SFW Archives - Page 1077 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

11

Sep

Katy Perry Panty Flash of the Day

Katy Perry posted a panty flash on her instagram with a fetish dude…and it was not very magical because I couldn’t zoom in and see stray public hairs or the definition of her vaginal lips or even the gunt of fat about her pussy that usually moms in their 40s get, but that Katy Perry has managed to pull off due to her awkward dancing and need to keep her tits since it’s all people care about when it comes to her…

I know, shocking, you’d think “I kissed a girl” was worthy of being forever immortalized in a stone monument somewhere for it’s genius catchy lyrics in a time of early lesbianism….you know a real cultural moment…and not just candy coated garbage pop…

I don’t hate Katy Perry. She’s lovely..I just like calling her fat.

Posted in:Katy Perry|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Ashley Benson in a Bikini of the Day

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People actually sent me hate for calling Ashley Benson a doughy overweight celebrity, who is mainstream hipster rather than edgy hipster, and just very representative of the girls I see out and about these days, all in crop tops, all with big legs and asses and hips, in what I just assume is laziness and hormones in the food…

I think it’s safe to say, not just based on her tits, that I am right that she’s a solid 15 lbs over weight, and it’s not a bad thing to be soft, and magical, because sometimes we need soft and magical for great tits..

I also think a picture probably describes all this 15 lbs overweight far better than I can…and keep in mind haters, I just think celebrities have a certain image to uphold to inspire healthy and fit lives, I fuck girls 100s of pounds overweight if they let me, and it’s not even a fetish, I just take what I can get..

All this to say…I’m a fan….

TO SEE MORE ASHLEY BENSON IN A BIKINI PICS CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER FRIEND AND COSTAR SHAY MITCHELL IN A BIKINI CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER FRIEND AND COSTAR LUCY HALE IN S CROP TOP – NOT THAT ANYONE WOULD WANT TO SEE THAT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Beyonce Big Tits Sally on a Boat of the Day

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Beyonce is on some sort of aggressive marketing campaign..

THe other day she did flaunt..

Then the story of Jay Z and her breaking up came out…

Then the story of them being kicked out of their 150,000 dollar a month house because they didn’t want to buy it came out…

Then Jay Z in a hood singing her lyrics to her song at a concert came out…

And I know all this….without every having looked up Beyonce news, it just sort of happens on social media…and the fact that I knew all this terrifies me…

But not as much as Beyonce, on Beyonce, talking about Beyonce, while showing off Beyonce because Beyonce does…

ANd her are her tits…on a boat

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Beyonce|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Edgy Hipster Miley Cyrus Instagram Analysis of the Day

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Miley Cyrus as you know is an “Edgy” hipster…even though hipsters don’t really exist, and she’s just part of this drugged up, don’t give a fuck because we put everything on the internet, just being ourselves, sometimes shocking, often times with lots of colors, and genitals, and nipples…because it’s fun to be weird…in this internet generation that I can’t imagine ending bad…until it becomes ultra him to turn your back to social media, going back to a simpler time of reading and movies, which I think can happen, every time I see a hipster with a flip phone with no data plan, until seeing them pull out their iphone to update their tumblr / insta / snap …because they are all their own TV show, content producing assholes I hate…and think should die…and I guess Miley is exploiting that…making money off it…while actual hipsters just live off the trust fund their dad set up for them…

Will they one day teach Miley Cyrus in Art School? Is instagram an art…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Kate Upton at the Barn of the Day

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Plus sized model, who sexts her boyfriend, who she loves so much, even though he sexts other girls, because we saw his phone hack, and we got a glimpse into his on the road behavior, probably fueled by tinder,and being a pro-athlete, coupled with having a fat, sloppy tit, overrated, but famous as fuck girlfriend, who is better on paper, in viral videos and photoshoots, than in life…but she allows his antics because she’s a broken rich girl, and they turn a blind eye to boys being boys, in a world where people just want her tits…her big sloppy tits…even dogs…because she’s just that fertile lookin’…that other species get sucked in…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

11

Sep

James Franco Has Sex With Himself of the Day

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Breaking Sex…

AOL is working on being relevant by creating or hiring famous people to produce video content for them, in what I assume they probably spent 1,000,000 dollars on, even though production of this is probably 10,000 dollars at the most, but whatever, they put together the mash-up video that is destined to go viral because it features James Franco, it’s merges two popular shows, and it involves Franco Fucking himself in weirdness.

