DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2010

12

Apr

Britney Spears Half Naked and Untouched for Candies of the Day

Here are some pictures of Britney Spears half naked for Candies, it looks like they aren’t airbrushed or photoshopped and keeping her untouched shows off all the places she’s been touched….

They’ve kept all her scars, bruises or what I like to call memories of being rich white trash with a lot of psychological issues in the pictures….I still think she’s got it going on but then again, some of the pussy I’ve gone down on both drunk, high and sober, has been far more gutter, far more dirty, far more diseased, haggard, rotten, damaged, gaping, emotionally unstable, dripping out green shit, addicted to drugs, pussy that smelled like shit, that looked like roadkill, that people would never put their fingers in, but I was there twirling my tongue around it like it was a fucking jujube or like it was water I was lapping up like a dog after being stuck in the desert for 4 days after a plane crash….if you know what I mean…

Posted in:Britney Spears|Candies|Underwear

2010

12

Apr

Jessica Simpson’s New Hair of the Day

14 Comments »

If you told me 6 years ago that I’d be writing about Jessica Simpson’s haircut on my own website, where I can pretty much write anything I want to write about, but chose to write this, I probably would have laughed in your faggot face and stole your wallet, but here I am today….posting pictures of the shit and writing about her haircut like a group of bitches at the coffee shop with nothing better to do with their fucking days or hair stylists who made their life about this shit and care about this shit, when all I see is some dyke shit that’s still long enough for me to pull her hair while cumming down her lonely throat, not that that will ever happen in my lifetime, but it’s the only way for me to not let this post depresse me more than I already am….

Posted in:Hair|Jessica Simpson

2010

12

Apr

Pam Anderson’s Hard Nipples in White for PETA of the Day

10 Comments »

Pam Anderson is at some Vegan bullshit and I guess along with giving up with all animal products, she also gave up on wearing a bra, not that she needs to wear because she’s got tits so solid you could hang plants off of, but she should be wearing a bra cuz she’s old, disgusting, over and done, that dairy is expired, kinda thing, but I guess she’s just happy her nipples still work after all the operations and feels the need to show the shit off and really…who fucking cares….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Hard Nipples|Pam Anderson

2010

12

Apr

Laurie Cholewa is Gerard Butler’s New Pussy of the Day

2 Comments »

In proving that Hollywood is full of shit thanks to movies have huge marketing budgets, big legal budgets, an a huge investment people want to protect, as well as PR people who have been hired to get these people in the media, to keep people caring about their clients and pretty much totally polluting America with useless smut, here are some pictures of Gerard Butler’s new girlfriend…because he never dated Jennifer Aniston, no one ever dates Jennifer Aniston, they were just in a movie together and dude made a lot of money for someone no one has ever heard of and part of getting that money was pretending to be dating her, and this new pussy is the proof.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Gerard Butler|Laurie Cholewa

2010

12

Apr

Khloe Kardashian is a Monster on the Beach of the Day

31 Comments »

The good thing about Khloe Kardashian is that she knows she’s a fucking beast of a woman that no one has ever really jerked off to. That’s why she was the first to volunteer for the staged marriage with the guy she ended up marriying for her Kardashian show. You know, to feel what getting married is like because her whole life she knew there was no hope for her because she’s a fucking monster…..that’s why she hires hot pussy to walk around in a bikini on the beach with her to promote whatever bullshit she is promoting, because her in a bikini is not really something people run up to, but more something people run the fuck away from…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|Monster

2010

12

Apr

Doutzen Kroes Gets Sexy for Numero Tokyo of the Day

5 Comments »

Fashion pulls through again…it’s like they convince these hot chicks to get half naked with a little thing called money and a false sense of quality, class, shit I don’t understand because the only thing I ever tried to do in fashion was crotchless panties I made from panties I picked up at the Salvation Army…

Here is Doutzen Kroes proving that models are nothing but whores who only fuck you if you’re a billionaire, but will get naked for you if you offer them enough money and pretend you work in the industry…Good times…

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Fashion|Model

2010

12

Apr

Bar Refaeli and Jersey Shore for Interview of the Day

7 Comments »

These pictures came out a long time ago, they are of Bar Refaeli and the cast of Jersey Shore for Interview Magazine, shot by Terry Richardson, proving that if you’re willing to humilate yourself on national television because it pays better than working as a bus boy at the hottest club in your town hoping one day you’ll get the bartending job, you will get a whole lot of fucking perks, like nustling up to Bar Refaeli tits in person and in picture for everyone in the world to see that despite how much of a joke you are, you’re fucking awesome, killin’ your early 20s harder than most kids you know in their early 20s who waste away in University….

The Jersey Shore people have inspired me….I need to get on a TV show….

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|Jersey Shore|Terry Richardson

2010

12

Apr

Michelle Hunziker is Still in a Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s some more pictures of the mom with a body Michelle Hunziker. She’s the kind of pussy the local community pool needs to recruit instead of the immigrant mom pussy they’ve been getting to date. I’m talking the kind of bitch who reproduces like a fucking bitch, I’m talking 10 fucking kids and a vagina so big her idea of a bathing suid is a pair of sweatpants, making the whole experience no so erotic…but life’s not fair, and I’m stuck with stinky poor people and green shit filled pools, while bitches like this exist….cuz I suck at life.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Hunziker

2010

12

Apr

Anna Friel in Some Little Shorts of the Day

5 Comments »

I am down with short shorts – I am not so down with weird looking faces – but I can see past that when the bitch with the weird looking face is in short shorts. Just last night I was dying of a hangover on a park bench and this group of young, long legged girls who decided to start working on their bikini bodies in short shorts walked by, I have no idea what their faces looked like, or even if they had an upper body, but I could sketch every line and curve of their asses.

I don’t know who this bitch is, but the shorts made her good enough for me….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Anna Friel|Shorts

2010

12

Apr

Bus Driver Molestor of the Day

2 Comments »

So this retard bus driver was taking a retarded girl home and decided he might as well get some sex from her cuz ever since he was younger and loved the show Life Goes On, he wanted to feel a Downs Syndrome pussy….and figued she probably doesn’t have real high standards you know, cuz she’s retarded, but his whole plan of seduction backfired when she pushed him off, cuz he crossed the line of appropriate cuz she wasn’t in the mood to give up her retard pussy…even though you’d think she was in the mood based on how often she masturbated in a given hour…I used to work in a retard home and playing with their your own genitals was the retard way of life…

As I am concered all pussy is created equal..if it works then its worth fucking and if the bus driver wasn’t the bigger fucking retard in the situation he would have tried to get up inside someone more severely retarded who can’t talk and express themselves so that no one ever finds out about his hustle….

Either way, I think this dude was just doing community service, you know, make a girl feel like a sex object and not like a freak of nature and he deserves the key to the fucking city.

Posted in:Bus Driver|Retard