I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

25

Jun

Britney Spears Stalker Bikini Pictures of the Day

The paparazzi are after me again, so I’ve been laying low. I got hit for every single post I did yesterday. You’d think they’d be too busy running after celebrities to bother with people like me, but I guess they’re making so much money off these fuckers they can afford a staff to cover all angles, and by all angles I mean climbing trees in Britney’s backyard to snap off these pics of her.

Either way, she’s in a bikini and people say she looks pregnant, I say she just looks fat, but the good kind of fat that isn’t floppy and cellulite ridden, so she’s not disgusting to look at. What is disgusting is that I heard that she’s still got an unborn 6 month old dead fetus in her from the last pregnancy that hasn’t been removed because she is emotionally attached to it or some shit and that story may be a lie but it at least it also explains the smell she’s been exuding. It’s one of those kill 2 birds with one AIDS dick situation.

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

2008

25

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

I got fan mail:

Seriously where was the line before you crossed it?

The things you write about her miscarriage are awful, if you wanna write shit about her being an ugly, pig faced, fat, talentless tool then go for it, i for one have no qualms with that, but the death of an unborn child is no laughing matter, and if by any long shot you are actually aware of this then you should take a long hard look at yourself, instead of making fun of the matter, obviously the bird is never going to see your site so it will affect her in no way, but anyone with any ounce of self respect should not be posting this about her.

I appreciate i sound like a fucking 55 year old church regular who helps serve fucking drinks on a sunday or whatever but I ask you please not to write that kind of shit, cuz i fucking love the site and 90% of the shit you write is funny as fuck, but as i said at the start, there was a line and it has been crossed.

I am in no way the fucking internet police or whatever but i’d like to visit your site and not have to scan shit like that.

My Response:

There are no lines to cross when the bitch in question smoked and drank while pregnant. End of story.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are my links that hopefully offend some of you….

Heather Locklear is Desperate for Attention, so She Decided to Check In To Rehab
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Helium Pants Seem Amazing, Though I’m Sure They Won’t Lift My Fat Ass Anywhere
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Ali Larter is Wearing Next to Nothing in Allure Magazine
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Anne Hathaway was Attacked for Being So Fucking Boring….
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Kate Moss Upskirt
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Whoose Boobs the Swimsuit Edition
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Some Crazy Fighting Robots Made by Some Japanese Kids Who Are Way Smarter Than You
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Hot Women Sucking Cigars:
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Some Facebook Leaked Pics of Mary Kate Olsen and Nicole Richie at Some Dude’s Birthday Acting Retarded and Drunk and Smoking…..
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10 Hottest Videos with Yoko Matsugane’s Huge Tits
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Theresa Moore is Bangable
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College Girls Vacation in Dildo Paradise
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Party Prank Goes Wrong
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The Best Soccer Goal Ever
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Make Losing Your Virginity a Reality
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Nicole Scherzinger Panty Upskirt Throwback
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Kim Kardashianís Juggs Come Up For Air
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Soldier Boy and Ice T Are Fighting Like a Couple of 7 Year Old Girls
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Prank Your Roomate With a Table and a Air Horn
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Some Broad Rides 2 Escalators at Once and It is Amazing
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Best Boob Trick I’ve Seen in Awhile
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Pool Dive Makes Danger Fun
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Superman Gets His Soldier Boy On
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Colbie Caillat is Fine, is that Girl Next Door Type of Way
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Gas Station Scuffle Leads to Knock Out
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The Best Porn on the Net, Hands Down. Your Pants.
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Say Hello to Heather and Friends
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Hottest Orgasm Ever Caught on Tape
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What Part of “If You don’t Stop Smoking, You Will Damage Your Lungs Forever” Does Amy Winehouse Not Understand?
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Anne Hathaway’s Ex Boyfriend Got Arrested Again for Fraud
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WTF is Beyonce Doing
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Playground Faceplant
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More Madonna Divorce Rumors
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Getting Sex Has Never Been Easier Then Before
GO GO

How Do You Say “Dirty Ass in Russian”?
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Tanya James is Dressed Up Like a Maid
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Puma and Faith Sho You What’s What
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Vida Guerra’s Ass Was in the Dodger’s Hollywood All-Stars Game
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That Crazy Fat Kid Whole Stole a Car and Beat Up His Grandma is Ready for His 15 Minutes
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Magali Montoro Gives Boners
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Check Out Some Tits in Zoo
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Caught on the Job
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Some Crazy Sluts in the Hooters Parking Lot
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Some Topless Pic of TNA Chick Named Shelly Salinas Martinez – Not Related to Me….
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Carmen Electra Gets Sexy Over Cards
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Body Parts Art: 5 Unique Ways to Use Your Body
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Sexiest Light Beer Ads
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Mark Ronson and Sean Lennon Watched Porn with Sean Lennon
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What’s Gayer than a Rainbow??
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Get to Know Brianna Frost
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Some Funny Porn Blocker Ads in Germany that You Will Like
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James Caan is Getting it on With Pam Anderson
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Celebrities and their Philanthropy is Bullshit
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Miss Boston 2008 Finalists
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Sluts Who Do What You Say
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The Funniest Pictures of Crocs You Will See This Week
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Some Big Brother Germany Chick Takes a Shower
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Barbie Cummings Wants You to Come a Little Closer
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FIND

