I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

25

Feb

Darlene’s Still Got It Going On of the Day

For those of you who don’t know, the show Roseanne used to make me sick to the fucking stomach.

I’d watch the shit to feel better about myself and to motivate me not to eat junk food and for some reason was compelled to tune in every fucking week, probably to see if Roseanne or Dan would die of a massive heart attacks while filming, and not because listening to her struggle for a breath while badly delivering lines, never expecting to end up marrying someone that looked like her. Life is mean that way.

Speaking of life being mean, I never understood was how the fuck Darlene was allowed on TV, not to mention allowed out of the fucking house. I mean seriously, this is the kind of girl you leave in the fucking woods on the way home from the hospital after your wife gave birth to her. They must have thought that the show already had such disgusting and unfortunate cast, that they might as well throw another into the mix.

It has to be impossible for even the dirtiest of perverts to jerk off to her mutant face that only another woman could appreciate, hence the reason why she’s a lesbian, the kind of lesbian who has her own baby and plans on raising it with two mothers like a irresponsible person would do, because they need revenge on the world for being born lookin’ this way.

Either way, when starting this post I was going to leave it at “Oh Fuck”, but went off on this rant for the one guy out there who found her worth fucking, and this is her now.

I’m just joking, I’m sure she’s a beautiful and kind person, I’m just jealous I can’t be with her.

Posted in:Disgusting|Sara Gilbert

2009

25

Feb

Some London Fashion Week Weirdness of the Day

So all you fashionistas probably already know that it’s fashion week in London…or maybe that it was fashion week in london…that it is going to be fashion week in London and some weird Goth clothing company had this fashion show, that was topless, see thru and all around weird.

Now I’m the kind of guy who hates fucking vampires and obscure kids in black who hate the world and shoot up schools, but I do like tits, and in not wanting to perpetuate this men in platform shoes and make-up, industrial music bullshit, I tried to not post these pics, but the tits won this fight, again.

Posted in:Fashion Week|Freaks|Got|London|Nipples|Tits

2009

25

Feb

Kim Kardashian in Some Pedicure Porn of the Day

I’ve posted this Kim Kardashian pedicure porn a few times before. It’s pretty fucking repetitive. I mean following some fat chick on her mundane daily errands for vanity is something I won’t do with my wife, so I don’t see why I am doing it over the internet for this whore, but it looks like I’m in too deep. The truth is that Kardashian gets her nails done because her feet are the only thing on her body that fits into the same size as skinny chicks, so she has to take serious care of these fucking things, because if they were to get all jacked up and fungus from neglect, since she can’t see or reach her toes, she can’t wash them properly, gangrene could set in and she could need to get the shit amputated, leaving her with nothing that fits into the same size as a skinny chick. If she really was out on an errand for vanity, she’d probably be better off going to the liposuction doctor.

Either way, here are the pics and video because you food fetishists will like this.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Pedicure|Porn

2009

25

Feb

A Day With Mary Kate Olsen of the Day

If you wonder what self-made Billionaire Mary Kate Olsen does in a given day, it’s pretty intense, at least it is for me, because I have a hard enough time getting off my couch, but she went from parking garage to car, back to parking garage back to car over and over again and looked like a magical gnome with a heroin addiction while doing it. I feel like if I ran into her on the street, I wouldn’t want to rape her, like I do with most girls I see, I’d be more into following her home in hopes of finding the way into a magical forest. I’m not one of those fantasy RPG virgin motherfuckers, it’s just that watching Mary Kate kinda makes me want to be one, because her mousey scurry creeps me the fuck out and makes me want to quit women, turn asexual and collect action figures and other comic related toys. She’s just that sexy.

Posted in:Mary-Kate Olsen|Scary

2009

25

Feb

Marisa Miller and Some Old Fitting Room Pictures of the Day

So it turns out that Marisa Miller was also over-rated in 2003, when she was just some freckled faced, fake titted, fit chick, who probably never deserved to get to the level of success she has reached, but who has managed to reach that level of success she has, so I assume some of you like her and that’s not the reason I am posting these pictures, because I know you like anything with a pussy, fit or fat, hot or not, born man or woman, shit just doesn’t matter to you. I am posting it because I want to. So fuck you.

Posted in:Bikini|Fitting Room|Lingerie|Marisa Miller|old|Tits

2009

25

Feb

Michael Phelps’ Montreal Girlfriend of the Day

I was eating a sandwich the other day and overheard the staff of the sandwich place talking about how Michael Phelps was there over the weekend with some local chick he’s dating. I started casually asking some people I know about it, not because I care, but because I wanted to know who would see past that dude’s mangled face for the American hero with fish-like stamina he is, because I had a feeling pretty much any girl would see past his mangled face to get with America’s boy wonder.

Some dude I know, claims he knows the girl, he told me they met in Florida but didn’t know if they were serious or not, he didn’t even know if they were fucking or not, but as far as I’m concerned, if you’re flying into Montreal during the winter for a girl, when you have the option of pretty much every girl out there, shit’s probably pretty serious or at least pretty fuckin’ good.

Here are some pictures that may be of her, that are ripped off her Facebook. I don’t even know her name, so they really could be anyone, or at least someone who worked her way into hanging with T.I., Young Jeezy, and Phelps. Probably making it the best vacation ever!

Let’s just hope she doesn’t get soft and trust him too much. You know, believe the lies he tells her about being the one and their future life of luxury, you know blinding her from getting some some artistic nudes of him that she can use for blackmail down the road after he cheats on her, because you never let a hope and fantasy of what you wish will happen, make you turn your back on opportunity that presents itself today. At least that’s why my grandmother always told me along with other life lessons like “never suck dick for free” and “condoms are for pussies” and most importantly…I never had a grandmother, but you get what I’m saying. Right?

