DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

06

Aug

Bella Thorne and Tana Mongeau Dyke it Down of the Day

Bella Thorne and her click bait with her BFF who is apparently also her lover, that her troll wizard looking, lesbian looking, crackhead pan sexual gender confused opportunist boyfriend in his 40s gets to jerk off on..

They are attention seeking for their record label that is a thing because the internet is dumb as fuck and buy into anything they find popular…

They aren’t attention seeking hard enough for my liking, because if you’re gonna put it out there…put it out there with genitals…

We’ve already seen this Disney Kid turned instagram whore pretty fucking naked like the bootleg follow Miley’s lead to take charge of their sexuality for marketing purposes cuz tits get hits!.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW|tana mongeau

2018

06

Aug

Haley Joel Osment in a Bikini of the Day

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Whilst watching the Bruce Willis roast on the internet for no reason other than the hole I stick my tongue in wanted to watch it, I was reminded a few things…and they were that Bruce Willis’ ugly daughters all look worth fucking, despite being ugly…that the female comic with her tits out flashing her pussy in panties was vulgar and I hate when women comics reduce themselves to vulgar pussy and fuck jokes…it reminds me of the worst kinds of loud drunk girls at the bar…and most importantly the ones who don’t actually fuck….like they say they do….I was also appreciated that Gordon Jordan Levitt was called a Lesbian going to Prom, probably from Jeff Ross who was good….because that’s what he looked like…and that Ed Norton did what I considered actual funny comedy…something that felt pretty brilliant…but most importantly that Hailey Joel Osment had a sex change when he turned 18, became Emily Osment, and here he/she is doing the Bruce Jenner in a bikini since girls have it easier that post-pubescent once cute, Hollywood pedophile bait…..that no longer have the appeal for that pedo ring.

Posted in:Emily Osment|Haley Joel Osement|SFW

2018

06

Aug

Kelly Rohrbach Washing Her Pussy of the Day

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Kelly Rohrbach is the girl from Baywatch, here she is topless and here she is hosing down that rich girl that got into Sports Illustrated pussy….the way you have to when you get sand and fucking sea creatures up in your cunt…or salt on the herpes scabs…

Keep in mind. She did date LEO DICAPRIO….and if he actually fucks women…it’s likely without condom…herpes scabs or not….to which the women fuck regardless cuz a little herpes aint a thing if it means getting the press and exposure you get from fucking Leo…plus if he knocks you up….you’re laughing…I mean dating Leo got this one on Baywatch..otherwise she’d just be a forgotten SI big girl with big tits…who doesn’t matter and is totally interchangeable…thanks to this thing called instagram where every girl has a fucking bikini pic for you to jerk off to…you know…I KNOW

Hose it down like the farm animal it is…I say.

Kelly Rohrbach Washing Her Pussy in a Bikini

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Posted in:Kelly Rohrbach|SFW

2018

06

Aug

Iggy Azalea Nipples Wet T Shirt Contest with Herself of the Day

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Enough already Iggy Azalea .

I don’t mind when whores act like whores and exploit being whores to draw attention to themselves, but this bitch, has virtually disappeared for two years, and it’s been a nice time, where we don’t need to listen to annoying white girls from Australia who only met a black guy for the first time when she moved to America, before fucking every single last one of them….to solidify her angle of being a white rapper…which in and of itself is so fucking lame…but that I guess requires no talent and gets you all the fame…if you have the right team of producers and hype men up inside you big fake ass you got for them.

I just find it annoying that she launches a single, and is all of a sudden fucking everywhere…tits out, fake ass out, go the fuck away….you’re cluttering my feed bro.

