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Archive for the Bikini Category

2010

10

May

Jenna Jameson Bikini to Follow-Up her Publicity Stunt of the Day

2 Comments »

For those of you who jerk off to pornstars but don’t worry about what pornstars do in their personal life, you may not have heard that Tito Ortiz “Beat the Fuck” out of Jenna Jameson, even though I based on her pussy, the Fuck Beat the Hell out of her long before Tito entered the picture and made her cold, dead, rotten uterus some twins, with the help of fertility medication, because when you’re a whore, your reproductive organs beat to a different “i wish i used condoms now I have pre-cancerous HPV” drum….

That said, it was her way of getting picked up in the media, because she’s no longer doing the one thing she knew how to do to make money, and she’s probably pretty bored and tired from raising kids, when up until this point the only level of responsiblity she had to take for herself was to take load on her face instead of inside her…..

Now she’s “rekindled” with her man, her fake injury washed off in the shower, and the paparazzi were hired to take some pics of her dumpy mom body that you all jerked off to over the last decade, in a bikini, which isn’t that interesting, since googling her name will bring up archive videos of her life that involved things being inserted in her cunt. Good times.

Here are some pics of her playing “mother” because “mothers” don’t have prescription pill adictions or come from abusive homes…bullshit….at least she’s in a bikini reminding us all that she’s really let herself go and lost whatever her scummy ass once had. Enjoy.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Jenna Jameson|Publicity Stunt

2010

05

May

Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch The Bikini Edition of the Day

3 Comments »

I have this thing where I track how ugly Ashley Tisdale is because I hate her and think she’s ugly and feel that just because she got a nosejob and a gig on some Disney Bullshit and a few awards were bought for her, she’s got this ego where she doesn’t realize how ugly she is. It’s called delusions and that’s the same kind of shit that landed me in an institution a few years ago because I thought I was a cop and would go around trying to arrest people with my pants around my ankles , something a hell of a lot less insane than Ashley Tisdale looking in the mirror everyday and thinking she’s got it going on…

So she’s put me to the official test and she has gone all out in her bikini, something I like to see any girl in, except maybe my wife or women of my wife’s size, but as we know Tisdale puts a lot of effort into working out so that she doesn’t have a fat body…. but she didn’t bring down my guard and despite it almost working on me as I stared into her non-cellulite teenage lookin’ ass, I still see ugly, and know she’s ugly and really ugly never stopped ne from fuckin a bitch, so long as she knows she’s fucking ugly….something I don’t think Tisdale knows….

So here she is with her awkward sex partner….

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Bikini|Ugly Watch

2010

04

May

Kelly Bensimon is Unfortunately in Her Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Seeing old ladies in bikinis is really only hot at the Senior Aquarobics class….but that’s just because I always get to see some grey pubic hair peaking out of their bathing suit bottoms since real old ladies embrace their age and don’t try to keep up with the times by getting bikini waxes, spending the day in the gym to have ripped awkward looking bodies so they can dress like they are young and hip, struggling to get noticed with a TV career all because you have a complex that cuz the pussy your ex-husband who’s name you kept was involved with, looks substantially hotter than you…..Real old ladies are authentic and not trash like this bitch…and authentic is always hot, especially when there is grey pubic hair since it excites me and has excited me since my glory days at the old folk’s home where I had some of my hottest sexually encounters cuz with enough lube, the pussy flowed like a waterfall and there was always one ready and willing when I was….cuz old ladies are easy…especially when they have no idea what is happening to them, are taking a nap, or have dementia….and here is Kelly Bensimon in her bikini with her ripped bodies trying to get noticed cuz this is all she has going for her…this is her peak and she’s not ready to let her low level celebrity slide just yet….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Bensimon

2010

03

May

Sloppy Jesery Shore Bitches on the Beach

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I don’t really mind that the Jersey Shore people are famous. They are substantially more opportunistic and clever than the trash I see locally who only care about their immediate circle of average at best looking girls in Ed Hardy and standing in shitty club booths pumpin’ bottles of Grey Goose like they really have the whole thing figured out. It’s not really their fault that they find the Guido lifestyle cool or want to be a part of it, especially when it leads to being on they type of TV where the more ridiculous you get the more people pay attention to you, and really when you have one chance to do it, you might as wll. America is trash and loves laughing at the trash because I guess no one likes to admit they are trash…and none of that annoys me…the only thing I can’t stand about the girls on this show is that they actually think they are hot and have it going on, like some fat stripper eating a hot dog who is totally delusional about the fact that she’s fat and shouldn’t be doin’ that…I just dont’ understand how anyone who is this would think they are great and not aspire to take their money and enroll in an etiquette class, some speech therapy and invest in a personal trainer and some classy designer clothes….but I guess it’s gotta do with gutter club rats being cool and who fucking cares what I have to say….they’re in bikini…and you like bikinis.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Jersey Shore|Miami Beach

2010

28

Apr

Doutzen Kroes in Her Bikini for Bazaar of the Day

5 Comments »

Doutzen Kroes is another one of those models who is owned by Victoria’s Secret because Victoria’s Secret found them in some obscure country, kidnapped them and forced them to sign their “agency” for life, or until they are done with them, and if they don’t, their family gets killed off or some shit…the only non Victoria’s Secret shit they can do is SI, or any other bikini/lingerie work, to keep people wanting to fuck them, so that there is a reason for the Victoria’s Secret catalog, or some shit….

