there’ really nothing interesting going on right now, been surfing the internet and nothing interesting is coming up, but I was sent this video about some teenage girl in the UK who wants breast implants even though she’s probably 16. I guess it’s a testament to how awesome big tits are, or maybe the influence of all those UK glamor models having careers based on their big tits making 14 year olds feel inadequate and despite hating fake tits, this does give me confidence that the world is going in the right direction……
The real issue is obviously the parents, they give their kids too much freedom like this one mom saying she thinks her daughter is old enough to make decisions about her body for herself, even if the girl isn’t fully developed and that not being developed really makes perverts more aroused versus the fake tits they see at stripclubs constantly, anyone can have those, but only 15 year olds can have teenage titties, so why ruin a good thing, I guess because you’re a whore in training and this is phase one….or whatever….either way, watch the video, blame Jordan, Gemma Atkinson and them other slags who have proven today that despite popular belief, they aren’t entirely useless…..
If you ever watched the show Blossom, like I did, not because I wanted to be the teen heartthrob that Joey Lawrence was and learn his trick, or because I was down with seeing an ugly dumpy Jewish faced girl live out her teenage day-to-day sitcom bullshit, or even because I wanted to fuck her best friend six, but because I was just amazed that such an ugly girl could get on TV. Even in the 80s I knew the Jews ran the industry and figured she was someone’s niece or kid or something that made them look past her broken down looks, maybe they created the pilot to shut her up and didn’t expect it to get picked up and when it did, were forced to keep it going and week after week I’d chime in waiting for the day the replaced her. They never did.
When I saw these pics of Blossom with her family, I realized that she never really grew into that nose of hers, she still looks like something created in a lab at a concentration camp and unlike the Jewish women I see around these parts, didn’t bother going under the knife to land a rich husband to get knocked up by for the lifestyle and stability she always wanted so that the hired filipino can raise them while she’s out shopping, doing her hair, or fucking her tennis coach.
The good news is that she never got work after Blossom and the blunder that was that show, didn’t make a wonky eyed star we could never escape, so for those of you who have forgotten, here’s that reminded.
Speaking of Jews, I met a Jewish guy with a Swastika tattoo, it was like seeing one of those ironic t-shirts like “I da ho, no u da ho” t-shirts, only way more hardcore.
Here’s the Blossom intro for those of you who luckily forget…
In my opinionation, the sun never shines in her ugly life….
Amy Winehouse is the new poster girl for American Apparel’s line of mesh clothing. I mean it’s probably not the endorsement any company would want, but this is American Apparel and as I’ve slowly gone from girls I want to fuck, to weird hipsters who I’d only fuck if they were giving me free cocaine, it’s just the natural step for the company to start dipping deeper into drug culture, and take shit from the whole casual party use, to life ruining, sucking dick on street corners, despite being famous drug use….so little girls everywhere, who think this brand is the best thing since Hannah Montana something to aspire to be….
I think she looks fucking hot, you know it’s pretty shitty that she’s put on the bra, but probably not as shitty as she’s feeling, you know with her face falling off, the fact that she looks fat or pregnant, and the clear sign that death is just around the corner, but usually find the underdog at the beauty pageant the hottest, I figured she knows she’s not worthy of a crown and that rejection leads to her begging for a facial, the non beauty pageant kind.
Either way, Winehouse is a talent and it’s nice to see she’s really living up to the star that she could have been by rejecting all that glitz and glam and taking it to the street.
On a side note, my friend who I call Amy Winehouse, because he’s a fucking wreck called me last night. I didn’t pick up the phone because when he calls it’s always about him. He never asks me what I am up to, he just asks for money or something to borrow to pawn, or to help get him out of a jam. I called him back today, telling him I was sorry because I know that with him, that call could have been his one call from prison after being arrested for being a nutcase, but he just said it wasn’t a big deal, a hooker died on him and he wanted my advice before calling the cops because he didn’t want to look suspect or get taken in for questioning after they figured out he solicited sex. I thought he was joking, so I said something like “i love all hookers, dead or alive, so long as they’re still warm” and he broke down crying admitting that he didn’t stop fucking her when she stopped moving.
