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Archive for the Ass Category

2008

28

Feb

Rihanna Knows How to Put on a Concert People Everywhere Can Appreciate of the Day

Rihanna seems to know how to put on a performance that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a fetish night party at a bar I used to frequent. I wasn’t too thrown off by all the nasty lookin’ people in their latex assless pants being dragged around on leashes, until I realized that it was a gay party and that the only girl in the place who had amazingly huge tits, and who I just let suck me off was actually I tranny packin heat. I didn’t mind too much, she was wearing lipstick and that’s all I really look for in a woman and she gave a really good blow job too, I guess she was just overcompensating for not having a vagina….

Speakin’ of suckin dick to overcompensate, we saw that Rihanna sucked a singing – proving she sucked dick to get to the top and is still suckin’ dick with some popstar dancing kid named Chris Brown , who has more money and vagina than you ever will and he’s only 18, so it’s only natural that she takes that attitude of overcompensating to the stage and since she can’t suck our dicks, she dresses sluttier than any other performer and that makes her the highest paid stripper who doesn’t get naked out there and these are the pics of her in Ireland last night.

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
GO

Posted in:Ass|Cameltoe|Concert|Dominatrix|Rihanna|Tits

2008

27

Feb

Lily Allen Upskirt Fat Ass of the Day

Abortions….really suck the life out of you, or was it a miscarriage. Whatever it was, it left her uncaring ass exposed. I guess her lady parts are as numb as her heart after losing what was to be her very own miracle, no I am not talking about the fact that such a hag could get laid in the first place, I’m talking the miracle of life from getting fucked from behind in a tour bus. It was the kind of mess she was probably used too, because men will fuck anything willing, and thought it would just drip down her leg, so she could just forget about it like all those other times, but instead some of it stuck and got her into this sad mess.

All I can say is thank god for pantyhose, otherwise we’d be forced to see the mangled mess that her weight problem has done to her thighs….not to mention what her underwear is going through. I am sure it smells like death up in that shithole and it looks like her eating disorder is so out of hand that even her asshole has an appetite and it’s eating her fuckin’ underwear like Lily at that Extra Large Pizza last night while she cried.

I guess she should have listened to her ass’s appetite, because if she did, she could have completely avoided the whole pregnancy shit and would have just had a little limp in her step instead of fetus in her toilet.

Our hearts go out to her…


Related Posts:

Lily Allen is Not Shopping for Baby Clothes
Lily Allen Is Hiding The Killer
Lily Allen is a Ditch Pig Clown
Lily Allen Shopping for Lingerie
Lily Allen Performing

Posted in:Ass|Lily Allen|Thong|Uncategorized|Upskirt

2008

25

Feb

Jennifer Morrison Bikini Gut of the Day

Her name is Jennifer Morrison and these are some pictures of her this last weekend in a bikini because I guess she wasn’t invited to any Oscar parties, because the industry doesn’t know who she is either. So instead of staying at home crying about it, she decided to show us all how she can afford a trip tot he beach with all the money she makes being on the show House. Unfortunately, instead of showing us up, she showed us how bad of a body she has. So unfortunately for her, I am not posting these pictures for you to jerk off to and to help her establish a new perverted fan base, I am posting them to inspire her to go on a fuckin’ diet and take up working out. My theory is that if you want to be on TV, you’ve gotta have the body for it, because if I wanted to see a bitch who looks 2 months pregnant, I’ll just stick to hanging outside the abortion clinic, because I know that those sluts are easy.


Related Posts:


Ivana Trump’s Old Lady Gut in a Bikini
Britney Spears Dancing in a Bikini
Nicole Richie Pregnant Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Belly|Bikini|Jennifer Morrison|Tits

2008

22

Feb

Shannon Elizabeth is Dancing With the Stars But Isn’t A Star of the Day

Dancing with the stars seems to be digging into the crates trying to find some table scrap celebrities willing to disrupt their busy schedule of doing nothing to do the show. Shannon Elizabeth is the token hot girl this season, while everyone else on the roster are people I’ve never fuckin’ heard of. Making me wonder if the next step for Dancing with the Stars is going to be Dancing with People who Have Been on TV Once. It will be less table scraps celebrities and more real life people who have happened to have been on TV, like American Idol reject, talk show guests and maybe even audience members of live TV that you only see for a split second when they pan over the crowd…

I know that you all conisder this bitch and her shitty old lady ass in her shitty poverty jogging pants to be something special because you fell in love with her in American Pie and by fell in love, I mean masturbated to repeatedly. Reality is that American Pie came out 10 fuckin’ years ago and all she was in the movie was a hot set of tits who is now pushing 40. Stop living in the past, even if was the height of your popularity.

