I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

24

Apr

Katie Price is Haggard Fake Titted Whore Who Dresses like She’s “THIS” Many of the Day

I saw an old lady on a date with a young black dude. I guess they could really have a connection and met in a normal wholesome way, but I like to think she’s doing it to be adventurous and naughty as her sexual peak teeters off. She’s probably trying to fill a void but not the void of being lonely and feeling undesirable after being dumped by her successful husband for a younger hotter model, but the void that is her vagina after having 3 kids and 4 decades of use. It’s probably a big ol’ mess in her lacy underwear she bought after getting a brazilian in hopes of gettin’ new dick.

Speaking of old ladies, here’s a picture of Jordan lookin’ fucking old and haggard. I won’t let her club slut version of a 7 year old girl’s outfit throw me off but I will let her tits throw me…kick me…suffocate me and pretty much do anything they want to me, not because I like retarded fake tits but because they look like they have a life of their own and a whole lot of attitude, kinda like her little boyfriend in his Ed Hardy shirt….because when a dude wears Ed Hardy you know he means business and by business I mean gay sex.

Posted in:Fake Tits|Jordan|Katie Price

2008

24

Apr

Olivia Munn Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

Virgins like Olivia Munn and I like making fun of virgins, especially when they are in their late 20s who collect action figures, who love comic books and who spend their lives hiding in their apartment filled with computer equipment. The same kind of virgin who got excited when Geek Chic became popular 5 years ago, thinking that it was finally their time to shine, until that fad faded fast, leaving them alone to watch TV shows designed for teenage girls, even though they are more sexually inexperienced than teenage girls and can hardly relate to the subject matter and other shit like G4TV because they have a crush on the host who pretends she can relate to geeks by reading a script and lookin’ decent enough for the geeks to feel like they really have someone they can connect with, even though she’s on TV and not on their couch watching Star Trek with them.

None of that matters, what does matter is that Olivia Munn got into her bikini again for the geeks to get more excited about how hot they think she is, but that hotness is probably 95 percent delusion that she’s actually into the same shit as they are – when in reality, she’s just into the paycheck and the whole getting on TV thing because every girl who thinks she’s hot also thinks she deserves fame and fortune, even when they don’t and the closest they can get is a third rate show on a third rate cable channel only losers care about.

Posted in:Bikini|Olivia Munn|Photoshoot

2008

24

Apr

Denise Richards Paddle Surfs of the Day

I am pretty depressed today because I found out that my piece of shit computer that I got for 40 dollars and that broke on me this past weekend died because of its hard drive. Now that may not mean much to any of you who only use your but it’s a big deal to me because I was writing my memoirs and had at least 20 pages that I won’t be able to recreate because I was drunk when I wrote them and never re-read them and was saving them as some kind of surprise a surprise I will not be able to ever experience. The good news is that everyone I tell this to asks me if I did a back-up, ask why I didn’t do a back-up and tell me that I should have done a back-up because that’s what they are for. Thanks for the advice, asshole.

At least I can get pleasure from looking at these useless pictures of a useless Denise Richards doing a useless paddle surf because it’s real surfing’s gay younger brother all while in a useless bikini top because her body is sloppy, therefore useless and has no need for a bikini top, and it’s all for a useless reality show that shell make a lot more money on than I ever but at least I am not the only one that’s useless in the world.

Posted in:Bikini Top|Denise Richards

2008

24

Apr

Billie Piper Topless Beach Pictures of the Day

Billie Piper was the Miley Cyrus of her generation in the UK. I know nothing about her, but she had some number 1 songs in 1997 when she was 15 and I guess she never really made it all that big because instead of continuing her career she went and got married to some older guy radio host who she divorced to re-marry the weird lookin’ dude she’s with in these pictures.

The word is that she’s pregnant and that would explain why her tits look like shit and she should worry about covering them up instead of getting them some sun, but I guess if she had that attitude she probably would have never got into that whole mess that ruins your body called pregnancy in the first place.

Posted in:Beach|Billie Piper|Topless

2008

24

Apr

Holland TV Host Pedophile of the Day

Someone emailed me this video of some TV host in Holland who got a little too close to a little boy during a duet they performed together. I guess it could be the passion that one feels when singing with someone else, or maybe dude is just into little boys and wants the world to know because he’s tired of hiding it but I am going to say that shit is just a joke and a better joke than anything that airs on American TV because in America everything is censored and sex with little boys is so wrong that we can’t joke around about it. Now, I totally agree that sex with little boys is completely wrong and sick but I also know that it goes down and we should be able to laugh about it.

Posted in:Holland|Pedophile

2008

24

Apr

Ray J Gives Advice on Pickin’ Up Chicks of the Day

I know nothing about Ray J, other than the Kardashian Sex tape that made him a million dollars an made her 5 million dollars and lead to her TV show and other jobs. He’s Brandy’s brother and he fucks a lot of girls and this dude got with him and talked about getting pussy.

