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Celine Farach is the Instagram Of The Day

Sydney Sweeney Life Jacket Suffocated Tits of the Day

Delilah Belle Hamlin’s Bikini. Taking Over Canada of the Day

Michal Idan is the Instagram Of The Day

Old Lady Heidi Klum Tries and Delivers but is Still Boring of the Day

2021

Sep

Bella Hadid Bikini Tits of the Day

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I’ve been pretty consistent on calling Bella Hadid a butterface thanks to her hard features that always weirded me out like they were transgender or botched face injections since nothing we see is real and since it is normalized to surgery up all these girls into no longer being natural beautiful…

BUT today, I’ve decided she’s hot bodied, in this bikini, and her face looks less like a dude about to go bowling, and more like the instagram model she is…

So, there is a silver lining to every cloud, a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, and occasionally, an overhyped influencer that has packaged herself as a high fashion model, and is used to push product onto her fans that they can neither afford nor need, and brands like sales agents helping their bottom line, no matter what they look like….can live up to her hot body…and this is that time…

The only funny thing about it is the sexual pose like shit is a cheesy porno shoot…but it is the porn generation as much as it is the influencer generation and the two obviously overlap.

I am trying to say this is her best work…whether it’s an IG filter or not…so Ill just end it before going into why she has pantie s on under her bikini cuz my only assumption is to catch the drips…

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Posted in:Bella Hadid

2021

Sep

Halsey Bolt Ons of the Day

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I think Halsey recently had a kid, so her bolt on tits are currently full of milk, making them exceptionally larger than they were when she first bought them….and I guess when you breed, even when you’re a popstar, it is only natural for you to assume the role of wife who has been married 20 years, going to the mall for a boudoir shoot to keep her husband happy now that they’ve given up…you know since everything is moving faster and faster 20 year marriages have turned into 12 month relationships where 9 months of it was spent knocked the fuck up thanks to a good old fashioned creampie because it makes the relationship feel more romantic, more intimate, when everyone’s an oversexed freak…

Then again, I know nothing about Halsey and maybe her middle aged mom in her 40s boudoir shoot from the mall in the 90s…like that episode of Roseanne all those years ago…which forever traumatized me before realizing that ladies who looked like Roseanne were the key players in amateur internet porn for a solid 15 years before hot chicks realized they could be naked on the internet and it would only improve their lives taking away from those early adopters because people into amateur nudes were able to jerk off to hot chicks instead of 40 year old moms…

ANYWAY…Halsey the mom’s got big tits that she paid for some of, got cummed in for the rest of….and that’s all I have to say about that..

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Posted in:Halsey

2021

Sep

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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It’s Medical Worker Mondays…which is a day when I used to call medical workers disgusting for running a nude picture business out of their hospital jobs during a pandemic…when people were dying, they were exposing their vagina to all the viruses…but that was when society was calling them all medical heroes, frontline heroes, making parades for them…it was all very theatrical…and when I saw them using that hype to get dudes who felt guilty they weren’t doing their part to support those who were doing their part…in some sick cash grab….I thought the worst of them…but still liked that they were naked…

In recent months, at least around here, the medical workers, around 20,000 of them, are being laid off or fired after years of service because they aren’t getting the shots mandated by the government or their bosses….

So now, I realize they were just being smart to line up a future career when the same people who called them heroes turned their back on them for not following their lead or doing what they were told to do with their own bodies….even though, with the fat enough tip, you can probably tell them all kinds of things they can do with their own bodies to make your user experience as their customer a better one.

Hospitals gross me out, people who work in hospitals probably get grossed out by hospitals, just not enough to rub their vaginas and assholes on the floors…so maybe life as a nude content creator on the internet will be more fulfilling than saving or helping save lives…you know because it makes for a better contribution to society now that we all live behind screens….until you need to go to the hospital and find no one working cuz they’re all spreading their asses for money instead….but who cares about any of that when we’ve got nudes…especially knee deep in a pandemic!

