

1 Comment »

I fell in love with a model the other day. She was working inside some trendy restaurant, while I was sitting outside trying to get people to give me their doggy bags, without realizing that 99% of people don’t leave trendy restaurants with leftovers, I guess it’s frowned upon.

I guess this tall, model lookin bitch who was probably working as a waitress in Canada because she lacked confidence and thought she wasn’t good enough to move to LA or NYC to become professional, kept coming outside for a cigarette and I figured I’d chat her up, knowing she had no self esteem despite having an amazing body, unfortunately, she didn’t have low enough self esteem to acknowledge me. I just kept trying to chat her up and she just kept lookin the other way. I feel like Miranda Kerr would probably do the same and here she is in some pics for Rolling Stone, wearing nothing but bush.

Here is Miranda Kerr Ringing a Bell at some Promo Event the other day…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|Naked|Rolling Stone

2009

Jun

Sara Jean Underwood Showing Off Stomach of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s some Playboy model at some event that is obviously feeling the recession and can only really afford to bring in some low fucking level talent to work whatever the fuck she’s working in some weird 90s middrift top. This is one step away from where she belongs, handing out condom samples to high school students, explaining how important safe sex is because she didn’t think condoms were that big of a deal but now her pussy won’t stop dripping green shit.

Hey man, I tried. That’s all I can really do, what the fuck else do you expect me to say about some Playmate in non-nude pictures at a fucking event. I haven’t left my house in 4 days, I can’t really relate to decent blonde pussy, I mean other than via masturbation fantasies, so I’m leaving this post as is.

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood|Stomach

2009

Jun

Kendra Wilkinson Talking About Her New Show of the Day

1 Comment »

I didn’t really watch this whore interview, I mean whole interview, because the second I heard her and her mom whining at each other about furniture, I was ready to suffocate both of these cunts, ideally with my cock at the same time, but unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of equipment, but it’s a fantasy and I can do anything I want. Either way, if you’re interested in hearing more about Kendra, or if you’re more into Los Angeles morning television hosts with their raspy cocaine huffin’, chain smokin’ voice and cleavage, who I would wake up to a fuck myself watching every single day, while she sucks up to E! about how great their programming is, hoping to get found and picked up onto a real network, because she’s not getting any younger, and moving to LA was not meant to be to land some local bullshit show, watch this clip

Posted in:Kendra Wilkinson|New Show

2009

Jun

Heather Graham at The Hangover Premiere of the Day

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I hate admitting that I find things funny because it fucks with my hating on everything, but the movie The Hangover trailer made me laugh. Historically, when movie trailers make me laugh, the movie itself doesn’t, I guess they use all their decent jokes to lure people, or maybe the stupidity in small doses is acceptable, but after 30 minute of the shit, you want to fuckin’ kill yourself, and when you sit there just waiting for the funny joke you saw in the trailer to play out, just to keep you from wanting to kill youself, you know you should have listened to your instincts and hated it from the second you heard about it, instead of letting their marketing win you over.

So that’s not an endorsement, that’s just my relationship with them movie The Hangover, and here is Heather Graham at the premiere, busting out of her dress like this was 1999 and she still had the hottest tits in the industry, and you gotta love her for that, at least I know I do. It’s like longevity thanks to perseverance, so don’t give up on us now baby, those natural tits can carry you into the next 2 decades….

Posted in:Heather Graham|Premiere|The Hangover