Blake Lively was out in a romper last night, which is a coincidence because so was the girl I followed home to jerk off on her fire escape watching her make dinner.
Posted in:Blake Lively|Romper
2009
22
May
Blake Lively was out in a romper last night, which is a coincidence because so was the girl I followed home to jerk off on her fire escape watching her make dinner.
Posted in:Blake Lively|Romper
2009
22
May
It was Jordan’s birthday, I’m not sure how old she is but I think her tits are about 2 years old. I am sure everyone made that joke today. I am not creative, but Jordan’s plastic surgeon is, so I guess we’ll let him be the star of this post, even though she’s covered the fuck up for once.
Posted in:Happy Birthday|Jordan|Tits
2009
22
May
The Kardashians had to thicken the plot of their TV show, since it has the depth of a fuckin’ puddle, so they moved to Miami and opened up a store there. I think it would have done better if one of them was killed off or disappeared when flying a small plane over the Bermuda triangle, where the others go to find her, only to end up disappearing too, forcing whoever produces this to stop the fucking abuse.
I guess this is like some basic National Lampoon shit, get the bitches in another city, to pretend to run a store, only with less Chevy Chase and more Ed Hardy T-shirts because I drove down to Miami 5 or 6 years ago with a friend and that shit was on the next level of bottle service, Guido chachi motherfuckers throwing napkins drinking 20 dollar drinks, if not rockin’ Magnums of Goose, and can only assume it’s a hell of a lot worse now…
The whole thing is at the point of ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as Khloe Kardashian holding up a bikini like she can actually pull it off in public, you know since she’s a fucking beast, not that you care and either do I. and I’m only posting it because Khloe is posing with a bikini and as disgusting as that is, it’s porn to me.
Posted in:Kardashians|Miami
2009
22
May
Here’s Jean Claude Van Damme acting like an attention whore, prancing around in his panties like the little slut that he is, hoping to get in the tabloids because it is good for his self esteem. He was a hug action star man, he made big fucking money, all the girls wanted to get in his pants and all the guys wanted the be in his pants and all the gay guys wanted to be his pants, and now he’s just a nobody.
If you’re wondering why I am posting homo shit, you know men in their brief, it’s partially because I find french men about as masculine as the average woman, not quite as masculine as the two dykes having a beer chugging contest on the street yesterday, so posting him in his panties is probably something worth celebrating, because it means he’s not bottomless, but it is also because anyone who says they never got hard watching one of his movies and because I am taking the Lady Gaga approach to success and that’s targeting the gays.
No, I didn’t get “too drunk” last night, that broadened my eyes on homosexuality, in some kind of college hook up where I wake up in the arms of a muscular man in leather with a dick in my ass, I am just testin’ my options, cuz I’ve never seen a poor gay guy, they are all career oriented, all fabulous livin’, who love to drink and do coke, with luxury lofts and no kids to rape their bank accounts, making them appealing to advertisers.
I figure my gay strategy is gonna end after this post. I hope you enjoyed it.
Posted in:Briefs|Jean Claude Van Damme|Panties|Underwear
2009
22
May
Here’s a song by Beyonce singing about loving a guy’s “Big Ego” because shit is the only thing she can physically feel because of her “Big Pussy” and I don’t mean her family pet, unless they all take turns petting the fluffy mess in her unitard, I mean her fat genitals because she’s fat.
Here’s her new digitally remastered video with her pants off, it’s the theme of female performers everywhere and I like to document it’s slow move into the mainstream. I’m no fashion expert but this is the summer of no pants and I guess that’s a good thing for an old pervert like me.
2009
21
May
It is pretty much summer weather here and the girls are out in full effect and they are all pretty much half naked and it seems like everyone’s going crazy for fucking Ice Cream.
I got some ghetto soft serve for 50 cents because my wife made me do it and walked down the street eating it, only to pass another fuckin’ ice cream shop with high end ice cream, where all the snobby assholes pointed and laughed. I didn’t know ice cream was such a status game, until realizing they were laughing cuz my wife’s vagina lip was hanging outside her sweat pant, sure that vagina part is a lie, but these snobby ice cream experts definitely gave me dirty looks for rollin’ up with ghetto soft serve and it was funny.
Not as funny as when I just went to the store to get beer and two fat chicks were fighting over ice cream flavors, only to decide to get both, and that’s how I think women should work with sex, fight for the vagina, while I fight for the anal, only to come to a common ground of a little of both, but that’s not how it works out, what happens is you end up getting nothin’ and that’s just proof you can learn a lot at a store that sells ice cream and that’s without talking to the Sri Lankan about the history of his fucking people.