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Posted in:NURSES

2021

Sep

Jordyn Jones Thong of the Day

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Jordyn Jones is a child reality star from a child dance reality show which is weird as shit and every time I write out that she was on a child dancing show I get creeped the fuck out. Who is watching that shit? Let’s hope little old ladies who either never had kids and always wanted kids, therefore they have a love for seeing kids in action….or little old ladies who have had kids and remember their kids being the best times of their lives…you see people like that in the park overly excited by children but not in a creepy way, but in a sad, they are almost dead and reflecting on their life way…

Point being, she’s all grown up now, and posts pics of her pulling her pants down on social media, you know because dance reality shows at any age aren’t really a lucrative career, sure you can do the influencer work, but when you peak at 10…and the market is pretty saturated with other influencers and reality stars from actual reality shows people watched…your options remain “SELL NUDES”…which can also be lucrative, but seems to also be reducing themselves to the objectified, sexual object, they all protest and claim they don’t want to be…but who am I to complain…NOT the moral police here….just keep up the momentum with the nudes since we can never have enough shamelessness in a given day when said shamelessness isn’t fat chicks being shameless because they’ve been brainwashed to think they are like hot chicks, equality, or inclusivity, or too many affirmations that they don’t realize the nudie game should be reserved for the hotties trying to get paid…it doesn’t need to be FOR EVERYONE..

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2021

Sep

Miley Cyrus Ass of the Day

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I just did a Noah Cyrus post and it would be unfair to Miley if I didn’t outshine Noah’s under titty, nipple covered with an emoji, in what look like a huge pair of skimpy panties pulled up to her neck….because Miley’s the real star of the family and as much as the sister tries her best, Miley’s out there helping her promote and do her thing, more out of sympathy than out of thinking there will ever be a time that Noah outshines her…and if there was, Miley would probably be happy about it, because she’s already made so much stupid money and the whole celebrity thing seems exhausting….so she could pass off the torch…maybe Miley encouraging Noah is just to take some of the pressure off Miley, so taht she can go back to the simple things like masturbating on her money all day.

ANYWAY, Miley is a revolutionary, if you consider the trendwatchers at Disney turning her into a TUMBLR girl, which is where the nudes used to be posted up, revolutionary. I do…because I know once Miley did it, droves of women around her age hopped onto the “SHOW MY CUNT ON THE INTERNET” because the whole future self thing disappeared….since getting naked on the internet is thrilling…or must be thrilling for the girls involved and the pervs like me jacking off to it.

The point is, Miley’s on stage, pulling her skirt up, showing her ass in thigh highs, and this kind of thing is what I’d want to smother me until cardiac arrest…you know if we’re all going to die from our lungs being blown out…my make a wish foundation request is that my lungs get blown out by Miley’s ass…DISNEY ARE YOU LISTENING…let’s make my final moments the true happiest place on earth….just make sure you don’t swap Miley out for a Drag Queen Miley Impersonator…cuz that will ruin my suffocating on her ass vision and turn it all into a very gay, testicle filled, nightmare…I probably deserve…

Let’s hope no one is dying here, but if you were to die, do it to Miley’s ass, it’s great.

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Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2021

Sep

Noah Cyrus Tit of the Day

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Noah Cyrus has got some titty out because it’s not a selfie unless you’re in your underwear that is pulled up to your shoulders with your t-shirt hanging off your nipples like they are a convenient shirt shelf so you don’t need to buy any pins or tape from Amazon, because you come stock with t-shirt holders so that you can have part of your tit shown off in a panty selfie…

Noah Cyrus is Miley’s arguably less hot sister, but some people find Miley to be ugly, so they probably prefer this look….I don’t know…to each their fucking own…

I like to think she’s probably more interesting than Miley because she is not Miley Cyrus and if she wanted to break free from her sister’s shadow, she’d have to do it as her own damn person, but the reality is, she could be the worst version of Miley, younger, lazier, coddled, thanks to her parents and everyone around her giving her added attention so that she didn’t kill herself when realizing that she’d never be Miley…assuming these celebrities even realize they are celebrities…because their lives are always being watched….

Since I have no backstory on Noah, her tits, the nude selfie, we’ll just focus on the selfie and not the emotional trauma that one would endure being Miley’s sister….not that being the sibling to the rich would be a bad thing…you’d get all the perks of celebrity without having to waste your time being a celebrity which I guess wasn’t enough for Noah as she tries to do the celebrity thing she’s doing…which I assume the panty selfie is a strategic part of….

Keep it coming so we can.

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Posted in:noah cyrus

2021

Sep

Milf Monday of the Day

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Are MILFs going to be a thing of the past…with technology, test tube babies, surrogates…possibly…I mean it will give them more time for fun, to fuck randoms, and to live their proper self involved life…

I don’t know if the modern woman is really into the whole traditional marriage thing, because I don’t talk to or know the modern woman, and from where I am sitting, it’s the generation before the current generation, you know the 40 year olds, who are all blown out from choosing career over family like they were Jen Aniston..thanks to growing up and idolizing the Sex and the City people…why sacrifice career and money to buy designer shit whether a legit career or just sugar baby shit…to be covered in puke middle of the road mom….just because being a mom is more fulfilling than the vapid and materialistic existence and the empty and unfulfilling corporate life people use to prove themselves..

