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Archive for the Bikini Category

2007

09

Oct

I am – Some Young Slut Named Adele Silva's Fake Tits of the Day

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I am all about young sluts because they are insecure and easy to get naked. They are also raised on porn and start banging when they are 12 making them pretty experienced by the time they hit 20. The world is going to shit and everyone is going to die of AIDS, even if AIDS is a made up disease and doesn’t really exist.

Speaking of AIDS, my friend is a DJ at a gay club and he gets laid from every angle every weekend, but not from the fags but from the hot chicks who hang with fags because fags are trendy and hot chicks think having a fag makes them cooler, like an expensive purse or some shit. Anyway, these hot chicks accompany their fags to clubs and since fags are bigger sluts than the hot sluts are they are usually left alone in the corner and that’s when the predators like me move in because we aren’t gay and just want to see them on all fours in the bathroom stall, because we are in a gay club after all and have to keep shit classy.

Either way, this Adele Silva chick is unknown to me, but she looks young and has implants because that’s the generation we live in, a generation of sluts. It’s like the sexual revolution or some shit….and for some reason you still can’t get laid and least you can always jerk off to other people getting laid, that shits pretty accessible, just hit up Google.


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Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures
Kate Moss Topless Bikini Pics
Rebecca Gayheart Topless Murderer on a Yacht Pictures
Eva Longoria Vaginal Definition Bikini

Posted in:Adele Silva|Bikini|Fake Tits|Impants|Unsorted

2007

05

Oct

I am – Hilary Duff Wet Nipples of the Day

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I just got in a fight with a homeless bitch in a wheel chair, she wanted money for a hot dog and some dude offered her 10 dollars to see her walk. She didn’t go through with it because either she was actually handicapped or she didn’t want to fuck up her lie that made her a lot more than 10 dollars. She wasn’t really nice when asking for money, and kinda barked in our faces and shit while following us down the street I tried to get my friend to get a blowjob from her. I would have paid because I am sure it would have been cheap but he pussied out because of the rash on her face.

Hilary Duff kinda reminds me of the wheelchair homeless woman, not because they looked the same, the homeless chick was toothless and fat, when Hilary is horse-headed and skinny but because they are both shitty actors and here she is on set rockin’ some bikini and flaunting her hard nipples while wet. Which should be exciting for you, because hard nipples let you imagine what her naked tit looks like and that helps you draw your series of Hilary Duff Nudes you’ve been working on since she was 15. Weirdo.


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Hilary Duff in Shorts

Hilary Duff in Bikini
Hilary Duff in Concert

Posted in:Bikini|Clothed|Hilary Duff|Nipples|Unsorted|Wet

2007

04

Oct

I am – Anna Kournikova Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Here are some Anna Kournikova Bikini pictures, because although she’s getting older, her tight Russian body in a bikini never gets old to me.

The thing I like about Russian chicks is that they have low standards. They are hot and aren’t looking for much more than food on the table and citizenship to a new prosperous country. They grew up as communists with rationed bread and toilet paper and the freedom we have to go and buy as much bread as we want is appealing enough for them to fall in love with you, have your babies and marry you. You don’t need to be famous to bang these bitches, you just need a passport where as North American girls are all materialistic and shit and want their good lookin’, rich, provider of a man who treats them like shit.

I guess the point of all this is to say, start saving your money, because a trip to Russia will make you feel like the rockstar you always wanted to be and maybe you’ll be able to bring home something nice for your mother who is scared you’re going to die alone and a virgin. At least she cares.

Here are some pictures of Anna Kournikova, the least successful tennis player but probably the best thing to happen to tennis because she wasn’t some brute lesbian grunting on the court, but a dainty little russian who we all pretended her gasps and grunts were sounds of her orgasms. Nothing like shutting your eyes and turning up the volume to a tennis match, that shit’s like porno and we all know how you feel about porn.

Thanks to the dude who sent these in, I’ll be your mail order bride, but I doubt you’d be able to stomach my stink. Cuddles.


