I love how the paparazzi are whining like bitches trying to get the shot of Denise Richards because it will put food on the table for them and their immigrant family for another night. You can tell in their desperate cries that they really hate the girl with the backpack on and would kill her if they could, like they did to Princess Dianna and Anna Nicole Smith, just to get the fucking story….useless fucking existence, welcome to my life.
Rose McGowan made a joke about there being no such thing as a free ride, because I guess the car she is in is sponsored or something, and everyone laughed and laughed until they couldn’t laugh anymore then they laughed some more. I have no idea what I am talking about but there are pics to compensate for my shitty insight and lack of inspirational words since it’s fucking Friday and I should be Drunk.
Here’s a crazy fucking story, some Ethiopian dude who lives in Chicago has been sending Obama HIV blood because he wants help from the government because he’s very sick with HIV.
Now, I’ve heard of this happening at bank machines a couple years ago, when Aids was still relevant and people were still scared of the shit, back when girls made you use condoms, before accepting that Aids is only for Africans and Gays, and dudes would come up to you and jack you in the leg with a needle filled with blood to welcome you into the family, but it only happened to me once, and the dude didn’t stab me with the needle because I showed him my bank statement and figured he’d save his Aids blood for someone more worthy, because I guess Aids blood is hard to come by.
All kidding aside, Aids is some pretty scary shit, and dude would have been better off just setting Obama up on a blind date with Lohan, it’s a less obvious and illegal way of passing Aids around.
Onto a more interesting story, here’s the original the Original Lollipop Kid from the Wizard of Oz, he’s 89 and still shorter than ever….
I love the concept of vanity, you know these sluts who think they are all fucking that because they got a job shooting for Playboy a bunch of years back, or because they escaped their small town and live in Hollywood, the land of opportunity for beautiful people, where they have to keep up appearances otherwise they will be forgotten and outcast from their bullshit community.
So for some reason all these bitches rape their faces with plastic surgery, first with a little nosejob, then with a little eye lift, then with tweaking other shit, because once you start, it’s hard to stop, leaving them lookin’ totally un-fucking-human.
At least when you age gracefully, you don’t scare little kids, I mean, unless you’re a pervert trying to lure them into your kidnapper van, but for the most part, at least you look better than this desperate, holding onto whatever they think they had that they think defines who they are. Fucking disaster.
Dumpy Katy Perry tried to get sexy in some performance the other day by wearing some cat suit with leopard print on it. Pretty cliche or obvious but Katy Perry is not capable of being sexy. She could be up on stage doing a high school girl masturbation scene and I’d still want her to stop. She’s awkward, she’s annoying and she’s fat you just can’t see it because you are a pervert, or a chick who is fatter than her and admitting she is fat means you have admit you’re fat, but I can tell that her midsection looks it is fighting with a pair of spanx and losing. I hate her and she isn’t a sex symbol just because guys will fuck her or because she sings about obvious sex fantasies, guys will fuck anyone and girl on girl action isn’t always hot, you know especially when the girls involved are the two fat chicks dykes no guy wants to fuck unless they are drunk so let’s just put things into perspective.
Looks like Nicolette found a new Michael Bolton to sniff her dirty panties, eat her used tampons, watch her shit, fuck, masturbate and cry in the form of a Golden Retriever, sure it may not be as socially acceptable when people catch him in the trailer licking Cheeze Whiz off her cunt, but having people know you fuck a dog’s a lot less embarrassing than admitting you ever dated Michael Bolton, not to mention the Dog’s a better singer.
It also looks like Nicolette Sheridan has a good body for an old lady as she continues to be my evidence that not having babies may be against natures way and may leave a lot of regret down the line, but at least you can drink that pain away, instead of sitting on your fat ass exhausted from changing diapers and driving kids to day care.
I guess Lohan didn’t prepare for her rushed, random trip to the UK by bringing enough pantyhose, who knows maybe she has a place there that has the best fucking pantyhose in the fucking world and was the whole reason for her trip to the UK, you know since that’s pretty much all this whore wears, but the reason for this is medical and not for fashion, because if she doesn’t wear them, her pussy will fall out. It’s just that rotten.
On a side note, she still hasn’t died, so the death watch goes on another day, but here are her crew having a Smokin’ Party and I wish I was invited…
I met a make-up artist on Twitter since it’s my new hang out . I pretty much use it to respond to random famous people and make stupid comments about the shit they write and the whole thing is pretty funny to me, but like everywhere else in my life, I get ignored and I can’t get as many followers as even the most useless pornstar, but I guess none of that matters.
What does matter is that this make-up artist told me that Carmen Electra is a natural beauty and by lookin’ at her tits, I think it’s safe to say the only natural there is the fact that I want to cum all over them. She’s older and has seen more and more cock as the years go on, but she still looks good to me and by me I mean Lenny from Motorhead, but let’s face it, his sexual catalog of pussy he’s fucked, is trashy old strippers from small towns with shitty tit jobs and a deep love for the song “Ace of Spades” because it has been a huge part of their livelihood and life all these years and just having the opportunity to meet him will let them die happy if for whatever reason they go home with a bad john, take bad drugs, or hang themselves from the shower curtains because their lives fucking suck.
That said, here’s some Carmen.
Here’s some Lenny from Motorhead singing Ace of Spades for the whores out there…
***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE****UPDATE***
I didn’t check my email today – because I am lazy – but my good internet friend over at Antiquiet sent it these pictures that he took at the Chelsea Girls show all this went down at…..
Lookin’ Good Sweetheart was something I used to do back in the day, where’ I’d link to really fucking disgusting looking girls, usually fat, old and naked, sometimes just ugly and I haven’t really kept it up because I don’t bother surfing the internet for disgusting porn anymore, mainly because I jerk off to scenes from Top Gun now. I blame being desensitized, but not being desensitized to ugly chicks and from day one, all I have said about this girl was that she was skinny, I always said she had a wonky monkey like face and I’m sticking to that, but she’s doing a good job backing up my theory, and that’s why Annalynne is a Lookin’ Good Sweetheart.
I mean I guess she has no choice but to bring her tits on her Irish tour with her, since they are part of her, but she does have a choice to not have them busting out all over the motherfuckin’ place, but with a face like that, I guess the choice was made for her when she was born, you know, since she’s ugly.
I am sure she fits in nicely in Ireland though. I go to Irish pubs out here and the kind of crowd those places attract are pretty fucking ugly. I’ve gone out once for St Patrick’s day, and the girls that shit attracts are pretty fucking ugly. It’s like hot girls with style no to stay the fuck away and leave it for the farting, beer guzzling, big mac eating, beer bellied, big headed chick with a four leaf clover tattooed on her hip to match her the tattoo of every lyric to every bad song for her to scream along to on her brain. If you know what I mean…
Here are her tits….and I have no idea who she is….
