I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

12

Dec

Lindsay Lohan Gets into the Wrong Car of the Day

Here’s a little video of Lesbian Lohan getting into the wrong car, which is an honest mistake when you are addicted to cock and haven’t had dick in months, it kinda consumes you, and it’s all that you can think of and you end up forgetting to do the simple things in life, like showering, or leaving the house, because of that burning in your groin, at least that’s what I’ve been told by guys who can’t get laid about their obsession with pussy, and I figure since she straps a dick on in the bedroom, she’s almost an honorary member of the chronic masturbating group of guys who make up the readership of this site, only she gets to masturbate with a friend who looks like a boy and the last time you tried to masturbate with your friend who looks like a girl, he told everyone and it was pretty embarassing. I just re-read this post and haven’t figured out if it makes sense or not, but I think it does, watch the video of Lohan being an idiot because she is one.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan

2008

12

Dec

Nicola Mclean’s Big Fake Titties Are Doing The Rounds of the Day

This Nicola Mclean slut is from the UK, and unlike most girls from the UK, she’s almost worth fucking. I don’t know where she came from, but she’s been poppin up a lot lately and it’s strictly because she’s got retarded fake tits. I am surprised girls still have that whole need to get the biggest, dumbest tits around, like we were still in the 90s, but that’s just because I figured all the closet-cases who were over compensating for their discomfort in their own sexuality by fixating their lives on tits, you know talking about tits all the time, freaking out about every tit they saw, always seeking bigger and stupider lookin’ tits to really show us how much of a man they are, dating girls that looked like low class Barbie Dolls they met at the strip club they spent their free time in, because that’s what guys who like pussy do and bringing them home to meet the family in their lacy cleavage tops and booty shorts to make dad proud, had come out of the closet by now. I mean that was really my only explanation for the serious increase in fags everywhere I go. There was a time these people hid their true desires, and that was the time stupid implant sales were at their highest, according to me, but maybe I am wrong, maybe liking normal sized natural tits is weird, maybe these fake disgusting things stapled to trashy stinky fake lookin’ pussy is what real men want, maybe I am the gay one….

Gay or not, I don’t get how someone can make a minor 5,000 dollar investment in their rack and turn it into a 6 figure or more per year salary promoting lingerie, attending events, and slowly climbing up the trashy reality star later into the D-List, and if it is that easy, why the fuck isn’t every girl doing it, are they fucking idiots? Do they like working as nurses and teachers and secretaries for modest salaries?! It’s just too much for me to process right now….so here are some pictures of Nicola Mclean doin’ the rounds….

Here she is with Santa for the kids….

Here’s she is at the Ultimo Lingerie Store Opening…..

Posted in:Lingerie|Nicola Mclean|Retarded Fake Tits

2008

12

Dec

Courtenay Semel Picture of the Day

I don’t think Courtnenay Semal should be thanking her Yahoo exec very rich father for sending her some money, I mean it is the least he could do after his genetics played a part in producing this Picasso Masterpiece of a face. Not only is her chin so weak it looks like she’s swallowing her face, but she’s also looks like she can’t close her mouth, something I call perma mouth and overall looks like a fucking monster. I don’t really understand how or why Tila Tequila and Lindsay Lohan have sucked her pussy, I guess because no guy ever would, and bi-sexual/lesbian girls are more sensitive to ugly chicks because all girls feel like they look like this hag on the inside, it’s all part of having a vagina, you know that whole low self-esteem shit, making the Lesbian world a much friendlier place for her. She should however consider suing her father for a lot of money for bringing her into this cruel world, causing emotional and psychological abuse caused by having a face like hers and that concludes Courtenay Semel’s picture of the day.

Bonus some Halloween action….to chime in the Christmas Season….

Bonus that is Definitely Not a Bonus….Her Wonky Fuckin’ Tit….to Match Her Wonky Fuckin’ Face.

Posted in:Courtenay Semel|Ugly

2008

12

Dec

Audrina Patridge Goes Bikini Shopping of the Day

You know what pisses me off? The fact that I have spent my fair share of time hanging out on benches outside bikini and lingerie stores in various malls around the city for the last 20 years and for some reason everytime I spend a little too much time inside the store, playing a little too much with the bikini bottoms I know girls have freshly tried on, or even when I talk to the girls shopping and pretend I am a bikini designer or model scout lookin for inspiration while telling girls how amazing they look to get them to model shit for me, or when I just cheer at them to take it off, trying to give them that real Spring Break experience, or when I bust all my other smooth moves, and I’ve got a lot of them, I always get asked to leave. I even get asked to leave when I am just sitting outside the store on the bench eating popcorn, I get the same fucking abuse and I think I am officially banned from 4 stores and another 10 know to just ask me to back the fuck off if I spend too much time hanging around, and this paparazzi gets away with snapping off pictures of this bitch Audrina’s fake tits trying on her bikinis. I never even tried to bring a digital camera with me on my Bikini store journey and I guess that’s one more thing to add to the Life isn’t Fair list.

