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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Aug

Lara Croft and Her Vagina Close Up of the Day

11 Comments »

This is the new Lara Croft from what I assume is Resident Evil, but I am too lazy to look shit up because I don’t really care, I don’t play videogames and I don’t watch shitty action movies because I find them offensive, but I do remember living with a dude who did like videogames about 10 years ago and he would play the Lara Croft game all fuckin’ day and dude would always call me in to show me the “crawling” position and talk about how hot her ass was and I knew that he got hard for that graphic and realized that there are some desperate and weird peole out there, then I started the site and through emails and comments realized that there were more people like my friend out there, the kind who spend their days playing video games, and nights jerking off and fantasizing about videogame characters, wishing they would crawl out of their computer or TV screen and into their beds, so I feel it’s my job to post these close-up shots of the new Lara Croft’s vagina, because not only do I like vagina, but I like helpin out virgin losers who need guidance and if that’s not you, because you are just in denial, then these are for my old buddy who I lost touch but who probably hasn’t lost touching himeself to the idea of a cartoon-like videogame slut with big ol’ tits and a gun.

Posted in:Lara Croft|Vagina

2008

Aug

Helena Christensen Rocks a Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s another old hot model I want to fuck who is set for life and spending the day in her bikini and you should be jealous of her because she has the money to do all the things you wish you could do because of all the money she made because she was born hot and someone figured they could make money off her. The truth is that I have spoke to local models, who aren’t really anything special, but think they are and they have dreams of international modeling stardom and always talk about how hard their work is and how much talent shit takes and it’s all fucking bullshit.

I was featured in Maxim and Complex magazine, I’m not bragging, cuz it’s not a big deal, but I am just saying, that the photoshoots consisted of sitting on your ass on a couch next to a table of catered breakfast food, drinks and coffee that is better than anything I get here, until the motherfucker was ready to take your picture, in a room with 4 set designers, 1 art director, 1 photographer and 1 photograher’s assistant, where you sit on your ass in the set they have set u and he takes your picture for about an hour, joke around between shots and then the caterer brings in lunch that is bettert than anything I can afford here and everyone takes an hour break and sits around talking about bullshit, until dude takes more pictures or you and wrapping things up mid afternoon, ending the day of work that was more like sitting at home all day with pretentious art fags with camera equiment. I figured real models do pretty much the same thing only on a bigger scale and if they do shit is a fuckin’ joke, doesn’t take talent and pays too fucking much, proven with these pictures of Helena Christensen in her bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Helena Christensen|Hot

2008

Aug

Naomi Campbell on a Yacht in a Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

I love that these retired supermodels have nothing better to do with their time than sit on yachts in their bikinis a week every month. It’s like Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss and a few other models just don’t know what to do with themselves now that work consists of not working because they are not young anymore and if they do get work, it is just some cameo shit so that people remember them all while their bank accounts are already full and they are set for life. It must be a pretty horrible feeling knowing that all that’s left for you is death, kinda like the retired people I know who try to get jobs as the Wal Mart greeter just to give themselves something to do, because when they end up doing nothing all day, they find themselves getting older, lazier and dead.

Either way, I am slow moving today, because like a supermodel, I don’t actually like doing anything during the day but sitting, I like to think I am always on vacation and here are some pictures of Naomi Campbell getting a tan on a yacht which is a good thing because I saw some pics of her a couple weeks ago and I was getting nervou because girl looked like a ghost and was like get this pasty white bitch out of here get her some fuckin’ sun and bring me back the Naomi Campbell I know. I guess it’s hard finding the time to maintain the darkest pigment skin in the world.

Posted in:Naomi Campbell|Yacht

2008

Aug

91 Year Old Ernest Borgnine’s Secret to Staying Young…of the Day

7 Comments »

I don’t know who Ernest Borgnine is, but I do know that he is 91 and when asked his secret to staying young, he said he masturbates alot and I automatically thought about you because you masturbate a lot.

Now you now have Ernest Borgnine’s support to justify what you currently do all the time, and that your feel shame in chronically doing because your dead relatives are watching you and because you find yourself having a hard time integrating into real life and getting things done, like a job, girlfriend, social life all because it’s all you want to do, all the time.

I figured it was some good words of wisdom to start your day, because I know that I am feeling old, I am tired all the time, I can’t keep up with the young girls I hang out with and I feel aches and pains in places I didn’t know exist. I may not be 91 in age, but I am probably 91 in health and I would write more but I am going to do what Ernest Borgnine says I should do, I’ll be back in 4 hours, wearing some pantyhose, bleeding and crying, all while thinking of Ernest but feeling like I was 15 again, except for the erection and ability to cum part.