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Anna Kournikova Bikini Top and Short Shorts
Some Anna Kournikova Black Bikini Top
Some Anna Kournikova Cleavage

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Bikini|Body|Tight|Tits|Unsorted

2007

02

Oct

I am – Brooke Burns Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Brooke Burns Paddle Surfing like so many other celebrity bikini sets I’ve seen the last few months. It’s some new craze that everyone’s jumping on because they don’t realize how fucking Gay it is. This shit is gayer than watching prostate massage porn, and that’s pretty gay, even if the person doing the prostate massage has a vagina. Speaking of vagina, if you look close enough you can see part of her vagina, which should make you happy considering you’ve never really seen a vagina and everytime you watch porn shit’s like seeing pictures of the Loch Ness Monster or Big Foot, because you know it exists, you’ve just never tasted it.

Either way, here are those pics of a tall skinny and fit Brook Burns in her bikini.


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Jennifer Aniston Paddle Surfing
Jennifer Garner Paddle Surfing
Elle Macpherson Surfing
Courtney Cox Surfing

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Brooke Burns|Paddle Surfing|Pussy|Tits|Unsorted

2007

01

Oct

I am – Jennifer Aniston's Bikini Pictures of the Day

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I overheard some people talking about Jennifer Aniston and Angelina the other day, they were fighting about who was hotter and I was surprised people still even bother arguing that shit. You’d think people have better things to do with their time than talk about people they don’t know, then I remembered that’s what I do everyday on this site, but since my life is a walking contradiction and I am probably the most inconsistent person out there and have nothing better to do, I still think arguing that shit is a waste of fucking time because it’s obvious the Angelina destroys this 4 day old Greek Salad of a bitch.

But really, who fucking cares who is hotter, hotness isn’t important, there are so many hot chick in the world and everyone’s into different shit that we should be caring about who’s a better fuck, and the fact that Brad Pitt left his marriage for Angelina, pretty much sums that up for all of us. Sure Aniston was a ass loving greek but anyone can take it up the ass, even you, and what guys want is a girl who begs for that shit like if she doesn’t get it she’ll fucking curl up and die.

You see finding a decent lookin’ chick who is in love with dick more than she’s in love with herself is harder than finding a hot chick I’d like to fuck because I see them every time I leave my house. A girl who doesn’t care if she’s seen as a slut and who loves fucking like a whore, who is addicted to dick and always wants yours is really what we are lookin’ for. So when lookin’ at whether Angelina or Aniston is hotter, you should really be focusing on who’s a better fuck because if you ask any dude if he’d rather a hot chick who blows you the fuck away in bed, or a bikini model who just lays there and takes it, motherfucker will probably take the one who knows how to fuck. Super models are good for your public image and ego, but when you’re locked down in your bedroom getting the best sex of your life, who gives a fuck about public image because you haven’t left your house in days….

Point of all this is that you’ll never get the supermodel frigid bitch or the cute sex addicted chick, so you don’t even have to worry about any of this shit, you can just sit there and jerk off to your 16 year old neighbor and her friends sunbathing, or put all your energy into the fat retarded chick in your class with the glass eye, who thinks you’re funny when ever you talk to her and she’s already asked you to fuck her but you’re too scared of vagina to go through with it…or you could focus on making some serious changes so that you get whatever the fuck you want and it’s really just a matter of having lots of money because hot chicks like money and do dirty things to be with guys with money.

Here are some pictures of Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston in a bikini, because he’s probably slammin’ her, even though he could have any 20 year old party slut he wants…but maybe washed up old ladies who aren’t good enough for Brad Pitt with lots of money is what he wants….maybe he’s living out his Aniston Fantasy from when he used to jerk off to her hard nipples on FRIENDS, but I think you’re the only person who did that. Weirdo.


Related Posts:

Jennifer Aniston Bending Over in a Bikini Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Paddle-Surfing Like a Fag in a Bikini Top Pictures
Jennifer Aniston’s Hard Nipple Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Throwback Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Jennifer Aniston|old|Tits|Unsorted

2007

01

Oct

I am – Jennifer Aniston’s Bikini Pictures of the Day

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I overheard some people talking about Jennifer Aniston and Angelina the other day, they were fighting about who was hotter and I was surprised people still even bother arguing that shit. You’d think people have better things to do with their time than talk about people they don’t know, then I remembered that’s what I do everyday on this site, but since my life is a walking contradiction and I am probably the most inconsistent person out there and have nothing better to do, I still think arguing that shit is a waste of fucking time because it’s obvious the Angelina destroys this 4 day old Greek Salad of a bitch.

