I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

29

Apr

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s All Dressed Up of the Day

Hey Jennifer Love Hewitt, glad you took some time to get ready and make yourself presentable. You lazy fucking pig of a girl. I’d hate to see what your underwear looks like, because this kind of outfit leads me to think disgusting, you should burn the shit, not one needs to be catching swine flu from them shits.

Posted in:Dumpy|Jennifer Love Hewitt|Pig|Slob

2009

29

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

Swine Flu is all over the fucking news, everyone is scared and all I see is an amazing opportunity to fuck with people. Whether it is getting on the subway and coughing, while showing a friend pictures of my Mexican vacation, or renting a pig for the day and putting a pancho on the motherfucker, and sneaking into public places asking people to pet Sancho your mexican pig, I am sure there are other things you can do, because it’s a celebration, Mexico may become bankrupt over this because people won’t be visiting, but who cares, since we’ll all be dead.

Finally getting our revenge on the white man for not letting us across your borders and giving us shitty underpaid jobs gardening, taking care of your kids, working in your hotels as chambermaids and maintenance people, or in kitchens or on farms like migrant fucking workers, motherfuckers.

Here are my links

Because Being s Slut is All Relative To What You’re Doing
GO

Who Knew Julia Roberts Had Such an Awesomely Foul Mouth
GO

In An Apatow World…
GO

The Best Closeups of Heidi Montag’s Tits
GO

GET YOUR SWINE FLU SHOT TODAY!!
GO

Megan Foxes Esquire Preview
GO

German Lingerie Battle
GO

Whose Dad HASN’T Found a Rubber Under Their Bed?
GO

Deni Made My Life Better, If Only For a Minute
GO

How To: Fake Youre Own Death
GO

Two Cute Girls, One Quick Kiss
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Sarah Jessica Parker Doesn’t Look Like an 80 Year Old Women For Once
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Man Those Japs Sure Know How to Make Good Internet Videos
GO

Hef Wants Holly Back
GO

WHAT IN HOLY HELL HAPPENED TO KATHLEEN TURNERS FUCKING FACE?!?!?
GO

French Actress Christine Boisson See Through Dress
GO

I’m in Love With Bar Rafaeli and Her Little Black Bikini
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Jessica Biel’s Newest Movie is Straight to DVD
GO

God Dammit I Hate Cheryl Burke
GO

Ahhhhh Louise Glover
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

I Wanna Be All Over Erica Cambells Ass
GO

I’ll Take a Whole Bunch of Whatever She is On
GO

Hello Nikki Brookes
GO

Hockey Fans Love Oral
GO

Jacko is Prepared For Swine Flu
GO

Lexi Bell Gets Down
GO

Charlize Theron, I Love You
GO

Jennifer Ellison’s Tits Are Massive
GO

Hot Latina Masterbates
GO

Bar Rafaeli Could Wear a Garbage Bag and Look Hot
GO

Emma Stone is Bangable
GO

Grindhouse Girls Rock Out to Bret Michaels
GO

Adele Stephens is Pure Sex
GO

PAnic Over NYC
GO

Blow Job Balloons Look Kind of Awesome
GO

Popeyes Ran Out of Chicken and a Bunch of People Lost Their Fucking Minds
GO

Can Someone Explain WTF is Going On Her Please?
GO

Netherlands Cancel All Music Festivals Over Swine Flu
GO

Blowjob Balloons!
GO

Some Girls Jumping in Bikinis…
GO

Slut Wears Her Bikini With a Belt….
GO

Song of the Day

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

28

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Walks Around With No Pants on of the Day

Lindsay Lohan was out in Hawaii in her bathing suit bottoms and that’s so crazy you know since it’s tropical weather, there’s an ocean and she spent the entire day at the fuckin’ beach.

If you want to give me a story, have her walking around New York totally naked feeding the fucking pigeons while directing traffic or some shit, don’t give me a girl on vacation in bikini bottoms lookin’ awesome….that’s all I have to say about that….

I do have something to say about being pantsless and that is that a couple years ago I threw a pantsless party and invited everyone I know, unfortunately, I was drunk at the time and neglected the fact that everyone I know are pretty much homeless dudes, so they all came over empty handed with no pants on, smelling of piss and shit, one guy wasn’t wearing underwear and the whole thing totally backfired. The concept was to get some girls running around in panties, but again, I failed on delivery…..

Today’s been a series of repetition….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

28

Apr

Kim Kardashian and Her Tits of the Day

Kim Kardashian was on The View pretending she knows how to work out. It was funny hearing her panting out of breath doing some really low impact shit wearing heels, like a typical short legged fat girl trying to come across sexy, delusional about what’s really going on in her pants.

I know a lot of you think she’s the dreamgirl, while I just think she’s Jennifer Hudson, so I’ll post it anyway. The only thing that woulda made this video hot would be if Whoopi was talking about her ass, but I guess it was her day off. Enjoy.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

28

Apr

Amber Heard Topless in Some Movie of the Day

Her name is Amber Heard, she was the highschool girlfriend in Pineapple Express. She is naked in this video that is supposed to be from her new movie called the informers. I dont know anything else about her. I don’t know if she is in highschool, the fact that she’s topless leads me to think she isn’t, but the perkiness of her tits, leads me to pretend that she is.

