2017

Dec

Katy Perry Doing the Worm in a Skirt of the Day

If you needed a reason to not want to fuck Katy Perry…and I am sure some of you do, because she is seen as being hot in some circles, circles I don’t understand or ever want to be a part of, but circles none the less…in what I guess is some kind of sex cult level master mind manipulation tactics from her team – the Illuminati…and suckers get sucked into the LIE….

This is what she looks like when she’s riding the cock…just an bulky, awkward disaster of a woman, smashing pelvis into floors…

She’s doing the demo in a little plaid skirt, and even that isn’t hot…because Katy Perry isn’t hot..

That’s about all I need to say about that….I’ve said too much…

Posted in:Katy Perry|SFW|Videos

2017

04

Dec

Selena Gomez See Through to Tit of the Day

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Troll with the new Kidney Selena Gomez left the house with no bra on, because she’s a feminist and showing her nipple is empowering, especially after getting a second lease on life, you know it gives her something to fixate on, work towards, a reason to live, show the world what is likely a breast implant tit, because you want them talking about you, like a little hero who beat out nature’s plan for her, thanks to being rich and exploited by her family…to be the little earner that she is….

The Christmas Season is here, and this is a gift to all of us, the worst gift ever, I mean who cares about Selena Gomez tit on the grand scheme of things, but I’m sure people do, she is the most followed person on social media….

I like the 80s Blazer..it’s stylin.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2017

01

Dec

DrunkenStepfather’s Holiday Gift Guide of the Day

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Christmas is the most wonderful time of year, and I’ve decided to compile another annual Gift Guide because that’s just the kind of guy I am…helping you fucking peasants…find amazing gift ideas for you and yours…whoever that may be…maybe just for you…because I can’t imagine anyone loving your depressing ass enough to invite you to Christmas celebrations…
shad
If you have been reading the site, you’ll know I fucking love Christmas, I listhanden to Christmas songs all year round, I also let girls sit on my lap all year round and ask them if they’ve been naughty or nice…

So this post…is the post of the year…the most meaningful i’ve got…TAKE IT ALL IN…

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1-DRESS TO UNDRESS WITH TRENDY BUTLER

Our first gift idea is the gift of style, because anyone who is well dressed, unlike me, presents and packages themselves to the world as someone worth fucking or fucking with. It helps in business, in dating, in everything…and I may be unemployed, I may be a degenerate, I may wear sweatpants three sizes too small…but I know how important looking good is if you want to get what you want out of life…assuming what you want out of life is more than just herpes/booze, or other low level easy to acquire things like me…

This is a solid fucking gift for yourself…

New trendy outfits delivered to your door every month.
But don’t get too attached.
Get 50% off your first month! Enter Code DRESSME50 at checkout.

GET IT!!

Get yours now perfect for Christmas –
CLICK HERE

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2-TUSHY ASS CLEANER

I have the worst fucking hemorrhoids in the world, some days I can’t even walk, it’s been years of drinking, eating shit, and sitting on the fucking computer as a fat man…so I know the pain that is Toilet Paper…no matter how soft they get those chemical filled things…so I’m a shit and shower kind of guy…but I did used to bang some married chick who had a Bidet, prior to my Hemmies, and I used it and thought, nice an asshole shower…without a whole shower…Brilliant…

I’ve also seen and wanted Japanese Toilet seats forever, but they are unaffordable, so when this product landed in my inbox…it was a no brainer…

I am going to be buying everyone I know at least one of them…it’s the gift that keeps giving…everytime your friends take a shit they’ll be thinking of you….

Stop smearing sh*t around with toilet paper after taking a dump. The TUSHY butt wash will rinse away all those excess dingleberries with a precise stream of fresh water and clean your chocolate starfish, no matter how gnarly the poop. Treat yourself to a TUSHY butt wash. Get one for your bros for Christmas, bless your Great Aunt Miriam with a TUSHY for Hanukkah, and maybe even one for your girlfriend’s house for those massive dumps after holiday feasting. For only $69 and 10 minutes to install, any boring old toilet can be transformed into a pooper’s paradise. Seriously, wiping your ass with TP sucks. Snap a TUSHY on to any toilet and appreciate the magic of having a bidet butt-washing oasis only steps away. Aunt Miriam will thank you.

Stop wiping with toilet paper, start washing with TUSHY

Get yours now – It is Perfect for Christmas
CLICK HERE NOW

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Masturbator of the Month Club

A monthly package for his package, the gift that keeps coming, that keeps the cumming cumming…because we live in an era where jerking off is normal, there’s so much fucking porn out there and everyone is jerking off 4-5 times a day, when not fucking, because let’s face it, girls don’t like fucking you…and I am sure that applies to everyone you know…

This is not just a gift for your lonely on the holidays self, even your married friends who don’t want to fuck their wife, your dad who doesn’t want to fuck your mom and really any dude who wants to jerk off better with a drawer of jerk off tools, the monthly jerk off tool treat…will appreciate you…so make it happen today.