I don’t know if I’d ask a dude who fucked a fat girl how he got with her, I figure his strategy was simple and that is either offer her some food or give her some attention since everyone always goes for her friend, but then I realized I am talking about Kim Kardashian who think she’s substantially better lookin’ than she actually is so she’s probably a hard pussy to crack because of the ego, but he did get with her before all that hit and she was just his sister’s useless stylist so who fuckin’ knows.

The whole pick up artist movement is funny because I think it works. I have never read much about how to manipulate girls into the bedroom but from the shit I’ve seen negative hits and playing hard to get work. You gotta make a girl feel insecure so you tease her in a way that I don’t tease girls because every girl hates me after about a minute with me, but you make a comment about her hair or outfit that will keep her thinkin’ about it wondering what you meant. An example would be saying “is your hair real” or “those shoes look comfortable”. It just get their wheels turning enough to give you the upper hand and make them want to impress you or prove themselves to you. The next step is to no obsess over them because you have the in, you gotta play it cool like you don’t want their pussies and then all of a sudden they’ll be trying to win you over by throwing their pussies at you.

Ray J’s advice is to use aggressiveness on the classy girls…like pull them aside, tell them to come with you, demand a number and they won’t know how to react so they’ll just go along with it and his other advice is to be corny or make cheesy jokes because girls are into corny jokes it reminds them of playing with My Little Pony and Barbie and seems harmless and cute.

Now the easiest way to get pussy is just to pay for it because a girlfriend has proven to be more expensive than 7 five dollar blowjobs, but if you’re not into the whole paying for sex directly and prefer the paying for sex indirectly because it’s more of a challenge, the key for you to get pussy is to leave your house.

Posted in:Advice|Ray J

2008

24

Apr

Mischa Barton’s Shitty Sex Scene of the Day

So Mischa Barton is trying to revitalize her career after being a drunken useless whore with fat thighs who was the worst actor on the show the OC which says a lot about how bad she is at acting considering the show was the equivalent of a Soap Opera in quality and Soap Operas remind me of some shitty college student video project or porn without the fucking. The movie is called Closing the Ring and I don’t know when it hit theaters or if it hit theaters but I do know that Mischa got topless in it and I’ve got the clip of her in action.

The one thing I hate about sex scenes in movies is that they aren’t realistic, sex is supposed to be dirty and sloppy and awkward, it’s never thei gay romantic shit where you gaze into your lovers eyes and tell them how much they mean to you while you spend 15 minutes kissing her in a loose fitting top that gives the audience a glimpse of her breast before dude has his way with her in positions that just aren’t real. I’ve always said that if I ever right a movie, the sex will be real, there will be penetration, none of this high school grinding shit that gets girls horny and makes guys feel like they can never deliver the goods proper because they aren’t gay actors and actually want to stick our dick’s inside.

I guess all that matters is that Hollywood sex scenes do it for you because you finally get to see some starlet you like in compromising positions and you probably don’t care about how fuckin’ bullshit the whole scenario is, because you just want to get tits and you don’t let things like Soap Opera caliber performances upset you. Unfortunately, I do and I hate Mischa Barton more than I did 5 minutes ago.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Sex Scene|Topless

2008

24

Apr

FHM’s Top 100 Hot Chick List

People like lists and I am not sure why but I do know that online Top 10, Top 15, Top Anything lists do well. If this site was a Top 10 site, my traffic would be through the fuckin’ roof and that kinda makes me want to start doing these kinds of lists because they seem pretty easy to compile since no real logic goes into them, they are solely based on opinion.

I like to think they are successful because we have no real thought process of our own and like shit to be served on a platter because we are lazy and so the next time we are with a group of friends we have something to talk about or debate because coming up with our own topics of conversation is hard and every dude can get down to a who’s hotter conversation like we were 14 and talking about the girls in our class.

I don’t see why knowing the Top 100 girls according to a magazine or according to anyone is relevant to anyone’s life. The truth is that all these magazines and sites compile these lists, get a lot of buzz about who they choose and include and the order they put them in. I just find it a waste of time to argue whether Alba is hotter than Britney or Lohan or Cuthbert, the fact is we’d fuck all of them and their order of hotness is pretty useless to me since I would fuck all of them, their home phone numbers and emails would be a little more useful because at least then I could use my charm to seduce them and by seduce I mean call the police and get me arrested for stalking them.

I always get in the argument that if any girl gets naked, no matter how disgusting she is, guys will watch and probably enjoy the show, so to say that one bitch is hotter than the next is bullshit because what I find hot, my friends don’t find hot, so seeing a list like this is pretty much a whole lot of bullshit, kinda retarded but since everyone does them, I’d rather be talking about FHM’s than some shitty men’s site, because at least FHM is a real publication and not a whole bunch of cheesy virgin dudes behind a screen….