But really, who fucking cares who is hotter, hotness isn’t important, there are so many hot chick in the world and everyone’s into different shit that we should be caring about who’s a better fuck, and the fact that Brad Pitt left his marriage for Angelina, pretty much sums that up for all of us. Sure Aniston was a ass loving greek but anyone can take it up the ass, even you, and what guys want is a girl who begs for that shit like if she doesn’t get it she’ll fucking curl up and die.

You see finding a decent lookin’ chick who is in love with dick more than she’s in love with herself is harder than finding a hot chick I’d like to fuck because I see them every time I leave my house. A girl who doesn’t care if she’s seen as a slut and who loves fucking like a whore, who is addicted to dick and always wants yours is really what we are lookin’ for. So when lookin’ at whether Angelina or Aniston is hotter, you should really be focusing on who’s a better fuck because if you ask any dude if he’d rather a hot chick who blows you the fuck away in bed, or a bikini model who just lays there and takes it, motherfucker will probably take the one who knows how to fuck. Super models are good for your public image and ego, but when you’re locked down in your bedroom getting the best sex of your life, who gives a fuck about public image because you haven’t left your house in days….

Point of all this is that you’ll never get the supermodel frigid bitch or the cute sex addicted chick, so you don’t even have to worry about any of this shit, you can just sit there and jerk off to your 16 year old neighbor and her friends sunbathing, or put all your energy into the fat retarded chick in your class with the glass eye, who thinks you’re funny when ever you talk to her and she’s already asked you to fuck her but you’re too scared of vagina to go through with it…or you could focus on making some serious changes so that you get whatever the fuck you want and it’s really just a matter of having lots of money because hot chicks like money and do dirty things to be with guys with money.

Here are some pictures of Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston in a bikini, because he’s probably slammin’ her, even though he could have any 20 year old party slut he wants…but maybe washed up old ladies who aren’t good enough for Brad Pitt with lots of money is what he wants….maybe he’s living out his Aniston Fantasy from when he used to jerk off to her hard nipples on FRIENDS, but I think you’re the only person who did that. Weirdo.


Related Posts:

Jennifer Aniston Bending Over in a Bikini Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Paddle-Surfing Like a Fag in a Bikini Top Pictures
Jennifer Aniston’s Hard Nipple Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Throwback Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Jennifer Aniston|old|Tits|Unsorted

2007

28

Sep

I am – Heidi Montag in a BIkini of the Day

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I just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out if these bikini pics are old or not because I feel like they are, but decided fuck it, I am going to post them anyway, because bikinis brighten up our day and because I have no editorial standards. Speaking of bright days, I had a bowl of cereal today, and the milk was sour. That’s pretty much the kind of days I always have. I ate the shit anyway because I don’t have money to buy milk and it was the last of the cereal. It tasted like shit and probably will rape my insides, but that’s just what hard living is all about.

I can only assume that’s what Heidi Montag’s baby’s going to feel like as long as he’s breast feeding, because her tits look like they are going to pop and the silicone will probably make her milk sour and her baby retarded, not that he wouldn’t be retarded in the first place, but I am just saying….

I wonder how many boys teased her growing up about being flat chested. I wonder if they used to call her flat things, like Heidi Mont-Flat, because kids are mean like that and whatever they did they gave her a complex. Maybe one of her ex boyfriends would make her fuck with her shirt on and told her that when she takes it off it reminds him of fucking a dude and he can’t stomach that shit, or maybe he just would always talk about how hot her friends tits were.

The new tits she would rather die than not have are like a new lease on life. She’s like a whole new girl, and in these pictures she looks like a lame party slut, one who will let her friends and strangers see how awesome the new tits are, even if fake tits are never awesome, but she’ll never realize it because getting fake tits in the first place means you think fake tits are hotter than your little awkward uneven tits everyone used to laugh at…..

The point of this post is that new tits and hot body don’t take away from the fact that she needs a new face, it may take a little focus off her ugly, but she’s still ugly. I can’t get this sour milk taste out of my mouth so that’s where this post ends. Goodbyes are never easy….maybe we should just leave it at See You Later….it’s easier that way….


