I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

18

Mar

Milk Does a Teenage Body Good Anthem of the Day

Here’s some glam rock weirdness that makes no fuckin’ sense to me. I figured it’d be a good way to start the day because let’s face it we all need an anthem to start our day off and today this is mine, not because I like the song or the video but because it celebrates dairy and there’s nothing more important to me than milk. It is jacked with hormones that force girls to go through puberty years before they are supposed and is part of the reason 16 year old girls everywhere have big titties. Thanks Milk….Now, watch the video.

Posted in:Milk|Music Video|Twins|Weird

2008

17

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

Some Girl wrote this in the comments:

all of u are gross…and whoever writes this website…u are such a disgusting asshole. your just mad cuz shes hotter then ur fat nasty wife apparently…and so wat if she has money. if u dont like it go and get a job and stop bitching. i hope ur wife knows wat a piece of shit u r.

And I decided to respond to her, this is what I wrote:

Stephanie, your cutting words gave me a boner, Do you want me to send you a picture or would you rather I mail you a sperm sample that you can use to knock yourself up. Even lesbians need babies too and I am here to help momma.

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are my links:


Heather’s Mills Can Use Her Divorce Money to Buy a Fancy New Wooden Leg
GO

Australian Stunner Siobhan Parekh
GO

Mariana de Melo is Too Fucking Hot for You, Virgin
GO

Screen Shot from Kristen Davis’ Sex Tape
GO

A Collection of Girls Doing Stuff for the Camera, Because You Don’t Get to See Girls in Real Life
GO

Make a Shaving Cream Bomb and Cause Some Shit
GO

Angelina Jolie Takes Her Pregnant Tits for a Walk
GO

In the 1970s Even the Libraries in NYC Were Sleazy – Thanks Giuliani for Taking It All Away From Us
GO

Rod Stewart is a Dried Up Homo, Which Explains Why is Wife is hott for an Old Bitch
GO

Foot Fetish Me – I’m Irish – New Shot by Kern Interview With a Fetish Model
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These Are The Kind of Parties That Don’t let Losers Like You In
GO

More Broads You Will Never Have the Pleasure of Touching in Person
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The Way a REAL Mechanic Should Be
GO

The 50 Worst Movies of All Time
GO

Toccara Jones is Some Next Top Model and She’s Posing With Her Cleavage…
GO

Sam Cooke is A Very Dirty Dancer Video
GO

Isabeli Fontana is the Kind of Girl You Think About While You’re Mom Makes You Lunch
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Daryl Strawberry’s Son is a DJ and This is His Slutty Girlfriend
GO

The Madonna and Justin Timberlake Song for the Homos…
GO

Britney Spears is Hanging Out with Mel Gibson the Jew Hater
GO

Drew Barrymore Was a Lot More Fun When She was on Drugs and Flashed Her Tits All The Time
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Tom Cruise is Wrapping Up a Deal to Sign Will Smith for a Lifelong Contract to the Other Team
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Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie are Better than You
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Lohan Will Pretty Much Hang Out with Anyone, Except Me
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Somebody is Going to Get Fired for This Shit Right Here
GO

Porn Shoot Argument, Because Art Needs to Be Perfect
GO

Kelly Brooke is Naked on the Beach
GO

Some Amateur Awesome Boobies Up in Here
GO

Jamie-Lynn Puts it in the Hole Like Her Baby Daddy Did to Her
GO

Ashton Kutcher is a Robot, But He Fucks Demi Moore Every Night, So More Power To Him
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Raven Riley Wants to Celebrate St Patricks Day With You
GO

Use this to Find Girls to Fuck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Learn to Moonwalk So you Can Entice Young Boys to Your House
GO

I Will Never Look At Jumping Jacks The Same Way Againd
GO

Halle Berry Popped, Bring on the Nursing Tits!
GO

Lohan Spends Way too Much Money of Making Herself Look Dirty
GO

These Guys Made One of the Raddest Machines Ever
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Harold and Kumar 2 Trailer
GO

