I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

28

May

Commuters in their Bathing Suits of the Day

Some stunt was coordinated over a week ago where people went to work in their bikinis, I realize that I am slow on this shit, but I don’t really stay on top of promotional stunts or weird internet stunts in cities I don’t live in, but I guess I should, because seeing everyday girls in their bikinis, in the middle of the city, is pretty fucking great, especially since I am the kind of guy who is all strippered out, and appreciate seeing real life girls who aren’t paid to get naked, half naked, it’s a lot more erotic, and here’s the video while I re-hydrate.

Posted in:Bikini|Public

2009

27

May

stepLINKS of the Day

My life is complicated, like that Avril Lavigne song only way less commercially successful, but much more charming. That’s what I like to believe.

I’ve spent the last 3 hours trying to seduce girls promising them fame, unfortunately none of them have ever heard of me or my site.

I guess none of that is really as big of a deal as the fact that I have a very small penis.

My life really isn’t complicated at all, if anything it’s just a very long, drawn out, boring joke and here are my stepLINKS.

Sluts Who Who Do What You Want, When You Want
GO

Michael Lohan Threatened to Kill His Fiancee
GO

Captain Kirk’s Back Rub
GO

The 9 Sexiest Women From The Bronx
GO

When Mothers Start Internetting
GO

You Are Gonna Love Katie Cassidy
GO

When Nerds Battle
GO

Avril Lavigne Must Be Half Retarded
GO

7 Things You Say While Assembling Something From Ikea
GO

George Lucs Rap Attack?
GO

Legs, Cleavage, Beer, & A Green Screen Studio
GO

Striptese of the Day
GO

Simona Halep Wants Breast Reduction, Tears Shed Across Globe – PICS
GO

Here’s a Dog That is Smrter, Fitter and In Better Shape Than You Are
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Justin Gaston is Retarded o Has Down Syndrome or Something
GO

They Want to Lick Your Lollipop and By Lollipop They Mean COCK
GO

Remember Marla Maples? Maybe Her Nipples Will Jog Your Memory
GO

Drew Barrymore Loves Gay Marriage
GO

Josh Brolin is a Dirty Whore
GO

Britney Spears May Illegally Buy a Black Baby, Since She is Taking Parenting Advice From Madonna
GO

Katy Perry FHM Photoshoot Video
GO

TV Upskirt Compilation
GO

A Bored Camera Man Means Sexy Video For Us
GO

Honestly Lady Gaga, Shut the Fuck Up
GO

Liquor Store Tit Flash
hp?http://www.wtfpeople.com/video/40428/crazy-girl-flashes-her-tits-at-a-liquor-store”target=”_blank”rel=”nofollow”> GO

Aria Giovanni and Tera Patrick Get It On
GO

Emily Scott Does Ralph Magazine
GO

Now That’s a Mighty Fine Ass, Mighty Fine Indeed
GO

Megan Fox is Lookin Good On The Set of Her Photoshoot
GO

Lily llen Hates Susan Boyle
GO

Remember Jenn Jameson Before All The Surgery?
GO

Eve Shows Off the Beef
GO

Ennie is Naked
GO

Jailbail of the Day
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Lanni Barbie is Busty
GO

American Idol Was Totally Fucking Rigged
GO

Holy Fuck I Love 80’s Fitness Shit
GO

Her Pussy Will Eat You Alive
GO

Mike Tyson’s 4 Year Old Daughter is Dead
GO

Do It Like This
GO

The Science Behind Being a Perv
GO

Drunken Lake Havasu Party Girls: Memorial Day Edition
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

27

May

Rihanna is Fucking Hot in Kanye’s New Video of the Day

Here’s Kanye’s video that hit yesterday featuring Rihanna in her fuckin’ lingerie looking pretty fuckin’ amazing. I think I love her.

Posted in:Kanye West|Paranoid|Rihanna

2009

27

May

Ashley Tisdale’s Legs Don’t Fool Me Into Thinkin She’s Not Ugly of the Day

No matter how much work this Tisdale chick gets done to herself, she keeps stayin’ ugly. I don’t really understand it but it reminds me of a conversation I had earlier today, when a girl was telling me about her boyfriend’s band that was called The Cockroaches, where I responded “How cute, he named it after you”, only I was just trying to be funny with her, while I actually think that shit applies to Tisdale, because she is a fucking cockroach of a girl who just doesn’t go away, like the cockroaches in my shitty apartment, depsite not really having much purpose in being there, but to just annoy the fuck out of me. Not that I really understand why I have this kind of emotionaly instability when it comes to this bitch, but I do and that concludes the Ashley Tisdale ugly watch of the day.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Legs

2009

27

May

Megan Fox Does a Photoshoot of the Day

I met my very own Megan Fox earlier today. She was this hot blonde chick who asked me for a lighter on the street randomly. I didn’t have a lighter because I don’t smoke, so I said no, but then I remembered I don’t change my pants and grabbed some matches the other week at a restaurant, so I called her back saying I had matches, only to realize that I didn’t. I apologized. She said I got her hopes up. I said “Yeah, I really fucked you” she walked away creeped the fuck out and I screamed after her saying “I’m going to write about this on Craiglist misconnections”. I am pretty sure she felt the love.

