I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

25

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

Still no hate mail but I came up with a new really insane sign off to my emails….it goes like this:

Jeuss….Like Zuess But Mo’ Wetter…and I aint talkin bout the Weather….I mean Jesus Martinez. Thanks. Good Times.

And it makes no fucking sense. I figure it comes in handy when dealing with people who are trying to sue me, so that they realize they are dealing with the village idiot and they go leave me alone….

Some guy asked me what I did over the weekend

My plan was to win the lottery. I didn’t. Which is too bad because I was really banking on it.

My other plan was to get a threesome with with teenage girls. Which I almost did, if you consider watching a porn clip with two 40 year olds dressed like school girls making out a threesome with teenage girls. But I dont.

Life’s pretty good, I am drunk and I feel like I am at a Sweet 16 party, but I’m the only guest…

Yeah, this was a waste of your time to read, but I hope the links aren’t. American Thanksgiving is retarded. You guys take a fucking month off for this shit, I just don’t get it. But since I’m in Canada, I’ll be updating the entire week, so you all come back, ya hear….

I Just Told a Lesbian Teen Asian Girl On Webcam To Show Me Her Tits…Then Asked Her If She came With a Fortune Cookie…..
GO

I Hope Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton Set Up a Cage Fighting Match
GO

Human Catapult FAIL
GO

Paris Hilton is Way More Fun Now That She’s Not Dating Whats Hi Face Anymore
GO

Heidi Klum is Smokin’
GO

Throwback Lilly Allen Tit Flash
GO

Dropping Spiders On People is More Fun That You May Think
GO

How About So me Turkey Porn for Thanks Giving?
GO

Lindsay Lohan Was Most Probably Strip Searched When She Went to Dubai
GO

The Seven Most Annoying People At Thanksgiving Dinner
GO

Is Rhianna a Hoe or a Housewife?
GO

Katy Perry Looks Disgusting in FHM
GO

Billy Ray Cyrus Is Pretty Cool Shit…Too Bad He Made That Cunt….
GO

More of Paris Whoring It Up Around Town
GO

Lily Allen Needs to Lose Some Fucking Weight
GO

Guitar Master!!!
GO

Japan Markets the Manzier!!
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

China Hates The Guns and Roses, and Its not just Cause of Axel Rose’s Braided Extensions
GO

Shelby Chan Photoshoot
GO

Sandra Shine is a Red Head Beauty
GO

Julia is on the Rocks
GO

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt Got Married…Now Let’s Hope They Die.
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Somebody Capped a Mother Fucker at the Scientology Centre in Hollywood
GO

Nunchuck Ping Pong
GO

Ise Skate Fail
GO

Who Says Indians Don’t Work Hard?
GO

Cooking Show Tit Flop!!!
GO

Lela Star is Totally Down With Letting You Think About Raping Her…
GO

Zahyra is Nude
GO

PORN REVIEWS…..
GO

Gemma Massey is a Slut You Will Think About Fucking….
GO

Amy Winehouse is Getting Divorced
GO

Beyonce and Rhianna, WTF Are You Wearing?
GO

Stand By Me
GO

Caterpiller Stunts
GO

MTV Whores Will Bring the Network to a New Low
GO

Tera Patrick is Incognito
GO

Stop Motion Pancakes
GO

Lesbian Crazies
GO

Some Everyday Ass on the Street
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart…But You’re Kinda Scaring Me a Little….
GO

Some McDonald’s Employees are Porn Peddlers.
GO

Some Kid’s Being Treated Because His Pet Fish “Accidentally” Swam Up his Penis….
GO

13 Cheerleader Bikini Videos
GO

Spanish Sperm is the Worst Sperm
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Chick With short Hair, Weapons who Is Way too Intense for Me, Even in her Panties…
GO

Some Young Girl Sluttin’ Out With Her Tits
GO

More of Her…
GO

And More of Her
GO

And More of Her….
GO

And More of Her….
GO

MIAMI TITS ARE INSANE
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

BONUS VIDEO – Toddler Fights ARE More Fun Than Dog Fights

BONUS VIDEO – Some Girl Getting Her Nipple Pierced.

This Girl Named Meghan Promised Me Nude Pics if She Wins This Contest So Scroll Down and Click “VOTE FOR MEGHAN’ and I’ll Post the Nudes She Sends When She Wins…Even Though She’ll Probably Ignore Me When She Wins Because All Women Are the Same and Walk When They Get What they Want Out of You…Yes, I am a Bitch….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

24

Nov

Jessica Alba’s Doin’ Us All a Favor of the Day

In keeping up with the theme of the day, which is slaughtering this site post by fucking post with shit no one cares about, I decided to post these pictures of Jessica Alba on set in some kind of over-sized winter coat, because everyone knows, that a picture of a covered up Jessica Alba is a totally fucking useless picture because her body is the only thing she has going for her, but then I remembered she had a kid this year, pretty much making Jessica Alba useless even when half naked, because shit’s gaping and tainted, so here are those pics….one nail at a time motherfuckers…

Posted in:Covered|Jessica Alba

2008

24

Nov

Zoe Kravitz is Another Rich Girl Gone Bad of the Day

In who really gives a fuck about this rich kid news, here’s an older video that was shot at some store opening in NYC that went down on November 6th. The event was hosted by Zoe Kravitz, who is 19 and she was drunk. She is Lisa Bonet of Cosby Show Fame and Lenny Kravitz’s daughter and she’s not 21 but still manages to get the drinks in her because in case you didn’t know, the law doesn’t apply to privileged people and alcoholism does because they are hurting on the inside.

