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Archive for the Topless Category

2007

16

Aug

I am – Bianca Gascoigne's Fake Tits of the Day

bianca_gasgoine_tits_top.jpg

I heard that this bitch had fake tits and that she was the daughter or stepdaughter of some footballer who obviously has enough money to land a slut a decent pair of tits for her 16th birthday if he really wanted to, but by looking at the pictures these are probably the worst set of fake tits I’ve seen in a while.

Sure they aren’t as bad as this whore I used to fuck who had one of her implants explode causing her all kinds of fucking chronic pain and shit I didn’t care to hear her complain about because I was paying her for her time but the thing I was concerned with was the fact that the one that had ruptured was fucking purple and black and looked pretty fucking infected. I guess the story goes that you get what you pay for and she learnt that lesson by buying cheap tits and I learnt that lesson by hiring cheap whores.

Either way, I love what fake tits do to a girl. They make them crazy. It’s like all their life they’ve been insecure about being topless, about low cut shirts, about whether guys will like them or not and they have blamed their small tits for their unhappiness so the second they can walk out with their new tits, shit hits the fucking fan and they go nuts. It’s overcompensation and usually gives me a headache unless their overcompensation allows me to look and touch their new purchase…

I knew this girl who got implants who worked a normal job, she was a receptionist or some shit and made a decent living. She had a nice place to live and she had enough money to put aside 5,000 dollars for new tits because one tit was smaller than the other and it really made her feel like shit about herself. She ended up getting the new tits and within 3 months of it she was stripping and addicted to meth. True story and that’s all I have to say about this.



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Posted in:Bianca Gascoigne|Fake Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

09

Aug

I am – Britney Swims Topless of the Day

britpoolcloseup.jpg

So this is probably old news but it’s new to me because I didn’t log onto a computer for more than 5 minutes every couple of days to check emails and to learn that the only people who care about me are spammers. I barely got any emails asking me to come back to the site, I barely got emails telling me the site is amazing, I got no emails from people offering me money or sex, so a month vacation is long enough for me to know I am still a loser. So as a loser, I have no choice but to post some pictures of Britney swimming topless with some K-Fed motherfucker who I think is K-Fed.

The reality of this shit is that once you get pussy the first time, you’ve already done all the hard work and it’s easier to get it again rather than getting new pussy. In K-Fed’s case, it may not have been so hard to get Britney in the first place because she was this lonely retarded girl who had been devirginized by Timberlake and whose only friends were her dancers and as the only straight dancer, K-Fed had some major advantage in getting her cunt, knocking her up and setting up his retirement plan, but that’s not the point.

The point is that recycling pussy you’ve already landed is easier than landing more new pussy, especially for someone like you who has only landed the pussy of lonely broken down and abused chicks who hate themselves and use fucking as a way to make themselves feel wanted for the 2 minutes you last and sometimes finding them again is as easy as making a call, sending an email, driving down the block she worked before the drug overdose or showing up to pick up your kids for your monthly deadbeat dad visit that ends with you in the pool naked with the slut you knocked up.

The real issue is that I don’t know what I am saying, I am pretty jet lagged and refuse to re-read my posts. Cuddles.


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Posted in:Britney Spears|Swimming|Tit|Topless|Unsorted|Wet

2007

03

Aug

I am – Some Topless Model and Hating Life of the Day

Aida

So I spent the all of yesterday and pretty much all of the evening trying to get my computer fixed as at one point during the day, it just shut off. After taking it to a tech guy I was informed that not only did the hard drive die, but I lost everything on my computer. I spent the rest of the day trying sort out all the log in stuff for the site as well as borrowing a computer from a friend.
Some friends stopped by around midnight, and thankfully dragged me out for a booze and drug filled night until 6AM, which some say is irresponsible, but at this point I really don’t give a fuck. My life was on that computer and now it is gone. All this situation did was confirm to me what I have known all along. I hate this world and everything in it.

So here’s some topless pictures of some chick named Aida something-or-other. In the end her last name doesn’t matter because it bares no effect on your wanking fantasies and habits, and I am way to hungover and frustrated with this site to care.

Our photos can’t be hosted on our server right now, so bear with the bullshit ads on the side for today.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:Topless|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Amy Alexandra Topless of the Day

Amy Alexandra

My keeper (he’s been bankrolling my box) sent me alone on a weekend break from my paid vacation to LA. I spent it in San Diego because I like their beaches better than LA’s. Also, since I live in NY, I can’t afford to go to the Hamptons because sand and surf is for rich trust-fund fuckers and the cunts that spit them out, so San Diego was like a 48 hour beach-gasm.

