Miley Cyrus Archives - Page 69 of 69 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Miley Cyrus Category

2008

Apr

Miley Cyrus’ Personal Pictures of the Day

I love how everyone calls me out for being a sick fuck for predicting that this bitch will grow up to be a slut. They think it’s so fucking twisted to think of a 15 year old being sexually active. I always tell them that it’s Oprah’s fault for getting the idea into my head when she had an episode on these 14 year old high school sex parties. In fact, Oprah is like my god and if that bitch can talk about 14 year olds licking assholes, I think I can too. It’s like she set the bar for me or some shit.

The point is that Miley Cyrus plays this whole girl of God innocent shit, that I know is a total lie and that whenever this bitch is at home alone with a guy watching teenage comedies, she’s the one who grabs his dick over his pants and begs for him to fuck her without a condom because she hasn’t got her period yet and can’t get pregnant…or she’s this wholesome Christian girl who bends the rules by putting cocks in her mouth and ass, keeping her vagina off limits but still finding ways to get off, like a recovering heroin addict who loves shooting up, so he’s taken to shooting coke instead of heroin because he doesn’t consider it really doing drugs because Heroin is that much more fun and cocaine is designer shit for rich girls. It’s like how you don’t think it’s gay to let your best friend give you a blowjob because he’s your buddy, you’re not putting a penis in your mouth and girls don’t really give you the time of day and you’re tired of jerking off.

The truth is when I see pictures like this, I know that I am right in thinking she’s a slut with too much money on her hand and that age doesn’t play any factor in that and I just realize that I was born in the wrong era, because when I was 15, girls weren’t even masturbating yet, they didn’t know what the fuck sex was and the occasional one who did was considered a slut and rightfully, because that bitch gave me Chlamydia.

Either way, here are the Hannah Montana, innocent teenage girl pictures, because according to the hate mail I get, she’s just a little girl with no sex drive, but according to the pictures, bitch looks like she’s ready for sex, loves male attention and she’s letting us know that in a few years, we’ll be seeing a lot more of her and that she’s yet another reason we should love Disney and their creepy producers for breeding these whores like a pimp at the bus station lookin’ for teenage runaways to work under him.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Personal Pictures|Slut

2008

Apr

Miley Cyrus Lesbian Fantasy of the Day

9 Comments »

I’ve seen other sites run a Lesbian Fantasy post where they throw up a picture of two hot chicks hanging out together at random events in some kind of photo op and I decided to jump on the bandwagon.

Here are some pictures of Miley Cyrus grabbing onto some chick who has luxurious fuckin’ hair. It is so glorious and coifed that I just can’t seem to take my eyes off her highlights. Sure she’s got a little facial hair going on but beggars can’t be fuckin’ choosers in this situation and with a scooping unbuttoned shirt, I can look past that shit. I love the gutterslut prison tattoos left on her hand as a memory of her shower scene lesbian gangbang with prison guards and the other rough lookin’ women, because I know that means she knows how to have a good time. I just wonder where Miley would meet this kind of woman, you’d think her parent’s and God wouldn’t approve,

I am surprised that they are out in public together, touching each other the way they are. You know if that was an older man with a 15 year old girl, the police would be up on that motherfucker in about a minute. I guess there’s a double standard when it’s an older woman with a younger girl, but the real issue is what goes on in the bedroom. I know that Miley is a girl of God and doesn’t let men up in her like she was Jamie Lynn Spears, but I was convinced she just took it in the ass instead. God doesn’t get mad if you technically stay a virgin, but I guess she’s taking that virginity shit serious and instead just masturbates with older women. I guess it’s a lot more wholesome and pure.

Yeah, I can admit that this post totally bombed. I slept 3 hours, I am sick and making excuses for this disaster of a post.

Posted in:Billy Ray Cyrus|Lesbian Fantasy|Miley Cyrus

2008

Apr

Miley Cyrus is an Annoying Cunt of the Day

18 Comments »

Here’s a shitty fucking introduction to a Miley Cyrus performance at some Idol Charity Event that I can only assume happened because the show had a few minutes to kill and this is the only concept they came up with last minute and figured it’d be easy to execute since Billy Crystal had nothing else to do and hasn’t had anything to do in the last 5 years.