Get yours now perfect for Christmas –
CLICK HERE NOW!

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4-All Natural T Ras Rolling Co

Roll it up, all natural….because Each wrap is hand selected and inspected to ensure that it has all of the properties for a great roll, with a slow even burn every time. Handmade and all natural which makes each wrap is completely unique. These wraps provide a light airiness to your smoking with minimal to no taste…

Everyone and their grandmother smokes weed, so why not give them the healthy shit to roll it up and smoke it up with..

A great gift, a great stocking stuffer, a great time….

All Smokers who still like to actually smoke like they’re supposed to…will be into this…so get them what they want…see more at @TRASROLLINGCO

Get yours now perfect for Christmas –
CLICK HERE NOW!

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5-Shade Tree Sunglasses

Glasses to better see pussy with….I mean I say that because I am a voyeur and use sunglasses to hide where my eyes are actually staring…the pussy…and these glasses are amazing because they are made of wood for my wood…

It’s a fact that you can’t have enough glasses. Glasses make you look cool. Cool makes people want to fuck you. Think of any icon from any era, rockstar or celeb and they have sunglasses, sometimes they even wear them at night, or indoors…because sunglasses just make fucking sense..

So you should give anyone you like, anyone who needs a little cool in their life, some glasses like this, they’ll appreciate…

Just look at them, they are awesome…

Get yours now perfect for Christmas –
CLICK HERE NOW!

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6-Brooklyn Cloth

Brooklyn you go hard, or in this case soft, with some of the most comfy looking Christmas themed Jammies to rock out the entire holidays, or if you’re like me, your entire life…because I don’t remember the last time I wore pants that didn’t have an elastic waistband. Sure, there was a time where I thought not wearing jeans was really fucking trashy, like a homeless person, but then I outgrew those jeans and said fuck it…I choose comfort…

These guys don’t just do sweat pants, but since sweats are all I wear, that’s where I’d be looking, or what I’d be asking for as a gift…and that’s what I’ll be giving my damn self….

Get Yours Now It’s Perfect for Christmas !
CLICK HERE NOW!

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7-BULLET NECKLACE

Support your 2nd Ammendmant Rights…..

Anyone who is a human knows the beauty that is firearms, except maybe those pussy liberals who have never gone out there with their gun to shoot things, whether in the woods, or the desert, at a target or a clay pigeon…

I don’t hunt, I don’t kill, even if I think some people should be killed, but I know guns are fucking awesome, and bullets are power, so rock that on your neck or give it to your friend…it’s the less hippie approach to the shark tooth or piece sign…

Show off your balls people…

Get yours now perfect for Christmas –
CLICK HERE NOW!

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8- v4 Twenty

Don’t Smoke, Vape.

Weed is going to be legal in Canada in a few months, so get the head start on equipment to get high, because getting high, even when legal will be as fun as it’s always been.

I may not smoke weed, but everyone I know does, and I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t appreciate getting a premium vape product…to smoke like it’s the fucking future…since it is the fucking future…

I am a believer that anyone you get this for…will be happy enough to let you fuck their sister, let’s just hope you don’t gift your brother…figure that math out coal miner.

Get yours now perfect for Christmas –
CLICK HERE NOW!

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9- Vitamin Vape – The Vape with Vitamins

Inhale your Vitamin B…..I am an unhealthy fuck, and I know I would be happy to get a gift of health and good times bundled together, if I smoked that good good…

So give the gift to you or to yourself and take your fucking vitamins to stay alive longer…the right way…while smoking that good good…

Do not fall into the arms of the evil pharma companies who want you sick, dying, to make them money…you are their bottom line…

Get a boost of Vitamin B while doing what you love….Thrive while getting high..

This is the future of those Flintsone chewables…get it.

Get yours now perfect for Christmas –
CLICK HERE NOW!

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10 – TEST NEGATIVE ON DRUG PISS TEST

Get Clean Piss! Or give the gift of Clean Piss, because everyone’s got that brother, cousin, uncle, dad, skeleton in your closet that you don’t want your mom and dad to find out about, that comes from medicating the good good, despite what society wants you to be doing…so trick the fucking system if you can…TRICK IT…with this amazing product…tis the season for drug free piss…on your crackhead self…

Whether you want to help someone get on track, pass that job interview, not get kicked out of school, keep the parole officer happy, we all know someone who can use it…

Prime Stocking Stuff, Make dreams happen…

Get yours now perfect for Christmas –
CLICK HERE NOW!

