Lindsay Lohan Archives - Page 35 of 51 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan Slowly Dying of the Day

So Lindsay Lohan went out shopping yesterday with her skinny fucking legs. If you’re wondering why I am posting these irrelevant pictures, it’s because I’ve decided to become a documentarian. If you’re wondering what I am trying to document, it is her obvious impending death. I figure I’ll just do it one post at a time eventually hitting the fuckin’ gold.

So in these pictures, you’ll notice that she has a cigarette in her hand. You’d think that the nicotine would constrict her blood vessels and increase her blood pressure enough to put her heart into shock, leading to her last puff being her last breath, but she manages to power through the shit without passing the fuck out and convulsing on the ground. I guess the rumors are true and she is a fucking cockroach…Maybe next time our documentary will conclude, but I’m sure she’s got a few more weeks in her. Stay tuned.

Guess what, Lohan and Ronson flew into the UK last night. Isn’t it exciting knowing that maybe, just maybe, their plane will crash on the flight home, ideally with only one fatality. I’m talking to you Lohan, or she could always just stay overseas, but I don’t see much fun in that, unless she got kidnapped by Terrorists and left in the desert when they realized her vagina was not good enough to gang rape, you know with all the open sores, forcing them to go back to fuck their camels, and not worth the ransom money they thought she was worth, you know since their a solid 5 years behind when it comes to popculture there.

Posted in:Dying|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan Get McDonald’s of the Day

13 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan addressed concerns the public has because those topless pics I posted yesterday surfaced and she looks like death. Her people needed to do damage contro, so they sent her to pretend to get McDonald’s, because nothing says I am not a coked up, self destructive, girl with an eating disorder like pretending to eat the shittiest quality food out there. Good example for the kids, you cunt, I’d say you’re really the right thing to look up to, but remembered thatkids know who Lohan is anymore, she’s just a nobody. She deserves some love for this shitty performance.

The real confusing thing in all this is that asian/mexican/ethnic of somesort guy who sneaks out from behind the gate. Is he their laborer, is he their drug dealer, is her lohan’s sex slave she bought off some seedy website. I guess we’ll never know, because they’ll kill him before they let him open his mouth. That’s just how psycho’s do things.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|McDonalds

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan in Some Topless and Hungry Pics of the Day

18 Comments »

The photographer’s name is Hedi Slimane, I didn’t check out her site for her other work and I’m not too well versed in fashion photographer so I am not too sure if this she’s into doing concentration camp themed photoshoots or if taking pictures of dying patients in palliative care with Cancer or Aids, or even spending time on the streets with drug addicted heroin addicts sucking dick for their next fix, is her artistic vision, but I do know that Lohan, despite being topless looks like fucking shit. She’s the kind of skinny I don’t like and I am pretty understanding and accepting when it comes to skinny. I mean I’ve always been a fan of eating disorders and drug addiction, but something about Lohan just looks fucking wrong.

I understand why she’s crazy, why she’s delusional, why she’s gone out of her way to start beef with me, why she tells people I stalk her. It’s all because she’s not eating much more than Ronson’s pussy and a pile of heroin because I think this is much deeper an issue than just cocaine. She is going to die soon. I can tell.

It’s all part of her Heath Ledger strategy to get recognized as an actress, because she’s fucking crazy and hopes to be remembered because the world already forgets her and her great performances in movies like Herbie Fully Loaded. Let’s face it, she’s a fucking joke and if you were her, you’d be on drugs too.

Here are those pics.

That said, nice nipple.

On a side note – I love Twitter and sent this link, along with this message to Mike Lohan….

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

Posted in:Drug Addicted|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Feb

Three Irrelevant Sluts of the Day

5 Comments »

I had these three posts lined up and when looking at the pictures I realized I had nothing interesting to say about these sluts, because they are all pretty fucking irrelevant. One is some Chinese rich kid who has been in Playboy and has managed to have nipple slips at every single event she’s attended and I never really understood why she was even attending the events in the first place.

The other is a washed up child star who is pretending to be a lesbian while addicted to coke, delusional and looking more and more like she’s about to die as the days go on, but her tits manage to stay the same size because I guess they were right all along and she’s got implants, because it really is the only explanation. She’s been in two movies the last 3 years, her career is almost over and I guess she got a sympathy invite to some Oscar party because she’s still got celebrity, despite really only deserving AIDS.