Steve-O Trys for More Attention Since he is Barely Famous Anymore
GO

Leila Arcieri is Underworked, but in Her Underwear
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Some Irish Bands in Honor or Leprechans, Clovers and Beer
GO

Ghostbusters, The Video Game. Because Bustin’ Makes Me Feel Good!
GO

Some Crazy Previously Unseen Pics from Nick Hogans Car Crash
GO

Bust a Nut Without Busting a Nut
GO

What’s Your Limit in Terms of Sex Partners?
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

17

Mar

Pam Anderson’s Vagina Magic of the Day

Pam Anderson works for some magician in Vegas when she’s not too busy having sex, neglecting her kids, doing tons of cocaine, getting marriage annulments and whatever the fuck else a washed up whore who is only famous for her tits does with her time when her face can’t stay as young and fresh as the rest of her.

I guess the magic trick they are working on is the disappearing panty, or maybe the trick is the fact that her haggard vagina can still fit inside a pair of underwear, but barely because you can see some lip and not the ones injected with collagen, I’m talkin the ones injected with hepatitis cock. Enjoy.

Posted in:Magic|Pam Anderson|Panties|Vagina

2008

17

Mar

Tara Reid Does Spring Break in Cancun of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Sure Tara Reid never went to college, but she played enough roles in movies as the all-american college girl, and that’s probably just as good of an education as American colleges offer. Reality is that half the population already think she’s some college graduate because they saw it happen on screen and to them that is reality because no one has ever taught them the difference between real or fake. This are the same people who are taping pictures of their favorite stars to their pocket pussies and bringing them home to meet their parents when their mom’s bug them enough to finally meet their girlfriends…..

Reality is that Tara Reid doesn’t need an education, she has more money than most people who work all their lives and she has the luxury of living the college party girl until she dies of alcohol poisoning at 40 and here she is in her early 30s rockin’ out in Cancun during Spring Break like she was 18. Sure she’s not flashing her tits, or eating pussy on stage like the other college girls but she’s a seasoned veteran there to offer support to the fresh meat on their first encounter with STDs from multiple sex partners in any given day because she’s already been there and done that. The good news is that she’s not a fat mid western wreck like most Cancun party goers, so here she is in a bikini sobering up before the big nights she has ahead of her hosting Middle Aged Women Gone Wild…because that’s pretty much what she is and that’s why I want to see her naked.

The Paparazzi Made Me Take Down the Pics But You Can See Them Here
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Cancun|Spring Break|Tara Reid

2008

17

Mar

Mel B’s Got Some New Bikini Pics of the Day

Everyone is ripping on Scary Spice’s bikini pics because they think she looks like a fuckin’ wreck. Her last pics showed off some sort of growth or rash on her ass and the truth is that’s the kind of girl I am into. I think she looks pretty fuckin’ tight for a 30 something year old with a kid. It looks like the only damage done to her is an excessive amount of drinking and drugs, and if you were a retired Spice Girl with lots of money and not much to do with yourself, other than star on shitty reality TV shows about dancing, you’d be on drugs too.

The truth is that I like my women lookin’ like street whores because it helps me live out a whole lot of fantasies without having to deal with the smells or insanity that comes with letting a crack whore in your house and that’s why these bikini pics are the hottest thing to hit since the last time I punched my wife in the face for crossing the line. Unfortunately for me, my wife is twice my size and she didn’t get as into me trying to beat her up as I thought she would so she ended up pulling some kind of wrestling move that I didn’t think she had the stamina to do, leaving me bruised and bed ridden for 3 days, but it was worth it because it kept her off my jock and having her try to hustle my dick is pretty fuckin’ scary…a hell of a lot scarier than Scary Spice in a bikini.

