Bikini Archives - Page 77 of 93 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

25

Sep

I am – Nicole Scherzinger's Baby Love Video of the Day

So this Pussycat Doll is launching her solo career and her new video involves her laying in bed in her panties, I guess she’s singing too but I kept shit on mute because I don’t like exposing myself to shit unnecessarily. I used to fight with my stepdaughter about the jiggy club anthems she would always listen to. I’d try to get her to turn the shit off because if I wanted to listen to jiggy club anthems, I’d go to jiggy clubs and order a bottle of Grey Goose and hustle chicks by giving them free drinks and showing off my jiggy tattoos and jiggy muscles while living the jiggy life….when I am not in the mood for that Jiggy shit, I’d rather listen to good music.

Either way, she’s showing off her body, because she’s not stupid and realizes that her body is her number one talent…The topless bikini scene is worth pausing…..lyrics like “you’re my baby love, you make the sun come up on a cloudy day” is just too deep for me to grasp (yes I turned on the volume) but tits and ass, I understand.

Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in Her Music Video
Nicole Scherzinger at Some Event Pictures
Pussycat Doll Pussy(cat) Cleavage Pictures
Pussy Cat Dolls Performing Pictures

2007

24

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

These have been out for a while. I saw them over the weekend. I thought that it was nice to see her taking a vacation from her life that is a vacation. I am not one to really talk. I may not have any money but I don’t have to get up to look at some asshole boss in the face everyday….and sometimes that’s more important than having money.

Either way, I like pregnant girls because girls generally won’t ever let me get them pregnant. That means I have never had sex with one, or had to deal with all their raging pregnancy emotions and hormonal imbalances. I am the kind of guy who girls end up banging out of confusion or depression and as their lives go on they realize that I am not worthy of dropping my seed in their womb. Even my wife told me that there was no way she would ever have my babies when we first hooked up and I thought it was the right thing to do since I was married and hated her.

Reality is that kids are kinda cool and would have distracted me from things I hated, until realizing that they were damn expensive to keep around and then I’d resent them for having to get a job that would make me face a boss everyday just to pay for their stupid designer clothes….So reality is that I may not have a legacy or a little fucker to pass all my wisdom onto, but at least I don’t have to work…

Point of all this is to say I could go off about how bitch looks like a rat-faced rodent of some sort and that she’s probably pregnant with 10 little babies in this litter, or I could go on to talk about how she’s so anorexic and now she’s not pregnant she just has a distended ethiopian stomach (it’s her heritage), I could go onto how the baby isn’t really a baby, it’s just where Good Charlotte hides their make-up and gay porn because they are fags and they don’t want that getting out…I could talk about how dumpy her ass is or how her milk filled tits are really luxurious but I am not going to do that because I would rather go out and get drunk. See ya.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Titties
Nicole Richie’s See Through Maternity Slutwear
Nicole Richie is Pregant!!!!

2007

24

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie's Pregnant Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

These have been out for a while. I saw them over the weekend. I thought that it was nice to see her taking a vacation from her life that is a vacation. I am not one to really talk. I may not have any money but I don’t have to get up to look at some asshole boss in the face everyday….and sometimes that’s more important than having money.

Either way, I like pregnant girls because girls generally won’t ever let me get them pregnant. That means I have never had sex with one, or had to deal with all their raging pregnancy emotions and hormonal imbalances. I am the kind of guy who girls end up banging out of confusion or depression and as their lives go on they realize that I am not worthy of dropping my seed in their womb. Even my wife told me that there was no way she would ever have my babies when we first hooked up and I thought it was the right thing to do since I was married and hated her.

Reality is that kids are kinda cool and would have distracted me from things I hated, until realizing that they were damn expensive to keep around and then I’d resent them for having to get a job that would make me face a boss everyday just to pay for their stupid designer clothes….So reality is that I may not have a legacy or a little fucker to pass all my wisdom onto, but at least I don’t have to work…

Point of all this is to say I could go off about how bitch looks like a rat-faced rodent of some sort and that she’s probably pregnant with 10 little babies in this litter, or I could go on to talk about how she’s so anorexic and now she’s not pregnant she just has a distended ethiopian stomach (it’s her heritage), I could go onto how the baby isn’t really a baby, it’s just where Good Charlotte hides their make-up and gay porn because they are fags and they don’t want that getting out…I could talk about how dumpy her ass is or how her milk filled tits are really luxurious but I am not going to do that because I would rather go out and get drunk. See ya.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Titties
Nicole Richie’s See Through Maternity Slutwear
Nicole Richie is Pregant!!!!

