If I was stuck on an island with a bunch of dudes and Evangeline Lily, I would probably try to slam her. Not because she’s all that hot, but because there’s really not much else more to do on a fucking island, the days are long, the sun is hot, and it would probably take me about 5 minutes before turning completely primal…either way, I don’t watch her show, it bores me, and I don’t care that she’s jogging in a bikini. I only posted it for you. You can thank me if girls running in bikinis is your thing….

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Did you think I forgot about this feature? Fuck that, I was just being lazy the last 2 months. I am fucking mexican and an alcoholic, what do you expect from me? It was summer, and the sun just fucks me up. Either way, this is the hottest t-shirt I have seen in a long fucking time. It’s called the evolution of the bush and you need to get one for yourself….cuz it will get you the attention you need. I am tired of dealing with you being a hermit…you need to get the fuck out of the basement and out on the street. Do it in this shirt…Girls will love you for it…if girls are your thing…if they aren’t…I can respect that. DrunkenStepfather.com is gay friendly.

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Being a celebrity means you need to have causes. Elton John is gay, so he supports AIDS. Michael J. Fox can’t stop shaking for Parkinson’s, so he hooks that shit up. Britney’s selling her used underwear(like the trash that she is) for Katrina and now Liz Hurley is doing her thing for Breast Cancer. I assume it is because she has breasts. She even went the extra mile to rock a pink dress, and everyone knows that pink is the international breast cancer color. You can’t hate on her, even if she’s aging like Ashlee, because she’s doing good for the people. Everyone’s got someone in their life affected by this shitty disease so go and make a donation. I know you are used to being useless and laughed at, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a good person!

DONATE MONEY (I have never donated money so I don’t know if this is even where you are supposed to go, you’re on you own on this one baby)

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I love bitches who rock their webcam, especially when they are naked. But I make exceptions for the weird girls out there, who rock out to Aqua with stupid make-up on their faces while rubbin their tits and lip syncing. I would probably be happier seeing her suck off her boyfriend, but you know, I can’t only post nudity up on this shit. It will tarnish my reputation of being the classiest blogger out there, and I am not comfortable ruining my image just to make you perverts happy. If you are so inclined to hunt down naked girls on webcam, I am sure there are pay sites for you, let’s face it, you don’t need the money you make as a Walgreens stockboy, you will be living with your mom for many years to come. After you swallow those cold hard facts, feel free to watch this video, because it is hysterical…if you don’t hate yourself too much to laugh…..

Via Otty Baby (the only man who loves me)

Watch Video Here

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So Ashlee Simpson is 21, and it is only downhill from here. Bitch is already aging horribly and has a face that looks like she was hit by a bus as a child. I say this only because I know a girl who was hit by a bus as a child, and all the plastic surgery her welfare parent could afford left her looking mangled and shit. The good thing about an aging is that her vagina loosens up a little, not that that will help you, I know little penis like little holes to fuck, but little hole or not, dude, you aint ever getting pussy, even if you’re date raping…no drug out there is strong enough to let a girl loose herself and let you in her country. The other thing with aging is that it’s a litmus test, we know that at 17, Ashlee could pull off being fuckable, but as her face grows into itself, bitch gets uglier and uglier by the minute. Who am I kidding, all girls are fuckable, it just take the right amount of booze and meth…..it’s all downhill for you now girl…that’s the point of this post. Did you like it?

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I have memories of going to the zoo as a little boy, being amazed by the size of the elephant’s cock, an the amount of shit a monkey can throw at the people gawking at him. Motherfucker just wanted some privacy. In reality, I never went to a zoo as a kid, I lived in Mexico, and our backyard was a lot like a zoo with stray dogs and our troop of donkies, but I did work at a zoo for a little while, when you get out of prison, they usually throw you into some job that usually involves picking up shit. When I worked at the zoo I wasn’t lucky enough to see some random slut running around flashing her cooter. If I had, I’d probably still be there today, waiting for the next pussy to expose itself. Either way, girls who flash in public are fucking cool, and should be a lesson to the 2 girls who read this site. Guys like it better when you are loose and expose your junk…it’s instant respect and doesn’t make you a slut…..keep that in mind next time you’re visiting a public place designed for children, you pervert.