The last is some Aussie with great tits, who has hard nipples, but who can’t be acknowledged as someone I want to fuck because she was engaged to a Good Charlotte brother because I guess in Australia, they were stars and she was a groupie even he didn’t respect enough to not cheat on. Meaning that she wasn’t even good enough for him and lets face it, he’s not really good enough for any vagina, not even fat chick vagina, that said, I’d still fuck her, but I would never respect her and I guess either will Hollywood because I haven’t seen her in anything worth seeing recently, may be a good time to head back to the Outback…but she did have a date with Russell Simmons this past weekend, so who knows…maybe I am wrong about this one…

And here are their pictures, because I am lazy and not gonna let good cropping and uploading go to fucking waste. Enjoy.

Sophie Monk….

Lindsay Lohan….

Posted in:Bai Ling|Irrelevant Sluts|Lindsay Lohan|Sophie Monk

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan and Her See Through Shirt Are Mean to the Paparazzi of the Day

3 Comments »

The rumor on the internet is that Lohan is out fucking some dude from Gossip Girl, you know paying him late night visits and all that bullshit and the media’s saying that Ronson is all shook up and for once it’s not from playing her favorite AC/DC song in her latest Bar Mitvah DJ set.

Big surprise, some spoiled brat, broken child star with no friends and serious daddy, who loved the cock, fucked a lot of cock and was known for being the resident Hollywood coked up, erratic slut, took a few months off to pretend she was a lesbian decided to go back to the dick…

But as far as I’m concerned, Lohan was never a lesbian, shit was all a publicity stunt. I have never seen them do much more than holding hands and every girl holds her best friend’s hand, it’s just girl behavior or fighting. They only started admitting they were together and loved each other when they realized it was getting them tons of coverage because the media likes homo drama, and they use Myspace and Facebook to let people know how in love they are. It’s a fucking joke.

They are just cocaine buddies who make each other feel better about not following their rehab stints because they are in it together and it’s too bad because Sam Ronson is a cool fucking person, she just needs to get that crazy Lohan stain on society out of her life, even if it means not seeing her awesome tits ever again.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Paparazzi|See Through

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan and Her See Through Shirt Shopping of the Day

6 Comments »

Lohan tells people I am her stalker. That makes me laugh because I never really bother with her because she’s pretty much useless to me, but if it makes her feel more important and it feeds her cocaine fueled insanity and paranoia, that’s ok with me, because anything that puts her over the edge is a good thing.

I wrote her this message on Facebook the other day, it’s not very funny but I am going to post it anyway.

why are you so crazy?

I met a bi-polar schizophrenic dude this weekend and he reminded me of you. He was erratic and grabbing random girl’s tits like a fucking mad man, he took a bite out of a cheese wheel and kept asking a 50 year old if her pussy still got wet. It was amazing, except for the fact that he wouldn’t leave the party, ended up angry and trying to choke out random people like he was Chris Brown. Dude was 30 and looked about 80, with sunken cheeks, ratty white hair, yellow eyes, and malnourished chain smoking body and a weathered face so he was easy to take outside. We named him Lohan.

Why do you always fight with ronson in public?

maybe you need to step the fuck back and realize you aren’t as important as you think you are, and those petty things you freak out about because you are crazy is fucking crazy and a waste of everyone’s time, even the publics’.

I get that you’re bored, you don’t work, you’re not really a lesbian and a drug addict, that shit is frustrating, but you are all kinds of angry and crazy and damaged and you need to take it down a fucking notch because it annoys me.

Lower the fucking intensity, smoke some weed or take some sedatives or something, move out of LA, move to a Villa in Mexico or Thailand or Costa Rica, live a simple life with a pool and the sun and fucking pineapples and coconuts and shit growing in your backyard and leave us alone.

You scare me, just the way you randomly communicate with me is fucking nuts, I can’t imagine what you’re like with people you actually do know, but I know that if you weren’t a second rate child star no one cares about, and lived a normal fucking life, acting the way you do would get you put the fuck away by now.

The only reason you have friends or people around you that let you get away with acting like a spoiled cunt is because you finance their fucking lives, they are on payroll and they need you to pay their mortgages or some shit. You are all alone.

Much love, the guy you think is your stalker,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

PS – You Looked amazing last night when I was hiding in your closet watching you take that massive coke shit. It almost got me hard.

That was stupid and I don’t know why I bothered, now here are some pictures of her filling to void shopping for her skinny ass in a see through shirt….whore….

BONUS – The Lohan and Ronson V Day Fight that forced them to cancel a very important club appearance….in Lohan’s Circus Tent of a Vagina….

Another Bonus – Lohan Checking Out Girls who Actually Work and Charlotte Ronson’s Fashion Show…..