2007

18

Sep

I am – Pamela Anderson in a Bikini in Malibu of the Day

4 Comments »

I guess Pam Anderson doesn’t realize that her prime ended when Baywatch was still on the air and ever since then it’s been this downward spiral of fake tit removal, fake tit replacement and a haggard old catcher’s mitt of a face that reminds me of the lady who works at the Salvation Army where I buy all my used panties for my used panty collection. I am weird like that.

Pam Anderson can’t seem to get herself out of a fucking bikini. Every week there are new pictures of her half naked and although half naked is good, I find this shit desperation like a Britney Spears comeback performance. At first I just thought she went insane and got a bikini grafted onto her because it is such a part of who she is, but then I realized that that was a stupid thought and that she is just like the local stripper, who was the star performer ten years ago, you know the one who everyone wanted the lap dance from and you’d never get a chance to touch her tits because she was always in the back working, who now still works the same club, holding onto a dream, remembering the good years while chain smoking at the bar hoping that someone will either remember her and take her for a dance the sake of a fantasy they never lived out, or that all the other girls get taken in the back and she’s the last man standing. She knows she’d be better off working as a receptionist or at the cosmetics counter of the Pharmacy but stripping is all she knows.

Here are some Pam Anderson bikini ass pics for you to live out the fantasy from the past when she was actual relevant, hot and wanted by all. Before she had two washed up losers fighting over her. Around the time of the sex tape, but all things aside, she has an amazing ass and I’d still do her, her big tits and her hepatitis ridden vagina.

Related Posts:

Some Pam Anderson in a Black Bikini Pictures
Pam Anderson’s Vagina Puppy Pictures
Pam Anderson in a One Piece Bathing Suit Pictures
Pam Anderson Nipple and Ass in a Bikini

2007

18

Sep

I am – Penelope Cruz’s Cousin and Sister at the Beach of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz’s family on the beach somewhere without Penelope Cruz. I have posted about her sister Monica Cruz before, she’s sin the thong, but I have no idea who the topless chick is. The message board I steal my pictures from say that it’s her cousin and it doesn’t really matter who she is, all that matters is that she is living the life, sitting on the beach all thanks to Penelope’s hard work. I guess this is a lot like when they were living in Spain as kids and they’d sit at home all day and send Penelope off to mow lawns, clean houses, work at the local cafe so that when she got home they could steal her paycheck and buy themselves ice cream.

Reality is that I don’t care how she’s related to Penelope Cruz because I just like topless beaches and would post that shit whether bitch was famous or not. I have this fantasy of grandeur, living the life with an above ground pool and a backyard where my stepdaughter and her friends will tan topless while I just sit back and drink beer. All the 18-20 year old hot girls will come over to take advantage of the only pool in the ghetto and I will be a happy fucking man….

I guess the point of this post is that the cousin’s tits are uneven and there’s nothing sexier than bringing a bitch home, taking off her bra to find that shit was being balanced out with a pair of socks and you’re really dealing with some one tit bigger than the other shit that is a lot like driving with a flat tire.

Here are those pics:

Related Posts:

Penelope or Monica Cruz Foot Fetish Pics
Penelope Cruz’s TIts Leaving the Gym
Penelope Cruz Bikini Pictures
Penelope Cruz in a Short Dress

2007

18

Sep

I am – Penelope Cruz's Cousin and Sister at the Beach of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz’s family on the beach somewhere without Penelope Cruz. I have posted about her sister Monica Cruz before, she’s sin the thong, but I have no idea who the topless chick is. The message board I steal my pictures from say that it’s her cousin and it doesn’t really matter who she is, all that matters is that she is living the life, sitting on the beach all thanks to Penelope’s hard work. I guess this is a lot like when they were living in Spain as kids and they’d sit at home all day and send Penelope off to mow lawns, clean houses, work at the local cafe so that when she got home they could steal her paycheck and buy themselves ice cream.