Check out the pics via Attu

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So being from the south, there’s really only one thing Britney can do, and that is support the crisis that is hitting close to home. Being from the south, there’s really only one way bitch knows how, and that’s to either take off her clothes, or get knocked up to raise money for a charity. Now, just because she was raised to be a trashy whore, doesn’t mean that fame, fortune and a Husband on welfare will stop her from selling her jewel encrusted bra on eBay. I don’t really know where I am going with this, but I do know that it’s totally cliche for a bra to be involved in shameless Spears self-promotion.

I belive that you should all donate to the Hurricane Survivors, if you have the means, and I figure why not get something you can jerk off to out of it. I know this may be the first and last bra some of you ever see, so you might as well spend your life-savings on one, so that you don’t ruin it the first day while shoving it up your ass.

No one is judging you, anal stimulation is highly excepted these days, and it doesn’t make you gay, even though I already think you are.

If anyone has pics of her in this bra, send them my way!

If you want more info,I came across this article, who am I kidding, I don’t read fucking articles, but Otty sent it to me and you can Read Article Here

If reading articles isn’t your thing, go check directly to ebay and Check out the Auction Here

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So being from the south, there’s really only one thing Britney can do, and that is support the crisis that is hitting close to home. Being from the south, there’s really only one way bitch knows how, and that’s to either take off her clothes, or get knocked up to raise money for a charity. Now, just because she was raised to be a trashy whore, doesn’t mean that fame, fortune and a Husband on welfare will stop her from selling her jewel encrusted bra on eBay. I don’t really know where I am going with this, but I do know that it’s totally cliche for a bra to be involved in shameless Spears self-promotion.

I belive that you should all donate to the Hurricane Survivors, if you have the means, and I figure why not get something you can jerk off to out of it. I know this may be the first and last bra some of you ever see, so you might as well spend your life-savings on one, so that you don’t ruin it the first day while shoving it up your ass.

No one is judging you, anal stimulation is highly excepted these days, and it doesn’t make you gay, even though I already think you are.

If anyone has pics of her in this bra, send them my way!

If you want more info,I came across this article, who am I kidding, I don’t read fucking articles, but Otty sent it to me and you can Read Article Here

If reading articles isn’t your thing, go check directly to ebay and Check out the Auction Here

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I have no idea who Katie Lohman is, but I generally have no idea who any of the people I post about are. I am completely out of the loop. What I do know though is that she’s doing some fundraising for the Katrina benefit, which on the surface seems like a good thing to do, but upon further investigation, it is obvious that it is a publicity stunt for whatever project she may be working on. I am sure she’s not involved in too many life changing projects, only because she’s got big tits, no self respect and girls like her are used in their prime because they are more than willing to show off their bodies, usually the only thing they have going for them. I don’t wanna come across as a bitter man, the reality is, I love girls with big tits and low self-esteem, without them, strip clubs would be pretty boring places. Amateur night would include people like me practicing our pole dances, and although that may get some of you hot and bothered, the reality is it’s not all that hot.

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There’s a new sexually charged hipster magazine out there and it’s called Box, which is pretty appropriate, because everyone likes box, even your sister, and she’s not even a dyke. Either way this magazine has a lot of amateur polaroid style pics that remind me of an American Apparel ad campaign, and has an interview with some dude while getting drunk that reminds me of VICE. I am sure if they read this they’d be completely insulted. I am sure part of them wants to believe that they are totally original and that their magazine is some next level shit. Download it and go through it, there are only 32 pages, you can make up your own useless mind, but we can all agree on one thing, these fuckers should be begging me to write for them, not because I know what’s up, or because I am hip, but because you all love me, and it makes me feel a little awkward sometimes. When it comes down to it though, I understand why we all need a drunken mexican to look up for and that is why I am here for you.

Cuddles.

Download the Box-Mag Here via coolhunting

Email them to let them know how useless being hipster trash is Here

Remember that dressing a dude up in panties and taking a polaroid is NEVER next level.

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