So here she is in Bazaar, and the pictures don’t have as much Vagina lip as I’d like to see, but it’s better than nothing….

Posted in:Bikini|Doutzen Kroes

2010

26

Apr

Paris Hilton Back with Her Bullshit Pose in a Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton’s vagina dangling, drooping, sagging, and blowing in the wind in a bikini bottom for some Vegas bullshit she was attending now that she’s single and ready to get noticed again after a year I enjoyed of her laying low and keeping her bullshit cunt attention seeking second-rate Kim Kardashian self in hiding as she let her herpes sores finally dry out and flake off for the first time in her life, but unfortunately, she didn’t die in some obscure accident and she’s back, doing the same bullshit pose like she’s fucking Zoolander and showing off the same bullshit tits, cheap whore style and trash can attitude that I can’t fucking stand because she’s rich but would probably love if I was paying her to take it up the ass in the bathroom at the strip club for a couple extra bucks for her gutter coke habit, if you know what I mean…

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Bikini|Paris Hilton

2010

26

Apr

Kristin Cavallari Milking her Last Few Days of Fame in a Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

It’s nice to see Kristin Cavallari taking advantage of the last few months people will bother knowing who she is by getting out in her bikini in some kind of last attempt to get noticed. I’m sure she’s also getting paid by the Vegas Pool Party that hired her to be their shitty fucking host for their guests to feel connected to a star on their Vegas trip and it is a fucking recession and she’s really fucking affordable, because any chance to get out there in a bikini, allows for her to think there may be another run for her that will lead to a lasting career, cuz she’s still young and in her mind is just getting started, but in reality she’s gotta be really fucking done and that’s a good fucking thing…..

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Bikini|Kristin Cavallari

2010

22

Apr

Olivia Munn in her Bikini of the Day

10 Comments »

I fucking hate Olivia Munn and her scam. She’s not fucking hot…stop thinking she is just because she speaks your fucking language you virgin gamer motherfuckers….and here she is in a bikini, showing off her average at best body…but a body you think is substantial cuz she marketed herself to your bullshit, loser, socially awkward demographic. I hate you….

The only thing I like about these pictures is that her bikini looks like something you’d get if your bikini had sex with your lingerie and had illegitimate babies…but seriously put that shit on someone worth lookin’ at in a fucking bikini. Thanks in advance assholes….

Posted in:Bikini|Olivia Munn

2010

22

Apr

Jesery Shore Trash in Bikinis in Miami of the Day

9 Comments »



I am just happy they kept Snooki wrapped the fuck up…..these are some really sloppy fucking girls…the kind of girls you know you can hustle in the club, not just because they are throwing up all over themselves, but because they aren’t hot, even though they think they are. Seriously, they all look like half-retarded dogs and the funniest thing about them is that they a huge part of their jobs is to rock out in a bikini all day, despite none of them really having a decent bikini body, not even the one with implants. I feel like I’m watching the beach day at the trailer park or some shit. There is nothing cool, or good about this, excpet maybe that there’s a risk for all of them to collectively drown…..

I didn’t know girls still dressed like this, and I would know, I live amongst poor, drunk, white trash and see them out everyday, and even they have more style than this Jersey shit…even the most gutter of strippers looks and dresses better than this, and America needs to stop these latch on pigs as they rock out in Florida for their new season about a month after Spring Break, or as they like to call it, the holiest week of the year….when the only people in Miami are Cubans, Old people and little dying kids on their make-a-wish foundation dream trips….

Here are the disgusting pics….it’s so irritating that these bitches don’t realize that they are actually fucking hideous….but at least they are in the bikini…..even though they represent everything wrong in society….

Pics via Fame
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Jersey Shore|Trash

2010

21

Apr

Kate Bosworth Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

Kate Bosworth has something hot about her. Maybe it’s her face, or her bank account despite never getting work, but I like to think it’s got more to do with her not being fat. Sure in not being fat, she’s pretty much got no tit, but with all the jacked up hormones in food and obesity, sometimes no tit is a fucking luxury, cuz big sloppy tit are often a sign of disgusting….but then again, I have an anorexia fetish…

Small tit is only a sign of ghetto shit when it’s on a fat chick, because there’s something totally unnatural about the shit, like bitch was lives under powerlines or near the nuclear plant, or has a diet of high chemical junk food that distorts her genetic code, leaving her fat, flat and awkward looking….and unfortunately for me, one of them is my fucking wife and her 48 A cup bra….like some horrible curse from God…and further proof I fucking suck at life….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Bosworth