I know you don’t care, but since less than 10,000 people saw the video on Youtube, I figured I’d get it out there, but there’s no tits or pussy in this shit, so I don’t really know what I was thinkin’, but there’s no turning back now….

Posted in:Drunk|Zoe Kravitz

2008

24

Nov

Paris Hilton is Out in Latex of the Day

I guess it’s only natural that when you have spent the last 10 years not using condoms, and suffering the burning, itching, bleeding consequences, that when you’re fresh out of an abusively controlling 9 month long relationship with a man who made you role play as his one true love, his twin brother, by dressing you up in mainstream skate gear and spending hours trying to replicate his tattoos, like a nerd painting his Starship Enterprise model, you’d try to over-compensate to not scare off potential dick.

I am not sure if she’s telling the world she is the kind of girl who will show you a good time, like a clip from a fetish movie, with whips and production value of a Cirque du Soliel event, in efforts to make people ignore what they’ve seen in her sex tape, or if she confused doctor’s order to use latex when in state of outbreak, but not quite getting it because she never got that “sex ed talk” and to her condoms are a foreign thing commoners use, like panties, so a stylish latex outfit with her name sequined in will just have to do and so will the tranny vibe she’s given off, because when dealing with Paris Hilton, that’s just the way it is…..

Posted in:Bondage|Latex|Paris Hilton

2008

24

Nov

Kelis Panty Upskirt of the Day

I don’t know when these pictures were taken, but I figure a while ago, since we haven’t heard shit from Kelis in a long time, but I think it’s safe to say that her milkshake didn’t bring all the boys to the yard, they were already there and they figured it’d be better than playing another game of pick-up basketball, but she wouldn’t want us knowing that she’s the town whore, she’d rather us think she’s highly desirable, and people go to her, when in reality, they just shove their dicks in her mouth because it is open, willing and waiting, and 10 of your friends just got down with it and they’ll call you gay if you don’t follow-through.

Either way, I find something seriously offensive about her panties, maybe it’s got something to do with my confusion as to what lies beneath, maybe it’s got to do with you being a racist who doesn’t think he’s a racist, but I know, there’s nothing hot about this picture, so in attempts to murder my site, think of this as another gash in it’s website arm that I’m hoping will make it website bleed to death, because I know that no one wants to see this shit but post anyway, with total disregard to your needs. I’m a real dick who deserves to be ignored.

Posted in:Kelis|Panties

2008

24

Nov

Ed Hardy’s Daughter is Going to Have Serious Daddy Issues of the Day

So the guy behind Von Dutch and Ed Hardy, Christian Audigier has a 16 year old daughter who he neglects and he tried to make up for his absence by throwing her some really over the top birthday party that featured performances by T.I. and The Pussy Cat Dolls, who were introduced by Perez Hilton. Other people in attendance were cheesy coke party slut Paris Hilton and her sister Nicky and some Kardashian.

When they brought her down to get her gift she was surprised by not 1 but 2 cars, because at 16, you need really need 2 fucking cars. I guess that goes to prove that Ed Hardy hasn’t just ruined my life, but it has ruined the life of this little broken down girl who you will see a lot of in the party scene over the next 10 years, but that’s just because daddy’s feeding her money and letting her in on some of his cocaine stash, while every cheesy person in the world and stripper alike are going to be suckin’ her dick, because to an Ed Hardy collector, this Crystal bitch is better than the 900 dollar t-shirt they bought last week.

The highlight of the video is when someone screams “I saw your porno” to Paris Hilton. I wish that person was me. Totally over the fuckin’ top and the whole thing is disgusting to me, the outcome of all this, probably won’t be, because I like seeing people fall from the top because their daddy wasn’t around. It’s pretty much the reason behind 95% of the times I’ve got laid and 95% of the porn I’ve jerked off to….Good times.

Now I may not be one to give parenting advice, because I am the kind of guy who encourages my stepdaughters to fuck, as long as they videotape it for me to critique, but this kind of excess is fucking child abuse. If I was the richest Nouveau Riche man in the world, who huffed lots of blow, fucked lots of hoes and believed that spending all my money on trash made sense, I still would never spoil my kid like that, not because I hate them for ruining my life, but because I know this kind of behavior fucks them up and no good comes from it, but I guess when you’re the guy who conceived Ed Hardy, no good is all you know….