Basically the core of this comedic genius, is that they are playing up that Billy Crystal has no idea who she is and gets her name wrong and offers her career advice in some kind of shitty irony that makes stupid people laugh. All it really did was give her a great opportunity for to brag about her accomplishments as a number 1 movie as having to 2 number one albums all by the time she’s 15. I guess this proves that she’s the number one fifteen year old cunt out there and I don’t mean that she is best 15 year old pussy out of all the 15 year old pussies, I mean that she just thinks she is and that’s the whole fuckin’ problem with this bitch. The good news is that reality has a way of taking little assholes off their thrown and I am not sure when it will happen, but know that it will and that brings me satisfaction.

Here She Is Performing Her Bad Song Badly

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2008

Apr

Miley Cyrus Showing Off Her Teenage Legs of the Day

9 Comments »

I guess one of the good things about 15 year old girls is that they don’t have cellulite like they will when they actually become women, but they are so annoying when all they want to watch is Hannah Montana reruns, especially when they are Hannah Montana.

I don’t find anything appealing about these pictures, other than knowing that bitch is probably the next in line for an abortion at the on studio abortion clinic they are rockin’ over at Disney and this bitch and her crooked smile don’t have shit on the 15 year old girls I see out in clubs dancing on the bar like they were 25 and lookin’ for a one night stand because I was out at a bar this past weekend and this girl with braces walks up to the girl next to me and brags about how she got into the club and didn’t get carded, I turn to her and ask how old she is and she says 13 and runs off to a group of 16 year old dudes who pour Grey Goose down her throat and get her to flash them her panties and I realize that I was born in the wrong generation and Paris Hilton deserves a little more credit that she’s getting for breeding a generation of herpes by 14 that I won’t be a part of because I’m just too damn old and will just have to accept the fact that it’s yet another thing I’ve missed out on in my life which is just another example of how Paris Hilton contributed to my miserable life…..

Posted in:Legs|Miley Cyrus|Short Skirt

2008

Mar

Miley Cyrus Goes to Church on Easter of the Day

9 Comments »

Miley Cyrus goes to church on Easter and these are the pictures. I am not sure if the blonde chick is her mom, but I remember seeing her mom in an interview once and it made me want to see the Billy Ray sex tape…but the truth is that I’ve always wanted to see a Billy Ray sex tape. That Achy Breaky Heart tune really spoke to me and I feel the only way I can appreciate it is if I see him hate fuckin’ a bitch after she tells his Achy Breaky heart and it turns out that Billy Ray was right and it just doesn’t understand and does blow up and kill a man…all over her face….right before she wiped it off and put it in a jar in her fridge in the event her aspiring country singin’ lover ever accidentally hit big and that is the story of how Miley came about…

Either way, I wonder what god is going to think of this good little Disney Christian when he finds out that Miley found a loophole and let’s dudes fuck her up the ass because that way she can still technically keep her virginity until marriage since that’s what the church wants out of her. I am sure he’ll be a lot less disappointed that when she realizes that church is a lot less fun than fucking, doing coke and being a total cunt to the world while spending absurd amounts of money on useless shit while the rest of God’s people are dying of starvation.

Posted in:Church|Easter|Miley Cyrus

2008

Feb

Miley Cyrus Does Leno of the Day

7 Comments »

Looks like Miley Cyrus got to stay up past her bedtime to make an appearance on Leno, but she was accompanied by her dad, because she’s a minor. I wonder if she’s accompanied by her dad in your sick sexual fantasies that you have of her. I wouldn’t be surprised, but that’s just because you were at his concert in ’93 front row doin’ the achy breaky dance…..wishing you could have the allure and charisma and tallent of Billy Ray….

Either way, I watched the interview and I think she treats her dad like shit. Maybe she knows that he was a big joke in the 90s but for some reason all the factory workin’ women in our nation wanted his dick, or maybe she’s just a product of the generation of self serving, materialistic, obnoxious, wise beyond their teenage years because of shows like the OC and Degrassi, suckin’ dick at 12, doin’ anal at 14, makin’ sex tapes at 14 and a Half like they were paris hilton. Or maybe she’s just a spoiled cunt who needs daddy to lay down the achy breaky law, because you know a molested or abused chick would never act up like this…..

But I guess none of that matters, this Hannah Montanna shit is so bringing in the money hard, let the meal ticket make fun of him all she wants, because he’s got power of attorney over that shit….and the Nazi secret society at Disney don’t like bruises on the girls they exploit……

Bonus: The Interview – If you can really consider that a bonus:

Another Bonus – Miley Cyrus Eats Ketchup Like She’s Poor

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
GO

Posted in:Brat|Leno|Miley Cyrus|Spoiled

2008

Feb

Hayden Panettiere and Her Strong Man Cleavage of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Hayden Panettiere at some Randy Jackson Event showing off her strong man tits. I am all for girls with small tits, just not a huge fan of those small tits lookin like the bouncer who kicked me out of the bar this past weekend because she spends too much time lifting heavy objects, like to fridge and small cars…..