Posted in:Girlfriend|Michael Phelps

2009

25

Feb

Octomom Porno Could Be in the Near Future of the Day

In Vivid overload for the day, you know since I just posted that Meggan Malone video she made for me and plugged their show and movies because I felt it would increase my chances of marrying her, I got this in my inbox….

Vivid is custom-developing a script for Nadya Suleman called Octopussy. “It would feature Nadya and eight men,” he said. “We have confirmed that she has seen our offer and are waiting to hear back from her. For one million dollars we expect 88 minutes of full hardcore sex.” Then he added, “With her lips she would have been perfect to star in Vivid’s new reality show Deeper Throat.” Source

Here’s the official press release….

VIVID ENTERTAINMENT OFFERS MOTHER OF OCTUPLETS UP TO $1-MILLION PLUS HEALTH INSURANCE TO MAKE A MOVIE

LOS ANGELES – (February 25, 2009) – Nadya Suleman, the controversial mom who made history after giving birth to octuplets, is being offered a deal of up to $1-million plus a year of health insurance for her family to make a movie with Vivid Entertainment, the world’s leading adult film company.

“Nadya obviously needs income to assure that her children are secure so we are offering her up to $1-million to act in one movie,” said Steven Hirsch co-chairman of Vivid. “We’ve had many single mothers work with us over the years and their income from Vivid has been very important to them. We would schedule production so that the movie could be shot in less than one week.”

According to recent reports Nadya’s PR agency has stopped representing her, a book agent decided not to handle her story and she’s being derided by ordinary citizens who say that taxpayers will wind up paying her hospital tab and future expenses.

“There is a tremendous amount of interest in Nadya and we can help her capitalize on that interest and put some real cash in her bank account,” said Mr. Hirsch. As with our Vivid Girls, she would have her choice of partners, including ‘Octodad.'”

Mr. Hirsch said a movie staring Nadya would be distributed under the Vivid-Celeb imprint. Vivid-Celeb has released titles starring Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian and most recently, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty, who chose the studio to make her transition from NBC daytime star to hardcore porn star with “Faithless,” which has become a top seller since its debut on February 4th.

Now, I get why running after some disgusting mentally unstable girl, attention craving, disaster of a person, who is all over the fucking news makes sense, but the idea of 8 dicks inside one vagina, is kinda fucking gay, even if her vagina is a cavernous hole that can fit it. The thought of what this stretched out pig of a woman who needs to be institutionalized makes me fucking sick, yet intrigued and I hope she bites because we already know she’s a slut and one million dollars will buy a lot of formula for a lot of babies..

Posted in:Octomom|Octopussy|Porno

2009

25

Feb

America Ferrera Reunited with Her Family of the Day

I get very little satisfaction ripping into someone who plays someone ugly on TV. It’s like she already knows that shit and made a career exploiting it, so me doing this is just beating a dead fucking horse…or should I saw dog….

Here are some pictures of America Ferrera being reunited with her long lost family. I heard back in Mexico, her father was shot while looking through a dumpster for food to feed the family and her mother died of rabies, forcing Ferrara to fend for her brother and sister to survive. They went from town to town, people violated her, one drunk guy even fucked her behind some bar, but one day, she randomly got approached by four white people with nets and hooks and shit, she snarled at them, but they persisted to scoop her up and throw her in the back of a van, and after a quarantine, a series of shots, a nice southern California family adopted her. Shaved her and groomed her and fed her the best kibble around, giving her the opportunity to get on TV, starting as a stunt dog and ending up winning a fucking emmy. A rags to riches story, but for the person who seemingly had everything, one thing was unresolved…her brother and sister she vowed to care for were left behind, so with her Hollywood TV star money, she hired a team of people to find them and finally, after many years, they were brought back together. I think my eyes are starting to well up. Yep. That’s a tear. Wow, what a touching rags to riches story….

Posted in:America Ferrera|Ugly

2009

25

Feb

Meggan Malone Teaches You How To Throw The Dice of the Day

I don’t know if you remember an amazing moment in this site’s history, when Vivid contract girl, Meggan Malone taught you how to dance , but she I do. I watch that shit on repeat, over and over, almost on a nightly basis because she says the site’s name in it. That means she knows I exist and that’s better than any porn she’s done.

Well, she’s back, and she brought her amazing fucking ass to the internet today and lucky for me, she said my site name as she throws the dice and that works for me …

If you want to see more of my internet girlfriend in action, you know, when she’s not staying up into all hours of the night having cyber sex with me and typing my site URL over and over again, she’s in the “Deeper Throat” TV series on Showtime Saturday nights at 11:30pm or in an actual porn movie called “Strictly Conversation” available at Vivid .

Posted in:Meggan Malone|stepTV|Throwing Dice

2009

25

Feb

Sam Ronson And Her Lesbian Acoustic Performance of the Day

I saw some paparazzi pictures of Lindsay Lohan following Sam Ronson and her acoustic guitar around for some performance in Vegas yesterday, and I thought that just what the world needs is another lesbian with another acoustic guitar to sing songs that are inspired by the day they got raped and/or molested and/or trying to stay trendy by hating dick. Here’s the video, it’s too bad she didn’t get Lohan to do her back-up dancing. Sounds like there were a solid 5 people in the audience….love how the asshole she’s with talks politics, that’s just what I want when I am there to cry to lesbians who have been wronged in their spoiled, connected, rich girl lives.

Posted in:Acoustic|Sam Ronson