An actual bonus….with some crazy cleavage pics because there’s nothing like a skinny girl with fat fucking tits….it’s defies nature and I freaks like that….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|See Through|Shopping

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan Continues to Personally Offend Me of the Day

2 Comments »

When I first moved out of Mexico I got pretty heavy into Punk Rock. I couldn’t really name all the bands I was listening to at the time, it was the 80s, and I have a pretty shitty memory, but I can remember listening to everything from The Misfits, to the Dead Kennedy’s, but my favorite band of them all was The Descendents. The last album I bought of theirs was Everything Sucks in the late-90s, I saw them in concert a bunch of times, I used to listen to their shit on repeat, I was a huge fan, I even met their guitar player on the street once and gave him props, something I never do because I don’t respect anyone and I am a fan of nothing, so seeing Lohan and her psycho personality disorder drug addicted body, even if she’s not wearing pants, just makes me fucking mad. I feel like she’s personally trying to get under my skin and piss me off, but at least we all know that the day her heart gives out on her is comin’ quicker than her skinny crazy self knows.

Posted in:Cunt|Lindsay Lohan|Offensive|Psycho

2009

Feb

Some Lohan Eratic Driving of the Day

16 Comments »

The funniest thing about this whole Rihanna thing isn’t that he lived up to racist stereotypes, or that my preconceived notions of dancers being fags, meanwhile this Chris Brown motherfucker choked Rihanna to the point of passing the fuck out and left bite marks like any real man who would, but is that it all went down in a rented Lambo and nothing screams ganster’s paradise like that shit.

Speaking of cars, here’s Lohan driving like an idiot because she has a vagina, thinks she’s invincible and has multiple personality disorder. I guess what I am trying to say is why couldn’t it have been Ronson choking out Lohan and threatening her life, I know they are busy sharing their lives and panties with each other so that won’t happen, but we all know this video would end better if it was one of those crazy car crashes you’d see on Fox in the 90s. You know, where the driver crashes into a bus full of children, I think that’d be a good end for her, almost poetic, you know since her dad stole her childhood, now she’s stolen the childhood of these kids..

Posted in:Driving|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan is a Crazy Homeless Person of the Day

3 Comments »

As Lindsay Lohan walks around with a paper bag filled with her clothes, I can’t help but be reminded of all the other homeless people I’ve met over the years. You know, the people who keep their life in a suitcase, and by suitcase I mean garbage bag, always ready to relocate the second the police raid their tent village or the building they are squatting in. You know, the kind of whore who is dirty, addicted, malnourished, diseased, desperate to get by and willing to do pretty much anything, from bondage, to rape fetish, to lesbian sex with other homeless whores, anything to make a dollar. They are always mentally unstable, then I realized that Lindsay Lohan is pretty much homeless, she just squat’s at Ronson’s house, according to Paris Hilton, she is diseased, I mean at least with herpes, she is an addict, only a closet case white collar one, she looks malnourished, she’s desperate enough to stage lesbianism despite loving dick as much as she does, but most importantly, she’s fucking psycho, the only thing separating her from the street corner is a bank account with a lot more money in it that you or I have and a celebrity that although undeserved, is there.

Here are some pictures of Lohan with Ronson, because a Lohan Picture is not complete unless her soulmate is in them…They even made a Disney Movie about that shit, you know it was called Lilo and Her Snatch or some shit.

Bonus the Lilo and Snatch Sex Tape…

Posted in:Crazy|Homeless|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Jan

Lohan and Ronson’s Myspace Ad Predicts the Future of the Day

1 Comment »

I was checking the obits today to see if anyone I know has passed on. I do it every couple of days, not because I plan on going to funerals, but because I just like knowing, especially when they are dudes I used to run around and get drunk and high with, because it reminds me that I’m next so I might as well update the site because it may all end soon.

Anyway, I get to the site and guess who is lookin’ back at me, fucking Lohan and Ronson advertising Myspace. Sure the whole thing was totally inappropriate, but I mean what kind of ads can you really run along a person’s death notice? But I just imagined kids logging on there to read the notes people are leaving their dead parent or sibling who died from childhood cancer, eyes filled with tears, ripped from the inside out with emotion, only to experience this journey with this lesbian fucking duo and I was offended.

Until I realized that it’s some weird psychic shit, that brings up so many questions. Is it their relationship that is about to die or is dead, is it because Lohan’s career is dead, or is it just a preview of what’s to come when Lindsay finally kills herself because dying will bring the notoriety she’s always wanted and her multiple personality/manic depression, her drug use and her starvation, will get the best, and that’s when I realized why the run such inappropriate ads, it’s to give the people hurting hope, hope of a brighter day to come and new beginnings, a hope of life going on without that loved one, a life without Lohan polluting it.

Posted in:Ali Lohan|death|Lindsay Lohan|Sam Ronson|Slut