The truth is that the idea of a 91 year old jerking off is fucking offensive, not that the idea of a normal young dude jerking off isn’t, but at least they aren’t doing it to pictures of their dead wive’s in their bathing suit for a family vacation back in the ’40s, just the idea of this dude cumming all over his belly, is like some kind of science experiment gone wrong, leading me to believe that all of your fathers and grandfathers probably jerk off too, and that should change the way you look at them from now on….hopefully not in a good way….pervert.

Posted in:Ernest Borgnine|Masturbates|Uncategorized

2008

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

I just found out that Sam Ronson was in Montreal for some opening event for H+M and she didn’t reach out to hang out or take me out for drinks with all her celebrity DJ money. Sure, I’ve never met her, she doesn’t know I exist but that’s the kind of cunt behavior that hurts my feelings, not that I have feelings, but if I did, they’d be hurt.

To think I’ve been taking estrogen to work my way into their hearts by sneaking into joining the lesbian love affair and making it a lesbian love triangle as the lesbian with chest hair, which is the lesbian every lesbian relationship needs and I’ve been planning this for the last 6 months because I thought it would be good for business, only to be neglected as my penis and balls slowly shriveled up with my dignity and genius plan, it makes me feel like I really wasted energy on these jerks and that what I think is genius, really isn’t, but it’s not all a loss because now I have my own hot tits to play with, I should post pics and do live cam shows to finally make some fuckin’ money on this internt shit….but I won’t.

Instead of hanging with the girl who uses Lohan’s vagina as a chew toy, drinking heavily and slow dancing like we were at prom and she was my date, before paying homeless dudes crack money to do stunts like they were in Beijing, I compiled these links and used the word compile to describe what I did tonight, making me slowly turn less and less cool the more I sit at home working on this stupid site and by working on the site I mean watching amateur porn and smoking cigars while messaging girls on facebook for nudes.

With Love….

The Hottest Fucking Video From the Olympics….
GO

Mariah Carey is still a Crazy, Demanding, Slut
GO

Paris Hilton Walks Around in a See Through Dress
GO

Jessica Simson is so Country in Her Short Shorts…
GO

Trampoline Mishap
GO

The 10 Greatest Female Streakers in Sports History….
GO

Burger King Bathtime
GO

50 sexiest beach babes
GO

Here’s a Hot Pic of the Slut Who Jamie Lynn Spears’ Teenage Baby Daddy Was Cheating On Her With…
GO

Which College Movie Slut Would You Rather Fuck
GO

Hollywood is Really on a Set Mission to Ruin Everything that Once Ruleds
GO

Here’s a Good Job For the Ladies Lookin’ To Make Some Extra Money…
GO

Tyra Banks Shows Off Her Nappy Hair
GO

RIP MOTHERFUCKER – The World’s Tallest Transexual – Sandy Allen….
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Masterbate at work
**This is Amazing**
GO

Sphia and Eve Get to Know Each Other
GO

Okay, I Hate Sharon Stone As Much As the Next Person, But This is a Bit Much
GO

Dita Von Tease is Not Hot, You Shitheads. She Dresses Like a Fucking Grandmother
GO

Aubrey O’Day is Slowing Morphing Into Shauna Sand
GO

Madonna is Buying Another Baby
GO

Locksmith Prank Call
GO

Chickens Are Better Than You And Me
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Because Finding Waldo Must Be Pretty Fucking Boring By Now
GO

I Wanna Punch P-Diddy/Diddy/Daddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Combs/ or Whatever The Fuck He Is Calling Himself These Days In The Face
GO

Office Bathroom Prank
GO

Andi Valentino Gallery
GO

Weightless Lesbians!
GO

Here’s a Monkey Ice Skating
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Saphia Has Some Alone Time
GO

Cassie is a Slimmer, Hotter, Less Tranny Look Version of Kimora Lee
GO

Nella is Tasty for a Used Up Whore….
GO

Foreign Street Fight
GO

Oprah Drunk Dial
GO

Some Vintage Richard Pryor from Sesame Street, Motherfucker
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Chick Naked and Masturbating on Photobucket Because it is a Porn Site in Disguise
GO

Some Big Black Cunt
GO

Porno Gets Me Through Depression….
GO

Girls Who Get It Done Right
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Better Than Comics
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Aug

Khloe Kardashian is a Monster Coming To Eat Your Babies of the Day

16 Comments »

Khloe Kardashian is a monster and she is coming to Eat Your Babies….I don’t know what went wrong in this thing’s genetic code, maybe she was born next to powerlines or someshit, but I do know that she’s not human and despite not being human, there are guys horny enough to climb u her giant thigh to get into her monster vagina and that’s something scarier than waking up to her next to you in your bed after a hard night of hard drinking….

