Miley Cyrus Archives - Page 66 of 69 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Miley Cyrus Category

2009

Jan

Some Wholesome Miley Cyrus Riding Her Bike of the Day

Here is a video of the Cyrus family because I feel like death and figure I might as well make you suffer with me.

I like how she plays the wholesome thing riding the bike with her friends, like she doesn’t get drunk and ride her friends like they were a bike seat without a seat when no one is looking.

I like that when she sees her boyfriend they give each other the “pound” with their fists instead of grabbing him by the balls like she does when no one is looking.

I like how this 21 year old has to pretend he’s fucking 15 to make their creepy union seem less creepy. It’s like watching a pedophile workin’ the easy bake oven at the toy store, if you know what I mean. Sure older people take bike rides, but you can tell this dude would rather be out gambling drinking and doing anything but riding his bike like a teenage girl on her way to the mall, but I guess it’s a small price to pay for his career.

Either way, she’s at that awkward crossroads age where her hormones want dick but society and her publicist want her to stay 13 forever because it makes them all lots of money because apparently playing Hannah Montana when she’s 30 will be creepy as fuck.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Wholesome

2009

Jan

Miley Cyrus in Some Ripped Pantyhose of the Day

3 Comments

Miley Cyrus is really taking this teenage slut thing seriously. Here she is wearing a pair of pantyhose you’d expect to find on a dead hooker found in an alley in the seedy part of town after she was raped and killed, or even in a field an hour out of town for the more nature loving whore killers. Or maybe even something you’d see on a crackwhore who is on day 5 of a serious bender that’s left her curled up in the corner of a charge by the hour motel room, unshowered, in the same clothes she came in on, crying in the corner alone, but it’s definitely not something you’d expect a 15 year old to be wearing as if to advertise how her 21 year old ravages her so aggressively because the passion is so high that she can’t keep a pair of pantyhose for more than a couple hours before the crotch is ripped out and his fingers are scratching a record like he was Sam Ronson on her box, but I am probably jumping to conclusions, she probably got them at Hot Topic and they are probably part of the Perez Hilton clothing collection and her older fame hunting boyfriend is gay and just with her for the publicity knowing that she’ll never try to bang him since she’s a good little Christian who is totally sexually satisfied thanks to the execs at Disney. Sure, talking about a 15 year old sexually is considered wrong, maybe even illegal in the US, but I like to look at it as a practice that created your great culture…without pregnant 15 year olds in the 1600s, none of you white folk would be eating your McDonald’s or drinking your Coca Cola today, so hating on me for talking about a 15 year old having sex is like a black person hating on slavery, that shit just doesn’t happen….oh wait…maybe I’m wrong about that….but what I am not wrong about is that when I was 15 I was fucking and I’m sure you were too, and if you weren’t you would have been, if you found a girl retarded enough to let you, I’m talking Down’s Syndrome retarded not bad judgement retarded, because those in helmets usually have low standards. I think that’s enough of this post.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Pantyhose|Ripped|Slut

2008

Dec

Miley Cyrus and Her Really Ugly Sister are Hipster Poser Trash of the Day

18 Comments

There are a few problems with these pictures of Miley Cyrus and her sister walking down the street.

Firstly, they have secured something I’ve always been saying and that is that Urban Outfitters is some try hard hipster shit, and anything with the name Urban in it is a lie designed for suburban people willing to spend 100 dollars on a shirt they got at some homeless shelter, not that I shop or that I care, but whenever I walk by the shit and shit these tight jean wearing euro-trash in their high tops I get mad and I really don’t know why but little things piss me off.

Secondly, Miley’s sister in her ironic hipster bullshit attitude is wearing a vintage Mickey Mouse shirt, because Mickey Mouse is paying for their shit, because everyone knows that Billy Ray’s got no more money left from Achy Breaky Heart because he used it to buy his wife and fuel his cocaine addiction.

Lastly, take a look at this girls face, she’s an ugly version of an ugly Miley and it’s scaring the fucking shit out of me. The real question is whether she will ever find love lookin’ like the bottom of a homeless man’s rotten shoe. I didn’t know Miley even had a fucking sister and I guess if I was Miley, I’d keep this bitch locked away in the basement and as far from the spotlight as possible too because she’s embarrassing to admit you’re related to and like most retarded siblings, you’d want to protect them from the negative attention they will bring to you and your inflated career.

