I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2021

05

Jul

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

Is today the day to shame medical workers who have been marketed as heroes for launching some sideline business where they sell their nudes online because they know that the general public drink the Kool Aid and buy into the whole frontline workers being heroes thing….you know guilt them in and take their money….

I don’t subscribe to people doing their job being heroes, because that’s their fucking job, plus with all the lies around COVID that have been exposed, you have to wonder what even happened in hospitals…

I didn’t see people dying on the streets like you’d expect in a pandemic, I didn’t even see line-ups at the funeral homes, or thicker obituaries in the newspaper…which as the data I read would suggest there wasn’t any more deaths than usual, the FLU was cured or rebranded, and that the majority of people who died of covid were fat fucks who didn’t respect themselves enough too be healthy, or old as shit….

I also know nurses who said it was the slowest year of their lives, since all other medical procedures were cancelled and ER visits were limited to those who did’t fear the virus or had no choice but to go to the ER..But sure, heroes, you should feel sorry for and throw your money at….or jerk off to their nudes at the job where they should be saving lives, but are instead showing their shaved cunts…

I am not against opportunists or nudity, but I don’t trust the opinion of people who PROFIT off the COVID…but I’ll still stare at their titties!


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Posted in:NURSES

2021

05

Jul

Iris Apatow Gets Gay of the Day

Judd Apatow is the comedy nerd who mooched off comedians in order to create a massively successful production company that made all the bro comedies of the 2000s and 2010s….with perverts like Seth Rogan and James Franco…amongst others…and I am sure I didn’t hate every single one of those movies, like I’ve hated Seth Rogan’s laugh…

I just hated Judd Apatow’s stant up….because I saw Judd Apatow at a comedy festival where one of his jokes was about his daughter’s vagina…this was probably 14 years ago….and it was likely about Iris Apatow…pull up the archive footage…you’ll see how weird it was….I know that despite being inappropriate and loving the troll…you know the feeling of making people feel uncomfortable…I found it awkward and weird as shit….and I can joke about basically anything that would make people feel uncomfortable….because I am not a pussy…

So to Judd I say…LOOK AT THAT PUSSY YOU MADE NOW…you sicko…

She’s an actress, potentially gay because the porn algorithm has made girls love fucking girls, because getting off to lesbian porn, which has historically been the more accessible porn for women, has confused girls into thinking they are lesbians, when the girls in the lesbian porn aren’t even lesbians….silly..it’s movie magic…

The point of the story is that based on Judd, I’d assume she’d be uglier, not that it would get in the way of her making it in America as a rich and connected raised in Hollywood girl…but in a way that’s a pleasant surprise…while staring at her seuxalized self produced content…



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Posted in:Iris Apatow

2021

05

Jul

January Jones Fourth of July Ass of the Day

January Jones is a nice reminder that big titty old ladies who made it thanks to their titties don’t die….because in her mid 40s, she still bringing the sexual content that for whatever reason is more ass than titties…confusing me…only because I don’t think now is the time to switch things up, maybe stick to what you’re good at…having tits…integrating other body parts is just confusing to those of us who didn’t watch Mad Men so we don’t know who the fuck you are….other than tits…that are single mom tits…because she never revealed Jason Sudeikis to be her deadbeat dad and there is a possibility he isn’t the deadbeat dad…I am sure there’s plenty of options of who could be…including Weinstein, Cosby, and the cast of Hamilton….LIN MANUEL we’re onto you.

The point is, it was Fourth of July in an era of half the population hating America, half the population trying to hold onto American freedoms and values, but ultimately, Americans as a whole still know they are in the most important country in the world, so there should be more people posing with flags like this, instead of turning their back on the flag…

While I’m a firm believer that we’re all in a conservatorship with the Government and the concept of freedom is just a marketing hook….I can still appreciate good old fashioned American Flag pride….even with old mom booty in it cuz mom booty is still booty according to my research…it’s just not as hot as hotter and younger booty….but it can be as fun because it’s on its last legs and you know when on your deathbed or your sex appeal’s death bed, you try harder.

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Posted in:January Jones

2021

05

Jul

Jordyn Jones Bikini of the Day

I just got off posting JULIANNE HOUGH NIPPLE IN A BIKINI where I concluded that girls who dance are girls who fuck….and if you’ve ever fucked a professionally trained dancer, or even an amateur dancer you picked up at a rave while she was high on mind altering drugs and confused you for the DJ….or even a stripper who may not know how to dance but has the confidence to get on stage and spread her ass against a pole other girls spread their asses against…you’ll know…their athleticism, connection to their body, their rhythm and in my case…their lack of teeth….prove to be a magical sexual experience even for those of us with small penis.