I guess that’s the reason so many guys I know like premature babies or girls with developmental issues and that’s because they look 14 when they are 18 and by people I know, I mean you.

Personally, I am more into grandmothers and their grey, hard, leathery pussy, but only because it comes with a pension, nap time and all the baked goods my fat kid self can desire…

Posted in:Amber Heard|Informers|Topless

2009

28

Apr

Some Lingerie Store Politically Correct Bullshit of the Day

I get that lingerie companies don’t want to alienate any women from wearing their product. You can be 90 pounds to 900 pounds and motherfuckers will still celebrate you as long as you are paying, so it is only natural for a lingerie company to do some politically correct campaign to let women of all sizes know they can get their support right at Ultimo no matter what shape or size, all the while not taking a second to think about what the men watching are thinking.

So to clear things up, we fuck enough fat, uneven-titty, flat chested, garbage quality women, we don’t need you to celebrate them on our fucking time, by having some kind of topless love in where you’re all fucking sister and happy you found a bra and pantyset that feels right for you, you can do that shit behind closed doors and send us the highlight reel, provided anything sexy goes down, because this Women in Songs garbage makes me mad, but lesbian group sex doesn’t, especially when it is with girls who had no idea that they had dykin’ out in them before sitting in a room trying on panties with each other, even if they aren’t perfect looking, it’s a quantity over quality situation.

Posted in:Lingerie|Ultimo

2009

28

Apr

Samantha Ronson Spins at a Stripclub of the Day

Samantha Ronson DJed the stripclub opening Pam Anderson was at and I wonder if she found love for 10 dollars a song like I have so many times.

I always laugh when I see lesbians at the stripclubs I go to, they are usually really fat, manly, horny bitches who all the strippers flock to because they feel less violated when something that claims to have a pussy slaps their ass, despite the fact that there’s no real proof she’s a woman, and really all evidence points to penis.

They always seem to be out of control, drunk, screaming, annoying, flashing the strippers their tits, putting money in their mouths and laying on stage, eager to get pussy and it is like watching an obese person at the all you can eat buffet, knee deep in mash potatos, if you know what I mean. It’s one of thoseKaty Perry lesbian fantasy killer situations that makes all the guys in the club hate that she’s stealing the limelight….

On a sidenote, is this the end for Ronson, I mean all the stripclub DJs I’ve ever seen are pretty bottom of the fucking barrel, does leaving Lohan mean a life of awkward parties, stripclubs and back alley abortion clinics, you know bringing music to ease the pain of killing your unwanted fetus.

On another sidenote, I am sure she got paid 20,000 dollars to do this, and the place I go, the DJ only gets paid in handjobs.

Let’s do one more sidenote, I hate you.

Posted in:DJ|Samantha Ronson|Stripclub

2009

28

Apr

Katy Perry’s Dumpy Ass in Pink of the Day

Katy Perry is a sloppy, piece of shit of a girl who I hate. I am glad she took my Twitter advice to keep her shit under fucking wraps, I’m talking a Snuggie or something similar when she goes out in public because whenever I see her show just a little fuckin’ skin, that Kissed a Girl song jumps into the itunes in my head and I get all sexually confused, because girl on girl action is supposed to be the fucking fantasy, but Katy Perry on girl is just fucking awkward, fat, pale and ugly, making me wonder whether I am really a man or not and the answer to that question always comes back inconclusive.

Posted in:Dumpy|Katy Perry

2009

28

Apr

Pamela Anderson at Some Stripclub Opening of the Day

Pam Anderson was at the opening of some NYC stripclub which was pretty obvious because that’s pretty much what her Hollywood career has been. You know big fake everything, fucking rockstars and guys with lame tattoos, getting STDs and now that she’s washed up and disgusting, it’s only natural that she go back to “den mother” all these girls just starting out, and I use the word natural very loosly.

I spend a lot of time in stripclubs, I know how these things work. I see the old haggard stripper who you wonder how she got where she got and why she’s still allowed to work and you realize that she’s been there for decades and can’t get fired and that she acts as a mentor to the other girls because she’s seen it all , and her daughter so happens to work alongside her to pay for her college and that together, they get naked for money and that they only talk to me when they are really really desperate for money and have been rejected by everyone else in the club, including the staff, so I know the whore game, and I know that despite Pam Anderson getting sidetracked along her true calling with that whole Hollywood, celebrity shit, it’s never too late to crawl back into the gutter position your fate had lined up for you, your tits, your fake hair, lips and fabricated, plastic sex appeal.

Posted in:Opening|Pamela Anderson|Stripclub

2009

28

Apr

Paris Hilton and Her Magic Tits of the Day

Paris Hilton is out with her new boyfriend and she’s showing off her tits. I don’t care, maybe you do…sure I like tits as much as the next guy – but Paris Hilton I can do without. She was born a rich kid, never had to work a day in her life, but instead decided that that wasn’t good enough and that she needed to go out and do things “on her own” and become famous “on her own” and now, 10 years later, we’re still fucking talking about her, still taking pictures of her, and the only talent she really has is being a whiny brat who gets what she wants. So fuck you Paris Hilton for making me post this by dressing like a slut with tits, even though you don’t have tits, making the whole thing that much more confusing than it already is.

Posted in:Magic Tits|Paris Hilton