Are MILFs going to be exinct…like the Wooly Mammoth they’re trying to clone, or have cloned….to reintegrate into our inclusive world….WOOLY MAMMOTH, you may not have survived as a species, but we’re here giving you a second chance because no one watched Jurassic Park…

I don’t think MILFs are really going anywhere, young people are having kids because it’s a loved accessory for social media…influencers, celebs, all having kids…so unless something makes the world sterile…from pollution, hormones in the foods, or just an overall hopelessness of the future you couldn’t bring yourself to bring kids into the world….we’ve got MILFs now, we’ve got them here today, and none look overly banged out, because I am old and into the GILF age range…sometimes the GGILF age…where MILFs are like a fruitful treat cuz they aren’t menopausal yet.

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Posted in:Milf

2021

Sep

Tinashe Titty Flash of the Day

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I get pretty confused about who Tinashe is because I just can’t keep track of all the young popstars doing that whole popstar thing….there are too many of them, I am old, and rarely do any really stand out as being that exciting, which could be because society has lowered their standards and do celebrity differently now that everyone is trying to be famous, or maybe I am just out of the loop I was never actually in, I don’t have the answers…so I google them.

She is signed to Roc Nation. She has been on some hit songs. She is from Kentucky. She is part Zimbabwe, other part Dutch/Norwegian/Irish. Her name means “GOD IS WITH US” and from my other google searches, he is.

She was in a girl group put together by VITAMIN C….remember her…Graduation Song…and they had a reality show about their band then she went independent and here she is with her tit out…which I think is her best work….but that I’ll guess she doesn’t think is her best work, I mean she’s been on TV and making music for a decade….and no one likes to be reduced to a tit….

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Posted in:Tinashe

2021

Sep

Suki Waterhouse Got Them Tits On of the Day

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I’ve made fun of Suki Waterhouse in the past because that’s pretty much what I do…just a miserable fucking loser who tries to drag hot chicks who are just out here in skimpy fucking outfits trying to give boners as they elevate their own careers. How dare I.

Things I’ve made fun of Suki Waterhouse for include being replaced as Brad Cooper’s girlfriend with the much hotter and more substantial Irina Shaik, I mean…that’s not really making fun of her, Irina Shaik is in another league of woman and Brad Cooper as a rich A-Lister deserves the best he can get.

I’ve also made fun of Suki Waterhouse for being some scenester rich kid who somehow tricked people into letting her model. I think she was part of the Cara Delevingne rich kid turned model movement in the UK, which was a reminder that you don’t have to be the hottest…

That’s not to say that I don’t think rich kids deserve all the fame and glory they get, I am a firm believer in nepotism and keeping generational wealth within the family. If you’re born into a rich as shit family, that’s the genetic lottery you’ve won….

It’s just to say that Irina Shaik in her cold water flat in the middle of Siberia where she didn’t see a TV until her 16th birthday, is just more impressive that she’s made it where she’s made it all because she’s just that fucking hot…

I don’t think Suki would have made it out of a high end department store if she didn’t have the family’s private banking card to get her there…

In conclusion, her boyfriend is Robert Pattinson since 2018, not quite Brad Cooper but same strategy to become a legitimate actress, since her model thing was pretty lackluster.

Have you seen any Suki Waterhouse movies? She’s been in a lot of shit that I’ve never seen but she’s trying and that’s more than most rich kids can say for themselves as they charge daddy’s account at the country club for their cobb salad….

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Posted in:Suki Waterhouse

2021

Sep

Milky Boobs Monday of the Day

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I guess the highlight of pregnancy, which I don’t think really has that many upsides, is the whole tit thing…

I wouldn’t call myself a milky tit fetishists, since the milky tits mean new enough mom, even if milky tits are delicious and nutritious, not that I’ve ever sucked on one, my mom was repulsed by me as a child and that’s a trend that’s been pretty consistent with most women…

I would however call myself a titty fetishists and figure that if the milky tits are enough of a hook, or reason to get a lady to pull out her tit, I’ll support her in that…

Since I am a believer that childbirth is not the wonderful miracle of narcissism to keep our species around but rather a hug sacrifice made by women who don’t necessarily know better and who think they’ll find a higher purpose in using their natural given baby making machinery to do what it is supposed to do…

Since I know that childbirth leads to the destruction of some of that machinery, like the vagina itself…I figure giving their titties some shine like the husband who is excited by the new tits cuz that’s the only benefit of childbirth…is the least I can do for a better tomorrow…since moms are an important part of society and without them…all babies would be made in a lab and that’d be weird.

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Posted in:Lactating