I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

01

May

Paris Hilton’s BFF Keeps Trying of the Day

If you’re wondering why this bitch won that Paris Hilton BFF reality show bullshit, it’s because Paris is shallow, loves herself and needed someone with an uglier face than her to make her feel good about herself.

Now that this girl has had a taste of Paris’ life for about a week before Paris collected her check and moved on with her life and left this cunt on a monthly allowance and D-List status, she’s struggling to stay relevant. She knows that if something doesn’t break soon, it’s back to wherever she came from, leaving hollywood and her TV career as just memories to tell the patrons at the stripclub she’ll be launching her long career at before killing herself after not being able to deal with being such a failure.

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Ugly

2009

01

May

Star Trek Premiere Pussy of the Day

Star Trek is coming and I’m sure that means that you are too, because Star Trek was the only friend you had growing up. It was the one thing you really connected with and when the internet hit it allowed you to find like minded loser virgins who you could interact with and meet at conventions to hang out with and is really the only reason you ever got married, so in a lot of ways Star Trek, the reason you were such a loser growing up, is the same reason you got pussy in the first place….

Here’s a little Heidi Klum throwin’ up her Virgin Gang Signs….I think that is like the hybrid shocker for girls with fatty assholes…but I am usually wrong about that shit…

Here’s some bad space jokes and others who were at the event….Which is funny because when you used to throw you Star Trek parties the only person who showed up was your stuffed animals and kid sister. I guess they got paid the fuck off, you know trying to take the acne faced, asthmatic, red headed pre-conceived notions of the shit…..


Amanda Bynes was there cuz her legs are out of this world…..


Kristin Cavallari was there because her career is as believable as science fiction….


Tori Spelling was there because her tits are fucking alien….


Hayden Panettiere because she all of her fans are fucking virgin Star Trek People. This is her fuckin’ scene

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Heidi Klum|Kristin Cavallari|Nicolette Sheridan|Star Trek

2009

01

May

Grandmother’s Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard of the Day

It is Friday. I am hungover. I am not in the mood to post. But when videos like this grandmother showing off her milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard, I can’t help but get excited. I’m talking awkward erection in the middel of this McDonalds excited, making the old ladies drinking their discounted coffee’s because they have nother better to do while waiting to die, blush. Enjoy.

Posted in:GILF|Granny|Slut

2009

01

May

Ashton Kutcher Made Me Famous of the Day

Someone anonymously sent me the twitter admin panel for Ashton Kutcher’s twitter page. I am guessing this is the backend that has all his information about his account that twitter employees have access too.

I am proud to say that I am one of 8 people he has blocked. That is amazing. Sure it may not do anything for me, but knowing that he went out of his way to make me specifically disappear makes me feel like I’ve made it. Let’s hope Oprah and CNN set up an interview with me to find out why I am one of very few people he couldn’t handle ripping into him. I’ll keep you motherfuckers posted.

I admit I terrorized him a little with comments about his wonky lookin’ twin and his mom’s failed uterus, comments about how his mom’s failed uterus has driven him to Demi’s plastic surgery uterus and comments about fucking Rumer cuz no one else will, but I think the one that put him over the edge is when I called him a joke and not a comedian. Either way, it is the first time I can say I am proud to be in the same box as Perez.

Posted in:Ashton Kutcher|Twitter

2009

30

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I met a handicapped woman today. She couldn’t get enough of my dog and the entire time she was talking to me as she was drooling all over herself, I couldn’t help but wonder if she fucked as wonky as she walked, talked and pretty much got through life and would I really be able to get down with her while it was going down, or would her screams, moans and handicapped person grunts make me lose my boner. I guess that makes me a sick fucking person, but I like to think I’m an equal opportunity employer of sex, while most people are disgusted by her birth defect/handicap/retardation/disability and lose their appetite when they get stuck eating next to her in a restaurant, I’m thinking about her vagina and it’s capabilities and not about what she lacks in ability. I truly am a hero.

I didn’t twitter that story, because twitter is fucking up my shit, leaving me with nothing to write about here, while here is where I live on the internet, so I am not down with Twitter for trying to fuck that up. Not to mention, that shit bores me and I can’t keep track of the people I am following mainly because people update too much and I really don’t care what they are up to. It also has to do with me being too into feeling sorry for myself to really get involved and bother with all the noise coming out of people on the shit, so if my twitter seems uninspired, it’s because twitter is uninspiring.

That doesn’t mean I am fully giving up on it, just because it fucks with my barely there self esteem.

So Follow Me
GO

Here are the rest of my AMAZING links…Start Clickin’.

People Are Trying To Ruin One of My Favorite Things…
GO

Paula Abdul Got Totally Played By Sacha Baron Cohen/Bruno
GO

I Gotta Admit, This Pizza Box Is Kind of Awesome
GO

The Nine Hottest Brazilian Women
GO

Fatty Catches Some Air
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Leotard is Under High Stress
GO

When Moms Discover the Power of the Net
GO

Which Thing Won’t Kill You?!
GO

Meet Aubrey Miles
GO

Inside the Mind of Mike Tyson
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Nicole Richie Already Ruined Her Vagina So I Guess That Joke Is Kind of Old Now
GO

BRad and Angelina’s New Orphan Baby
GO

Hey There Jessica Simpson’s Tits
GO

Sorry Lily Allen, No One Wants to Have Sex With You Anyway
GO

Miss Peru 2003 Claudia Hernandez Panty Upskirt Video Clip
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Kinda Wanna Stick My Dick in MK Olsen Today
GO