That said, dancing is for queers and the only dance I do is called sitting on my couch all day in my own mess surfing the internet and drinking whiskey until the sun comes up. It’s a pretty lonely dance.


Related Posts:

Shannon Elizabeth Kissing at a Basketball Game

Posted in:Ass|Dancing|Shannon Elizabeth

2008

21

Feb

JoJo Showing Off in a Dress of the Day

Here is JoJo at Betsy Johnson like this is some kind of publicity stunt that happened 2 years too late, because no one knows who she is anymore, except for maybe a gang of perverts who get off to ex-15 year old popstars. The good news is that she is showing off her black booty in some dress, that bad news is that she doesn’t really have a black booty she just thinks she does, based on the way she used gangster jabber in interviews, or at least the way she used gangster jabby, considering we haven’t heard from her in awhile and it could have just been a phase.

The only thing that confuses me about these pictures is that she is part of the big tit generation, the one that gets their periods at nine and who have big ol’ tits by 12 because of the hormones in their food, but for some reason has no tits but still looks like a fan of eating. Maybe she hasn’t hit that part of puberty yet and for her boyfriend’s sake, lets hope she hasn’t hit the other kind of puberty either cuz their ain’t nothing wrong with having a girl who can’t get pregnant.

She turns 18 this year, so this is less perverted than it seems and remember I am in Canada so 14 is legal, like we’re still in the 1600s and there’s nothing wrong with that…if you’re the kind of guy who can only get dates by buying a girl tickets to the Hannah Montana concert because you know they can’t say no. Pervert.


Related Posts:

Jojo and Her Friends in Bed
Jojo in the Rain

Posted in:Ass|Dress|JoJo|Tits

2008

20

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Tight Dress of the Day

I just woke up and don’t feel like writing this site. What I do feel like doing is saving the world so I decided to report some suspect website that had naked under 18 year olds on it. I contacted my local authorities and gave me an email address to report what I found. This is what I wrote:

I just came across this family nudism website.

I know there is no harm in nudism and all that – but I fear they are attracting the wrong kind of audience – who look at this kind of thing sexually.

I bet a lot of predators are signed up to that site!!!

ps – there’s a really hot girl who is barely 18 on there.. What I wouldn’t do to be 16 again and get that drunk for her first time and show her a good time when my parents are out of town ! Let me know if you can find any information on her, I’d love to make her famous and she’s already willing to get naked so we’re halfway there. Thanks!!

Now, I will probably go to jail for trying to be funny about under 18 year olds naked. But before I do, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian in some GoGo dancer lookin’ dress hugging her big ass like you wish you could do. In case you were wondering, Kim Kardashian is not under 18, it takes many years of eating to make an ass like that. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Kourtney Kardashian’s Bikini in Miami
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashian Wearing a Bra for Her Big Boobs
KIm Kardashian’s Got Some Crazy TIts

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Tight Dress|Tits

2008

18

Feb

Eva Longoria’s Bikini Ass Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

If I wanted to see a Mexican in a a bikini, I’d just sneak into my stepdaughter’s room and squeeze into one of hers, again. Unfortunately, I am not very pretty to look at, otherwise I’d be pursuing a career as the first man to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated, but instead I am just humiliating myself in front of myself, which coincidentally is also in front of all my friends. I guess the good news is that watching me in a bikini, despite being pretty fucking homo, is more entertaining than seeing this bitch on all fours.

I know some of you like her, because she’s the second hottest girl on Desperate Housewives, which is like saying she’s the second hottest girl at the burn victim ward of the hospital because she only lost 40 % of her face. If that didn’t make sense, maybe this will….If you put a decent looking girl amongst old hags, you’re going to naturally want to to fuck her and wrongfully think she’s hot.