The correlation of fuck to dance ability is real….

So Jordyn Jones’ parents, who we’ll assume are multi-generational inbred from Michigan….white trash, blue collar, farm hand alcoholics who knew their baby girl needded some life skills to get by and they put her in the local dance class at the church basement while they were upstairs at their AA meetings or collecting bread at the food drive…it was Christmas afer all..

I am sure they had no plan to have her hit REALITY TV at a young age and cash in like she did, it was likely more for a stripping local, give her the tools and competitive advantage needed…

Yet here she is selling access to bikini pics for a lot more than she’d make giving lab dances and that’s how to make it in America…it starts with Dance…just ask every TikTok Millionaire…



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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2021

05

Jul

Julianne Hough Upside Down in a Bikini of the Day

Julianne Hough is showing off her Mormon Gone Wild sexual prowess that she may have always had thanks to being sexualized by creeper dance instructors who were training her and her brother in dance that we can assume ended up the horizontal and naked kind, because how else would they establish that bond needed to really understand each other on a level to know each other’s next move on the floor or stage, sometimes genetic connection isn’t enough and multi-generational incest has been going on for a long fucking time….

I mean I don’t know if that actually happened, but I don’t mind pretending it did, just like I don’t know if she did tons of blow with Ryan Seacrest before hours of anal sex, not too sure if she was the top or bottom with that guy, because there was a time when she was dating him and I have known more than one girl who has fucked Seacrest and even signed NDAs with him, only to tell me the stories…that I comedically summarizing here for you because they’re probably bullshit stories…I mean he is America’s Sweetheart….

I do know that Hough, as a dancer, is showing off some naughty dance moves in a skimpy bikini, the kind of outfit the Mormon church she escaped for fame and fortune would probably frown upon before inviting it into their office for “punishment” with her sister wives…

I also know, you can see part of her nipple, making the bikini dance show better…

I’m not a Julianne Hough Fan, what do I look like Taylor Swift….weren’t they friends at one point? Who knows…not me…WORST CELEB BLOGGER…just the longest standing one I guess..

I’m here for the tits anyway and she’s bringing them….

In conclusion, dancers can fuck.


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Posted in:Julianne Hough

2021

05

Jul

Milf Monday of the Day

I remember when MILFs went mainstream with Stifler’s mom and it became a thing…I don’t know if MILFs were really marketed as MILFs before American Pie in 1999, but I used to see people buy old lady porn mags and not for jokes around that time, you know when I was buying old lady porn mags…just me and some stranger awkwardly fighting over the one issue of “60 plus”…that’s maybe a little too old, but they had “40 plus” also..it was the magazine era when you could have a different magazine for every niche…a better time….

This past weekend I was thinking what’s next for DrunkenStepfather and I came to the conclusion that I should turn DrunkenStepfather into a print magazine, because print is dead and so is the blog forma apparently, and print is just a more substantial medium where people who buy it, are reading it, rather than flimsy blog format no one bothers with….you know….not that this has to do with MILFs…

Jennifer Coolidge (Stifler’s mom) was 38 when American Pie came out, but unlike the 38 year olds of today, she looked like a fucking mom with monster tits…and despite being more into Shannon Elizabeth, I could see how some motherless dude, or dude with mom issues, would be drawn to a MILF, you know her sexual experience proven by the kid that she brought to term and kept alive all these years…you know the kind of woman who can do your laundry, make you dinner, and fuck you like she’s never been fucked before…because of all that pent up sexual energy from being a mom who doesn’t fuck all those years…coupled with her hormones skewing toward menopause…with more testosterone that makes them perfect matches for horny 20 year olds…

Anyway, 38 doesn’t seem so old anymore, and most of these MILFs are probably still in their 20s, and not giving up on being sexual beings like moms of the past did….

So these MILFS aren’t traditional MILFs, but they are self proclaimed MILFs looking to be jacked off to.

Don’t let them down…MOM’s ORDERS!