Posted in:Birthday|Crystal Audigier|Ed Hardy

2008

24

Nov

Annalynne McCord Putting Her Big Mouth to Use of the Day

90210’s resident clown was seen adjusting her size 0 jeans and shoving some bread product into her big ol’ mouth on her big ol’ head, that may not be all that big to begin with, but by association her her ethiopian body, looks like she’s wearing a midget mask. It’s kinda the opposite of the optical illusion that happens when I take off my pants and girls see my second belly button where my dick belongs. I tell them, if I lost a solid 150 lbs, I’d be at least 4 inches hard, instead of my embarrassing 0.5 inches but you don’t care about my dick and either do the girls I take off my pants for, mainly because they are usually not expecting it, since I’m just the weird lookin’ guy on the bus that they’ve never seen before but know they don’t like how I am licking my lips at them, but you do care about taking this picture to photoshop and cropping out that bun for a cock to assist your jerking off because it’s pretty suggestive and in a life as dull as yours, suggestive is good enough and I’d say these words are just distracting you from getting to that, but I know you aren’t reading this shit and either am I, it’s kinda the equivalent of pressing the keyboard aimlessly while watching amateur porn, and that’s why I’ll end this post now.

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Suggestive

2008

24

Nov

Mischa Barton in Deserts With Dolphins of the Day

The only time I have ever really watched the nature channel was when I wanted the Kim Kardashian sex tape, so I am not an expert on anything animal related, but I have a feeling that Dolphins are not native to Dubai, you know considering it’s a fucking desert, but somehow Mischa Barton managed to land a publicity gig by showing up to the opening of some 10 Star Hotel that just opened in Dubai called the Atlantis, or maybe she’s just been hired to feed and care for the Dolphins, because these Arabs pay better than Hollywood, especially when Hollywood isn’t giving you any work.

Either way, as she hugs this confused animal, you know trying to figure out how he ended up being stared at by a group of pajama wearing rich dudes in sandals, when just a few months ago he was doing tricks in the wake of yachts in the Caribbean, so despite needing the money badly, she’s pretty much supporting animal captivity and only animal she should be concerned about keeping captive is that pussy of hers, because people like her are so useless that they have no business livin’ so by association, either do anything they spawn in their womb and not some corporation’s idea of what rich people want to see when spending 1000 dollars a night in the most happening city in the world that has no business having wild animal attractions for their guests. It’s the kind of novelty with animal shit that made Michael Jackon’s Neverland ranch the dream vacation for 10-13 year old boys and we all know what that did to that Culkin kids self esteem….

Bad joke? It’s pretty much the story of my life and you’re invited for the ride.

Posted in:Atlantis|Dubai|Mischa Barton

2008

24

Nov

Katy Perry for the Youtube Live Event of the Day

Youtube did some clever live-broadcast shit from San Francisco this past weekend, I didn’t bother watching it, because the last thing I want to do is sit on a computer and watch second rate performances in some Youtube Variety show bullshit that features all the retarded Youtube stars, and proven by Katy Perry’s attendance, all the retarded pop music stars.

Like Beyonce, she’s a fat chick in a pantless outfit, but for some reason everyone gets mad at me for calling her fat, like I was the one who shoved that extra large pizza down her throat. The truth is that if you’re staring at her body, because her face is disgusting, you’ll know that she’s not fully fat right now, but you can tell she was fat by her hips, legs and the way she puts all that importance on her tits, because up until she developed a cocaine addiction, hired a personal trainer and ran around on stage all night because some people, who I hate, gave her a career, they were the only thing guys would talk to her for.

She pollutes my life, now she pollutes Youtube music festivals and I am going to post the video because I hate her.

BONUS THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT A BONUS – KATY PERRY BEING “SEXY” IN FHM

Posted in:Katy Perry|Youtube Live

2008

24

Nov

Beyonce Was Fat at the AMA’s of the Day

Being the most relevant site on the internet that nobody reads, I had the pleasure of not being invited to the AMAs. I did watch them at my neighbor’s house on HD and it was as bad as I expected it to be. I mean for as long as I can remember, it’s always been this piece of shit award show, pretty much the lowest quality award show, not that any award show is really quality, but this Dick Clark production always offended me for being an industry jerk off fest, but it never offended me as much as it did last night, because they allowed Beyonce on stage in her leotard in HD.

Sure, they had a strobe light to diffuse the affect of her disgustingness, and sure she was in a bunch of pairs of Spanx, and sure she had some support pantyhose on to act like cheese cloth holding in the cottage cheese, but I still saw a lot more shakin’ than I wanted to and if she had to make an acceptance speech for having the privilege to make ABC the least wholesome and family oriented than it has ever been by doing a dance number she stole from an above 40 year old mom’s aerobic class back in ’89, she probably would have thanked a few too many fried chicken meals, Rihanna for giving her a new hunger and a desperate need to compete even if it is a battle she will not win, she’s still holdin’ on like an old athlete refusing to retire and a delusion that she’s had by constant re-affirmation that she’s hot and obviously the lord and savior Jesus Christ for watching over her, but that’s just a black thang.

Good morning, welcome to my site on the beginning of this glorious American Thanksgiving week.

BONUS – Beyonce Performing in Pictures…Because the Video Wasn’t Fat Enough…

Bonus – Rihanna’s Performance, because she won, no matter how hard Beyonce tried….

Posted in:AMAs|Beyonce|Fat|Rihanna