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Archive for the Ass Category

2008

03

Apr

Mena Suvari In a Thong Bikini Showing Off Her Ass of the Day

4 Comments »

Lesbian haircut Mena Suvari doesn’t seem to be a lesbian anymore, at least that’s what she wants us to believe by over compensating with some dude on the beach by being all touchy feel with her public displays of affection. I would say rent a room but I never do that because I am more into watching like the creep that I am.

I don’t know how they do things on whatever planet she’s from, but I am hoping the next set of pictures have her on her knees with homies dick in her mouth, but I still have a feeling she doesn’t roll like that and by that I mean with penis, since dude looks like he’s putting on some shitty performance while she’s not having that and is just going along with it to get the girls she’s attracted to go back to her room with her. I think this pretty boy is just some kind of bait to get pussy in her mouth but then again I could be wrong, I was never a huge fan of fishing.


She was in a thong on the beach the other day also – you can see it here
GO

Posted in:Ass|Mena Suvari|Thong

2008

02

Apr

Gisele Bundchen Does Assless Pants of the Day

6 Comments »

Looks like Gisele is working the next big Gay Pride Parade and these are pictures from the photoshoot to promote the big day. I always found her hard face a little manly, but had no idea that she was a lady boy from Brazil, despite being far too familiar with Brazilian lady boys but that’s a story I am planning on taking with me to the grave. I guess it’s good to see her breaking out of her shell and letting us all know about her alternative lifestyle by throwing on a pair of her friend who died of AIDS last year’s favorite pair of pants….living a lie is always a huge weight on your shoulders that often times needs to be broken down, despite how embarrassing it is for you and your family. I’m talking to you closet case.

Either way, if Gisele is your thing, here’s her ass in a pair of Gay Village special assless jeans that always throw me the fuck off when they walk by me on a big muscular dude in a leather vest, but may make you a little uncomfortable when you cum all over your lucky pair of underwear…weirdo.

Posted in:Ass|Assless|Gisele Bundchen|Pants

2008

31

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Some Booty of the Day

5 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Lohan isn’t my internet girlfriend anymore, I’ve moved on from her like everyone else has. I just don’t find her worth harassing anymore and she hasn’t really been that responsive to my emails, phone calls or myspace messages and she’s not very hot. I thought she would be my meal ticket, but I just can’t have this one-way relationship anymore and I have given up.

Last week I reached out to her Lesbian cock on Facebook and she never responded to me so in memory of a Lohan that was once worth fuckin and who was once going to be the girl who makes me relevant, here are some pictures of her from the side in a pair of tight pants that show off her booty. Since I am a fan of booty and tight pants pants are the reason I leave my house and hang out at college campuses like I am the dirty professor until security escorts me out for propositioning random girls to pose naked for me in my art class I don’t actually teach, here’s Lohan’s ass doing good things proving that sometimes weight gain is a good thing since Lohan never had a good ass, the problem with weight gain is that it never stops when the tits and ass are full, and it’s never too long before the stomach and rest of her follows their lead.

See the Images Here
GO

Posted in:Ass|Booty|Lindsay Lohan

2008

26

Mar

Kim Kardashian Better Be Pregnant of the Day

12 Comments »

Kim Kardashian is one of those girls who needs to wear heels because otherwise her legs look think and stumpy like some kind of midget olympic speed skater or some shit, only she’s not nearly as athletic and her thickness comes from lazy overeating because the only weightlifting she does is carrying her fat tits and ass out to do errands and by errands I mean hosting parties at lame overpriced clubs.

There’s a rumor going around that she’s pregnant, and I think that would be a great explanation for her maternity shirt covering her fat but reality is that she’s been this big for as long as I remember her so maybe the secret to her fat tits is to get knocked up and to hold onto the baby for as long as she can, aborting it at the last possible moment and doing it all again…

I guess the good news is that she likes to go out an do errands for herself like buying light bulbs and getting pedicures but she’s a media craving whore and it’s safe to say this is all for a photo op because she’s addicted to flashing lights. I guess that’s what happens when you’re the fat, unibrow, horsehead girl no one wanted to talk to growing up and slowly found a way out of insecurity by doing porn hoping that one day everyone will love you or some shit so that she could go back to the people who teased her and say “look at me now” or some shit.

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Pregnancy Rumor

2008

25

Mar

Simona Fusco Stratten in a Bikini of the Day

2 Comments »

Her name is Simona Fusco Stratten and these are some pictures of her in a bikini that hit the other day, I am slow on posting this shit but figure you like lookin’ at girls in bikinis because your life probably lacks that so I am doing them anyway. I think lookin at her pretty hot body is a lot better than the girls I get stuck lookin’ at every time I hit the beach I go with high fuckin’ hopes, like that maybe there will be some young girls tanning topless and playing volleyball or tanning with their hot bodies, but it always seems to end up being a beach for the elderly women who aren’t scared of skin cancer.

You know in one piece bathing suits that instead of drawing attention to their tits, draw attention to their huge stomachs that if lucky enough leave a gap big enough for you to see some old lady vagina because of the stomach overhang, because let’s face it, there’s not always enough fabric to cover a fat bitch up proper. The good news is that at least you get to see some box and they don’t really mind because they like the male attention, it reminds them of their younger years and feel like they still have sex appeal and take that home to their husbands that night with a nostalgic blowjob….