Reality is that I don’t care how she’s related to Penelope Cruz because I just like topless beaches and would post that shit whether bitch was famous or not. I have this fantasy of grandeur, living the life with an above ground pool and a backyard where my stepdaughter and her friends will tan topless while I just sit back and drink beer. All the 18-20 year old hot girls will come over to take advantage of the only pool in the ghetto and I will be a happy fucking man….

I guess the point of this post is that the cousin’s tits are uneven and there’s nothing sexier than bringing a bitch home, taking off her bra to find that shit was being balanced out with a pair of socks and you’re really dealing with some one tit bigger than the other shit that is a lot like driving with a flat tire.

Here are those pics:

Related Posts:

Penelope or Monica Cruz Foot Fetish Pics
Penelope Cruz’s TIts Leaving the Gym
Penelope Cruz Bikini Pictures
Penelope Cruz in a Short Dress

2007

17

Sep

I am – Jennifer Ellison Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I have no idea when these pictures were taken mainly because I don’t even know who this bitch is, but also because I am not good at staying on top of shit. I can’t even recognize the real celebrities in pictures so pointing out some no name is pretty much impossible. I do know that these pictures are doing the rounds and that she’s got some big tits and an exposed ass and that’s something I fully support.

The thing I like about no name d-list celebrities is that they have these huge fucking egos. They think they are more important than they are and give attitude to anyone who crosses their path, because they are trying to maintain that they are important because they have been on TV or in a magazine or some shit. Real celebs aren’t as accessible because people are constantly running after them and actually care about them, so I’d never know if they work the same way but I’ll never know and I don’t really care.

What I do know is that I met some useless actor from commercials out of LA who has been there for 2 years trying to establish himself with some kind of career. He was talking to a girl I was talking to. Dude was talking about how he likes to visit montreal, but his new home is LA and that he’ll be going back fro auditions in a couple of days, thinking that that will lock down her vagina for him. He would go off on how he’s met certain celebs and how the bars in LA are way cooler than the shit hole we happened to be in. He was drinking champagne and I thought his game was fucking weak but dude still got the girl to go home with him.

All this to say that losers with a dream who are delusional enough to move to LA in hopes of being found, get a lot of pussy when they leave LA because the girls they meet are easily impressed and fuck them in the event they ever do hit it big so that they have a story to tell their kids.

What I am getting at is that if you can’t impress girls you meet lie. Tell them you are some d-list piece of shit, drink champagne and compare everything to LA and you will probably end up getting laid or beat up by local guys who think actors are fags and don’t like the way their scarves seduce the local sluts….

Here are those Jennifer Ellison Bikini pictures.

Related Posts:

Jennifer Ellison’s See Through Shirt Pictures
Jennifer Ellison is a 2 Dollar Hooker Pictures
Jennifer Ellison Public Service Announcement

2007

12

Sep

I am – Shitty Quality Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

I didn’t know who this bitch was before a week or 2 ago so I have no idea when they were taken and that means that they could be old or they could be new but one thing I am sure about is that they are fucking shitty.

This Vanessa Hudgen’s bitch is doing what almost every girl in my life has done. She’s given us a taste of her nakedness, because one night she had poor judgment and now that we want more she’s keeping shit covered up. My logic is that since we’ve already seen it, you should be naked every time we’re together, and since I don’t get out much, being together is you in pictures on my computer.

I remember after almost every girl I ever hooked up with on any level, I’m talking them topless, them bottomless, them flashing me, them showering for me, me finger-banging them, me going down on them, them going down on me, anal sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, dry sex, heavy petting, drunk sex, sober sex, lesbian sex… it was always a one time deal. They’d give me a taste and I never had what it took to get them doing it again. The shame and embarrassment outweighed the fun in doing it and since they knew that I wasn’t up to their standards, they could easily find a better guy to share their goods with. I predict that’s what you can expect from this High School Musical slut, we’ve got a taste and you won’t be seeing her naked for a little while.

But we will see her in shitty bikini pictures.

Bonus – I found some Better Quality Pics of Her With the Fag Efron….