It’s some brainwashing that TV does to us that make it impossible to reprogram our brains back to normal and part of the reason why you still think Katie Holmes is a hot piece of ass and you still have Dawson’s Creek posters on your wall. Weirdo.

Regardless, I know she is still hotter than anything you’ve ever fucked, but that’s mainly because you’ve only had sex once and it was with a dog, So I know you would still fuck her, even though you think she’s damaged goods for marrying and getting knocked up by a black guy and his basketball playing penis, You’re racist but not racist enough to turn down vagina….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Eva Longoria|Tits

2008

14

Feb

Jami Gertz Bikini Pictures of the Day

Her name is Jami Gertz and she is in a bikini for Valentine’s Day, is a mom of three, is 43 and despite her monkey-like posture looks a hell of a lot better than Ivana Trump.

I’ve never heard of this girl, but then again I’ve never heard of many people. I am an idiot. I do know that she played Gilda Radner in some made for TV movie and if that’s not hot, I don’t know what is. Gilda Radner may be seen as some kind of legend, but I don’t think I’ve ever got busy with myself to old episodes of her on Saturday Night live. She may have made people laugh but her character had as much sex appeal as my Aids ridden neighbor’s ass, who is also annoying and has stupid jokes and will die before his time, but this Jami Gertz won’t be playing him in a made-for=TV movie, because no one cares about him since he wasn’t on Saturday Night Live. He’s just a heroin addict who used dirty needles and could never hold down a job or lasting relationships. If only he was on Saturday Night live, then maybe he would go down as a legend. Now the only going down he does is to the pharmacy for his meds and down the stairs everyday to find that I’ve stolen his paper. I figure he doesn’t need it.

This post seems depressing – I guess this is proof that you really shouldn’t joke about some things. Happy Valentines Day.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jami Gertz|Tits

2008

13

Feb

Lohan’s Got Some Leg of the Day

Lohan is getting out a car and she isn’t wearing leggings to cover up her legs, which is pretty unfortunate because her freckled skin reminds me of this dirty Vietnamese kid who lived around the corner from me and who came from a family of store owners who spent more time pricing half rotten food to take care of him and every time I’d see the little fucker he’d be covered in dirt and mud like he’d been rolling around in the puddle reliving the Vietnam war because the puddle was God’s toy for him because his parents weren’t about to buy him any, all their money went into the store.

Either way, like any girl in a short dress, keeping her goods underwraps where they should be, if only to keep the smell in, is hard. So if you look closely enough you will see a little freckled ass cheek that would have been considered cute when she was 5, because freckles are only cute on kids and not because 5 year old ass is hot but now it just looks like an anal sex accident that wasn’t cleaned up properly and that’s kinda gross unless you’re me, in which case it is a total turn on. I was always the kind of guy who was into banging girls hours after they fucked other dudes….I guess that’s why deep inside, I am convinced Lohan is my soul mate.

Posted in:Ass|Legs|Lindsay Lohan

2007

26

Nov

I am – Cindy Crawford in Her Bikini Pictures of the Day

cindy_crawford_black_bikini_top.jpg

I’ve already posted pictures from this day in Cindy Crawford’s life the other day, but I’ve been really drunk the last few weeks and this type of repetition is a lot better than the shit I pull on a nightly basis, like repeatedly starting fights, repeatedly sexually harassing girls, repeatedly making fun of people, repeatedly introducing myself to the same person 12 times, repeatedly waking up in random places and repeatedly doing the Soulja Boy dance, cuz no one does it quite like me.

I’ve been drinking a lot of vodka lately and since my liver is broken and my digestive system seems broken too, every time I take a shit it smells like fuckin’ vodka and gives me the urge to scoop in and eat the shit to see if it takes off the fuckin’ edge I have from last night.

Speaking of shit. Here’s Cindy Crawford in a bikini, reminding us that everything turns to shit even supermodels we all loved in the 90s become middle-aged soccer moms who have hotter bodies than other middle aged soccer moms, but are still middle-aged soccer moms who will never be 19 years old again and that is one of life’s great tragedies.


Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford Bikini Pictures from the Same Day
Cindy Crawford is Still Posing
Elle Macpherson is Still Hot

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Cindy Crawford|Pictures|Tits|Unsorted