DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

26

Aug

Rachel Bilson Bikini of the Day

Why not post it up again….

She’s got some straight up natural, maybe too natural, breast feeding almost 40 mom tits in a bikini…on her fit body…just a cocktease to those of us who liked her back in the OC days of 2004…..literally 15 years ago..a lifetime in “VAGINA” years…and not a cocktease in a need to jerk off cuz it’s so hot I got blue balls looking at it….like I was still in High School and the girl I was slow dancing with at the High School dance pushed her tits up into me only to give me the gnarliest boner ever….a boner she won’t service cuz we’re in fucking high school and it was the 80s and not high school of today where kids are getting arrested for kiddie porn due to how perverted they are..but a cocktease in the nostalgic way, in the “what could have been” way…cuz back in those OC days of 2004, she was in some longterm relationship, prepping to make babies and settle with her now EX husband, cuz that’s how it all works out….instead of being a slut like Micha Barton and all the girls of the era who were being sluts.

It was a great time, it’s when I started this BLOG despite being a grown man who had no business having a blog, and it was when shamelessness require strategy and not selfie cams and a social media page…good times..

She looks good, but too little too late by my standards……38 isn’t 23…and never will be.

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Posted in:Rachel Bilson|SFW

2019

26

Aug

Heidi Klum Thong of the Day

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HEIDI KLUM is too much…it’s nonstop attention seeking being some silly TYPE A personality who knows she is still hot for her age and who was always hot her entire existence…but it’s annoying.

I don’t know why I hate her content, I don’t think it’s a homosexual thing, since I don’t want to suck dick and if I wanted to suck dick, I’d suck dick…I live one of those lives where I do what I want and I don’t seem to want to be a fag….so anyone out there thinking “this dude who judges hot women and calls them fat or old or ugly must be a queer”…I’m not..

I just feel like subtle is the best approach to life. Save your silly wedgie shit for the privacy of your own home…or for some dinner party with your friends that you drink too much wine at….because middle aged women aren’t ever hot especially when they act quirky and sexual like this. It’s awkward, embarrassing and should be for people who like her as a person and appreciate the loudest voice in the room who wants all eyes on her….

The second it becomes an attempt at comedy for social media, it loses all credibility, in the moment spontaneity, and just sucks…

Keep in mind, I am all for a whore being a whore and showing the world her asshole, but Heidi Klum comes from a different era when publicists prevented this kind of shit, so she got to take the high road, only naked for million dollar campaigns, it’s made her nudity more valuable…

Now it’s just cheap and desperate and comedic without making me want to laugh at her, or with her or anything cuz it’s just fucking awkward..

As a hot old German Eugenics girl, it’d be better if her nudes came in the form of produced content for other people, even if she’s the master mind behind it, cuz this self produced shit SUCKS…

Trust me, I am a voyeur, I like watchign girls being sluts….from afar….a glimpse into their slut lives or whatever..but this shit is at the point of tedious. She’s made her money, her babies, she’s got consistent work and revenue….this is unneccessary. Especially in menopause….

TO SEE MORE HEIDI KLUM IN HER BIKINI AND DOING OTHER SHIT CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Heidi Klum|SFW

2019

26

Aug

Dua Lipa Birthday Bikini of the Day

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It’s Dua Lipa’s birthday…..not that you care since you don’t know who Dua Lipa is….and that’s ok, how can you keep track of all these fucking idiots on social media, even after they go Mainstream….there are just so many of them. Every fucking girl is a popstar, an influencer, a fashion blogger, and fitness guru, it’s fucking tiresome…only because none of them are qualified for that title, it’s a title they gave themselves and people just accepted as fact, and a title that involves little to no effort, or little to no strategy, they just copy each other…making for a whole lot of half naked MISINFORMATION…it’s fucking crazy…

Now Dua Lipa is some ALBANIAN YOUTUBER who did COVER songs and then released some ORIGINALS to see if they’d stick, and thanks to kids loving YOUTUBE, they stock, she existed and is now having a slutty bikini birthday with her friends…as she’s totally trolled everyone using the internet…they way the thousands of girls on social media are trying to use the internet and hack the system so they do can be a DUA LIPA…

Pretty fucking dumb, boring even, but lots of half naked content so it’s hard to hate on it too hard…cuz everything is bullshit but half nakedness has staying power or at least a purpose even when it doesn’t have a purpose…besides being shameless..

Here she is with her ass out in some tight shorts, with her boyfriend ANWAR Hadid the brother of the two rat models Bella and Gigi.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Dua Lipa|SFW

2019

26

Aug

Cassie Pregnancy Erotica of the Day

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Cassie got dumped by Puff Daddy and went and got pregnant by some white guy….and is naked on the beach with some monster tits out, strategically covered by her black hair, doing some Mermaid shit, except that black people aren’t into swimming at least the black people I know…they avoid that shit and stick to jumping through Fire Hydrants in the ghetto on hot summer nights in the 1960s or some shit….the Michael Phelps of the ghetto is the dude with the WRENCH….to get that water flowing…

But Cassie is more luxury than that, not some ghetto bitch, she just had to put up with Diddy all these years for that good life, and I know a girl who used to fuck Diddy, and apparently he’s real fucking weird and makes them massage his head for hours cuz when you’re Diddy on that pile of gold you can make girls do anything..like not have you baby, because clearly she wanted kids and he said “No fuck, get out”…because she got knocked up the second you leave him, with the first rich guy who comes along…

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Posted in:Cassie|Cassie Ventura|SFW

2019

26

Aug

Rita Ora Upskirt of the Day

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RITA ORA always breaking down boundaries with her tits and inspiring the world in the least influential way because no one even knows who this bitch is and if they do, they sure as hell don’t buy into her nonsense as a pop star, or give a shit..