Another thing that pisses me off, that Audrina is shopping for bikinis for her Christmas vacation to some tropical place, where she will lay on the beach, drink and fuck in luxury, with money she made pretty much doing nothing, while I am buried in the fucking snow, with no money because that’s how most people who do nothing live. I guess that’s another thing to add to the Life isn’t Fair list.

Two Life isn’t Fair List Additions, what a productive Friday!!

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

12

Dec

Pam Anderson’s Thong One-Piece of the Day

I thought today was Saturday and I didn’t realize that it was Friday, just like Pamela Anderson didn’t realize she’s in her fucking 40s before putting this one piece thong shit on for her creepy Magician friend, and look how that turned out for her…pretty fucking sloppy and since sloppy is what I do…and the real magic trick in all this is slowly watching the Pamela Anderson you all grew up making love to in your mind disappear….

Posted in:One Piece|Pam Anderson|Thong

2008

12

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

So I am not an actual d-list celebrity and people don’t care about me, so I have to go out of my way and add random whores to my facebook in efforts to get 5000 friends and pretend I am a d-list internet celebrity that 5000 people care about, while knowing I added them all myself randomly.

The problem with adding people to facebook who you don’t know is that they question who the fuck you are….Like last night, a girl wrote this to me…

do i know you?
 

Sure, I’m the guy who just jerked off to your profile pic. You were amazing.

Love,

Jesus

She didn’t add me, I want to change my strategy, but my typing fingers just won’t let me.

Here’s some links…..

RIP Bettie Page
GO

Intervention!!
GO

Alyssa Milanos Nipples Are Hard Under Her Designer Sports Sweater
GO

Merry Christmas From Satan
GO

Claire Sweeney Groping Herself Throwback
GO

Stephanie Pratt is Lookin’…uhhh…Hefty
GO

Kasia is Delightful
GO

Pizza Prank That is Worth Trying Yourself
GO

Krystal Forscutt is All Oiled Up
GO

Why Did You Leave Me?
GO

No One Cares That Ashley Simpson Had a Baby, Including Me
GO

Some Vintage Paris Hilton
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Anna Lynne McCord Goes Shopping, or Something
GO

Do You Remember Stacy Dash As Well as My Penis Does?
GO

Fergie Still Doing What She Does Best
And By Doing What She Does Best I Mean Looking Like a Man
GO

Are These Girls Having Sex or Doing Yoga
GO

As If We Need More of This Cunts Family Walking Around the Earth
GO

Pranking Girls Always Makes For Good Times!
GO

Knocking OUt Your Girlfriend is the Only Logical Thing to Do After You Tear Off Your Pants
GO

Because I Want Your Thursday Night to Go As Smooth As Possible
GO

I Want a Super Suit for Christmas
GO

Wino’s Soon to Be Ex Husband Got His Ass Beat Upon Returning to Jail
GO

Tropical Triaminic
GO

Giulia Olivetti is Model Material If You Ask Me
GO

Tabitha is on a Red Leather Sofa
GO

Lydia and Miranda Are Lovely
GO

Britney Spears Gets Excited Joke….
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Stevie Wonder Wants to Join Dancing With the Stars
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Dump Truck Flips Out
GO

A Tv Nipple Slip Always Brightens My Day
GO

Micha and Jess ARe Good Fucking Friends
GO

Ciara is Lovely
GO

Samantha Buxton Goes Swimming
GO

Who Knew Slovakia Had Such Fine Exports
GO

I’m Gonna Be All Over Rhianna If It’s the Last Thing I Do
GO

Shay Laren is in Leopard Print
GO

Waste More Time Here
GO

Audrina Patridge Is Looking Kind Of Alrigt
GO

Hilter was a Good Boss
GO

Enrique’s Makin’ Out With a 17 Year old Slut on Stage….Criminal….
GO

What Could Be Lady Gaga’s Nipple….
GO

A Little Carrie Fisher Interview for Those of You Still In Love with Princess Lea
GO

A Couple KFC Workers Taking a Bath in the KFC Sink in their Underwear….
GO

Jesica Cirio is Some Model Showing Off Her Crazy Agentina Ass in a Thong….
GO

Make Milk Into Marbles. Seriously
GO

What Flavor of Jello Pussy
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Some Crazy Fake Tits…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

11

Dec

Jerking off Maintenance Man is Some Funny Shit of the Day

Here’s a funny video of a maintenance man who pulled a wack at some woman’s desk, but doesn’t end there, dude takes her gum and rubs it on his genital and re-wraps the shit so that she chews his shit without knowing, making one of the weirder fetishes I’ve seen today, but it’s not all that much worse than the times I’ve rubbed my dick on random things when people weren’t lookin, whether it be clean panties at laundromat, stirring drinks with my dick in bars, cumming on cigarettes and letting them dry before giving them give out back when I smoked, I mean seriously, if you watch your shit, people who like rubbing their penises on shit, or cumming on shit you end up putting in your mouth because you’re too much of a snob to let us rub or dick on you in the first place, wouldn’t have anything to rub their penises on or cum all over….so it’s really your fault for letting it happen.