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Posted in:Milf

2021

05

Jul

McKayla Maroney Bikini of the Day

I don’t know if McKayla Maroney always had that instagram face, or if it’s just the look of a generation trying to emulate the Kardashians, because they’ve been sold a bag of shit and were told it was gold, they just haven’t realized it yet….because following ugly girls who try to make themselves hot through surgery, has unfortunately taken hot chicks and turned them into ugly girls trying to look like hot girls…

There’s nothing wrong with your natural face bitches….

But since I don’t know if Maroney modified her look or not, it’d be wrong to cyberbully her for it, especially when she’s out here sexualizing herself by showing off that muscle memory of being an OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST GYMNAST….now retired and of age….making it ok to jerk off to her….unlike when people were doing that when she won her gold and went viral as a meme…

When appreciating her bikini weekend, you must remember, just how good and flexible you gotta be to make it onto the USA Olympic team….which may have a lot of creepy people tainting its legacy as anything that caters to underage girls will attract the fucking weirdos who enable each other to get the most out of the experience….at the expense of these kids all thanks to their parents drinking that Olympic dream Koolaid…but despite the mud on the face of the team…and the fact that most top tier gymnasts look like stunted midget body builders…a hot one like McKayla brings hope or at least bikini pics worth looking at….which could be the same thing…

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Posted in:McKayla Maroney

2021

05

Jul

Miley Cyrus Titty of the Day

The most interesting thing about the Britney Spears conservatorship conversation with the Judge that went viral last week or two weeks ago, was that she said a very important thing about MILEY CYRUS…which I interpreted as Miley could walk out on stage totally naked, with a butt plug tail in, masturbating and pissing all over herself, as girls of the internet do to prove they came, smoking a blunt, while on prescription pills and no one would give a fuck….while Britney did shit that was barely scratching the surface of crazy, at least not publicly, other than shaving her head….which could be seen as intense, or a little crazy…life if you had a fight with your girlfriend over some other girl you’re fucking and in her meltdown she shaves her head…you’d be pretty uncomfortable…but hardly something worth being imprisoned for…

ANYWAY….

It’s not really that Miley can get away with murder, it’s that when she hopped into the mainstream, they were already directing it in this direction of degenerate…

It’s been hot, but has it been good for society, who fucking cares…Miley is hot, on stage, with her tits out…that’s what matters…INSTANT gratification…



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Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2021

05

Jul

Rowan Blanchard Ass of the Day

Rowan Blanchard Booty

Rowan Blanchard is the weird looking girl they cased to play the weird looking girl Topanga from Boy Meets World’s daughter for their new iteration of their show that I forgot even happened since I don’t have the Disney Channel and always questioned grown men who did…

She’s currently on one of the dumbest netflix shows about a perpetual train running around the world in a post apocalyptic world, keeping the last of the humans alive….while producing content that may make you and your friends want to run train on her…because despite so much pussy being out there, the only pussy you get is with your boys looking for extra dicks to live out their porn fantasies and the talent you guys are recruiting isn’t top notch Disney Kid….so it makes sense…even if it is a little queer…

By “it” I don’t mean Rowan Blanchard, even though she’s a new generation young person being sleazy on the internet but still getting work, who identifies as queer, because who doesn’t….

It’s like “Let’s all rape a pillage the LGBTQ” movement and make it about us cuz we jack off to lesbian porn….

Weird world….but skimpy bikinis even on weird girls who probably are just weird looking and not that weird since everything is collectively weird, but each individual is basically the same idiot….DRONES!

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Posted in:Rowan Blanchard

2021

05

Jul

Milky Boobs Monday of the Day

Here’s some weekly tits lactating to celebrate the natural function of tits, so that when you’re sexualizing the tit, since we are CODED to be titty obsessed in the fucking womb, since tits save our fucking lives and feed us in our earliest part of life, or at least are supposed to, so whether we were breast fed by our moms or not, since some moms are assholes not qualified to be moms, that doesn’t change our instinct to reach for the tit and try to latch the fuck on…

Tits are a passion we carry into adulthood that for whatever reason the feminists try to ignore or marginalize our titty love and they get mad at the use of tits in the media while at the same time being mad at FB /IG because they can’t post their breast feeding pics to social media….because breast feeding is natural, nothing to be ashamed of, and is apparently not a sexual thing…

THEN WHY AM I JERKING OFF TO IT?!

AND…why are you trying to seduce us with your milk filled tits, using the milk as a selling point, a little “I am more than just tits, I am also food”….weird.

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Posted in:Lactating