Here are my links – ps – I am drunk
Find A Masturbation Wife Here
GO
I Love My Lesbian Daughter
GO
Hitler Loves Hanna Montana
GO
8 Bikini Models You Must Look At
GO
I Guess Dogs Will Eat Anything
GO
Maria Grazia Cucinotta Has Glorious Tits
GO
Billy Mays Orders McDonalds
GO
Diane Kruger is Lookin Mighty Fine
GO
Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO
How The NBA Will Guarantee A Kobe Vs. Lebron Final
GO
Sesame Street On Acid. Makes Sense Doesn’t It?
GO
Legs, Cleavage and BEER
GO
Striptease of the Day
GO
Mars’ New Candy Bar Is A Real Slut
GO
Louise Griffiths Is in Bikini
GO
Yup, Michael Jackson Has Cancer
GO
Adriana Lima’s Nipples
GO
Jessica Alba Is Looking Good Without That Stupid Baby On Her Arm
GO
Kendra Wilkinson Just Ruined My Day
GO
Cher is All Sorts of Disgusting
GO
Christen Stefanich Photoshoot
GO
Australia’s Biggest Internet Celebwhore (This Week)
GO
Erotic Gymnastics Heyooo
GO
Guy Gets Tossed Off a Moving Bus
GO
Sweet Peach is Young and Fine
GO
Employee of the Month
GO
Well It’s Official. I Am Bever Going to India Ever
GO
I wanna Motorboat Wendy Williams
GO
Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO
And There’s Lady GaGa’s Vagina
GO
India Reynolds Naked
GO
MILF With an Awesome Body
GO
Georgia On My Mind
GO
Angelina Jolie Throwback
GO
Fuck You Walmart
GO
Kanye Already Broke Up With That Stripper
GO
She’s Got You Dancing
GO
Tunnel of Love
GO
How to Survive an Earthquake
GO
Bikini Whore Battle
GO
Fuck You, Speidi
GO
Some Titties at a Premiere
GO
Some American Apparel Blowjob Ad
GO
Posted in:stepLINKS
2009
21
May
So if you’re wondering what the titties Eminem used as a public urinal, mainly because they have the same relationship with a lot of dick like a public urinal, you know one you’d find in a stadium, or bar, maybe with some stray pubic hair on it, or chewed up gum, or maybe even a used condom or a syringe if you’re in the crazy part of town, here is Mariah Carey in a see through shirt with her crazy tits….
On a sidenote I’ve pissed on girls before, but the best time was after a night of hard drinking and downing 6 vitamin C tablets because i felt a cold coming on. I somehow convinced my gf to let me piss in her face and I did and she took some of the darkest piss I’ve ever seen leave my body in her mouth before puking, it wasn’t hot and pretty much ended our relationship cuz I can’t respect a woman who lets a very convincing, dashing, charismatic, pretty much homeless fat man piss in her face….
Posted in:Mariah Carey|See Through|Shirt
2009
21
May
The reason I never had kids was this fear that they’d be ugly. I know every once in a while ugly people have good lookin’ babies, in some sort of Karma for always feeling like shit about yourself, and allowing you to feel proud of something, by having the prettiest girl in the school, but Karma’s never been too good to me, leading me to believe I’d end up with some kind of legless mutand that I’d be forced to drag around down, so that everyone would look at me and laugh, since they don’t do that enough already. It
Based on these pictures, maybe David Hasselhoff shoulda had the same intuition as I did, because damn, these girls belong back in the abortion clinic dumpster, the home they never got to visit because some asshole decided to let his wife keep them and take them away from a much better fate.
I like that dis, I’m gonna shape the delivery on it a little better and use it daily. Amazing that I’ve still got it in me….
Posted in:Daughter|David Hasselhoff
2009
21
May
I know pigs are never supposed to wear pants but guess who didn’t wear pants again ….come on…I’ll give you three guesses…if you said “tranny lookin’ broken down rich kid who craves attention because she’s ugly and does it by making a mockery of gay people and their gay lifestyles by spitting out cliches about things she thinks they can relate to and who only has gay fans from FAUX-MOs or the kind of fag who is a real fag because he takes dick in his mouth/ass/wherever, but isn’t a real fag in his core, because he’s doing it as a fashion statement to justify why he’s such a fuckin’ loser in his mid western town and does every annoyingly gay thing possible because he saw it on tv, like a Perez Hilton for example”…then you win absolutely nothing…