To See the Entire List You’ll Just Have To….
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Megan Fox in a Black Dress

Megan Fox in a Grey Dress

Megan Fox in a Red Dress

Megan Fox Plays With Her Boyfriend’s Boner

Posted in:FHM|Hot Chicks|Top 100

2008

24

Apr

Karla Edecan NSFW Mexican Sex Tape of the Day

Her name is Karla Edecan, she’s a Mexican Cheerleader and she has a sex tape. I am not like my black friend who always looked the other direction when a black girl would get up on stage to strip. He thought that shit was going against all his people had gone through and that disgusted him. I feel like seeing a hot Mexican chick getting fucked brings me back to my roots and doesn’t go against much and feel like every single girl should be documenting their sex so that I can get a glimpse into it as that is the closest I will ever get to fuckin’ them….

Either way, she lost her deal promoting the Mexican phone company which from what I heard is just two messenger donkeys, but it’s still a big deal for her I guess….and I am surprised considering everyone has a fuckin’ sex tape these days. We shouldn’t be slapping these girls hands to punish them, we should be inserting dildos in their asses and filming the shit because that is the next level of entertainment…at least according to me.

Posted in:Karla Edecan|Mexican|Sex Tape

2008

23

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I did my good deed for the year today. It’s actually the first good deed I’ve done in a long time because people are generally afraid of me and stay as far away from me as possible, but today I was the only one around and this woman with huge post-pregnancy tits was trying to get her baby up a flight of stairs and asked for my help. I never say no to a big set of tits despite the danger I was putting my near death self and her baby into so I grabbed the stroller and did my thing. She didn’t really appreciate when I asked if she breast fed but still politely answered yes because you don’t want to fuck with a homeless lookin’ dude holding onto your baby carriage. When I said that the baby was lucky was when she grabbed the carriage herself and finished the job, but I think it still counts and helping and I got me some fuckin’ good karma points which comes in handy when you spend your days being a cocksucker to everyone on the internet.

Here are my links….

Check Out a Bunch of Galleries of Sluty Party Chicks
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Nicole Richie Lost her Pregnancy Tits
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Mariah Carey Has Record Breaking Cleavage
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Fun From Japan
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Kelly Brooke is a Single slut
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I Don’t Know Who This Bitch is, But Her Nipples Are Hard and She is Black. That’
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Webcam Sluts Here
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Use This to Get Sex, Because You Are a Loser and Can’t Do That on Your Own
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This Japanese Chick Looks Like a Real Doll
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More Galleries of Real Girls
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Christina Milian Gallery
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Let’s Hope She Writes About Her First Orgasm
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Paris Hilton Banned From Russian Hotel for Being a Diseased Whore, or Something to That Effect
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Kelly Clarkson Likes to Let Her Cunt Hang Out, Even When She Has Company Over
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Find Girls to Fuck
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More Miranda Kerr
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Katie Price Celebrates Being a Slut
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Amateur Strip Down of the Day
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I Want to Punch Tila Tequila in the Face and by Punch I Mean Fuck….
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Pam is a Hot, Naked Latina Chick
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Find Your Porn
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Nikki Sluts it Up on the Web Cam
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Lookin Good Sweetheart Singing Some Like a Virgin or Something Like that….
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Why Kids Move Out
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Amanda Righetti is Some No Name, But She’s Lookin Fine
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Top 10 Huge Natural Boob Topless Scenes
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More Amy Winehouse Insanity
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Rinaldo’s Girlfriend Topless and Posing….
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Some Guy Cleans Out His Chick’s Anus
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2 Guys and a Horse….Can’t Be Safe….But Funny…Thanks Goldemberg…For Ruining My Day…
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Vote Me For Best Blog in Montreal…Because I am….
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Here are 14 Celebrity Sluts Who Like Guns
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Kim Kardashian’s Camel Toe
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Lynne Spears is Disappointed in Her Slut of a Daughter but I am Not…I Love Teenage Pregnancy
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These Drawings of Sluts Are Hotter Than Most Sluts You See in Real Life…Maybe Cuz You Never Leave Your House…
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Some Sluts Wrestling in Jelly
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People Are Strange
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OJ Simpson May Be on The Celebrity Apprentice. Hopefully One of the Challenges Involves Kiling Two People and Getting Away With It
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The Fucking Japanese People Think of Everything, I Swear
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Korean Karaoke Video
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Ashley Simpson Attempts to Sing and Dance on Leno
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Jessica Sirio is Hot and Hanging Out in Her Bikini
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Learn to Last Longer in Bed, Because a Minute and a Half Don’t Cut It
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Learn Some Sex Positions
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From Photobucket

Some Asian Getting Naked For You
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A Whole Lot of Half Naked Chicks
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Some Pimply Dude and Some Hairy Chick Document Their Sex Life
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Posted in:Uncategorized