Posted in:funny|Video

2008

11

Dec

Doutzen Kroes is Naked in 2007 of the Day

Here’s the beast Doutzen Kroes from Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Fame topless from a photoshoot done in 2007 in V Magazine. I figure why bother writing anything more about this because I don’t give a shit about her, Victoria’s Secret or their marketing scam that involves half naked ladies on the runway, who I think need to be replaced, mainly because they aren’t in arm’s reach, or willing to take it to the back booth for 10 dollars a song. I only really care about Lima, she’s the only real talent , and even then I don’t really give a shit. I figure if you’re going to do a fashion show, you gotta make that shit funny, you need people with disabilities, fat chicks or the homeless modeling the shit, because tall, hot bodied chicks is played the fuck out, not because I am gay, but because I need stimulation, I need to feel inspired, I need to see something a little fucking different, but you don’t, as long as there’s cleavage, you’re good, and here are Doutzen’s tits, in the event you were lookin at her in her bra wondering what color, size and placement her nipples had, weirdo, and that’s pretty much what she’s bringing in this shoot and that’s pretty much why I’ll post it because I like to think that’s my job, even though we both know I don’t actually have a job….

Posted in:2007|Doutzen Kroes|Naked

2008

11

Dec

Aubrey O’Day Backstage Photoshoot Pictures of the Day

I don’t know why these pictures of Aubrey O’Day and her fake tits hit the internet today, because the people at Complex told me they’ve been around for a while, but since everyone’s posting them, I figure I might as well jump on the bandwagon. The truth is, based on her level of trash, I’d expect her to be getting hosed down with pig shit, or Diddy’s black man piss like she was a Kardashian, or maybe even a 15-30 men bukake party, or even some fuckin’ dirty mop water, but Fiji water, that she’s like 3 dollars a bottle, everyone knows that no man in their right mind would spend that kind of money on this kind of whore, unless it came with a Girlfriend Experience, included her abused pink dog and ended after an hour.

To See More Exclusive Behind the Scenes Shit at Complex….
GO

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Backstage

2008

11

Dec

Elisha Cuthbert’s on Fire of the Day

Here’s Elisha Cuthbert’s arm on fire on the 24 set. I didn’t know she was still working, I thought she was just some Canadian puck slut working the Hockey circuit and by the looks of this soap opera star performance, they probably should have let the rest of her burn up in flames with her career, but maybe putting out the fire was just symbolic of her career being snuffed out, because killing her on set would have lead to legal issues, but then again, what the fuck do I know,

The last time Cuthbert was partying in her hometown of Montreal, she had a security detail, thinking people actually give a fuck about her still and when a guy I know managed to sneak in and give her a flower as a joke, she snubbed him like she’s too fucking important to interact with the locals. Now, if you’ve ever been to montreal, you’d know that nothing here is “exclusive”. Homeless people party in the “hottest” clubs here and manage to get into the VIP rooms poppin’ bottles and I’m just tired of these Montreal sluts who leave the city to go onto bigger money and better things, coming back and acting like they are anything but the fucking white trash middle class suburban cunts we know they are.

They pretend they are too good for this shitty city, and maybe they are, I mean I’ve met ex strippers who are onto better things since leaving this city, but when they are here, they act like they are too big for the place and that they are doing me a fucking favor for visiting, like I give a fuck. I remember meeting this bitch from here, who had moved to LA a few years before and was visiting her parents over the holidays a couple years ago. After an hour of her talking about how great LA is and how well liked she is and how hooked up she is and how many celebrities she parties with and how amazing the clubs are, she turns to some falling apart stone building and asks me if it had aways been there, she was trying to be so fucking LA that she couldn’t be bothered to remember buildings in the city, or recognize something that’s been there for 300 fucking years, thinking that I’d be impressed with how sophisticated and Sex and the City she is for leaving the city because no one liked her here, and that I’d be impressed with how industry she is by being too important to remember here, when the truth is, I don’t give a fuck about Montreal and I don’t give a fuck about LA, I do give a fuck about being forced into tedious conversations with a piece of fucking shit of a person. Not that you do care…..because she wasn’t Cuthbert, in fact she was a total nobody, but I’m pretty sure they have the same attitude.

I guess the real sad thing in all this is that they couldn’t put out her double chin…..if I was more eager, I’d find the Cuthbert family home and hold a candlelight vigil for her career and her sex appeal, that shit would be number 1 on Youtube.

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Fire