Either way, here’s Simona Fusco Stratten.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Simona Fusco Stratten|Tits

2008

25

Mar

Emma B in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »


Her name is Emma Balfour and I don’t know what she does. I feel like posting some pictures of girls in bikinis because I got nothing better to do todayand I figure all you virgins who email me telling me you use my site to jerk off, which by the way makes me feel uncomfortable, are lookin’ for something worth jerkin off to.

I know that I wouldn’t be getting off to this shit if my dick worked but that’s just because she looks like this drag queen I once did shots with at a club, you know long skinny legs from being a marathon runner on his spare time when he wasn’t wearing panties and retarded fake tits that look like bowling balls on a mini ass.

My theory is if you get off to this bitch, you pretty much are gay but I’m just basing it all on the balls she’s got stuffed in that bikini bottom, who knows maybe she just has a low hanging vagina.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Emma B

2008

25

Mar

Coco Poses With Her Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Nothing says you’ve made it as a Gangster Rapper turned actor like having the trashiest stripper lookin’ bitch with the fakest tits as your wife. It’s like there’s no way he could have pulled off dating a useless Coco type by just being a local drug dealer. He’s gone above an beyond that by becoming a millionaire but is still running after the same garbage pussy he would be if he never left the ghetto, maybe he’s just likes rockin’ the power position because he knows her fat tits can’t leave him since he’s given her a taste of the high life but it’s probably because he bought her off the black market when she was 14 and kept her in the basement cultivating her into what she is today with dance lessons and plastic surgeries like some kind of Frankenstein shit.

I guess there is such thing of an over achieving slut and the reality is that I am posting on her and not on my favorite slut Amber from down the street who always lets me stick a finger in her while gettin’ a private dance for an extra 5 dollars, even though I keep trying to explain to her that she should be the one paying me because in case you didn’t know, I got some magic fingers.

Posted in:Ass|Coco|Tits

2008

25

Mar

Cameron Diaz Buys Flowers of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Cameron Diaz buying some flowers for herself because nobody loves her. I don’t actually know whether she’s got some cock or not right now, but I like it better when she doesn’t because I can laugh at her lonely middle aged self for being dumped by a young Justin Timberlake right when he was peaking with his last album. Unfortunately, she’s pretty hot and has a lot of money and that makes her better than anything I’ve ever fucked so here’s some pics of her not buying you flowers which is something you’re used to because your mom doesn’t even buy you presents for your birthday because she’s blocked your phone number even though you live in the basement, because she hate being reminded of how much of a loser you are…

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|Flowers

2008

21

Mar

Kim Kadashian’s got a Fat Ass of the Day

19 Comments »

The Friday Guessing game of the day is what size jeans Kim Kardashian wears. I am going with a size 32, which may not sound too big if you’re a dude and buying a new pair of Dockers for the company picnic, but women are a size 27 on average, proving my point that she’s fat, by not proving anything because I have no idea what her actual size is, I am just speculating because this girl has a fat ass and needs to stop being the useless lazy whore I saw in her sex tape and start being a little more active, since obesity is the number one killer today and if the rest of her body follow her asses lead, she’s in for a mess, I’m just trying to save her. I’m a hero like that.

Just the other day I saw a girl frantically searching for a tampon because she didn’t have one and we weren’t near any stores and she had no money on her even if there were stores near by. So, I offered her my penis, mouth and fingers to help her out, sure they aren’t absorbent, but I figure if you’re going to stick anything in your vagina it might as well be me. She ended up agreeing to taking my dirty sock, because I guess she thought it was better than nothing. In the next 4-6 weeks, she’ll realize that it definitely was the wrong choice because lets face it, I am not the most hygienic and even my feet try to keep me from wearing socks with all the scabs, blisters and rashes and god only knows if any of those are contagious…..

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

21

Mar

Vanessa Hudgens’ Ass Crack at the Airport of the Day

5 Comments »

The good news for you guys is that Vanessa Hudgens dates fags and since you’re pretty much as big a fag as they come, that should give you hope, because I know that you still like girls deep down inside, they are just so much less willing to have sex with you than a barebackin’ bear in the bathouse who pretty much has no standards and a raging boner.

Either way, this is her ass crack at the airport and I am not sure where she’s going, but I wish I did so that I could let you know so that you can go hang outside her hotel room and make her sing your dick just because he’s a huge fan of her work and High School Musical changed your life by making you want to go back to High School but only if you could do it in song.

I don’t know why I am posting these since seeing ass crack makes me think of fat men in jeans that are a couple sizes too small but haven’t accepted that they are fat fucks yet and insist on wearing them and not of the gateway to a young, willing 18 year old nude model/actress/singer triple threat in no panties because just a few inches away is her box. But that’s just because I don’t find Hudgens anything special, she looks like a monkey and I’d still let her throw feces at me from her cage while I jerk off, but that’s pretty much it. I may not have standards but I don’t do beastiality….

Posted in:Ass|Crack|Vanessa Hudgens