I blacked out after getting drunk in the Gaslight District. I woke up in some blonde tattooed guy’s bed (not into blondes or tattoos). This happens alot. I patted myself on the back though because what i could see of his body was slender but toned and his face was cute. As I quietly gathered my clothes, I noticed a cape, helmet, and what can only be described as super-hero accessories in the corner.

Yeah… I fucked one of the virgin-basement dwellers in town for the Comic Convention. Good news for you: I might have fucked one of you readers. Bad news for you: by the time you get home, your mom will have turned your basement pad into a sewing room and moved your cum-stained mattress into the garage. You won’t care because you have a bunch of new shiny whatever-Man comics to read in between jacking off to these topless pictures of Amy Alexandra from UK Big Brother 8. Just don’t get your man-milk all over your new merchandise because it will decrease its value. No ebay buyer will want to pay $300 for your soiled comic book in 15 years.

Which ever one of you I fucked, kudos for breaking the mold: you were neither fat nor busted, rather svelt I might say. I don’t know how good you were, because I don’t remember.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Amy Alexandra|Big Brother|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

26

Jul

I am – Deelishes' Udders of the Day

Deelish

I am not excited about flying cross country to spend 5 days getting slammed by a former client’s old man meat for rent money, and writing for you twats while he recharges. I haven’t really been back to LA since I was a kid. We left when I was 12 because I had a depressive drunk birth-father (not the fun Step kind like Jesus) who needed a new start in a new timezone, which didn’t really work out.

I remember hating LA. We lived right on the border of the rich part, like literally, the neighborhood went from rich to poor in the middle of my street, beginning with my house. My dad said he was going to re-stucco the front, ripped it all off, then left the wood and cinder blocks and pipes exposed for 5 years and let the lawn turn into a weed forrest while he drank in the garage. There were some Filipinos further down the block with some chickens and a chihuahua that went missing. The kid next door claimed he beat the rat dog to death in a pillow case with a bat, but that dog was most likely the Filipinos’ dinner. There was a drug bust one night. A local skinhead would paint swastikas on the wall of the retarded kid’s house. The riots were kind of exciting.

This is Deelishes from Flava of Love’s teets. I don’t know whether she won or not, but she looks like the tranny that used to prance by my school yard every other day swinging a purse and a ponytail weave.

Once I saw Flava Flave in NYC heading west on 18th street at 5th ave. He had his big clock on and was yelling into is cell for attention. It was sad. But not as sad as Deelishes’ udders. Someone didn’t wear a bra for ten years. She should get a lift and you should start smacking your prick because you know it turns you on.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Deelish|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

26

Jul

I am – Deelishes’ Udders of the Day

Deelish

I am not excited about flying cross country to spend 5 days getting slammed by a former client’s old man meat for rent money, and writing for you twats while he recharges. I haven’t really been back to LA since I was a kid. We left when I was 12 because I had a depressive drunk birth-father (not the fun Step kind like Jesus) who needed a new start in a new timezone, which didn’t really work out.

I remember hating LA. We lived right on the border of the rich part, like literally, the neighborhood went from rich to poor in the middle of my street, beginning with my house. My dad said he was going to re-stucco the front, ripped it all off, then left the wood and cinder blocks and pipes exposed for 5 years and let the lawn turn into a weed forrest while he drank in the garage. There were some Filipinos further down the block with some chickens and a chihuahua that went missing. The kid next door claimed he beat the rat dog to death in a pillow case with a bat, but that dog was most likely the Filipinos’ dinner. There was a drug bust one night. A local skinhead would paint swastikas on the wall of the retarded kid’s house. The riots were kind of exciting.

This is Deelishes from Flava of Love’s teets. I don’t know whether she won or not, but she looks like the tranny that used to prance by my school yard every other day swinging a purse and a ponytail weave.

Once I saw Flava Flave in NYC heading west on 18th street at 5th ave. He had his big clock on and was yelling into is cell for attention. It was sad. But not as sad as Deelishes’ udders. Someone didn’t wear a bra for ten years. She should get a lift and you should start smacking your prick because you know it turns you on.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Deelish|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

23

Jul

I am – Adriana Volpe Topless of the Day

Adriana Volpe

You can’t fuck with a chick like Adriana Volpe when it comes to looks. Most guys would never even approach her because they know they don’t have a chance, and I definitely know that your virgin ass would spooge inside your pants if she so much as asked you where the restroom is at a restaurant.

Sometimes I’m at the bar and these guys will come up to me who just have no fucking chance, like I am so out of their legue I don’t even understand how they figure it can happen. And like I’m no snob either, and I’m open to different types of guys and don’t always go for the traditional hotties. But at the same time I’m not about to go for the unshowered-dirty shirt-no social skills type of guy (ie: you) either.