I’ve been scouring the news for a dead hooker, and haven’t found shit, so I assume he was lying, or having one of his delusional drug incidents, but he claims he just got he fuck out of there and didn’t bother calling the police…so in a cheap motel room, some crackwhore is rotting…..and the whole thing is way to twisted for me…
I figured the story was a good fit to the way Winehouse is lookin in these pics….
Here’s soap star Nikki Cox showing some tit at some event, I figured it was appropriate, since soap stars are one step away from being pornstars. You know the bored housewives are rubbin one out to these low budget, shit acting, shit story bullshit everyday, so i figured I might as well give the husbands a chance to get off to the same shit their wives are, only without the bad acting, low budget shit stories. Then I realized that she’s probably not on a soap opera anymore, you probably aren’t married, hell, you probably haven’t had sex in months, an hopefully can’t jerk off to some cleavage, because if you can, that makes your story much sadder than I originally thought. But since we’ve come this far, I might as well throw this up there for you.
Here’s a video of some teenage girls doing a typical teenage song and dance, only instead of mouthing the words to Britney Spears’ Womanizer or Rihanna, these bitches decided to get creative. They threw down some beat from some song and came up with their own lyrics, kinda what the black folk they hate so much would call a Freestyle. I guess the biggest disappointment wasn’t so much what they were saying about how the country is fucked because there’s a black president, but more the delivery. They should have written this shit out and practiced this shit in front of a mirror to make it bulletproof, instead they put up their first audition and shit’s a fuckin’ mess. They aren’t even old enough to be hot and half naked, so I didn’t really make it past “he’s black, he’s black, he’s black” or whatever the fuck they are saying and they cut off the best joke, which was assigning people to make Obama christmas ornaments so he can hang from a tree where he belongs, maybe a typical, uncreative “racist” joke, but still has some merit of being a vulgar/offensive joke, unlike everything else, because the only thing offensive in this is their shitty production value.
I guess given their level of intelligence, it’s pretty impressive that they were able to turn on their webcam, another thing that is impressive, that their family, who probably instilled this value system into them can afford a webcam, because the biggest vocally racist people are usually not tech savvy or financially capable of buying computers…but busy working blue collar or their farms, bitter that there are richer black people than them…
Either way, watch the video, it’s pretty much worthless, and that’s something I am sure you can relate to.
I hate being fat. This morning i was walking around and saw a plastic bag filled with sloppy fucking pizza. I assume it was someone’s lunch that they accidentally dropped, or it was some kind of predator hunting for fat people, but shit almost worked on me. I saw it, and despite not knowing who it belonged to, where it came from, how long it had been there, and whether it was poisoned, my initial instinct was to bring in home, brush it off and give it to my wife to test before eating it myself. The I realized that my paranoia would have me in the corner hugging my knees thinking I was drugged and dying or self-induced hallucinating, that would probably lead to me running down the street naked, then getting arrested and institutionalized after they realize that it was all in my head and not actually the affect of a drug and picking up food in plastic bags, no matter how good it looks, is disgusting, and it’d be better to just order a pizza with my wife’s credit card, but I decided to bring it up for my wife, put it on a plate and stick it in the fridge so that when she gets home it’ll be the first thing she eats, without asking, because she’s a sneaky fat girl like that, who thinks if she hides the cookies and eats them without anyone knowing, it’s like she didn’t actually eat them at all, one of those tree falling in the forest situations, only she still gets fat regardless….and I will be very happy when she asks where the pizza came from, after eating half of it, to tell her I found it on the street corner next to a pile of dog shit….she’ll freak.
Speaking of fat, here’s some pictures of Katy Perry showing off her tits, because like all fat chicks, she like to show them off and draw attention to herself, so guys notice them and makes her feel like they are noticing her making her think they she has some value, instead of the looks of disgust she used to get growing up every time she was seen eating in public, before she undeservingly got famous….