Disneyworld, the Kids and a Whole Lot of Panty/Nude Pics
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Real Sluts Know How to Get the Job Done Right
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THE ANAL PLAY MINUTE OF THE DAY:

Some Dude Shoved a Cell Phone Up His Ass To Hide it From the Cops and He Failed
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Jack Black Shoved Cereal Up His Ass and Could Be the Cause of His Fat
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

24

Jun

Alyssa Milano Hot Naked Video The Way We Like Her…of the Day

Here’s a video of Alyssa Milano Naked in some recent movie called Pathology. Her nude scene is her dead and getting cut open in some sort of autopsy and it’s pretty fucking sick but you can still see pussy. I assume that some of you are fucked up enough to find this hot as you spent most of your childhood killing your neighborhood cats and other random animals that would cross paths with you and you haven’t quite moved onto bigger things yet, because you aren’t that much of a psycho and you just leave the psychotic thoughts for your masturbation.

I was talking to my friend the other day and he told me about how he plays a game called “Would You” with his friends. It’s basically where different scenarios are laid out and you decide whether you’d d fuck the chick or not. One of the weirder ones was if you’re driving down an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere and you come across a passed out 18 year old hot girl in a mini skirt is lying on the side road like she had been hit by a car or something and you pull over to help her, do you bang her or do you call or help or do you bang her then call for help. I guess fucking a passed out chick is a lot less disgusting than fucking a dead chick, most of the chicks I’ve banged were passed out by by booze or drugs and not by getting hit by a car, so I wouldn’t do it and I’d get her help, but I bet you’re not as wholesome as me you horny fuckin’ creep.

Posted in:Alyssa Milano|Dead|Naked

2008

24

Jun

Lohan Eating Burger of the Day

Here are some pictures of Lohan eating a burger, it’s something she’s pretty good at because she’s given up Hot Dogs and has been practicing a lot. You should take notes, I hear its an easy way to keep that fat chick your fucking around for a few more rounds, but that’s just because fat chicks love food.

My lesbian jokes suck but I heard this one the other day:

What do you call a lesbian with big fingers:
-well hung

That one’s better than mine, it’s kinda the story of my life.

Posted in:Burger|Lindsay Lohan

2008

24

Jun

Kobe Bryant’s Ass of the Day

Sure being married has nothing on raping young chicks in hotel rooms, because they want to make a couple extra bucks by dragging your name through the mud and you want to cum, but at least marriage is a constant. Something that never seems to go away no matter how badly you wish it did because you hate your wife more than you hate yourself and every little thing she does makes you want to jump off the fire escape of your third floor shit-hole of an apartment, even her smell and the way she breathes gets under your skin leading you to reach for the bottle because it’s the only way you can deal with the fact that she won’t get a divorce because she finds it embarrassing and admitting failure and even if she did want a divorce you wouldn’t be able to afford your modest lifestyle because her disability check is your life support. It’s a fucking trap or prison sentence at least that’s what I’ve heard.

Here are some pictures of Kobe Bryant’s wife’s ass in a bikini.

Posted in:Ass|Kobe Bryant

2008

24

Jun

Kristen Bell Bending and Stretching of the Day

I know you want to fuck Kristen Bell and it must bother you to see her bending and stretching for one of two reasons. Either she’s sore from how hard Dax Shepard slammed the shit out of her, or she’s preparing to bang the shit out of him. It’s the excitement of young love where sex is the priority and you can’t get your hands off each other no matter where you are because the raw sexual energy takes over all levels of thought and logic and it must be pretty painful for you to watch because the only thing raw in your sex life is your dick for rubbin’ it down to the bone.

Either way you can be happy to know she’s rockin’ the birth control patch on her leg so that this cocksucker Dax doesn’t accidentally pollute her womb with his spawn that I can only assume will be a lot easier to hate than him.

Posted in:Kristen Bell|Yoga

2008

24

Jun

Katherine Heigl is in her Bikini Again of the Day

This is the third set of pictures that hit of Katherine Bell in her bikini on vacation and it’s come to the point where it is just gratuitous. I guess she figures the more she puts herself out there the more likely we’ll get used to the mess that is her ass and decided that she’s hot and worth fucking. It’s like the immediate shock we once had of her cellulite ridden legs is behind us and we’ve come to terms with things, digested them and are ready to cum on her face. It’s a decent strategy that reminds me of everytime I show a girl my penis and she looks at it with disgust but after a few months and a few drinks and some sweet talking she decides small or not it’s worth taking for a ride because there’s nothing else around at there’s a gun pointed at my head. Nothing like being the enforcer of good times.