Welcome to The Rose Bal
GO

A Bunch of Sluts at Some LG Event
GO

Some Vintage Mr.Bean, Just Because
GO

Renata Daninsky and Marketa Brymova
GO

Kinda Wanna Blow Up The Entire American Idol Empire
GO

In Her Defense, That’s a Diet Coke Guys
GO

The Lovely Faye Valentine
GO

When Bazookas Backfire
GO

Some Riley Chase is Always Good for the Soul
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Vanessa Minnillo is Lookin Good
GO

Boy George is Looking to Get Some Peen In Prison
GO

Keeley Hazell Lingerie
GO

Adriana is Too Die For
GO

Britneay Spears Stripper Poles Had Better Be Double Reinforced
GO

Bombshells From Hell
GO

My Kingdom For This Police Officer Next Time I Get Arrested
GO

That Ho From Top Gun is a Lesbian!!
GO

Some Sand Art Video You Should Watch to Bring Some Culture into Your Useless Life
GO

Her Vagina is Awfully Vocal
GO

Naomi Campbell is Retiring
GO

Donkey Kong the Movie
GO

The 8 Essential Sex Positions For Summer
GO

This is a good place to make nude friends
GO

Booze and Titties…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

30

Apr

RIP Motherfucker the Dead Cheerleader Edition of the Day

Here’s an uplifting story for you.

This 21 year old died of a drug overdose the other day. She took GHB or GBL the core of GHB and did what my GHB friends call wiping out. Now her mother’s trying to ruin the party for the rest of us by getting the government in the UK to ban the shit that you can easily and legally buy off the internet there, which I think is amazing.

They say that this girl didn’t know she took the drug, but it was in a drink that she drank, I call lie, but GHB in unsuspecting drinks is the foundation of my pickin’ up girls game.

I get it, you’re sad your daughter died, but do you really need to fuck with how a lot of us get laid and how a lot of us have a good time. Do you have to rain on our gay pride parade because GHB is a cheap fun high and I am saying that after a good friend of mine had to be revived after taking two viles of the shit a couple years ago, because I respect that we all gotta go sometime and we can all make the decisions in life that can speed up the process….

Point of this is to say, just because you feel pain and loss doesn’t mean you gotta try to change the fucking world and leave some impact in her name. You don’t need to make us all suffer just cuz your daughter died. People die everyday and that’s like a parent banning cars because their kid died in a car accident, or banning cancer because they had childhood leukemia…people die.

Maybe if you were a better mother, your daughter would have made better judgement call and hung with people who didn’t fuck with drugs or parties. Maybe the real thing that needs to be banned is you. I’m not pointing fingers here, I’m just saying “KEEP GBL ALIVE!!!”

Posted in:GHB|Hester Stewart|Overdose

2009

30

Apr

Kim Kardashian and Her Leotard of the Day

Here are Kelly Osbourne and Kim Kardashian giving each other a hug the other day at some roller skating bullshit event because I guess they haven’t seen each other at the “all you can eat” buffet’s dessert spread since Kardashian decided to try to fool the world in making a workout DVD.

You see, to put things into perspective, I think I called Kelly Osbourne a Sea Pig a couple of weeks ago, so when you pit them up against each other, only to discover that Kelly Osbourne looks like Kim Kardashian can eat her and when Kelly Osborne invites you out somewhere to make her look skinny, you know your workout DVD is nothing more than a fucking joke.

That said, I still have a leotard fetish because I like clothing that touches tits and pussy at the same time like it ain’t a thing. I won’t let Kardashian change that, because even with all her lies, with all the flaws, with all the masculine features, she’s still a better catch than pretty much every girl I’ve slept with. So I can’t pretend to have standards…..

Keep it black Kim, this roller skating shit is like that Bow Wow movie.

Holly Madison and Her Shorts Were at the Same Event….and no one cared….because she was overshadowed by Kardashian….literally…I hate literally jokes…

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Leotard

2009

30

Apr

Uma Thurman Sloppy Tits of the Day

I just shoved my finger in an 18 year old girl’s mouth sexually and it wasn’t a hit.

I don’t know why, it was impulsive but I am sure it had to do with her perky tits being in my fucking face.

It wasn’t a random attack. I know the girl from around, she works the cash at the pharmacy down the street from me and we talk sometimes, that’s why I was so shocked when she called her manager and had me escorted out after I took things to the next level.

I hate pointing the “blame” finger, I rather stick it in a girl’s mouth/vagina/anus, but she was totally asking for it with those half-exposed fucking tits. Tits I can only imagine Uma once had when she was 18. But now she’s just a sloppy mess.

Posted in:Sloppy|Tits|Uma Thurman

2009

30

Apr

Elle Macpherson and Straw Suckin’ Legs of the Day

Here are some pictures of Elle Macpherson sucking a straw in a pair of shorts, that’s really the only reason I posted these pictures and is actually the same reason I go to the ice cream shop down the street. I could spend days just staring at hot moms and teenage girls licking a cone or sucking their milkshakes back only to play it back the memories in slow motion when I get home and my wife forces me to go down on her, which happens more than I’d like, probably because we don’t own a TV. That said, I think I better get a job to make the pain end…

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Legs

2009

30

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Hawaii Surfing of the Day

This is my second Lohan post today. She’s surfing in a one-piece and I am impressed by her athleticism. I’ve always wanted to be a surfer, at least ever since I saw Point Break. It looks like a lifestyle I could really connect with, unfortunately, I live in Canada, I am 300 pounds and I don’t know how to swim and I hate waking up early, so I’d really just want to sit on the beach creepin’ on girls all day, not that I like to refer to my life mission as creepy, I am just letting the rules of society get the better of me, because there’s nothing wrong with snappin’ off pics of unsuspecting girls as they tan while masturbating. That’s not creepy. Creepy would be following them to the public bathroom and raping them as they shower off the sand….or something. Fuck leave me alone. I don’t have the answers. I just know I need lunch.

Posted in:Hawaii|Lindsay Lohan|Surfing