Either way, with a face like that, she’s pretty much got no choice but to pull that hipster, indy rock, electro, LA, art fag bullshit because for some reason hipster, indy rock, electro, LA, art fag bullshit guys are bisexual and more into a girl for her fake substance than her hot body, or hot face that you can look into without staring at awkwardly while laughing/crying/throwing up….and seem to think asymmetrical faces are as hype as asymmetrical hair….and that’s enough of this post…

Posted in:Hipster|Miley Cyrus|Trash

2008

Dec

Miley Cyrus Goes for a Drive of the Day

1 Comment

I realize why this Hollywood.tv shit is free to use YouTube paparazzi video, instead of the other paparazzi shit that is too expensive for my blood and I am not just saying that because I am poor, I am saying that because they are seriously not Wal Mart prices, because I guess they think they’re Hollywood and Hollywood is just on a whole other level of expensive. It’s because their shit may be exclusive enough and they may be getting out into the depths of Hollywood next to the TMZ people and the other assholes who run paparazzi companies but their videos are always missing a little fuckin’ edginess.

Take this video of freshly learner permitted Miley Cyrus driving her Toyota SUV Crossover that she probably got for free from Toyota as a training car before getting a real car, there is not one single frame in the video where you actually see Miley Cyrus driving at all. All you see is a car driving and pulling into a fucking house making me wonder why the fuck am I watching a Miley Cyrus driving her Toyota SUV video in the first fucking place, but in my defense, I hate this bitch and only did it in hopes of seeing her drive off a fuckin’ cliff…I guess we can only wait until she gets her real license and does a little drinking and driving on her own, so let’s just hope she doesn’t listen to all her advisors, and realizes the faster she drives and the more she drinks, the more exhilerating the rush is…….especially on really badly lit winding roads….

Posted in:Driver|Miley Cyrus

2008

Nov

Miley Cyrus is Wholesome with Her Boyfriend of the Day

6 Comments

The only thing that isn’t wholesome about Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend going on a bike ride to grab an ice cream or a milkshake is knowing that she’s going to be spread out over her bed with this fame hungry using model’s dick trying to find the remnants of cookie dough still in her stomach because they do it in the bum, Jesus approves because they stay virginal, and Fame Fucker can handle it because the dirty shit dick gives him psychological serenity and lets him feel like he’s not letting his homo brethren down…

We all know what you’re up to Justin…because no one in their right mind would hang out with this annoying crazy bitch…without incentive….

Posted in:Fame Whore|Miley Cyrus

2008

Nov

Miley Cyrus is an Excited Teenage Slut of the Day

1 Comment

Miley Cyrus gets all excited about her fame fucking boyfriend, the one who is modeling for Ed Hardy fashion shows and who is an aspiring singer and when Ellen asks her about it, her reaction is so annoying, awkward and obvious, that there’s no way these fag doesn’t fuck her in the ass because it makes him feel like he’s not straying to far from his gay roots and selling himself out to get a career by having to have sex with a 15 year old girl.

Either way, I figured you’d like excitable teenage girls, especially when they are all riled up because they feel tingles in their vaginas as their hormones pour into their Mickey Mouse panties….I just find it irritating because with a laugh like that she sounds like something you’d find in a stable…..

On a side note here’s a video of her dad getting interviewed by the paparazzi yesterday or the day before….listening to their amazing contribution to the video …”For Real?”, “By he-self”, fucking immigrant pieces of shit trying to steal my motherfucking money….

Posted in:Excited|Miley Cyrus

2008

Oct

Miley Cyrus’ Male Model Boyfriend is a Sister of the Day

2 Comments

Since I first heard about Miley dating some 20 year old underwear model, I assumed the obvious and that was that the dude was gay, lookin’ for exposure like he was Chris Crocker, only more innovative than Chris Crocker because he actally got hooked in with the biggest thing in entertainment right now, at least I hear that’s why Miley calls herself to her parents when they ground her for being in passed her curfew.

There was never a doubt in my mind that this dude actually liked penis, I knew he was a flaming based on his job as an underwear model and the ripple of his abs, that only a gay man would care enough to create, by spending a ton of time at the gym, because the gym is the best place to go see cock in the showers, and I figure that it was important to get it out there, because I’ve been slamming Miley for being a whore all this time, when in reality the only dick she’s been sucking has been in her sexual fantasies, as this motherfucker’s consistently been turning her down, and to think it was because he liked cock and not because he was scared of your really bad fucking teeth and inexperience damaging his money maker.

I don’t want to spend too much time on this, because who really cares….unless of course you’re like me and spend a good part of your day trying to figure out if Miley still has her cherry or if shit’s been popped.