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Posted in:Iggy Azalea

2018

06

Aug

Heidi Klum Ass of the Day

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Heidi Klum doesn’t know that she’s 100 fucking years old, but I guess when you’re 100 fucking years old, you like to reflect on your life, and show the world your favorite position for Seal FUCKING, which is like Seal Hunting, or Seal Clubbing, Only people like Pam Anderson don’t get in they way on their boats trying to protest it, but instead Heidi Klum gets pregnant 10 times….making an army of Beige babies, despite what the people who created her Aryan ancestors in a German lab would think….which may be overcompensation for her EUGENICS program of the 1940s that made her….you know “I’m not racist I have mixed kids and my baby daddy was blacker than night”….but it’s probably more of German fetish hustle that appreciates a dick that is bigger than a baby’s arm…that destroys her from the inside so that her German pragmatism actually feels something…

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Posted in:Heidi Klum|SFW

2018

06

Aug

Halsey Thong Surfing of the Day

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Halsey, everyone’s favorite white as fuck black girl, who despite having a black dad, is living the white life, because no racism was ever put on her growing up, because no one knew she was someone they were supposed to be racist to, so this identifying as black is in a lot of ways cultural appropriation or exploitative and racist in and of itself, whether she’s black or not…because she is so fucking white.

I mean making anything a race thing for attention is fucking crazy, when really she should stick to putting her ass in skimpy suits on the beach….surfing…like black people you do…as surfing is a sport known for their African American surf stars…

Point being, all these clickbait surfers faking it, while we only fuck with one surfer around here and thats Anastasia Ashley

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Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|Halsey|SFW

2018

06

Aug

Alessandra Ambrosio Pussy Flash of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio looks like she’s flashing her pussy and asshole like you’d want her to be doing, because we’ve seen her in panties all these years, and since she’s at the tail end of her career, despite being a mom, still worthy of giving us a little genital flash, like the girl at the pool this weekend who didn’t realize her bathing suit bottoms were pulled to the fucking side and I could see full cooter, unless she totally realized it and was tanning her clit for the world to see, as people do…cuz you don’t want that pesky clit tan line…

She’s a bikini and underwear promo model for the evil underwear corporation…and not wearing underwear in this silly onsie outfit all the ladies are wearing despite how complicated they are when they have to pee….cuz who wants panty lines when you can just hope for the best and assume your leg won’t get blown up – leaving pussy everywhere.

I am a fan of unintentional, not wearing panties, pussy flashes…so if that is what this is…it’s great…unfortunately I can’t see enough labia to really know for sure but the idea is there, the seed planted and it’s good enough for me to run with.

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2018

06

Aug

Bella Hadid Erotica of the Day

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Bella Hadid is a “Top Model”….the most important thing in fashion…who comes from a very rich fucking family…yet still capable of keeping things fucking sex-worker like, clickbait and trashy…

It’s like here she is tying up her top, her big, possibly fake, maybe just arab tits, into some kind of harness like they are her baby she’s about to walk through the desert with on some pilgrimage after the Jewish people took her Palestine, forcing her to run to LA to become this fashion icon thanks to having lots of social media followers…

I view her as garbage clickbait…and it’s not a racist, she’s a terrorist, I’m siding with the Israelites on this one situation…

It’s just that she’s lucky that had rich parents with an ego trying to be the next Kardashian Jenners….and a sister who was properly marketed hard enough to give Bella a chance to jump on the train…..whilst looking all trans, like a dude I saw walking around in a lace sarong this weekend…which is pretty fucking gay…something her Muslim god wouldn’t approve of and that if this was another generation…she’d be honored killed…but instead she’s closing brand deals…

Here she is being slutty on social media

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Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2018

06

Aug

Ashley Tisdale Pussy Print Bikini of the Day

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I think that it’s asking a lot of me to post someone like Ashley Tisdale on her bikini party, day two, even after a weekend to reflect on it, and expect me to have some sort of life changing observation, when shit is played out, repetitive, boring even…

I mean sure, she’s a girl from TV a few decades ago, in her 40s, wearing a bikini looking 20 pounds fatter than she was when she used to work out, before getting married and lazy as women tend to do, rocking bigger tits than she ever had due to a slowing down of her metabolism….

That makes her more interesting than all the women I saw in bikini this past weekend, who I realized for the first time, were wringing out their bikini tops, something I never noticed women do, and they do it by by squeezing their tits…which I guess is a wonderful thing to realize women do….45 years after first obsessing over women in bikinis…I’m late to the game…which I guess is how we feel about Tisdale getting slutty now…a little late to the game…but still half naked and ain’t nothing wrong with that.