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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2009

Mar

Jordan Getting Her Uterus Grabbed of the Day

4 Comments »

So Jordan was out in some tight pants with her husband the other day and motherfucker grabbed her ass, because that’s what you can do when you own a bitch, even if she is the breadwinner for the household and actually owns you, it’s an animal channel situation, look it up, but I noticed that homeboy is doing a lot more uterus grabbing than ass grabbing and there’s gotta be a reason for that….

Sure in Jordan’s case, you’d expect him to be forced to massage her lady parts every hour on the hour so that they don’t harden, you know, since she’s one HPV outbreak away from a a hystorectomy, but I have a feeling she’s knocked up with another ball of retard mush, oh wait that wasn’t politically correct, I meant to say, special needs mush it is the new millenium after all……

It would explain her towel bikini from the other day, and that is a drunkenstepfather.com made up exclusive.

Sure I need to pass the fuck out…but how can I when it comes to such amazing news, sure who really cares if she’s knocked up or not other than the couples involved and child protective services and maybe Toys R’ Us for the potential income, not to mention all the doctors and nurses they’ll need to hire to make sure it survives developing in a pit of dry semen and period blood, but it’s a celebration never the less, so let’s give the lucky couple a big HOORAH you know, for their whole bringing new life into this cold dead world, even if it ends up a flipper, and cheer these cunts on as they ride their rollerblades, it’s like this was a 1975 10th Birthday in a New Jersey roller-rink.

Posted in:Grab|Jordan|Uterus

2009

Mar

Eva Herzigova Celebrating Her Birthday in a Bikini Part 2 of the Day

4 Comments »

Since today is a day for celebrations, I figured it’d only be appropriate to post these pictures of Eva Herzigova, some model I’ve never heard of, celebrating her birthday, and since being alive is no jive, this is the best kind of celebration you can have, so throw a bikini, some friends, and a beach and you’ve just added some glorious memories for the scrapbook that is your life. Good fucking times.

Yeah, I know, I don’t care about birthdays, but I’m trying to keep upbeat since 1 hour of sleep fucks with my brain and ability to pretty much do anything.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Birthday|Eva Herzigova

2009

Mar

Paris Hilton and Her Skinny Body in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

Posted in:Bikini|Paris Hilton|Sknny

2009

Mar

Rihanna Out Partying of the Day

5 Comments »

Just because your boyfriend beats you up, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time, and Rihanna proves that there’s no need to hide in the fucking basement living off the raw meat your asshole husband makes you eat while chained to the fuckin’ radiator because he’s scared you’ll tell someone about what he does to you when no one is looking, you can just suck it up, embrace being abused and have a fucking cocktails partially because it hurts less when you’re drunk, but also because they make you look so fucking fabulous.

I had a rough night last night, it didn’t involve drinking, just a missing person so I got all of 1 hour of sleep, the person’s been found, thanks for asking, but fuck am I tired. Sometimes I wish I was more insensitive instead of trying to save the fuckin’ planet one nipple slip/bikini pic at a time.

Posted in:Party|Rihanna

2009

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I had so much to say than Fallon came on and now my brain is raped and I can’t figure any of it out….

I found Lohan on Twitter, her name is @sevinnyne , she thinks I am her stalker, she fucks with my shit, gets me banned from clubs, turns my friends on me, tried to fuck my stepdaughter, gave 3 people I know herpes and won’t let me follow her, but you should and tell her I say hello.

Here are my stepLINKS….

Close Up of Rebecca Rominjn Tits
GO

Cheap Pussy.
GO

Sorry Baby, You’re Beat
GO

How Do You Say PWNT In Spanish?
GO

Stop Whining About YourEx Girlfriend, Faggot
GO

Because Crying Yourself to Sleep Everynight Isn’t Going to Solve Anything
Brooke Hogan Really Knows How to Pick Em
GO

House Arrest With Andy Dick
GO

There’s Nothing Like Fucking Up Hotels
GO

A Magic 8-Ball For the Economy
GO

HOT College BLONDE Strips Down. Holy Fuck
GO

Someone’s Been Stealing Britney’s Little Debbies!
GO

I’m Sorry But Kat Von D is Fucking Gross
GO

Aubrey O’Day Throwback Nipples
GO

I Love You Freida Pinto
GO

Chris Brown Was Cheating on Rhianna With This Fucking Pig?
GO

Rhianna Celebrates Chris Brown Kicking the Shit Out of Her By Doing a Duet with Him
GO