I feel like fucking Hayden would be like fucking my wife. Sure, my wife is the complete opposite of Panettiere, being fat and scary instead of being muscular and scary, but the outcome is the same. Every time you crawl in bed with either of them you feeling like you’re either getting into the ring with someone way bigger than you who is going to kick your fuckin’ ass until you cum, or even like you’re rockin’ a red jump suit and you’re up against a bull who is staring you down with it’s big fuckin’ head and it’s not going to let you off too easily.

That said, she’s hanging with Miley Cyrus and that reminds me of some kind of summer camp reunion and that probably turns you on, you’re just a little pissed off that Hayden is 18 now and that’s because you’re a creep.

Posted in:Cleave|Hayden Panettiere|Miley Cyrus|Muscles|Pecs

2008

Feb

Miley Cyrus Wears a Bra of the Day

10 Comments »

Miley Cyrus is taking over the world and it’s not with her big tits, it’s with her stupid lyrics and her country all american trash twang and here she is in a see-through shirt showing off her bra. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with today’s youth but it’s freaking me out. First the little Spears gets knocked up which usually means she’s fucking and letting dudes bust in her and the most recent rumor is that she’s offering her pussy up to other dudes now because she’s already pregnant and can’t get pregnant again and now Miley Cyrus is wearing a bra like she’s some kind of adult. I wonder if her dad approved of this or if he’s too busy in the basement trying to sort out another song to break free from being a one hit wonder with obnoxious hair.

I guess girls just wanna grow the fuck before their time and I know that you may not be complaining now while you anxiously await their sex tapes and nude pictures to hit while chatting up 15 year olds on Myspace hoping they fall in love with you and come visit you when they turn 18, like planting your seed, but wait until you have a daughter and she starts suckin’ dick in preschool because that’s the route we’re taking, I doubt you’ll be that into it, but then again I wouldn’t put it past you because based on the kind of readers I have, you are probably the one who taught her that trick. You sick fuck.

I guess the good news is that you’re the kind of guy no bitch would let knock up, not even the crazy fucking girls who just want anyone to knock them up and take it so far as to ask the homeless dude down the street for a sperm sample stay the fuck away from you and that’s probably a good thing for humanity….we don’t want more of you running around.

Point of this post is to say that I don’t find Miley all that good lookin’, sure she’s still a kid but you can tell by her teeth she’s going to stay pretty busted. I am interested in meeting her best friend Lesley, because I hear her name over and over in that stupid song so Lesley be my Valentine you are already such an integral part of my radio listening. That’s the end of this post. I know… FINALLY.

Posted in:Bra|Miley Cyrus|See Through

2007

Sep

I am – Miley Cyrus is Pregnant of the Day

2 Comments »

So a little life lesson for all you teenagers or parents of teenagers out there is that if you or your daughter dresses like this in public it’s just a matter of time before you’ll be driving her to the STD clinic and the Abortion Clinic because no matter what people say, suggestive clothing breeds slutty girls and more and more girls are dressing sluttier and sluttier every year, which is good on the eyes but also good for Abortion Clinic doctors and Birth Control Pill Manufacturers….

Miley Cyrus is reportedly knocked up and keeping the baby, she is 15 years old and although 15 year old pregnant chicks is a scary fucking thought, I don’t think that it’s trashy. When I was 15, I was fucking without condoms on or birth control pills. Shit just felt good and I was too excited to bust not to bother thinking of the consequences. Reality is that I couldn’t really have ever knocked up the women I was involved with though, because they hadn’t gotten their periods yet or they were already too old to get pregnant. I kinda like rollin’ on both ends of the spectrum….

Either way, like a good Christian country girl, she is going to keep it and I say that if God made her fertile enough to get pregnant in the first place, then she’s obviously got no choice in the matter. I was sitting on a park bench the other day and I saw a group of 15 year old girls playing with a ball. I thought to myself for a split second that these girls have gone through the bulk of puberty. There bodies won’t be changing all that much more, they have their tits, they have their hips, they have their periods, but they still like playing with balls in the park….meaning sometimes your body moves a little quicker than your brain does, let’s just call this one of those moments…because having a baby is going to suck for her. I can safely say that Billy Ray and his Achy Breaky Heart will be the acting parent in the situation.

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