Related Posts:

Naked Vanessa Hudgens some Nude Self-Shot Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Self-Shot Erotica
Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures
Ashley Tisdale in a White Bikini

2007

10

Sep

I am – Kate Moss Topless Bikini Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I love Kate Moss. I didn’t always love Kate Moss because there was a point in her career where she looked like a tall, lanky boy. But as she got older and she got hotter and grew some tits, but she seems to have lost those tits and she is looking haggard, but anyone who can dive as graceful as her is worth a round.

She’s living the dream, with all her cocaine and her cool ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty’s drug addiction and her wallet still full of money for just looking pretty 10 years ago to some faggots who designed clothing and her constant toplessness that I am a fan of, because any girl who gets naked casually even if she’s a little washed up is worth lookin at. I had this fantasy of making it big and having topless hot tub parties with chicks that were probably a lot more haggard than Kate Moss, but that’s just because the only girls willing to get naked for me are the girls that no one else in the world wants, but it doesn’t matter to me because I have no standards, so one mans trash is my insecure, easy to manipulate to get naked treasure….and it’s still a lot better than anything you’re getting….

Either way, look at these Kate Moss pics because small tits are hotter than nipples that point to the ground…and white bikinis are hotter than any other color bikini because everyday girls wear them without realizing how see-through they are….pervert..

Related Posts:

Kate Moss See Through Dress Pictures
Kate Moss Topless Beach – Again Pictures
Kate Moss Topless Beach Pictures
Kate Moss Nipples in a Photoshoot Pictures

2007

10

Sep

I am – Britney Spears Comeback Performance of the Day

9 Comments »

I’ve been telling people for a long time that this whole Britney Spears thing has been some kind of obscure PR act in efforts to stay in the limelight while getting her shit together before releasing her new album. I really thought that she was preparing to hit big again for a long time but had to get the pregnancy weight off and sort her shit out with her loser husband before really focusing on the comeback. I was convinced that in effort to sell records in future, she was going to play the wreck everyone wanted her to be, because it got her in magazines and on TV and on every fucking website out there.

I didn’t realize she really was a wreck. I think it’s safe to say, that I was fucking wrong. This bitch is a bigger mess than my wife’s panties, and you may not know how big of a mess that is, I think I’ll let you take my word on it. I thought she was going to come through the first place she probably the shouldn’t have been a mess because it was so anticipated. Maybe it is part of her plan and maybe I am wrong and maybe there is still hope but her skill is a fucking joke and I am no judge of dancing ability or lip syncing ability but I can tell you that she was lazy, seemed like she was jacked on some kind of drugs, bloated and reminded me of every fat chick I’ve ever banged, except the fat chicks always managed to make me cum in the end.

Watching a girls career go down the toilet has been pretty depressing, it’s like watching your favorite whore who loved licking your asshole contract HIV and everytime you’d get her discounted ass licking AIDS rate, you’d slowly see her fade away but on the positive side it probably makes her a lot more accessible because no one is going to want to touch her and that gives us all hope that one day we can knock her up like we were K-Fed, because disgusting or not, fucking her is a good business opportunity.

Either way, here are the pictures of her performance and if you don’t think this post is funny, realize it isn’t supposed to be, it’s my own kind of useless eulogy to a hot popstar that once was…..and despite fighting in her corner for the last little while, I have to accept the fact that she’s over…..the next time I want to watch some fat mom out of breath mouthing words, I’ll just stick to watching the mother/baby aquarobics class at my local Y through the back alley window until they call the cops on me again …because those mom’s at least have the decency to cover up their gunt….

Let’s hope the rest of the day brings more happiness, and in the meantime, enjoy the pics because she is half naked and in fishnets, and she’s laughing because even she realizes that this shit’s over and that it’s all some depressing joke that she’s just milking with her shitty retard-highschool talent show performance that was hot when she was 17 and not so much when she’s crazy…but I’d know you’d all still do her….and that’s the reason why I am here…to remind you that no matter how fucking wrecked bitch is, you’re still never going to taste the cheesy flavor dripping out of her twat. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Thong Ass Pictures
Britney Spears Nipple Slip Pictures
Britney Spears Bikini Ass Pictures
Britney Spears Out in a Bra Pictures

Archive for the Bikini Category