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Posted in:Gift Guide|SFW|Xmas

2017

01

Dec

Selena Gomez in a Halter Top and Tight Pants of the Day

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Selena Gomez has a busted face, even with the injections, she looks like a weirdly developed clown, maybe it’s the childhood lupus, or maybe child stars don’t always age proper..they expire..but some just keep themselves alive by harvasting organs to keep things going…

I am not into this clown, or her push up bra and potential fake tits….but the world seems into her…because she’s the most followed instagram personality…thanks to tricking Zuckerberg into hooking her up because his Asiatic wife is into her…

I am into her having a drug overdose, or dying naturally, instead of keeping her personal brand going…the way her god, because she is Christian, intended…

This bio-hacking…makes her more entitled than ever….her ego…her going out there and putting herself out there in another cash grab …manipulating the media…garbage.

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2017

01

Dec

Hailee Steinfeld’s See Through Lace Pants Performing of the Day

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Hailee Steinfeld was once an underage actress I am sure at least one of you has masturbated to, mainly because you are perverts, but also because America made sexualizing her illegal, and everyone is drawn to what they aren’t allowed to do…or maybe men are just drawn to underage girls in some unhealthy, obsessive weird way…thinking they are fresh and untouched, even though girls get their periods at 4 years old now, and have sex by 8…with everyone in their class…all thanks to internet porn and hormones in the food…

But you don’t have to worry about that with this one anymore…she turned 18 a while ago…and has officially gone as sexy as she can….which required getting fit, easy cuz her dad is a personal trainer and wearing slutty outfits…

Here she is performing on stage because she’s a pop star now, you know to supplement her acting income, since song and dance is the dream for these idiots…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hailee Steinfeld|SFW

2017

01

Dec

Vanessa Hudgens in Some Fuck Me Boots of the Day

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High School Musical Vanessa Hudgens, who I assume has done some other bullshit, but who cares, I mean who even cares about High School musical…

She’s doing some activity with some fuck me boots on, she’s less pudgy than she once once, and looking better than she used to…

But I still prefer when she shows off her tits in leaked sexting pictures, that happened before it was a trend to be naked all day everyday on social media…when it was still exciting…when something like that kind of scandal dropped…..

She was an innovator, that is her legacy, and her bush…that they claim is underage bush…is the magical creature, while Hudgens is just the host body….

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens|Videos

2017

01

Dec

Sarah Hyland’s K-Fed of the Day

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Sarah Hyland is dating some dude who is too well dressed to be straight…

He’s also a “radio” personality, on some Disney Kid kick, that is likely trying to be the next Seacrest…

You know a cheesy, mainstream, accessible faggot with a dream….

They are in LA, and LA is the land of entitled idiots who think they have something to offer, like all the other people who are in LA….

But sometimes it requires locking in a celebrity chick with a huge following, who likely has emotional issues due to childhood trauma…a need to be loved…and once you get in with them, they are easy to seduce…you know make them laugh, take them out, easy target…and then cash the fuck in…you’ve been watching that famous girlfriend the entire time you’ve been in LA…dreams do come true…

Any dude who takes selfies and tries to get famous, is straight gay…and when I first saw this character on her feed he had 50k followers…but now he’s got 500k…worth going straight and ignoring a weird elf head for really…

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2017

01

Dec

Olivia Wilde in a Bathing Suit With Hard Nipples of the Day

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Olivia Wilde isn’t that hot, but people think she’s hot, so she thinks she’s hot…

A rich kid, who has made it in America, I think she may be American to begin with, I’m not sure what the family history of the COCKBURNS are…but I do know that there’s not way anyone as basic and boring as Olivia Wilde is making it anywhere without having financial backing….

She’s been in movies, she’s made money, her baby daddy makes money, so they can be on vacation…Not so interesting, but her nipples are hard….making her more interesting.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Olivia Wilde|SFW

2017

01

Dec

Emily Labowe Nude Shoots of the Day

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Her name is Emily Labowe …she sounds french and European and exciting or some shit and she’s the star of a shoot that looks like every other shoot – but in a world where I have decided as many people as I can in day who get naked or half naked for attention – I never get tired of old and tired things…not that Emily Labowe is old or tired, I have no idea what her deal is…not about to look it up, it’s friday and I have important things to do…like stare at her nudes, it’s all I need to know about her.

Posted in:Emily Labowe|SFW

2017

30

Nov

Halle Berry Bikini Booty from a Distance of the Day

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Halle Berry lives matter….and she’s black like Halle Berry…which isn’t black at all…you know since she was raised white, and the only black thing about her is that she never met her dad who was black….

She may have been called names growing up because she was the different one in her white highschool, like the fat chick she got teased, getting all insecure before going to Hollywood and living the rich famous girl life….she got for being accessible and white enough for producers to work with her in movies – to appear like they are diverse…

She has no idea what the plight of the black man is, yet she is marketed as though she does and the whole thing would offend me, like she was a racist – if she didn’t have some rockin tits, even in her old age….rockin tits.

This is her ass though, not so bad for a 100 year old, those Black GENES coming in handy, like they have so often for her…

Posted in:Halle Berry|SFW