Here’s Megan Fox doing some photoshoot. My favorite part of it are her white pants because of the suspense that comes with wearing white pants – will she get a surprise period or not – only time will tell – amazing.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Photoshoot

2009

27

May

Gabriel “Gabby” Agbonlahor’s Ugly Girlfriend on the Beach of the Day

This is some “footballer” and by “footballer” I mean pro soccer player in Europe, I just like to pretend I know what’s going on, using big words to sound worldly because it impresses the ladies. Even though I know the white and black ball is called a fucking soccer ball and not a fucking football. I also know the black and white player named Gabriel Agbonlahor’s may have white features, but likes to keep his taste in women Nigerian as fuck, because this pig in a bikini is what he’s fucking, when he could be getting with much better lookin’ soccer groupie whores like his other budies, because these asshoels are considered to be famous over there and everyone knows famous guys can land some pretty prime girls, especially when their list of standards don’t have one line item that reads “White”.

Yeah – I edited him out of the pictures, but you can google the shit to see what he looks like.

So I guess without him in the pictures this is just some bitch in a green bikini.

After the Cameron Diaz pics, I guess green bikinis are in this season.

Maybe I should get one and try to join in one of the charity car washes the high school kids organize by my house.

I am always willing to get wet for charitable causes.

Especially when it involves hanging with teenage girls.

I should probably edit that last line out.

It may be a “red flag” for the FBI.

It may ruin my fuckin’ master plan.

Oh well.

Posted in:Bikini|Gabriel "Gabby" Agbonlahor

2009

27

May

Cameron Diaz in her Green Bikini of the Day

Cameron Diaz is amazing.

Not only was her grandfather a dirty cuban cigar roller who snuck into the country to teach the locals how to roll dirty cuban cigars because the American government was trying to choke Cuba out as hard as they could to make the shit into some kind of State, but her tall and lean body coupled with her hefty bank account, and her ability to jerk off a dick while fisting herself makes her top grade pussy.

Sure, she looks like the kind of girl who may be a little too cute and down with the boys, who wants to watch sports despite sports being porn for closet case fags and shits with the door open while scratching her razor burnt cunt because as one of the boys she knows we like our pussy bald, but maybe that was just her in a role in a movie, I am pretty shitty at differentiating reality and bullshit that is celebrity and hollywood, and that’s why I prefer talking about myself.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any beach stories about me and a girl in a green bikini, I also only have Cuban prostitute stories, because Cuba is the cheapest place to travel in Canada and they would bore you, despite being 18 and hairy and willing to spend the week with you for 50 dollars, especially since Cameron Diaz is one of those Cuban prostitutes who only lets other celebrities inside her, so I’ll just leave it at that, because really, anyone who reads shit on the internet, is no one I want to get to know.

Posted in:Bikini|Cameron Diaz

2009

27

May

Beyonce in Concert With No Pants on of the Day

If Beyonce was a boy she wouldn’t be wearing a fuckin’ one piece bathing suit, unless of course she was a cross dressing boy. If Beyonce had any fucking respect for others and wasn’t and self-loving bitch who thinks she’s better than the rest of the fuckin world, she wouldn’t be wearing a fucking one piece bathing suit, she’d cover her fat ass up.

Maybe this women’s liberation, independent woman, all the single ladies bullshit kick should take a fucking time out and stand in the fuckin’ corner where it belongs, because her fashion sense on stage may influence other fat girls to dress like this, thinking they are loving themselves, while alienating the men who would possibly consider fuckin’ them when drunk, because being face to face with their fat pantless crotch when not alone at their apartment, will usually make us walk the other fuckin’ way.

Posted in:Beyonce|Concert|Pants

2009

27

May

Candice Swanepoel in Some Topless Pics of the Day

Here’s some lingerie model topless. I know tits are an amazing thing that make a girl far less interesting than she was before I got thru the padded bra only to discover she is actually an A Cup forcing me to hate jerk off on her tits to teach them a fuckin lesson about lying to me, not that I am a big tit lover, but because I just like the truth..

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Topless

2009

27

May

Starbucks has some Solid Competition of the Day

I am pretty sure I’ve been to Vietnam. It was years ago and this guy I know’s mom died, left him 100 grand or something and he wanted to hit up Southeast Asia. His dad was a war vet and he chose Vietnam to go on a quest to find his dad’s war amputated foot. We didn’t have much luck finding his foot, but we did meet a lot of fucking whores, I’m talking tons of ladyboys that I didn’t fuck with and hundreds of regular girls in lady bars, where you’d walk buy and they’d jump you for BOOM BOOM or whatever the fuck they call sex while you drank 50 cent beer.

I just know that I was drunk the entire time and at one of the lady bars, I walked into the bathroom and the girls were hosing off their pussies with a hose attached to the toilet, and it was pretty fucking amazing.

We brought a couple of the whores with us to the beach and stayed at some resort and I probably should have never left, but instead here I am, with a fat wife who doesn’t satisfy my needs, no money, and no bikini clad whore coffee house. But they do have them in LA so fuck you Starbucks, the Vietnamese know customer service and this shit better fuckin’ turn into a franchise so I can get my coffee and a friend to talk to and stare at for 4 dollars.

Posted in:Coffee Shop|Vietnamese