Related Posts:

Older Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures
Even Older Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures
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Posted in:Bikini|Boobs|Heidi Montag|Implants|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Sep

I am – Kristen Bell in a Bikini on the Set of Heroes of the Day

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I don’t watch Heroes, because I am not into the whole hero bullshit. I don’t believe in them. I am more into self absorbed pricks who don’t give a fuck about anyone, even themselves and drink themselves into an early grave while trying to bring everyone around them down with them. So I didn’t know who Kristen Bell was, but she was spotted in a bikini, so now I do and feel like a much better person for it, and by better I mean like a virgin. Because every time I post bikini pics, I always feel like a fag who can’t get pussy and who sits at home obsessing over bitches like the other people with these kinds of sites and reality is that I honestly don’t give a fuck about them or about them in bikinis. There is perfectly good pussy right outside my door for me to invite over to try on bikinis, but I do it for you, because I know you’re struggling so I guess in a lot of ways, that makes me a hero…unlike the buzz-killing asshole who’s covering her up with his gayer than Ellen pink blanket….

Here are them there pics.


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Posted in:Bikini|Heroes|Kristen Bell|Unsorted

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kristin Cavallari Bikini Pictures of the Day

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One of my readers just emailed me giving me shit for waking up at 2 pm. I guess I am living the life of a useless degenerate slob and I would be disgusted by myself if I was an outsider lookin’ in, but sleeping in until 2 pm is one of life’s luxuries when you don’t have a job. It’s like being a 15 year old all over again.

The reality is that I am a degenerate loser who is usless and a slob, but I didn’t wake up at 2 pm, but I could have if I wanted to because I am unemployed. I actually woke up at 8:30 and went downtown to watch girls in their work clothes walking around, rushing to get to their jobs, drinkin’ their morning coffees in the pinstripe skirts, talkin on their cellulars, smoking their cigarettes and the whole experience was like porno.

I like doing this every couple of days because it makes me happy to know that the world has changed so much that women have been taken out of the kitchen and dropped into the workforce. It breeds strong financially independent women who are either too busy to want to get locked down so they just have one-night stands over and over again because they think the Sex in the City dream is as glamourous as they made it out to be on TV, without realizing that it’s a TV show and real life doesn’t work like that, and that they are just sad lonely whores with respectable jobs that can afford to get their hair done, and nice enough clothes and a personal trainer so that men with money can try to seduce them by taking them out to fancy places, because even girls in their mid-20s are influenced by the media and once they do get locked down because they realize that TV lied to them and that they were miserable being independent whores but still want to keep focus on their career, that means the guy can stay home at let them pay their way….It’s a welcomed societal change. Until they leave you for a co-worker and you have to go on welfare.

Here are some bikini pictures of Kristin Cavallari on set, because her work clothes are a bikini…..but then again doing what she does isn’t really a work…it’s more like getting paid to have a good time while all you other fuckers are out working hard for a fraction of her money and based on the facial expressions she’s making, she’s a worse actor that my 5 year old neighbor who played Santa in his Christmas Pageant..and this movie will be worse than having to sit through his play even though he was more believable that role than this over exaggerated mess. Enjoy.


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Pam Anderson in a Bikini in Malibu
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Posted in:Bikini|Kristin Cavallari|Movie|Unsorted|Volleyball|Working

2007

25

Sep

I am – Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video of the Day

So this Pussycat Doll is launching her solo career and her new video involves her laying in bed in her panties, I guess she’s singing too but I kept shit on mute because I don’t like exposing myself to shit unnecessarily. I used to fight with my stepdaughter about the jiggy club anthems she would always listen to. I’d try to get her to turn the shit off because if I wanted to listen to jiggy club anthems, I’d go to jiggy clubs and order a bottle of Grey Goose and hustle chicks by giving them free drinks and showing off my jiggy tattoos and jiggy muscles while living the jiggy life….when I am not in the mood for that Jiggy shit, I’d rather listen to good music.

Either way, she’s showing off her body, because she’s not stupid and realizes that her body is her number one talent…The topless bikini scene is worth pausing…..lyrics like “you’re my baby love, you make the sun come up on a cloudy day” is just too deep for me to grasp (yes I turned on the volume) but tits and ass, I understand.


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Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in Her Music Video
Nicole Scherzinger at Some Event Pictures
Pussycat Doll Pussy(cat) Cleavage Pictures
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Posted in:Bikini|Music Video|Nicole Sherzinger|Panties|Pussycat Doll|Topless|Unsorted