A Bunch of Sluts GEt Their Chanel On
GO

Adidas Had a House Party
GO

Stripped By Mind Control
GO

Let’s Get High While We Fly the Plan, No Biggie
GO

Ouch. Just Fucking OUCH!
GO

City Council Member Sounds Like He’s Gonna Shit Himself
GO

Dance of the Whore
GO

Japanese Baseball is Amazing
GO

Octopussy’s New House Is Way Nicer Than Anything You or I Will Ever Live In
GO

The Old Water on the Ceiling Trick
GO

Cindy Crawford Hotness
GO

Topless + See Through = Wonderful
GO

Because You Say You Hand Is All You Need and I Say I Beg to Differ
GO

Wes Craven May be the Smartest Person in Hollywood
GO

Requiem for a Day Off
GO

Emily Rossum Needs to Take That Dress Off
GO

Jesus Christ Keith Richarss is Looking Rough
GO

Okay, Okay, Mel B is Lookin’ Kind of Hot
GO

Mr Holland’s Opus
GO

It Was Barbies 50th Birthday!
GO

Party Girls Doing Party Things at Parties
GO

Nude Pictures Gone Wrong…

Find Me on Other Parts of the Internet….

Yeah, I know you’re down with my Graphic Design Skills…don’t front.

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Mar

Mélissa Theuriau Topless and Frisky by the Pool of the Day

13 Comments »

Here’s French newscaster Melissa Theuriau in her bikini, showing off some tit, with some pregnant lookin red nipples, and I figured I’d post it because French girls are sluts and I like sluts. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, they are the kind of girl you pick up in a bar, will get wasted with you, makeout with her female friends and let you fuck her up the ass all within knowing her ten fucking minutes and then she’ll leave like nothing happened and be cool with you like you never fucked her up the ass on the first date, and if it was good enough time, will do it again, while other non french girls make shit awkward or try to date you before ever getting near their ass. So that’s why this breed, despite their rumored hairy cunts, need to be celebrated.

Here’s the boners….

Posted in:Bikini|Boners|Melissa Theuriau|Pool|Topless

2009

Mar

Kardashian Sister’s Do Bikinis of the Day

9 Comments »

Ever see a monkey in a bikini? Either have I, but think that these Kardashian whores are as close as I am going to get, because unlike Micheal Jackson, owning a chimp’s not really on my list of things I need in life, I figure I already got to change my wife’s diapers for her and that’s bad enough, why bother with the headaches, not to mention those fuckers are strong and violent and when you contact an illegal exotic bet broker, telling them you want the fucker to dress in bikinis doesn’t go over too well, motherfucker charges more for that.

I don’t know where I am going with this, but it looks like Kourtney doesn’t only have a stupid name, but also has stupid tits that I doubt are real.

Posted in:Bikini|Kardashian Sisters|Khloe Kardashian|Kourtney Kardashian

2009

Mar

Some Sophie Anderton Almost Upskirt of the Day

2 Comments »

Her name is Sophie Anderton, she was a coke addicted prostitute who did some modeling and reality TV work on the side. She dated Footballers, and did 8 balls, while sucking their balls, and getting them to pay her so she could ball.

This is her at Liverpool Fashion week almost showing her money maker, because in a workin’ class town, the highest profile celebs you can get to your event is usually the kind of girl you can pay to fuck. Liverpool is just upscale like that since fucking for free is for peasants at least that’s what whores like to believe….because no one like to admit they are trash.

Posted in:Liverpool Fashion Week|Sophie Anderton|Upskirt

2009

Mar

Jordan in Some Shorts Goes to the Tanning Salon of the Day

1 Comment »

Jordan rocked a bunch of towels the other day at the beach. I thought that it had something to do with her body being sloppy, saggy and scarred up. Maybe it had to do with her being insecure about her tits since they aren’t as big as they once were, I mean who the fuck knows what the fuck goes through a woman like Jordan’s mind, other than the complex thought of how to use her tits to peddle more product and make more money because she wasn’t satsified getting 10 dollars a song like the other strippers out there and I think above all it reflects how fucked our society is and what we really put importance on.

That said, here she is at a tanning salon getting a tan, because I guess her shade of orange is fading and needs to be retouched and that’s probably the real reason for the Towel Bikini….

Posted in:Jordan|Shorts|Tan

2009

Mar

Lil Kim in Some Leotard Shit for Biggie of the Day

1 Comment »

Biggie died a bunch of years ago yesterday, people made a big deal out of it. Diddy went from 10,000 to 100,000 followers on Twitter yesterday alone, because he’s managed to milk Biggie for all his life and death is fucking worth and make a killing doin’ it, while Radio shows did tribute sets to Biggie and Lil Kim did Dancing With the Stars and didn’t dedicate her shit to Biggie, despite him being the only reason her whore pussy can call herself a star. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really care about Biggie or his death and I am not really sure why other people do, maybe it’s because they like feeling part of something, but if he was still alive today, I doubt people would label him as the best rapper of all time.

Sure the whole thing is boring and bullshit and so are these pictures of Lil Kim in her spandex rockin’ some Cameltoe Biggie stuck his tongue, dick, fingers and friends inside that I figured I’d post to jump on that Biggie is Dead bandwagon one day too late, which happens to be less days than I am normally late….

Posted in:Biggie|Cameltoe|Lil Kim|Spandex