I don’t really love where the world is going, but I’m glad the internet happened to really understand how fucking weird the general public is..in what they like..

Posted in:James Franco|SFW

2015

10

Sep

Hilary Duff Solid in a Bikini of the Day

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Hilary Duff is thick as fuck…..and she’s in a bikini, rocking what I assume is fake tits, but who cares all tits are tits, that’s the beauty of tits…

It’s just like a recently divorced, rich as fuck, child star, turned mom, to go out there half naked for her very loyal fucking fans…the ind of fans you’d want a retraining order against, to feel like she’s still got it…

And as someone who calls skinny girls fat, to piss off fat girls who are fat, and skinny girls who aren’t as skinny as the girl I call fat, I will say she’s looking strong, the kind of strong I’d want to wrestle, Ideally getting a headlock between her thighs, where she makes me head explode like a watermelon, because after experiencing that, I’d have lived enough, seen all I needed to see, ready to throw in the towel..

And I’m not even a Hilary Duff or a sturdy girl fan…but for some reason, I reason I call morbidly obese wife, I am right now…

TO SEE HILARY DUFF IN A BIKINI and LOOKING HOT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2015

10

Sep

Isabeli Fontana for Maxim of the Day

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Isabeli Fontana is in Maxim, despite being 100 years old…is still amazing.

She’s one of the first Brazlian models abducted by the team at Victoria’s Secret, offering her the dream they sell these people with, that actually end up working out for most of them…

She’s also one of the last underage girls to pose in her underwear for Victoria’s Secret because they abducted her when she was 16….

She’s done all kinds of modeling, all while being busty, which is a good thing because we like tits..

She’s also got kids, she’s been married a few times to rich guys, she was recently engaged to one of Bob Marley’s many sons until recently, and now she’s doing Maxim…all busty…which is a good thing because we like tits…

The previous owners of Maxim were a bunch of lawyer assholes who emailed me everytime I’d post their picture, even when the pics were found on instagram, but they apparently sold their pile of shit, relevant in the 90s, magazine to some young Texan rich dude in his 30s, so let’s hope he’s not as fucking lame and useless as them, which based on the pics he’s pulled together since buying the magazine,using real models and photographers, he’s not…

Posted in:Isabeli Fontana|SFW

2015

10

Sep

Kaley Cuoco’s Tan Lines and Butt Shot of the Day

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Kaley Cuoco rockin’ a tan line for Shape Magazine in a behind the scenes photo that doesn’t matter, unless you’re into tan lines..which apparently people are…because I’ve know strippers, so many strippers, through many decades of my life, so that I’ve got a good sense of what they think looks hot enough under the black lights to land a lap dance, and the one constant, other than herpes and the dream a prince charming will come in and save them is tan lines…I guess because it’s like naked but with underwear…without underwear getting in the way…to really accentuate the genital region..with a “I hang out at the beach because I am healthy”…despite it being a “I hang out in a tanning bed in underwear because the place I go is sketchy and I’d hate to put my bare ass on it, which is saying a lot because i’m a stripper and I put my bare ass on everything for 10 dollars a song”…

Only unlike a stripper, Kaley Cuoco is a huge, definitely overrated, but cast on the right show, TV star making 100s of millions of dollars, something that is pretty nuts, until she brings the down to earth, look “I’m just like you” sexts and weird squats, in a not taking herself too seriously, because she doesn’t have to, she’s rich…kind of way..

Posted in:Kaley Cuoco|SFW

2015

10

Sep

Kylie Jenner’s Nipple Ring with Dog of the Day

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Kylie Jenner is so groomed in this industry…which is less of an industry, since they don’t actually work, but more of a marketing machine for other industries, all because of a sex tape that turned into a reality show…Thanks Ryan Seacrest…

That she knows how to show the world her nipple ring…without actually using a neon sign pointed at her nipple saying “I have a nipple ring that I like older men to suck on, like hungry babies trying to feed, only instead of milk, all he’s sucking out of that tit is relevance”…

She was 17 a week or two ago, your kids follow her on social media, millions and million of people…and she knows how to discreetly be slutty, because after he sister was blatantly slutty, they’ve figured out the system through trial and error…and here she is now…after trial and error…capable of such amazing things, yet she chooses to do this…

Good thing I like 18 year old nipple rings…

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

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