Guys need to take a cue sometimes and really assess whether they think they have a chance with chicks before just diving in, it would save both sexes a lot of time and embarrassment. I was talking with my friend on Saturday night while we were out at the bar and saw this bartender who I definitely would have liked to take home let him ravage me. I wouldn’t go up and talk to him though, and I had to explain to my friend that I never go up and talk to a guy if I’m not confident he will sleep with me, because, as I’m sure you know, dealing with rejection sucks. But for real, I basically figure out the odds of whether it will happen, and weigh them against how I bad I want to cock, and go from there. That night the odds weren’t in my favor and the house one.

Anyways, Women like Adriana Volpe are the reason women like Tara Reid pay money to get their bodie’s fucked up by cosmetic surgeons. Suckers!

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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Posted in:Adriana Volpe|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Abigail Clancy Topless on a Yacht

Abigail Clancy topless on a yacht. Apparently she’s a catwalk and lingerie model. Sounds like a perfect candidate for rich guys to hire her as their girlfriend to fuck. She’s from the UK, so those rich guys are likely soccer players, or what she calls Football players, who charter these yachts for aspiring models no one has ever heard of to pose topless on for the paparazzi. It helps everyone involved.

I figure that anyone who doesn’t look repulsive in a bikini and has cause to be on a yacht is worth my attention….only because I can put them in my internet database of gold diggers if ever I get rich, only that won’t work, because by then there will be a whole new breed of “Lingerie” and “catwalk” models…

Now let me upload the pics, unless I fall asleep, which happens. I’m drunk and this is boring…but tits….look at those tits!


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Posted in:Abigail Clancy|Models|Tits|Topless|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

03

Jul

I am – Sophie Cahill Intentional Flash of the Day

sophia_cahill_topless_top.jpg

Sophie Cahill was Miss Wales a couple of years ago. I obviously never heard of her because I am really not that worldly and I don’t really follow the whole beauty pageant thing because I find the concept annoying. It turns out that this girl who is obviously out of the pageant industry is doing what any drunk girl who was forced into beauty pageants all her life would do and that’s get breast implants and hang out with party sluts who encourage her to flash her tits to the camera for publicity. As much as I don’t like beauty pageants, I do like drunk girls crying for attention and that’s why I am posting these.

I remember knowing this girl who was the Prom Queen in her highschool, she was also the valedictorian, captain of the cheerleading team, involved in student government, student sports teams and had a scholarship to some good college. I met her after she crashed from all the pressure she put on herself to be the best at everything she did and had dropped out of school, cut off her parents, took up drinking, stripping and turning minor tricks to pay the bills. It was like seeing the girl who had everything going for her give all that opportunity the finger and take on the self-destructive path to nowhere.

Since I never heard of this Sophie Cahill chick, I can’t say she’s doing the same thing, but if she is, I’d probably pay at least 15 dollars a song to touch her fake titties.

Posted in:Drunk|flash|Panties|sophie cahill|Topless|Unsorted

2007

02

Jul

I am – Rebecca Gayheart Topless on a Yacht of the Day

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I always rag on the paparazzi for being sleazy fucks hiding in the bushes because part of me think they are assholes for suing people like me for posting the images and part of my sympathizes with the famous people who don’t have much of a private life, even though they make tons of money and want to be in the public eye and pretty much sold their souls to the world so that this kind of thing is considered alright, but I guess I can’t really hate them when they pull through with hot topless pics of some actress no one cares about on her Yacht in Italy. That means that some motherfucker got on a boat and followed them out to wherever the fuck they are to get pics of bitch on her boat topless and that takes some serious fucking effort. If I was walking down the street I wouldn’t have any idea who she was and I wouldn’t think twice about following her around with a camera, so I guess these paparazzi assholes have a place in the world.

What I love about girls is that they get fucking horny when they are in the sun and in bikinis. The first 30 minutes they are all shy and uncomfortable with people lookin’ at their bodies so they cover up a little, walk around with a towel, don’t take off their shirt when they are supposed to, but then they stop caring get used to being half naked and the party starts. Eventually tops come up, blow jobs are given and you’re on the set of a fucking porno without understanding how the fuck it happened. I don’t spend enough time with girls in bikinis, but I know how things are….

I always wanted a life where I was around naked chicks on yachts drinking cocktails all day, it seems like that is what living is all about, so while Rebecca Gayheart gives us a taste of the life we’ll never live, I can’t help but hate her for not inviting me.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Rebecca Gayheart|Tits|Topless|Unsorted|Yacht