Posted in:Bikini|Katherine Heigl

2008

24

Jun

Cheryl Tweey Cole in her Animal Print Bathing Suit of the Day

I read somewhere that Cheryl Tweedy Cole is trying to save her marriage and in doing that she’s decided to go on vacation with her husband to re-connect which basically means spend a couple days together fucking. I figure that since this bitch’s life is a vacation since she barely works and married a rich athlete and since she’s been spotted by the pool in her bathing suit so many fucking times in the last 2 years, that running off to the pool won’t do much for them.

I guess what it comes down to is that when the novelty of the big dick and dreams of being with a rap superstar wear off, they are just two people from the opposite sides of the tracks and I don’t know who they were trying to fool in this union, I knew it was only a matter of time before racism would prevail and their little fairytail union would fall apart and now no white dude’s going to want to get a piece because she’s damaged goods. Interracial relationships just don’t work, White Power.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Tweedy Cole

2008

24

Jun

Orlando Bloom’s Naked Ass of the Day

Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom on a vacation tanning naked as they are supposed to. The highlight of the pictures have to be finally seeing Orlando Bloom’s ass. Dude was so dreamy in Pirates that I’ve just been waiting for this day for the last 5 years. It’s days like today that I want to take off my Crocodile Dundee Hat, put my pet Kangaroo back in his cage, drink a couple of Beers and sing Waltzing Matilda to celebrate Australia because I support all things white trash and Australia was pretty much built on that shit and deserves some fuckin’ love for their naked exports that are a lot more worthy of love than Vegemite or Steve Irwin.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Miranda Kerr|Naked|Orlando Bloom|Topless

2008

24

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

It is some French person festival in this city today, it is a time for French people to unite and celebrate all things french, like poverty, chain smoking, drinking and having illegitimate children all while hating english people. I decided to go to the frenchest of bars in hopes of finding some willing sluts to come back to my hotel room, and by hotel room I mean the back alley, to see some tits. Instead, I got spat on and got drinks thrown on me because I can’t speak french. I felt like a black in the south, a Jew in the Nazi Germany and despite getting wastede, It wasn’t as amazing a celebration as I thought it would be – but here are my links for you because they are an amazing celebration. Cuddles.


Let’s Watch George Carlin’s “7 Words” Together
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The 2 Corey’s Were Most Probably Molested by Michael Jackson
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Trailer for the NEw Joy Division Documentary
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Daisy de la Hoya is…Uhhhh….Hmmmm Could be a Whore But is Probably a Man
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I Don’t Want to Alarm Anyone Here, But Jennifer Lopez is a Huge Fucking Bitch
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Britney Spears’ Udders Have some Pokies
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The Best Cover of Bob Marley’s Buffalo Soldier EVER!
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The 10 Best Local TV Ads
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The 10 Funniest Moments in Boob Grabbing History
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Kate Hudson and Lance Armstong Public Display of Fucking
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Janet Jackson’s Sexy History:
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Liv Tyler Looking Hot for Once
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Have an Affair at Work the Proper Way
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Slag has Fun on Camera with Her New Toy
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Dancin’ Round the World
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Sluts to Start Your Week Off Right
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Get Laid, It’s The Right Thing to Do
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Garbage Shoot Yeeehaw!!
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Marisa Miller Looks Hot in Black and White
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Now THAT’S How You Steal a Purse!
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Jenny Nickol is a Hot Piece
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Jessica Simpson Would Like to Clear Something
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Amy Winehouse Battling Emphysema from Smokin Too Much Crack
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How Would You Spend 164 Millio Dollars?
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Make Use of your Works Speedy Internet Connection to the FULLEST
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Kelly Rowland Took an HIV Test For Charity. Or Maybe Cause She Thinks She Hads AIDS
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Jennifer Aniston is Holding on to John Mayer for Dear Life
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Photoshop Award of the Day
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Striptease of the Day
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Yana Cova gets busty with her toy
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Getting Sex via a Helping Hand That Isn’t You Own
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Football Sluts Are The Only Good Part of Football
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I Am Never Taking an Elevator Ever Again
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Let’s Live Viacariously….
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And That’s Why You Don’t Have Sex With a Drunk Trick
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Hitler Could Sing, Who Knew?
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Olivia Wilde is Tasty
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Linda Hogan is Dumb As Shit
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Mischa Marton Topless Throwback
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Cali Logan Looks Sexy in Glasses
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Funny Viral Called How To Become a Pornstar That I May Have Already Linked But It’s Funny Enough to Link Again
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Some Pornstar Who Drank A Little Too Much Funniness
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Really Weird Public Sex Video
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Jamie Lynn Spears is a Genius
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Larry Birkhead Wants the Memory of Anna Nicole to Live On via Her Underpants
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Awesome Beatboxer
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Megan Fox is Amazing
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Web Cunts to Make Your Day Better
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Dirty Orientals is the Best Buffet Money Can Buy
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Office Play Makes for Big Fun
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Girl Shows Off Her Vagina
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Some Emo Chick Shows Off Her Tits
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Some Girls on Spring Break Flash Their Tits
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BONUS: Club Sluts the Only Way You’ll Ever Get to Experience Them. Loser
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Posted in:stepLINKS