Bonus – Here’s a Picture of her a some Perez Hilton lookin’ motherfucker in his underwear because a Katy Perry show is the equivalent of seeing Perez Hilton in his underwear…
On a side note, Katy Perry is fake friends with Perez because she like the media attention and being written about by him, like a slut dating a man with a fat wallet, Katy Perry is an opportunist, which is pretty obvious if you look at where she’s got based on what she’s produced, it just doesn’t make sense…without sucking the right dick, or being a lonely man with a powerful website’s friend…here’s the video.
Either way, I hate this cunt. I hate that she is famous and I hate the song she sings that haunts my dreams….
Here’s her Hot n Cold Video being annoying…
Here’s some 16 year old girl making her own Hot n Cold Video because I make people famous sometimes….
So I went out, got drunk and did things this past weekend. The first night I decided to fuck around a bit, so I go to some packed bar, I find the quietest corner and drink myself stupid alone. Once wasted, I start calling girls over and I tell them that I am Heath Ledger and the whole overdose thing was a lie because I wanted some privacy and it seemed like a good idea. So since my “retirement”, I’ve gained lots of weight and lost my Australian accent and aged 10 years you should try it, it really gets them topless if you consider them telling you to fuck yourself getting topless.
Mel B from Dancing with the Stars Fame was out in a bikini in Egypt with her husband, because when I think of amazing vacation spots, Egypt always comes to mind. I mean I don’t think about a dessert and a bunch of Jew slaves building pyramids and camels, or arab chicks in bed sheets, I think bikinis, girls gone wild and Tara Reid, but then again I am not as cultured or worldly as this Mel B chick, proven the fact that the bikini I am wearing at the moment is just a pair of boxers that are way too small for my fat ass, while on the couch in my shitbox apartment I call home, because i try to keep my clothes on for national security, even though I am too irrelevant to affect a nation, proven by the fact that I am not the one gallivanting around the world half naked and in love because she’s made great progress from the her slave ancestors….they would be proud.
I don’t know what happened to Amanda Bynes by she looks like a guy I know who had a serious nut allergy and who we decided to rub nuts all over his hands and face when he passed out drunk to see if he was drunk, unfortunately one of our friends got the whole plan wrong and we ended up walking in on him lookin’ like he was taking part in the world’s worst porno, but when we got it all sorted out and he got his dick back in his pants, we got to work and it turns out after being hospitalized for our antics, that he did in fact have an allergy to nuts. I mean his face swelled the fuck up and dude stopped breathing…..but yeah, that’s what Amanda Bynes’ swollen face looks like, but her pink panties are a good enough distraction from the bloated face….so I am posting it…
Lohan is really taking this pretending to be a lesbian shit seriously, because women who like women, unlike men who like woman, are accepting of fat chicks. It’s like girls are all emotional and understanding not to mention like all things that make them look skinnier than they actually are via comparisson, and can see the person for who they are and not be phased by the horrible way someone looks. It’s like they share a special bond with each other, and that bond is that their period making them see past the impending heart attack, diabetes and varicose veins and overall no possible sex appeal, I mean even if she was the last pussy on earth, we’d rather jerk off, and have no problem climbing up a very thick thigh and crawling to a very big vagina, because the hefty person it’s attached to is a nice person beneath all the layers of fat and because crawling back into mommy’s woman is the basis of lesbianism…at least when coupled with not being able to land a man or being abused by a man….
As a man who is married to an obese woman, I can say that there is a reason why normal guys alienate them and put pressure on woman to try to keep fit, and that reason is the smells that come out of those hard to reach areas…..
So my theory that fat lesbians are lesbians because other girls are the only ones willing to give them they love they always wanted and fake lesbians are fake lesbians because of all the male attention they get from it remains truth.
Now I don’t know if this beast of a girl is actually one of Lohan’s vaginas she fucks, or if it’s a fan who won the make a wish foundation, or if it’s Lohan’s fashion accessory to make her look skinner than the cocaine does, or if it’s a relative or old friend who emotionally ate her way to this mess because her friend Lohan always got all the attention from boys leading her to realize life just isn’t fair and the fatter she got, the more people wanted to stay the fuck away from her, because people are superficial and judgmental, but a box of oreo cookies aren’t, but I do know that she’s got a body only a lesbian can like because she’s probably a nice girl, since her bikini body’s not really working on her side and she has to find something of value…..