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|Monster

2008

Aug

Heidi Montag Has Retarded Fans at This Make a Wish Foundation Day at Kitson of the Day

7 Comments »

I don’t like Heidi Montag because I don’t think she’s hot and I am superficial and have standards when I am hiding behind my computer screen, but none when it comes to getting girls in bars to show me their tits. I find her annoying as fuck as she is always in her bullshit character, living a bullshit lie of a life that MTV puppetmasters have designed for her to maintain ratings and she’s just milking it for all she can, and I get that, because otherwise her future would involve a whole lot of workin’ the stripper pole back in Colorado, or living her rich kid life working for her dad’s company and driving his Porsche, not that I know that they are rich or not, but I am assuming she had a serious contact to make this miracle happen.

Either way, I don’t hate her sister though, her name is Holly and I think she’s the one in these pictures with her. She’s my Facebook friend and she started out ignoring me until I posted all her personal pictures and she reached out the threaten me with a lawsuit if I didn’t take them down. From there we established a solid Facebook friendshi and we send each other random messages a couple of times a month and I try to get her to talk dirty to me and send me nudes and she just tells me real basic shit and cockteases me with promises of going on drinking benders at MTV Video Music Awards and shit like that together and since I missed out on the whole drunken, messy, college girl gangbang Spring Break experience because college is for lesbians and peole too scared to grow up and gt a job and I went straight into addicts and street whores and girls missing teeth, I feel like she’s going to open my life up to great things. The only problem is that I don’t meet people off the internet because I am scared they are going to kidnap and rape me, and despite me being seen as the internet predator, I am actually a fuckin’ paranoid motherfucker who doesn’t trust anyone, even if getting raped and killed would be the most action I’ve had in years, it’s not really something I am going to entertain.

The truth is, the Holly I am talking to could be a 12 year old Filipino faking the shit, but I still like to believe that we are connected at the soul via facebook. If you want more Holly, you’ll have to watch the show because she’s going to be on it and I don’t really think any girl is worth that kind of abuse to yourself because The Hills are the Devils work, and the proof is all these Make a Wish foundation kids treating Heidi like some kind of celebrity, something we all know she isn’t, but it doesn’t matter what we think, it’s what the rest of the world thinks that matters and that scares me.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Retards

2008

Aug

Fergie’s Ass in Some Military Romper of the Day

9 Comments »

I was looking at these Fergie Military uniform pictures and was thinking going to war and fighting for your country wouldn’t be so bad, you get to kill a race of people you were raised to hate because they flew planes into your buildings, you get to be in the hot weather all the fuckin’ time, you don’t have to worry about making yourself dinner and life would pretty much be like a college spring break party with booze, opiates and a bunch of buddies and then you get to come back to base to deal with your female colleagues dressed like this, the kind of outfit you’d expect on a creative stripper who is tired of the whole school girl thing and onto more socially relevant themes like War, but then I remembered what bitches in the Army look like and the only thing I’d want for them is to put on some more clothes to cover those lesbian bodies, and to be put on the front line like they were Black in WWII and Vietnam, because let’s face it, the world needs less penis hating, masculine, empowered dykes who know hand to hand combat.

Either way, I don’t mind when Fergie and her masculine features do it, because she’s still got a body and ex-meth addict face that brings back great memories of cheap back alley blowjobs…

Either way, she’s dressed like a two year old and doesn’t look like one because she’s had too much cock, but I’d still watch her crawl around like one. There’s nothing like an outfit that touches pussy, ass and tits at the same time. It’s some kind of magical even when Fergie’s penis gets in the way.

Posted in:Ass|Fergie|Legs

2008

Aug

Rachel Bilson Rocks a Maternity Dress of the Day

6 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Rachel Bilson swimming in her dress. I know local girls who do that shit here, usually because they are fat and trying to distract you from seeing their fat or because they are pregnant and don’t want you to know they have out of wedlock, unprotected sex with dudes from Canada who are in the new Star Wars trilogy…

Posted in:Maternity Dress|Rachel Bilson|Sluts

2008

Aug

Who’s Gayer, Mischa Barton’s Dog or Her Boyfriend? of the Day

12 Comments »

I haven’t quite figured out what’s gayer, Mischa Barton’s Dog or her Boyfriend. I’d write more, but why bother, no one reads the site anyway, except for assholes that threaten to sue me for illegally using their boring pictures of useless people like Micha Barton walking her fucking dog with her ladder-climbing opportunist boyfriend who thought fake dating Barton would lead to something bigger for him, before finding out the hard reality that her career is pretty much over, that’s what you get for being ambitious buttfucker.

Posted in:Boyfriend|Dog|Gay|Mischa Barton