Posted in:Bikini Ass|Mel B|Scary Spice

2008

17

Mar

Mariah Cary Flashes Her Panties on SNL of the Day

I am the first to hate on Saturday Night Live for being some candy coated comedy show that doesn’t push any fucking limits ever or make me laugh. Their claim to fame in the 70s was that no one else was doing what they were doing. They were all so jacked on coke and they’d make fun of shit and show things you couldn’t find anywhere else on TV, but then the internet hit and TV became this lame censored place where no one could really do anything shocking or interesting or even that funny, unless they were on a cable channel.

The good news is that Saturday Night Live redeemed themselves this past weekend with a Mariah Carey panty slip, sure it’s about 10 years too late, but I think she’s still worth watching. The only thing that gets me down is the fact that she wasn’t too crazy or depressed to enough to forget her underwear, because a little vagina on Saturday Night Live would do them some good, and I don’t mean more Tina Fey or Molly Shannon, cuz those sluts are broken the fuck down….I am talking about Mariah Carey’s beav.

Watch the Video:

2008

17

Mar

Jennifer Aniston’s Bikini Ass of the Day

I was reading some women’s magazine the other day, as I like to do, to keep in touch with the other gender. I feel like it fills me with useless information that I can use to seduce women into getting naked for me on webcam because I generally don’t leave my house. My theory is that if you understand what the other species is reading and being fed, you can understand what they are thinking and in turn use it to your advantage in getting a hot young vulnerable girl to flash her tits for the sake of flashing her tits, as long as you use a language they understand.

So this week I learned that there are more men than women in the world so something like 4% of women will never get married, never have a family, never grow old with someone and will instead just die alone. My initial thought was that the 4% of girls who never get married were ugly, fat, disgusting women that no dude would want to end up with, but it turns out that a lot of them are hot, successful and just missed the fuckin’ boat. Maybe they were just saying that to make the lonely, vulnerable, fat disgusting readers feel better about themselves so that they don’t go jumping off any bridges, but maybe it’s true and if it is, Jennifer Aniston is one of those. The only difference is that she was already married, she just wasn’t good at it and forced her man to leave her.

So all the money in the world, all the re-runs of friends with her hard nipples, a hot bikini body still don’t help her lock down a cock, but the reality is that you’d all wait in line to get up in this, she just thinks she’s too good for you because Brad Pitt gave her unrealistic self-worth, even after destroying her on all levels, her low self esteem and rejected self still thinks she’s too good for you…..so stare at her ass and show her who’s boss in the privacy of your own room in your mom’s basement.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|Tits

2008

17

Mar

Morning stepLINKS of the Day

I have a serious habit of forgetting to do the links on Friday after drinking too much by Friday afternoon that I’m either passed the fuck out or hunting a good fucking time. Unfortunately I never find that good time and the weekend is always a fuckin’ blur because I just can’t seem to know when to stop. I guess that doesn’t matter, but I figured since I put together Half my Links I might as well post them to start the day off and here they are.

The Unveiling of the Pussy Cat Doll Lingerie Line…With Girls in Lingerie
GO

Behind the Scenes at a Sandee Westgate Photoshoot
GO

The Hogans are Assholes and Use Crippled dudes to Get Ahead while You Just Use them to get Head….
GO

Penny Lancaster is Topless on the Beach for Rod Stewart
GO

Lucy Pinder Gets a Massage Video
GO

Lindsay Lohan to Release Her Own Line of Leggings
GO

Kate Walsh Cleavage Action
GO

How To Wax a Bikini Line Without the Mess
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Some Club Sluts in Lingerie To Start Your Day
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Paris Hilton Claims that She is in True Love With Charlotte’s Sister
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These Girls Will FInger Their Asses For You…All You Gotta Do is Ask
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The Top 5 Most Terrifying Gnome Videos
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How Good Are You At Observing – Test
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Some Compilation Video of Weird People on the Web
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Spitzer’s Whore Shoots a Music Video
GO