To see the rest of his gay escapade and read the story….
GO

Posted in:Boyfriend|Gay|Miley Cyrus

2008

Oct

Heidi Klum Almost Has an Upskirt While Miley Watches of the Day

12 Comments

Here’s a pretty bananas picture that could have ended a lot better of Heidi Klum almost having an upskirt at some fashion show where Miley Cyrus anxiously awaits her boyfriend to come out on stage so that she can really feel like her decision to give him her cherry was the right one because he’s so desirable that he’s on the fucking runway and she’s his personal groupie who not only fucks him on command and buys him the shit he wants, but also shoots his name onto the Marquee that is relevant celebrity boyfriends, making him a household name and a heart throb to teenage Miley fans everywhere in hopes of it opening new doors and new opportunities for him.

So this could have been a lot better if she was showing some pussy lip or panty and if Miley was fingerbanging her while Seal peed on them like he was R. Kelly at a Junior High….but maybe that’s too much to ask, I mean I remember the time I pissed on my wife thinking it would add some excitement to our lives and instead it just made her cry, because he was watching TV and I surpriseed her from behind, leaving me unaroused and feeling like I had failed, never exploring golden showers again, meaning it’s really only for a select few and finding those people isn’t always easy, it’s not just something people do on the first date, unless you’re paying them, so thinking these starlets would get in on something like that is totally far fetched….

To See The Rest of the Pictures Go To TheCobraSnake

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Miley Cyrus|Upskirt

2008

Oct

Miley Cyrus’ Boyfriends Gives Her a Little Ice Cream of the Day

2 Comments

Tuesday night, Miley Cyrus went to do a staged candid photoshoot at a Milkshake joint owned by a Paparazzi and I posted the video of Billy Ray Cyrus feeding Miley her ice cream yesterday.

What I didn’t realize is that she was there with her 20 year old boyfriend, doing normal 16 year old girl things like going to the ice cream parlor getting some milkshakes, before she can bring her milkshake, that she’s been practicing on all the suits over at Disney, to the backseat and to good use on 20 year old fame fuckers. So as he feeds her like she is his little baby, and she takes it in, not realizing he’s got other plans for her to take things in later that night, but the statutory rape only starts after they sit around talking about boys, music and shopping while doing each other’s hair for a couple hours, so it’s not as predatorial as you may think. I hear next week, he’s going to teach her how to drive stick, if you know what I mean and in his defense, I am still trying to have sex with sixteen year old girls, that’s why I applied for a job at a driving school a few months ago, but I didn’t get it because having sex with sixteen year old girls is the wrong answer when they ask you why you want the job.

Update: Here’s a Video of Annoyingly Useless and Far Too Rich and Relevant Miley Cyrus Watching Her Model Boyfriend at the Ed Hardy Fashion Show, It turns out they were eating Non-Fat Frozen Yogurt, because they are both little girls…Just look how smitten Miley gets when he prances around on stage, if you listen hard enough, you can hear her ovary drop, I think she’s primed and ready….

Posted in:Boyfriend|Ice Cream|Miley Cyrus|Slut

2008

Oct

Miley Cyrus Gets Fed The Miley Shake By Her Dad and Causes a Riot of the Day

1 Comment

Miley Cyrus launches new shake at Millions of Milkshakes

So it turns out that the Hollywood.tv people who have been delivering FREE celebrity videos the last little while and who I have been stealing videos from to mask as my own content are owned by some rich brown dude from London, who owned a Hollywood style 24 hour Diner that made him enough money to move to LA in hopes of starting one here, but instead got wrapped up in following celebrities around, befriending them and giving them exposure on that youtube site, only to allow him to open up an LA location, but now with high profile appearances an Milkshakes named after them.

This video is of Miley Cyrus trying her milkshake and stirring up a whole lot of chaos, but I think the people aren’t so much excited to see her, but concerned as to why Billy Ray Cyrus is feeding her whip cream like he is her lover and they are the stars of some really bad softcore porn. Keep your penis in your pants Cyrus, you aren’t in whatever hick town you’re from where you think that because you made her, she’s yours to do what you want with….save that erotica for the executives at Disney, at least they’re filling up her bank account everytime they fill up her asshole with their fingers and tongues….you’ve had enough of a free fuckin’ ride motherfucker….now start acting like her fuckin’ father and stop trying to get in her pants…You sick fuck.

I don’t really know what I’m talkin’ about, it happens, pretty much everyday.

Posted in:Incest|Miley Cyrus|Miley Shake