She’s the high school girl who tries to be friends with everyone, in the most annoying way, going to all the parties, bouncing around from group to group because she craves attention that bad…

She has never done anything meaningful, interesting or inspiring, but she’s got good tits so we let it slide…you know the kind of over achiever she is….you know not a natural talent but pushy as fuck for people to think she is a talent cuz people don’t know and don’t care….but they follow cuz she’s everywhere and they figure that alone is reason to follow her…

She’s in concert, as half naked as I guess she can be cuz it makes her shitty act more interesting, and the upskirt isn’t reaelly an upskirt since the skirt is sheer…but we work with what we’re given here.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2019

26

Aug

Selena Gomez Newest Face of the Day

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Selena Gomez just released the latest iteration of her LUPUS face as it approaches 30 years old….

The odds against her when it comes to living all that much longer…so why not turn yourself into more of a pudgy faced muppet than she already was naturally cuz that’s the era we are in and this bitch has the money to do anything she wants, even buy organs off the black market or groupies who would rather die knowing they gave their master Selena life than keep their organs around….it’s nice to be rich and famous in a world of groupie losers trying to find some sort of meaning or legacy…and I guess it’s better than taking up school shootings, or mass shootings to make the news…in a “I died for Selena Gomez” instead of “I died in a shoot out cuz I did something fucking insane to a bunch of innocent people at the RIB FEST”….

Point being, I didn’t realize Selena Gomez was friends with Demi Moore, but it would explain why she’s in and out of Rehab….

Either way, she’s bringing some Debbie Does Dallas style pics cuz she’s texan to the people now that Country Music is hot again…

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Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2019

26

Aug

Skylar Grey Nudity Nobody Asked for of the Day

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Skylar Grey is like fat ass Bebe Rexha because they both are 30 something ugly girls who wrote songs for Eminem / Rihanna….only unlike BEBE REXHA she’s not doing the nudity for a pop career in her mid-30s, she’s just doing it cuz she’s a pervert with a very round ass….why is her ass so round? I guess something to spend the RESIDUALS from writing a hit song on….

Back in 2006, this girl won RINGTONE of the year with some HORRIBLE song…..I didn’t bother googling, but she also wrote this song about coming home to find your bitch taking nude selfies for the internet…

So maybe she is promoting her pop career at 33 with her prison tattoos….and ass out like a tech savvy internet marketing person would do….maybe look into a face transplant or something cuz this shit is hard in an era of muppet faces…we aren’t used to these kind of edges.

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Posted in:SFW|Skylar Grey

2019

26

Aug

Stella Maxwell Pussy Flash of the Day

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Here is Stella Maxwell showing off her lesbian DICK, but I don’t know if lesbians call the domineering manipulative partner’s genitals their DICK, cuz by default these lesbian women are molested or violated by men and their dicks, hence the whole becoming lesbian thing, which in Stella Maxwell’s case has worked out nicely, because apparently a lot of A-List actors are broken down on some emotional trauma level and are easy to convert to the darkside….of dick hating…which is why their sex toys are dolphin, corn on the cob, or banana shaped…cuz dicks so scary and mean spirited and angry which is intimidating for a dyke…just trying to masturbate a pussy to elevate her career…

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Posted in:SFW|Stella Maxwell

2019

26

Aug

Tara Lipinski Bikini of the Day

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Tara Lipinski the original Pro Skater…Tony Hawk didn’t die for this shit…not that he’s dead, but I assume he stole Tara Lipinski’s glory when he launched TONY HAWK Pro Skater video game with Playstation and changed the fucking face of the Skateboard industry, turning it into a Mass Market, McDonalds mainstream MTV thing….allowing nerds and losers who would never be cool to embrace the lifestyle and rock some skate shoes at the mall…when Tara Lipinski was out there pitching TURBO GRAFX 16 the Tara Lipinski Pro Skater game…that never materialized…all because Tony Hawk stole it from her…

But at least she can garner some hype around herself with her ass in a bikini…her skinny skater ass that still has muscle memory thanks to all those years of hard training…Roundness like all those girls in leggings and bike shorts I see every time I leave the house….I don’t know how asses got so round, but they are so fucking round.

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Posted in:SFW|Tara Lipinski

2019

26

Aug

Bella Thorne Nip Slip Suckin Dick in Italy of the Day

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Bella Thorne out here in Italy sucking her Italian pop star boyfriends dick….SCROLL DOWN.

She’s the kind of the girl who looks like her pussy is constantly itching, you know some too lazy to wash often enough for the VAGINITIS to not seep in….but then again…she is also the kind of girl who would do a VLOG about her VAGINITIS and post pics of the discharge for her fans cuz she realizes they seek knowing every fucking thing about her, every fucking detail, and social media is that platform…it’s the reality show on crack…where these people can manipulate their audience by farting on an IG story and talking about how empowered they feel as a farter, because growing up with Lactose intolerance along with 60% of the rest of the world, and always needing to fart your cheese out, is shame she carried through life and now…to embrace it is to love herself in the most public pandering kind of way…inspiring a generation of girls to start farting because it’s a natural fucking thing you assholes…what kind of Patriarchy is this where a woman can’t fart….because men have denied women assholes do shit things, only sex things, so they can eat it with grace and conviction and not thinking of the dump she took earlier that day, except for Germans and Japanese people who love that shit – literally.

Either way, she’s half naked on social media. Obviously.

Bella Thorne Sucking Dick in Italy Bikini

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Posted in:Bella Thorne