Nicole Kidman’s Bodyguard Beats a Paparazzi Up
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Some Kid Kills a Bat Video
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Nicole Richie’s Haggard Face has Some Tits
GO

Some Crazy Bikini Models Fight After a Photoshoot
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George Clooney’s Cocktail Waitress Reaps The Benefits of Dating George Clooney and Now She’s Modeling GO

Half Naked Chicks Showing Off Their Shitty Tattoos
GO

Heather Locklear is Alive With Hard Nipples
GO

A Set of Hot Twins Rockin’ a Hot Sailer Outfit
GO

Some Woman Takes a 2 Year Dump and Grows Attached to the Toilet
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The Naked News Girls at a Press Conference Naked
GO

Jonah Hill Fags Out With a Dude on SNL. What People Do To Make Other People Laugh Can Be Pretty Gay
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET:

Some Pro Lookin’ Masturbation Shots
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Same Chick Goes Lesbian
GO

Same Chick Just Posin…
GO

Some Girl’s Vagina Up Close
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Anaise Feels Herself
GO

Latinas
GO

Young and Busty chicks
GO

Pre-Release — The Black Keys
GO

Shallow Grave OST
GO

Billy Joel – An Innocent Man
GO

The Clash – Black Market Clash
GO

Electric Light Orchestra – Definitive Collection
GO

Slightly Stoopid – Closer to the Sun
GO

Tiny Amy
GO

Japan makes Wierd shit
GO

Oh Look! Cupcakes
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

14

Mar

Kate Beckinsale Hangs With a Homeless Lookin’ Dude of the Day

I know the dude with Kate Beckinsale is being photographed with is younger, cleaner, more attractive, less creepy, richer and has way more style that any of your virgin creeps, but the reality is that he’s not the conventional kind of person you’d expect to see hanging out with a celebrity you want to fuck. I know he’s not fucking her, or ever going to see her again brings hope to you.

Hope that all your cards play out the way you want them to and the you will one day you be next to Kate Beckinsale too, because cumming in your pants while she signs an autograph for you is a hell of a lot more exciting than jerking off on her printed up picture like you have been doing since you first saw her in underworld and realized she’d look great nice to your Star Wars action figure collection….

I guess if hope is what keeps you from killing yourself, then I am glad that I saved yet another life. I’m a modern day hero…..send nudes.

Posted in:Homeless|Kate Beckinsale|Tits

2008

14

Mar

Mena Suvari’s Lame Lesbian Tattoo of the Day

So Mena Suvari is a lesbian and this is her tattoo…it says Word, Sound and Power, in the event you don’t know how to read, which is pretty fucking possible considering the shit I attract to this site. Now for those of you who don’t know, Word, Sound and Power was some Reggae band in the 70s/80s and there was a movie about them that played at all art-house movie theaters in the 80s. I watched a documentary on the late night feature and this one was almost as popular as Rocky Horror Picture show. I guess it changed Mena Suvari’s life or some shit because she got it permanently branded on her back. Who knows, maybe they paid her to do it for the DVD release or some shit.

This is a lot like the time I convinced a whore I was fucking and who actually fell in love with me because whores turn out to be pretty vulnerable and always fall for the first guy who doesn’t ask them to insert things in their assholes, to tattoo my name on her pussy mound, knowing I was going to dump her a few weeks later, but just because I thought it was only fair to brand myself on her for life, like she branded me for live with the herpes virus. I also figured that I could become a local legend by using her pussy as a marketing tool, like some kind of billboard that all the Johns she’d later end up fucking for money would askwho this “Jesus Martinez” motherfucker on her pussy mound was leading her to tell the story of how I broke her heart and was the one who got away….

I guess Mena Suvari’s tattoo is not really like that story at all, and more like you getting your favorite band branded on you for life because their songs move you so much, only difference is that Mena Suvari’s getting pussy in all this and you’re not….

Posted in:cleavage|Mena Suvari|Tattoo